All comics by Makin_d_bacon

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-02-17
So Padre, do you think makin_d_bacon & ragu4u will be at service today?
It depends.
On what?
Will "AKB48" be making a personal appearance here?
I highly doubt it!
Then THERE'S your answer!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-03-17
Hey rags, remember "The Undertaker"?
Vaguely...why?
He & Trump did a televised "Smackdown".
Hog-wash!
Don't tell me that YOU'VE , also....?
Fine! Then I WON"T! But I COULD!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-03-17
Offices of CNN in Atlanta, Ga.
Has Trump made any Tweets yet today?
Nothing yet...but we're looking 24/7!
That's BULL-SHIT! Make something up if you have to!
But that might be considered "Fake News" boss!
Then let "Joe Public" figure that out...if he CAN!
Got it, boss! It's kinda like ..."We report, you decide.", right?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-03-17
...and now back to "B.J. & the Bear" on TV Land!
I know...I'll ask dad.
Well son, I don't believe in watching "Sex Ed" on TV but my guess is that the male bears can be coaxed to orgasm just like a man!
What the hell...?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-04-17
That's right! They intend to replace Putin, sir!
You're kidding! With who? There's no Putin like Vlad Putin, like NO Putin I know!!
*queef*
*ugh*
There's always Maura, sir!
I stand corrected!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-04-17
I'm looking to find out what folks like best about the 4th of July!
Sir? Tell me....can there be anything BETTER than the 4th?
Hell yeah!
Like what?
A "5th"...*hic* hands down!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-05-17
Sorry people...no comic today!
It's all your fault!
All I ask is those guys play with me ONE measely day a year!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-06-17
Suck a dick?
Excuse ME?
Well...do ya?
You expect ME to believe you've got "wood", huh?
And why WOULDN'T I? I'm a freakin marionette, right?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-06-17
My parents HATE me, Eeyore! I'm gonna run away!
Take me too, please!
Great! It'll be fun. I'll get a job and I can ride you to work daily!
Neato Maura...let's get going!
But, as you may have already guessed by Maura's new make-up & outfit.....
What can we possibly do HERE, in a sleazy Tijuana bar?
I don't know, Eeyore, but it's got something to do with us, a trapeze, and K-Y jelly

