All comics by HCRoyall

Profile

 

by HCRoyall
6-23-06
THE KEY TO MANNING THE REGISTER IS TO ASSRAPE EVERY CUSTOMER WITH YOUR GIANT ROBOT DONG.
I'm not a robot.
REALLY?
I have a collapsable umbrella in my car if that would help.
I like the way you think.

 

by HCRoyall
6-26-06
WELCOME TO McRAPEY'S! MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?
I'm with the Health Department. I've come to investigate some rather disturbing reports that have been coming about this establishment.
I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT THOSE REPORTS ARE BASELESS AND UNFOUNDED. FOLLOW ME AND I WILL PROVE IT TO YOU.
And that's why you shouldn't pay any attention to the banging coming from the freezer.

 

by HCRoyall
6-27-06
Welcome to McRapey's! Can I take your or.. Oh! Uh.. hi Grandma.
Hello, Junior! I'll just have the Rapey Salad please.
Here you go Grandma. Ha... have a nice day...
Why thank you, Junior!
It was hard, but once I got over my fears and inserted the umbrella, things really went smoothly.
I think I smell a promotion for you.

 

by HCRoyall
7-08-06
Due to legal issues, Happy Doggy is no longer on the air. We at PBS would like to present The Uncle Harry Show!
Hey kid, come here and help Uncle Harry take care of his blue achin' balls...
Due to legal issues. The Uncle Harry Show is no longer on the air...

 

by HCRoyall
7-12-06
WELCOME TO McRAPEY'S! MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?
I want a burger which I will pay for and receive, then be painfully assraped when I turn around to eat said burger.
You just took all the fun out of this job.

 

by HCRoyall
7-15-06
New! On PAX! Jesus personally answers your questions!
Let's get this shit over with.
"Dear Jesus, if you love everyone equally, then how come some people say the Bible says you hate gays and Jews?
Because they're retards and the Bible is a pack of dirty li...

 

What ho! Twould seem that I might reduce my posting and comic creation time in half if I were to ignore the rules of grammar and spelling!
by HCRoyall, 7-18-06

 

The first guy to wake up to an ugly woman after a night of heavy drinking...
SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS ON A POGO STICK!!
by HCRoyall, 7-26-06

 

by HCRoyall
8-01-06
Hi! I'm trying to raise support and awareness about our ogranization, For PETA's Destruction. Every pledge means another PETA member dead and another steak on someone's plate.
I do like a good steak now and then. I'm in.
Thanks for the support!
Can I sign again?

 

by HCRoyall
8-01-06
And remember kids: Tell your parents to support the FPD movement!
What's FPD stand for?
Forensic Pedophile Disjunction!
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
I don't know, but it sounds really cool!

 

by HCRoyall
8-01-06
I used to be a lonely barfly like yourself until I joined the FPD!
FPD? What's that?
The Firm and Perky D-cup association! They hook you up with a plastic surgeon and inflate those mosquito bites of yours so you can get a date despite your hideous face!
Really? How long does it take?
Not long at all!

 

Fornication Prevention Depertment
by HCRoyall, 8-01-06

 

Freestyle Perjury by a Donkey
Honestly, officer! I have no idea how that underage japanese exchange student ended up tied naked to my bed with various phallic objects in her orifices!
by HCRoyall, 8-01-06

 

Being trapped in a void of nothingness wasn't what scared me. It was the fact that I couldn't figure out how to go to the bathroom without the risk of it getting all over me...
by HCRoyall, 8-07-06

 

by HCRoyall
8-07-06
IAmNotAFed24: a/s/l?
You're not even trying anymore, are you?

 

by HCRoyall
8-07-06
Sucky sucky? Love long time?
And you'll stay down there until you learn not to be so cliche!

 

by HCRoyall
8-07-06
Butch?
Yes?
Why is there a 10-year-old asian whore in our basement?
I like eating Chinese, but only if it's fresh.
Please tell me that was a cannibalism reference.

 

I gave it the benefit of the doubt when it said it came in peace, but then horrible tentacles shot out of it's beard and raped every orifice on my body...
by HCRoyall, 8-07-06

 

by HCRoyall
8-07-06
WELCOME TO McRAPEY'S! MAY I... Oh. It's you.
I came to beg for my job back.
Well, we can't have you manning the register after that last fiasco, and the fryer has filed at least ten different sexual harassment complaints about you...
Please! I'll do anything!
What's that big pole you have, Mr. Robot?
Oh nothing. Just turn around and look at the ball pit for a second...

 

by HCRoyall
8-08-06

 

by HCRoyall
8-09-06
No Jimmy! Don't do it!
I just can't take it any more!
Finally, I will avenge the death of my father! Taste my steel!
Spoo...
I told you not to touch it.

 

You post more in six months than some members have posted in their SC careers, and you can't even spell 'zebra' right.
wht r u a fag ro somthng?
by HCRoyall, 8-10-06

 

And that's when I stopped believing in Santa.
by HCRoyall, 8-14-06

 

Needless to say, blowjobs on Halloween are not always a good idea...
by HCRoyall, 8-14-06

 

by HCRoyall
8-16-06
tag, you're it!
i called no tagsies.
give me all the money in the register!
i called no robsies.
YOUR SOUL IS MINE.
i called no deathsies.

