All comics by Spankling

Profile

 

by Spankling
5-25-05
Zounds! Jenny is a lean, mean, computing machine! Nice work new guy!
Thanks sir! It's Jon, sir.
Now take a hike, new guy. You're fired.
NOOOO!
Can you believe it?
What did I ever see in you? Move on, I think Jenny's coming back!

 

by Spankling
5-25-05
Oh computer! You're insatiable! And so warm!
I'm over-clocked, baby! Let's computate baby!
Jenny! What are you doing with those cables?!?
Going above and beyond, boss! I've got this thing doing multiple printouts!
So you thought you could take her from me!
Now calm down boss! Don't blow a circuit!

 

by Spankling
5-25-05
I can't believe I trashed the system! Now we're gonna have big piles of crap on the left and none on the right!
Not to mention a big gaping hole in my Friday night.
Hurry up boss, I'm still on the clock!
Hold on! I never glued a spacebar to my privates before!

 

by Spankling
5-25-05
Boss! What are you doing here?
Trying to forget what I've just been through. What are you doing here?
Trying to decide on my next career move. How are Jenny and the company treating you?
The company is defunct and Jenny has gone hand-on cyber.
Come again?
Not with this thing on my crank.

 

by Spankling
5-31-05
You made panties with built-in GPS?
YES! And I've included a remote shock treatment feature!
I think I can find a use for that...
I thought as much.
Honey, put these on. We're going to play hide and seek.
New panties for me? I love wearing girl's panties! They make me feel huge, and their so silky! Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

 

by Spankling
6-15-05
La la la... a quick finger bath and I'm off to sleepyland.
ACK! Who the crap are you?
I am the King of Pajama Police! You are under arrest!
How about if I just slip on a t-shirt. (you big fag)

 

Lust, Anger, Greed, Gluttony, Envy, Pride and Sloth
So sweet and pure. DAMN IT! I must have her all for myself!
I wish my tits were armor plated. But I wouldn't waist my valuable time polishing them.
by Spankling, 6-23-05

 

by Spankling
7-16-05
*sigh* A blind date! I can't believe I let you talk me into this!
Chill! You'll thank me! He's a hunk on the rebound! Just go have fun!
Thanks for agreeing to this. You're very kind...
I swallow!
Uh... Bonus! Let's go!

 

by Spankling
7-22-05
We have a requirement to expose certain data to our customers for free and other data on a subscription basis. Further, we want to keep the up-sell always on the customer's mind. Right?
Right. Any ideas what will work?
May I direct your attention to a little site called porn-r-us.com? Notice how I can surf selected images before even identifying myself.
Is... Is that animal cruelty, what they're doing?
Yet when I use my login (obtained for illustrative purposes of course) I have access to fetishes tailored to my own tastes. I mean, if I liked that sort of thing.
Slow down! What was that password?

 

by Spankling
7-29-05
Sooooo....
How's the acid?
Depends. Are you naked?

 

by Spankling
7-31-05
Son, we need to talk.
If it's about sex mom and I already played that. I learned a lot!
What? Oh forget that. I have something important to tell you.
Okay dad. Shoot.
You're gay.
Uh... I think you better run this little theory of yours past mom.

 

Goodbye costume security deposit.
by Spankling, 8-07-05

 
by Spankling, 9-01-05

 

by Spankling
9-12-05
Tammi Toolbelt says:
Put some air in your tires, guys! It makes them big and puffy! Tee Hee!!
That's right Tammi. It also helps your tire's tread grip the road.
And it cuts down on ware and tear. Ouch!
That's right Tammi. Just like a good lube, 'eh girl!
Tee Hee! That's right!
Tammi, leave that schmoo and bring your pneumatic hardware over to my place!

 

by Spankling
9-12-05
This is gonna be great!
No. No it is not. You don't want me kid!
Oh yes I do! I saw the good times Daddy was having and...
That? That's nothin! He was telling me I don't hold a candle to your old lady! You should be waving that pole at her, big boy!
When I grow up, I'm going to marry YOU, Mommy!
AWW! Heh-heh! Isn't that cute? Now go wash up. daddy will be home any minute.