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-07-17
A Field in Herculaneum, Mo. 8/21/17
This eclipse sucks!
Maybe we need to wait longer.
We've already been here for an hour!
Patience, my porky little buddy!
Screw it, I need sleep! I'm heading back to the motel!
Could it be they meant 1:15 "pm" instead of "am"?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-07-17
It's Tuesday! You wanna do "it"?
Uh...I guess!
Now let's go our seperate ways!
Yes...to ponder this experience!
Meh!
Meh!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-07-17
Finally after singing this song for days..
"If I had the wings of an angel, over these prison walls I would fly!"
....the crooner strangely disappeared...
Now where did that crooning convict get off to? It's not likely he got his wings!
....possibly to the "Twilight Zone".
Keep thinking like that, bozo!
Who said that?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-07-17
What's he lookin around for?
His wife took his nuts!
Same scenario...different characters!
...and don't expect to get em back, either!
Yes, dearest! Whatever you say!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-08-17
At Chez ragu/d_bacon........
Hey d_bacon, RCLG is sending someone over to show us something!
Not AGAIN? It's probably gonna amaze us tho, right Rags?
You know it! HEY! I just saw somebody through our window coming up to the door.
OK...I guess I'll see what he's got!
He's got a nice blue suit!
First of all fella, we can't SEE it and 2nd of all....what the hell is an "Airdick" anyway?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-09-17
Watcha waitin for, Timmy?
I can't decide. Should I knock or ring the bell?
That's easy. Just think about where we are!
Oh YEAH, right!
You boys are quite the avid knockers, aren't you?
Uh...yeah! "Knockers"...that's US, alright!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-10-17
I need a "teacher's assistant". If you want the job, you got it!
Wonderful. I can perform in many different positions.
Hello! I'm the new "Teacher's Assistant" for this class!
For Sex-Ed"? How cool is THAT?
Sex-Ed? Well...um...uh...what did your LAST "Teacher's Assistant" do?
Besides having oral & anal sex, showing proper BJ & masturbation techniques & bondage styles with our instructor Mr. ragu4u? Nothin much!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-11-17
The 1st two of you may leave for I fear you wish to harm me! The Black Man may stay!
*humpf*
*drat*
I can dig it!
I feel safe with you. Your aura is one of peace and tranqui....
S-T-O-P! "Hammer Time"... Sucka!!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-12-17
You wonder why most of my comics suck and show little or no imagination?
arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf,arf, arf, arf, arf, arf,arf, arf, arf, arf, arf,arf, arf, arf, arf, arf,arf, arf, arf, arf, arf,arf, arf, arf, arf, arf,arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf...
arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf,arf, arf, arf, arf, arf,arf, arf, arf, arf, arf,arf, arf, arf, arf, arf,arf, arf, arf, arf, arf,arf, arf, arf, arf, arf,arf, arf, arf, arf, ar, arf...
This is why!
A dogs gotta have his bone, ya know!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-12-17
The lawn STILL isn't cut! What's wrong NOW?
The mower won't start!
Start? Start WHAT?
That mower you gave me to use. It won't START!
And it NEVER will. It's a freakin "push" mower, dummy! Now stop crying and get to work! Time is money.
I'm going home, mister! I can live without your stinking 2 dollars anyway?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-12-17
Did I just hear right? You were only gonna give a kid $2 to mow the lawn?
Yeah...so?
$2.00? Really? With an ancient push mower?
Geez...you make it sound like I was cheating him!
Oh! So I guess your parents made YOU mow your grass with a pair of scissors for a nickle, huh?
No! Actually, they didn't let me out of the basement until I got drafted!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-12-17
The Wal-Mart Pre- Christmas Sale...
OK Wal-Mart Associates, let's "Let the Games Begin"!
Better unlock those doors Dave. The crowd is looking mean!
They always look pissed during these dog-days of August, sir!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-13-17
She actually asked you if the dress made her look fat? What did ya say?
What I wished I could say was..."Your FAT makes you look FAT"!
Uh.....don't look now but your wife just heard that!
I'm doomed!
Take THAT you sorry excuse for a husband!
Forgive me boss. It won't happen again!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-13-17
Hey babe, suck a dick?
What?
You heard me. Will you SUCK a DICK?
Here's what I WILL do!
Yeeeaaahhh You stinkin be-atch!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-13-17
Listen son, you have to learn how to handle employees!
Yes father.
Now walk out on that factory floor and can that fat headed moron!
As you wish, father.
But why? I don't even work here!
Beause you had the fattest head!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-14-17
Vote for Robert James Ritchie for Michigan Senator! Seniors love him!
Alright young man!
How bout you? Vote for Robert James Ritchie for Michigan Senator! Seniors love him!
Will YOU vote for Robert James Ritchie for Michigan Senator? Seniors love him!
I'm just a Junior but I'll vote for him, too. Just quit calling him THAT. Call him "Kid Rock", like everybody else!!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-14-17
"...do THIS and your complexion will be beautiful in days!"
Hey rags, you gotta hear this load of crap!
Some little hottie on TV claims that eating Sailors can clear up zits!
Really, d_bacon? Eating Sailors? That's what she said...exactly?
"Swallowing Seamen"! Same dif...right?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-15-17
9/11/2001 NYC 8:05am
It's flying kinda low, ain't it dad?
There must be trouble inside!
Alla hu akbar!
Islamabad 9/11/2001 6:05pm
"The World Trade Center has just been struck by a jetliner...."
World Trade Center? Ossama will be SO pissed! Damn that Muhammed Atta! He was told to hit FOX NEWS!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-15-17
That's it...now undress her with your eyes! I'll show you EVERYTHING!
Ooh baby...ooh baby!
I feel like I'm being watched!
The next day....
Good morning, Sister. Crotchless panties again today?
Excuse me?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-16-17
