All comics by brycekain

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by brycekain
11-29-14
That concludes the weekly South Central High Chess Club tournament. Ok, which club is next?
Ah shit.

 

by brycekain
11-29-14
I can't believe you let me pee in your turd cutter.
I can't believe you think I ever existed.

 

by brycekain
11-30-14
I'm not coming out today or doing any comics. I'm sick and don't feel like being very sociable right now.
That's our lovable scamp!
Seriously. Fuck off.
Must be on his period.

 

by brycekain
11-30-14
So this is Satan's A-hole.
I wonder what all that green stuff is.
PFFFFFFFFT!!!
What?
He said he's a vegetarian.

 

by brycekain
11-30-14
Do my eyes deceive me??
I give good head.
BRYCEKAIN IS REALLY PANDA PISS AND PLANETWTF AND ATEISTDAIRY AND HAR HAR HAR HAR SPAY AND NEUTER YOUR HAM! I LIKE BACON, YOU BIG FAT PHONY!! DON'T TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

 

by brycekain
12-01-14
Oh boy oh boy oh boy! My first glory hole!
Get out of there, brycekain!

 

by brycekain
12-01-14
brycekain, this is the second time today you have appeared in your comics after hitting the random layout button.
I know. Since I woke up this morning I've felt very random, very sad, very...
"Douchebaggy?"
And a little gay.
It's like the God of Pots and Pans is making you do things only He wants to do! *snicker*
That would explain why I want to go shopping for used buttplugs on Cyber Monday.

 

by brycekain
12-01-14
Unfortunately this holiday season you will be going green.
*thunk*
...and my penis falls off. Great.

 

by brycekain
12-01-14
I challenge you to a stare-off!
Never fuck with Jizz Master, the Taxidermied Goat
I'M BLIND!!!

 

by brycekain
12-01-14
One in the pink, one in the stink, yo!
How did you get a vagina on your chest anyway?
It came with my front-butt.

 

by brycekain
12-01-14
Hey, JJ. I know my character is a Jedi, but can I throw in some nursery rhymes?
I am Han Solo and you will do as I say!
But daaaaaaad!
Sir, Mr. Abrams was in a serious car accident and now he's in a coma. What should we do??
Bring in George Lucas. What could possibly go wrong?

 

by brycekain
12-01-14
The force. It is a fire that burns within all Jedis. It has finally awakened in you, young Skywalker Jr.
zzzzzzzzzz
We have defeated Darth Hitler and his evil squad of Care Bear Troopers! Now lets feast!
Hello, welcome to Chik-fil-A, may I take your order?
YES! HE'S IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE! Now where's my lead actor?!?
Meessa right here, boss man!

 

by brycekain
12-05-14
It's just not worth it anymore.
What's not?
Life. Racism is rampant. The whole world hates Americans. And I've got it especially hard being an african american male. What's the point anymore?
You know, you're right. Fuck it. I'm checking out.
*BANG*
There is no punchline. Life is disappointment. Horror. Chaos beyond our human understanding. Suck it up. It only gets worse from here.

 

by brycekain
12-05-14
What the fuck...?
What? What what what? Tell meeee!
What? Oh it's nothing. I was just reading the last comic. Who the fuck peed in his wheaties?
That's great and all, but in a two dimensional universe like our's, I can't turn around and see! What is the comic about?
Let's just call it a Dark Comedy.

 

by brycekain
12-05-14
How much do I owe you?
Just my weekly paycheck, sir.
I think I'm going to quit being an accountant for Penn State.
And give up on all that wonderful man gravy?

 

by brycekain
12-05-14
WHOAH! Shit!
What a pussy.

 

by brycekain
12-05-14
Red card. Penalty foul on ref 4 degrees to compass south. Boners.
Your temperature is 300 and 40 degrees kelvin! This is impossible!
It is if you're...... LEX LUTHOR! REFEREE MAN!
No, honey. You should be dead. Did I use the right thermometer?
The one for the cow, right?
Panty Waste's mom, yeah.

 

by brycekain
12-05-14
I'm so agoraphobic I can't even leave this fence inside my own house.
I'm a fucking BILLYGOAT!
You win this round, asshole.

 

by brycekain
12-05-14
♫♫♫ War! ♫♫♫ What is it good for!
Job creation.
Fuckin' closet case Republicans.

 

by brycekain
12-05-14
I'm pregnant.
Whore.

 

by brycekain
12-05-14
What's this?
Hmmm... I think it's a french fry. Try eating it.
It tastes like shame.
No no, that was my asshole.

 

by brycekain
12-05-14
I'm pregnant.
Gay?
** clears throat ** Estoy embarazada?
No, you just turned me gay.

 

by brycekain
12-05-14
I know this isn't the best time to tell you this, but...
You're pregnant, right?
You are such an asshole.
See the squirrel in the next comic? Do what he's doing to my face.

 

by brycekain
12-05-14
PFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
Pregnancy fart!