 

by Spankling
9-13-05
I take responsibility!
This statement does not imply responsibility or a willingness to suffer consequences. Only applies to the extent the federal government didn't fully do its job right.
Fool me once, won't get fooled again.
Offer not valid in Texas, Louisiana and any Blue states. Other restrictions apply. See dealer for details. Member FEMA.

 

by Spankling
9-21-05
The coffee at work taste like diarrhea from an acid elemental.
I take it with a little Sweet and Low.

 

by Spankling
9-22-05
I share a cube with a guy who grew up with our CIO.
I'm not sure what his job title is.
I stashed my heroin in your Dilbert doll.

 

by Spankling
9-22-05
Some of the old-timers here have cheap plastic trophies on their desks with "Employee of the Year" or "Top Performer" printed on them.
These are supposed to serve as motivation in loo of salary.
God, I want one of those things.

 

by Spankling
9-26-05
After a grinding week at work it's good when Friday finally comes.
Have a nice weekend!
I can leave behind all the stress and heartache.
PARTY TIME!
And enjoy my family.
Welcome home honey *erp*

 

What you have, dear, is a bad case of prophylactic rash.
But I got a vaccination!
by Spankling, 10-03-05

 

That's 3 minutes in the penalty box for high sticking!
And worth every second!
by Spankling, 10-05-05

 

by Spankling
10-12-05
Ze body iz daaa temple of...
I mean, dee temple is in the mind and you...
What I'm trying to zay izz you should wash! Look what I pull from your nazty quim!
Hey! I was saving that for later!

 

I got bird flu! I swear! Stay back! Don't push your luck!
I'll take my chances. I don't think it's sexually transmitted.
by Spankling, 10-14-05

 

by Spankling
10-16-05
Anna! What are you doing here?
You remember telling me when we were kids that I should keep my body private?
God doesn't want you to do that.
If god were here he would lick it.
I just stopped by to see if celibacy has driven you insane yet.
Must... not... tell... her... about... Father Murphy!

 
by Spankling, 10-16-05

 

And all the day you'll have good luck
by Spankling, 10-17-05

 

by Spankling
10-19-05
Bend over and drop your pants.
You first, sweet teets.
Okay smart mouth, stick this under your tongue while I reach up your ass and perform a tonsillectomy on you.
I LOVE my HMO!

 

by Spankling
10-22-05

 

by Spankling
10-24-05
Sweet honey on a hot griddle! Hello tall blonde and smoldering!
ulp
Sooooo... whatcha hiding behind your back?
That which can take pain beyond fun.

 

by Spankling
11-03-05
I love those little fun sized 3 Musketeers candy bars.
?
When I was little my grandpa used to buy a bag of them and keep them on top of his Hustler mags.
!
To this day when I smell them I get all...
I'm moving the kids candy back out to the kitchen.

 

by Spankling
11-10-05
You sure you got her?
Problem solved!
'Cuz she was pretty fuckin' mad after what we did with her last night...
I'm telling you, you got nothing to worry about!
YES! The cage aint been built that can hold the tit-fuck fairy!

 

by Spankling
11-15-05
The north wind doth blow and we shall have snow. And what will the robin do then? Poor thing.
He'll sit in the barn and keep his-self warm, and hide his head under his wing. Poor thing.
At which point it was a piece of cake to sneak up on him.
Just don't make eye contact.

 

by Spankling
12-02-05
[sigh] Yes, Mr Spankling. What seems to be the trouble now?
Well Nurse Goodbody, I have this... swelling.
Just like yesterday?
Yes'm. It keeps coming back... And you seem so gifted...
Okay. Get behind the screen. I got 1/2 an hour free.
SCORE!

 

by Spankling
12-14-05
Okay nurse, who's next?
Who's next? You ass-hump me by the water cooler and then smile and ask who's next?!?
uh... that was just a rectal exam! Yes... I thought I detected... uh...
Oh, save it for the HMO paperwork, Dr. Pork-fingers!
So I guess checking your tonsils with Mr. Tongue Depresser later is...
...going to cost you, sir. I'm not falling for that one again.

 

by Spankling
1-03-06
I'm gonna start my own website.
Yeah? What you gonna call it?
www. thatswaytoobig tofitinsideabitch .com
Oh. Horse crank pictures... Great idea.
Gonna get rich!!!
Did you have to rip off Tard Boy and Finkelman to do it?