ragu4u is targeted.....
"Your computer has been taken over by hackers! Pay us $10,000 cash and we'll release your computer.
Oh shit!
...so off to the bank he went.....
Quick! I need $10,000.00 cash and I need it NOW! No excuses!
...but guess what?
Hey, I was only making a withdrawal!
That's what they ALL say!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-17-17
So Pops, what are you gonna do with George Romero?
What do you THINK? He's the reason Heaven and Hell are so underpopulated.
So you're sending him to a place WORSE than Hell?
Yes sir-ee, Sonny boy! I'm sending his Zombie arse directly to...
God! St. Louis, S-U-C-K-S!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-17-17
Hey Maura, guess what I've got here?
I'm sure you're gonna tell me. Right, my husband?
Yup. They're samples!
Samples, huh? From...?
Your sister. One is "Vagisil" & the other is "Preparation H"!
I warned her to lock her door!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-18-17
Look lady, this is a bank. I don't hire Manicurists & Pedicurists here!
Ah, so!
Call me an asshole again & I'll have ya arrested!
Ah, so!
Let me guess. You didn't get the job? So why kick MY ass?
You won't have me arrested!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-18-17
You can pay this ticket online if you wish! Points will be assessed.
I's rather not. How bout I pay it now?
Oh?
That's what that "C" note is for clipped to my license! So, you see, the ticket isn't needed!
But, alas......
Just my luck to get a speeding ticket from an "honest" cop! I thought they went extinct!
Keep talkin like THAT pal, and I think they might find a kilo of smack in yer trunk!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-19-17
What the...?
*Uhnnng*
*PLOP* Ahhhh, there now, all better!
That's one way to replace a divot!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-20-17
The Jefferson's move to "Whitesville"!
I'm going next door to introduce myself to the neighbor, dad!
Fine idea, son, but then get back to help your mom unpack.
Hi there, neighbor!
Ooooh! Is it true what they say about a black man's girth? Show me. I wanna see it!
So I did! How is THAT a crime? She asked to see it.
The crime wasn't showing it to her. The crime happened when it choked her, broke her jaw and knocked out 3 of her teeth!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-21-17
Well O.J. you're finally getting out!
I'm not gonna remember how to act.
I'm sure it'll come back to ya!
Later, at the local "Bass Pro Shop"......
So you want 3 machetes and a set of our largest Bowie Knives, correct? What's all this for?
If you MUST know...they're memory joggers!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-21-17
...and then he raped me!
You're a whore, lady! How does one "rape" a whore, exactly?
Well...he threw me into the back seat, tore off my clothes and violated every oriface I have...
Yeah? So what's unusual about THAT?
He didn't PAY me!
Aha! So it ain't a "rape"...it's a "robbery!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-22-17
I'm sorry ma'am, but we frown on patrons having sex on the bar!
But I was being RAPED!
I've got my trusty bottle of "Cum-Clean"! ANOTHER rape, I suppose?
So it appears and I don't know why!
These slimy little things make me horny as a hoot-owl!
What else does the boss expect to happen, at an "Oyster Bar"?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-22-17
Calm down, you two.
No way can this happen!
We've been screwed over once already! We demand justice!
So I hear that Ron & Nicole are really PISSED about the parole!
Oy vey! Tell me about it!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-23-17
Trump & one of his many strategists.....
Is it true? McCain has brain cancer?
I'm afraid so, Mr. President!
Drat! Somes guys get ALL the luck!
Excuse me sir, but brain cancer is a death sentence.
It's also a great excuse for making "stupid" decisions!
Aha! Now I see what you mean, sir! What say we get a quick MRI of YOUR brain!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-24-17
Holly & ragu4u play Charades...
What "occupation" are they acting out?
CORRECT! "Dope Pusher" it is!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-24-17
It's about ME!
No! It's about ME!
NO! It's about ME!
No! It's about ME!!!
"Sharing" is always an issue with an "only child"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-24-17
Jon didn't know the gay bar was "S&M"
Uh...interesting haircut, fella! Do it yourself?
Actually, I stuck my head under a power mower!
And...uh...why on earth would you do THAT?
Because, if you MUST know, it was out of necessity! I glued my hands to the armpits of my long underware!
Of course! How silly of me! I'll just be going now.
You're not leaving, are you? The drawing is in 5 minutes! The winner gets to put his cock in a blender!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-24-17
Say your prayers, deer!
Dear God, in your wisdom & mercy allow this man to....
Wow! They just left! I wonder what he prayed for?
For the hunter to go "Vegan"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-25-17
At the home of ragu/d_bacon......
Oh my God! It's finally happened! Rags.....get in here and PINCH me!
Not on yer life, pork chop! I told ya to stop watching that "Brokeback Mountain" crap!
No reallly! I must be dreaming. I actually WON a comic contest!

 

CC 672 is open for business!
Like Bill Clinton used to say..."ya'll Cum"!
by Makin_d_bacon, 7-25-17

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-25-17
Why are you down here?
Did you just hatch or something? There are thousands of us down here hiding.
Hiding? Really? From who?
Tuna fisherman..who else? I gotta go!
But he's a....
A chicken of the sea! Capisce?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-26-17
*knock, knock*
Vhat? Not AGAIN?
Get outta here before I spray you vit "Round-UP"!
Meshugganah, Christians!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-26-17
*beep-beep*
It's HIM!
I just don't care anymore. I'm leaving!
:( *sniff*

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-26-17
...you can't hide; and the...
As your lawyer I must tell you the mob sent a letter saying you'll soon sleep with the fishes!
Really? Then I'll go where there ARE no fishes...like Antarctica!
... ice in Antarctica is only so thick!
Them WOPS are relentless!
Poor guy must be dead! If he'd move a little he wouldn't stiffen up like that!

Showing page 16.

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