 

by brycekain
12-05-14
Did you hear John Goodman is going to jail?
Not that John Goodman.
The one who drugged all those chicks?
That's Bill Cosby.*
* Allegedly.
Then who's going to jail?
Yup. And What's going to make him his bitch.

 

by brycekain
12-05-14
Hey, Mr. Fart. Did you hear that Bill Cosby's going to jail?
Not that I heard, but then again John Heard is an asshole.
Who?
Oh that guy's getting his b-hole schnookered the moment he gets in there!
Why isn't my fart more african-american sounding?

 

by brycekain
12-05-14
As your lawyer, I advise you to keep your mouth shut and tell the other inmates you're here for drug possession.
How am I going to explain that?
Drug mule?
Well I *am* being fisted by John Goodman.

 

by brycekain
12-05-14
What did John Goodman say to his cellmate?
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.....

 

by brycekain
12-05-14
John Goodman is getting buttfucked by a guy named Bubba.
The horse will be beaten until morale improves.

 

by brycekain
12-05-14
Did you hear that John Goodman is going to jail?
Yeah! His asshole will smell like that!

 

by brycekain
12-05-14
It's dead! Stop saying it! The joke isn't funny anymore!
Jailhouse.

 

by brycekain
12-06-14
Dead Horse Comics!â„¢ You secrete 'em, we beat 'em! How may I help you today?
Our copy machine's busted. Can you guys do anything about that?
Well we WOULD send our technician out, but John Goodman's in jail. Sorry.
Did he rape a clydesdale?

 

by brycekain
12-06-14
John, as your lawyer, I'd advise you to stop making deals with the guards in return for more mayonaise. It doesn't work very well for anal sex.
But I'm Gary!
Hi, Gary. I'm John Goodman's drive-thru lawyer®. Will you please shank my client for not paying his last bill?
So cold................ this tragic horse....

 

by brycekain
12-06-14
Hey, it's a letter from John!
What does it say?
Sorry I missed your visit. I was busy assisting an attacker in making my cellmate wet. The brutality of the back door action gave me blue ball, though.
What did he do before going to prison?
Water polo.
Poor bastard.

 

by brycekain
12-06-14
STOP FARTING, JOHN GOODMAN!

 

by brycekain
12-06-14
I am the horse.
ROADHOUSE!

 

by brycekain
12-06-14
Know what's more fun than a punch in the dick?
What?
Fucking your mom.
Know what's more fun than that?
What?
Nothing. :(

 

by brycekain
12-07-14
Sir, people have been talking...
Don't start.
But sir, they've been saying that you're...
I CAN'T HELP IT IF HE SUBLIMINALLY EQUATES HIMSELF WITH THE WORD PANTY WASTE NOW!
What?
You heard me! Fuck John Goodman!

 

by brycekain
12-08-14
So this is heaven.
No.
Hell?
Nope.
Then what?
You overdosed on KFC and you're hallucinating on chicken farts.

 

by brycekain
12-08-14
This isn't Bring Your Kid to Work Day.
Oh I just found this in the dumpster.
WHAT?? You have to go to the cops!!
It's not a baby. I'm using this blanket to cover up the horse syringe in my arm.
You don't have to do that on Casual Heroin Day.

 

by brycekain
12-08-14
"Dear asshole..." Oh this doesn't sound good.
Keep reading.
"This is another Change-This-Ending comic. If you follow my comics then you know what to do. If not, ask a friend. If you don't have any friends: HA HA." What a dick.

 

by brycekain
12-08-14
There's no room for you in public schools!
There's no room for you either!
Wait, why not?
You're a ghost.
Yeah? Well YOU'RE IMAGINARY!
PLANETWTF???

 

by brycekain
12-08-14
What are we doing?
FINE! IGNORE ME!
"♫♫ "...and I jizz in my pants!" ♫♫

 

by brycekain
12-08-14
OOOOH! I'M THE HOLY GHOST! OOOOH!
No you're not. You're a real ghost. There's no place for you here!
What's the difference?
There's no place for logic here either.

 

by brycekain
12-08-14
Why are you doing that? Stop that!
Got to get the demons outta my head! They make me do things like be nice to people and watch hockey!
Fuckin' Canadians.
Sorry 'boot all the blood, eh?

 

by brycekain
12-08-14
Bob the Drive Thru Lawyerâ„¢ has a difficult time using the public restroom.
At least I'm not a panty waste.
Would you shut the fuck up about that shit? I'm trying to get that douchebag to fuck off!
Then stop making comics about John Goodman!

 

by brycekain
12-08-14
I heard my mating call.
I didn't say anything.
THERE IT IS AGAIN!
I queefed.

 

by brycekain
12-08-14
Bitch! Where you think you're goin'? Where's my money?
I'm done crossing roads for you! You keep all the money and I take all the risk! Well no more! You can watch this delicious piece of ass walk out the door!
*sigh* There goes my abortion omelets.

 

by brycekain
12-09-14
All alone.
What should I do?
WACK IT!
Sorry, Ghost of David Carradine. I do not want to play your reindeer games.

 

by brycekain
12-09-14
Damn asparagus.

Showing page 15.

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