 

by HCRoyall
8-23-06
Joke's on you. I gave you a fake credit card number.
What? Fine. Pay me for real and I'll open your account back up.
Really?
No.
You realize you aren't getting any money now, right?
I always screw up on that one.

 

by HCRoyall
8-23-06
How did you get into my house, anyway?
Penguins can walk through walls.
No they can't.
Okay, I just walked in the front door. You left it wide open.
That sounds about right.

 

by HCRoyall
8-23-06
Okay, seriously. This time if you pay me I'll really set everything back the way it was.
Promise?
Promise.
You swear?
Only on occasion.

 

by HCRoyall
8-23-06
All right. Here's fifty bucks.
Excellent.
So when will everything be back the way it was?
By the next panel.
I hate you. So much.

 

by HCRoyall
8-28-06
I'm Jesus, Son of God. Belive in me and ye shall be saved.
Go back to the crazy house you freak. I've got teenagers to seduce.
I'm Jesus, Son of God. I've come to save you from your sins.
More hallushinashuns? This one has lesh tentaclesh...
Look, I'm really the son of God.
Yeah, and I'm not just some guy pretending to be a doctor and scamming people out of their money.

 

by HCRoyall
8-28-06
Eternal Salvation? No more suffering? Am I getting through to you?
Que?
Save your soul for a dollar?
Beat it, you bum.
Hey, Dad? About that saving the world thing...
This is why I wanted a girl...

 

by HCRoyall
9-08-06
What happened? Where am I?
Ah, Mr. Cruise! So glad to see you've arrived!
This isn't right. Heaven doesn't exist! Religion and history are all lies! Tell me what's going on! The Power of Scientology commands you!
Here's the deal Tom. Your appendix burst. One too many jumps on Oprah's couch jostled it to the point of no return.
Really?
No, Really, you got hit by a bus full of your remaining fans.

 

As I watched him leave, I couldn't help but feel a sense of loss. That was probably because he took my spleen, a kidney, and two feet of my small intestine with him...
by HCRoyall, 9-20-06

 

by HCRoyall
9-20-06
WELCOME TO McRAPEY'S! MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?
Instead of an actual meal, can I just buy a whole lot of rape?
Yes?

 

The murder spree that followed was blamed entirely on the director's choice of costumes in the production of Romeo and Juliet.
by HCRoyall, 9-21-06

 

I thought Jesus was really hardcore Emo until he did that whole "rising from the Dead" thing. Poser.
by HCRoyall, 9-21-06

 

"Your results are a little funny," the doctor said. So I punched him in the throat.
by HCRoyall, 9-21-06

 

Santa does make toys for bad children. It's just that God eats anyone who tries to deliver them.
by HCRoyall, 9-21-06

 

by HCRoyall
9-21-06
...so I said, "Those rotor turbines aren't going to generate gravitons by themselves!"
Ha Ha!
Then the cocktail of Vicodin, Morphine, and Pseudophedrine wore off.
What the fuck are you talking about?

 

Unfortunately for Spock, the Redshirt strike began just before the away mission to the planet Karr Tuun.
by HCRoyall, 10-09-06

 

It seemed an open and shut case: The bird squeezed through the bars and flew away. But something just didn't seem right. There were no open windows, and the blood and crime scene tape seemed odd...
by HCRoyall, 10-09-06

 

by HCRoyall
10-09-06
People used to always ask what I did for a living.
Then people started disappearing and never being found, leaving all their bank account info with me beforehand.
Speaking of which, it's time to feed Scruffy again.

 

by HCRoyall
10-09-06
You wanted to see me, Boss?
I have some concerns about your performance...
If it's about that one kid who left with bloodstains on the back of his pants...
No, no, that was good.
I want to know why that doesn't happen more often.

 

by HCRoyall
10-10-06
Whatcha thinkin' about?
I was just thinking about when we eventually have kids. I mean, what if we have a really prissy girl?
Not that I'd mind a girl, but I don't know what I'd do with a prissy girl. Who would I jump in mud puddles with? Who would I show neat bugs to?
ME!

 

by HCRoyall
10-10-06
So Tthat's Phluphphy?
Yep.
He's so CUTE!

 

by HCRoyall
10-10-06
What would I ever do without you?
Heck if I know. You're barely capable of taking care of yourself.
You're horrible sometimes.
I know, I'm sorry.
No you aren't.
Yeah, you're right.

 

Sorry hon. It's "that time".
by HCRoyall, 10-11-06

 

by HCRoyall
10-11-06
American Idol!
::click::
Law and Order: Special Needs Foster Children Unit!
::click::
The Biggest Loser!
Gah!

 

by HCRoyall
10-11-06
Whoa! This is the farthest I've ever gotten in this game...
Better save...
::CRACK::BOOM::
NOOOOOOOO!!!

 

by HCRoyall
10-11-06
Eh? It's 7:30. Aren't you usually attached to your computer screen from 4-10 P.M.?
A virus got my computer and now the only webpage I can view is the goatsecs thing.
I'm already starting to get the shakes. I need net access, man! Let me use your computer! I'll do anything!
Oh, this is going to be fun.
:'(

Showing page 16.

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