All comics by RandomComicLayoutGuy

Profile

 

Did you hear what happened to me yesterday? My car got stolen!
That sucks! Did the police get it back for you, yet?
Not yet. But, I suspect they'll be able to nab the thief real soon...
Why? Did you get a good look at who stole it?
No. But, I got the license plate number as my car pulled away from the curb!
From the mouth of blondes!

 

I'm sooooo sorry!
Why don't you watch where you're going with that knife, doofus?!
It was an accident! I swear to GOD!
Likely story!
I really didn't mean to slit your blouse.
Now, I got to walk around with everyone staring at my tits! Golly gee!

 

I just love spending time in this graveyard at night!
It's so quiet here that I'm able to be alone with my thoughts...
"OH MY GOD! IS THAT ABE VIGODA STANDING OVER THERE?! I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS STILL ALIVE! MAYBE, HE TURNED INTO A ZOMBIE! RUN!!
*sigh*

 

Dude... What the @%#$ are you doing?
I'm cutting prices, just like you told me to!
With an AXE?
Yeah? So?
Well... Just keep that thing away from my neck!
RELAX!

 

Okay...
No.

 

The furthering adventures of "Blind Cop Justice"...
*gasp*
I'm writing you a ticket for being drunk in public?
Drunk in public? Can't you SEE I've been mugged?!
No. But if you hum a few bars, I'll fake it!
That made NO sense!
Neither does a BLIND COP!

 

Ow! Ow! Ow!
What's wrong, young man?
I was just standing here, minding my own business, and some dikey peace-activist kicked me in my NUTS!!
What did you say to upset her?
NOTHING! She asked me how I felt about BUSH, and I said that I like to get it when I can.
Well... If, you ask me, I love DICK!

 

He lied about Iraq. He lied about Enron. He, um, lied about...
He lied... He, er, lied... He, uh... He...
?!?
Um, I'm having a HARD time concen-trating with those two ZEPPELINS staring at me! Can I just give 'em a good squeeze and continue?
Gee whiz! Only if you must!

 

So... Who did YOU vote for in the last election?
Well..?
Get a CLUE, bonehead!

 

Hey, Pinky...
Hey, Red... Whatcha doing?
I'm updating my blog on MySpace...
Cool. How much longer will you be?
Not too much longer...
Well, hurry up and come to bed. I'm feeling really HORNY!

 

Harro! My name is Wong Wei...
buk buk buk buk buk buk buk buk
I come from BangCOCK!
Hey!
So solly!
Buh-GOOK!

 

♫ Oh baby, baby! The way you generate your gravitons makes my rotor turbines ache! Yeah! ♫
Ha, ha!
What the fuck are you ROCKING about?

 

Hey, pops! Where you going?
OFF TO WORK, SON!
What's with the bunnysuit?
EVERYDAY, WE LUMBERJACKS ARE ATTACKED BY WACKO ENVIRON-MENTALISTS! SO, I FIGURE IF I LOOK LIKE A BIG, CUDDLY RABBIT, THEY'LL LEAVE ME ALONE!
Good luck with THAT, daddy-o!
THANKS, SON!!

 

I'd like a double cheesburger with bacon...
♫ He wants a double cheese- burger with bacon! Woah, woah! ♫
And, a large Diet Coke with curly fries...
♫ And, a large Diet Coke with curly fries! Woah, woooaaaah! ♫
Why don't you put down the guitar, and ring up my FUCKING ORDER!!
♫ Why don't I put down my guitar, and ring up his FUCKING ORDER! WHOAH, FUCKING WHOOOAAAHH!! ♫

 

I can seat you out on the patio...
...or next to the SALAD BAR.
Which do you prefer?
Take a wild, fucking guess!

 

...and I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I, will always love yoooooooooouuuuu!!
What are you doing?
Singing! Can't you tell?
No... You don't have those musical note symbols in your dialogue text like other comics in Stripcreator!
Well... If I knew how the FUCK to insert them, I FUCKING WOULD HAVE!!

 

♫ Chicka... ♫
♫ Chicka... ♫
♫ Don't you just love it? Chicka... ♫

 

♫ Every bunny... ♫
♫ ...loves some bunny... ♫
No matter how much encouragement Henrietta tries to give Clarence, she cannot ease the pain he feels from being a 55 year-old virgin...
♫ ...some times! ♫
*sigh*

 

♫ It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's comprise that moves us along... ♫
♫ My hear is full, and my door's always open. You come any time you want... ♫
♫ And, she will be loved! And, she will be loved... ♫
I love it when he sings "Maroon 5" songs to me!

 

You're a member of "Fight Club"?
Yes.
You have no arms!
No shit, Sherlock!
Uh... How are you going to fight? What's your strategy?
First, I'll poke him in the eyes with my nose. Then, I'll bitch-slap him with my scarf!

 

♫ I'd like to be, under the sea... ♫
♫ ...in an octopuss' garden with thee! ♫
I'm [glub, glub] married!
?

 

♫ I'm in the mood for love! ♫
♫ Simply, because you're near me! Funny, but when you're near me... ♫
♫ ...I'm in the mood for love! ♫
Tempting! Have you had your shots?