 

by Spankling
1-04-06
So what will it be you great, balloon headed beauty? Care for a bit more of the same from last night?
Hmmm... My jaw is still a bit sore from last night...
Or maybe... nipple twisting? Ride me around the room? Spank me? Spit on me? Please, speak!
he he
WHAT?!? WHAT DO YOU WANT?!? I'LL DO ANYTHING!!!
I couldn't torture him worse than to just stand here being undecided for a few more hours.

 

by Spankling
1-08-06
Joseph! I've just been knocked up by God!
But I'm still a virgin...
Imagine my relief.

 

by Spankling
1-08-06
God? Really?
Yes darling.
Please don't ask how he was!
So... God must be pretty damn good.
Okay! So he gave me a reach around that nearly dislocated my hips when I came! Are you happy!?!

 

by Spankling
1-08-06
I've been thinking about your fling with the creator, Mary.
You and me both.
I was wondering... would you mind sleeping around before we consummate our marriage?
REALLY? I have God on speed dial!
I meant with Melvin the bag boy. I want you to have another standard to compare me to.
Melvin? Oh. Sure, if that makes you happy, Joe.

 

by Spankling
1-08-06
Hi Mrs...
Just call me Mary, Melvin.
Okay. The carpenter says I'm supposed to come up here and...
Don't say it Melvin! Let's just get this over with?
All right, Mary. So what will it be first? My 13 inch tongue or what the other girls have dubbed my leg splitting love hammer?
13 inch... Melvin... You got more tongue than God!

 

by Spankling
1-08-06
Did Melvin give you a different view of what sex can be from God?
Yes dear!
Good.
He showed me that God don't know shit!
Maybe in the future I won't seem like such a bad experience.
You know Joe, maybe bringing Melvin back now and then would be a helpful reminder...

 

by Spankling
1-08-06
[umph] Damn Mary! You sure can grind your hips for a virgin... or near virgin... I mean, besides Melvin [umph] and God.
[sigh] Shut up and put your finger here you... darling you.
Holy shit! Mom! Dad!
AAAAAAHG!
LA LA LA LA LA LA I'M NOT SEEING THIS!
Son! Wait! He's not even your father!

 

by Spankling
1-13-06
It's this God thing. I mean... some guys have to put up with an ex... but how am I supposed to compete with that! [whine]
. . .
I mean he IS omnipotent, right? See what I mean?!? Omni - Potent?!?
[sigh]
what?
I realy tried to give a fuck, Joseph. But it's just not working.

 

by Spankling
1-13-06
Son, I know we've always been close, but I think you're taking it a bit far.
This isn't about Miss Magdalene again, is it mother? I don't feel comfortable...
Yes, son. Just because her name is Mary doesn't mean she's a nice girl.
But she treats me so well, mom! She anoints my feet with oil!
Son, she's a hooker! Last week I gave her 10 shekels and she anointed my butt with her tongue!
LA LA LA LA I'M NOT HEARING THIS!

 

by Spankling
2-06-06
God DAMN you bitch! Git ova hea!
Y-Yes... Grandpa? Sir?
Tell me what dat smells like!
[gulp!] Couldn't you just beat me and rape me like usual?

 

by Spankling
3-03-06
Unca Dick! I heard your daughter is... ulp... gay.
That's old news Jr.
But... aint that... jiy-ne-tic
That's what I hear.
Then don't that make you like... part gay?
Damn! He's catching on!

 

by Spankling
7-22-06
Now that I'm letting your paycheck increase an infinitesimal fraction, how about we hump for a while?
Of course, sir.
Great! Just gimme a taste of that sweet pie first.
Please, I would rather be dry humped than have your clueless slobber all over my groin again.

 

by Spankling
10-27-06
Sup?
You ever get the urge to play boner fights? You know, just you and a good buddy?
Play sword fights with your...
No.
Me neither.

 

by Spankling
12-05-06
Have you been able to get a rise out of Spanky lately? I think he's depressed.
Spanky? I thought I just saw him going down to the playroom.
Hi Spanky. How 'bout I fist you and sharpen my claws on your inerds?
Hu? Oh... If you must... whatever. *sigh*
How is he?
Worst case of early holidays blues ever.

Showing page 15.

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