 

Write this down, Fred...
Right!
♫ I'm too sexy for my shirt! Too sexy for my shirt! Soooo sexy it... It... ♫ Damn! What rhymes with "shirt", Fred?
"Hurts"...
Good one, Fred!
Right!

 

♫ If, ya think I'm sexy... ♫
Yay!
♫ ...and, you want my body... ♫
YAY-YAY!!
♫ Come on, baby, let me know! ♫
Uh... Are those things on, or am I wasting my time?

 

♫ What's new, pussycat? ♫
♫ Whooooaaah whoah whooooahhhhh!! ♫
♫ What's new, pussycat? ♫
I gave your mother a "dirty Sanchez" last night!

 

♫ It's been a long time since I rock-n-ROLLED... ♫
♫ It's been a long time since I had some HOLE... ♫
♫ It's been a long time, been a long time, been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, LONELY TIME!!! ♫
Why are you [GULP] telling ME?

 

Shhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I can't believe I let this guy drag me with him to the North Pole!
SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Dude...You have GOT to get over your obsession with NOISE!
What obsession?
THERE'S NOBODY ELSE UP HERE, GODDAMMIT!!

 

♫ Oh, me so HORNY... ♫
♫ Oh, me so HORNY... ♫
♫ Oh, me so HORNY... Me love you LONG TIME! ♫
WU-TANG!!

 

♫ And, I will walk five hundred miles... ♫
♫ And, I will walk five hundred more... ♫
♫ I'm your turbo LOVER! ♫

 

Dude... What do you think of the current comic contest?
So far, so good... What about you?
There are some really funny comics in it. But, I'm surprised that no one has yet made Michael Jackson reference!
Why do you think that is?
How-the-fuck-would-I-know? (Hee, hee, heeee!)
♫ Beat it! ♫

 

...AAAAAAAAAAAAA...
...so, I asked Pokey if he had experience diving into a pool, and he said, "Yes!" That's why I gave him a tryout...
...AAAAAAAAAAAAA...
But, on his very first attempt off the ten meter board, he belly-flopped, went straight to the bottom and drowned! I'm so sorry, Gumby!
...AAAAAAAAAAAAA...
Dude... Are you screaming in agony, or singing the opening to Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song"?

 

Woah...
The room's swirling like a MOTHERFUCKER!
I think I need to lay off the CAT NIP!

 

♫ It's a terror of knowing [arrgghh!] what this world is about... ♫
♫ ...watching some good friends scream, "LET ME OUT!" ♫
♫ That's why it's such an old-fashioned life [arrrgghhh!] and love dares you to care for [arrrrghh!] the people on the edge of our [arrrggh!] lives... ♫
♫ This is our LAST CHANCE... This is OURSELVES... Under pressure! ♫
"...your harmony SUCKED, and you have NO stage presence! Plus, what was with all those "arrgghhs"?! GET THE FUCK OFF MY STAGE, LOSERS!!"
UP YOURS, SIMON!ARRRRGGHH!!
My ONE shot at "Idol", and they team me up with Petey the Pirate! SON-OF-A-BITCH!!

 

NIGGER!
Whaaaaaaaat?
When did former U.S. Ambassador Andrew Young become a racist?

 

HELP!
Beatles, song and film, circa 1965...
CATCH ME NOW, I'M FALLING!!
80's pop song performed by "Pretty Poison"...
DON'T LET ME DOWN, ASSHOLE!!!
ELO's biggest all-time hit off of their "Discovery" album, although I don't think the word "asshole" shows up in the title...

 

Oops! I think a sucked that guy's blood WAY too fast!
Ah, shit! Here it comes...
BRAIN FREEZE!!
Wh-wh-what j-j-just h-h-happened?

 

♫ ...oh, father, please, you know you're still number one... ♫
♫ ...and girls just wanna have fun! ♫
Damn... I never should have let my girlfriend talk me into buying that Cyndi Lauper ringtone!
♫ Yes, girls just wanna have FUN! ♫

 

...so, I says, "Take my cow, Bossie... PLEASE!" hahahahahaha
[cricket noises]
Hello? I know you're out there 'cuz I can smell you qweefing!
"WE CAN'T HEAR YOU! YOU NEED TO LOWER THE MIKE, DIPSHIT!!"
Oh...

 

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Damn!
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
I can't get the theme song from "St. Elmo's Fire" outta my head!

 

Hey, mistah! How much for cat?
He's not for sale...
Aw, c'mon! I pay you top dollah!
I said, he's not for sale! Why don't you go down to the animal shelter and adopt one there if you want a pet!
Me no want PET! Me want to EAT PUSSY!
Well, okay then... (This I gotta see!)

 

Hey, dad!
Come check out this weird, feet-for-ears fish-thingy in the aquarium over here...
Wanna [glub, glub] screw?
DAD!!

 

Yeeee-OUCH!
Something just reached up and gave my nuts a major SQUEEZE!!
WHAT THE FUCK!!!
Ha, ha!

 

Moo!
Cluck, cluck, cluckity-cluck!
Mooooo!
Cluckity-CLUCK!
(A typical "cock and bull" session...)
MOOOOOOO!!
CLUCKITY-CLUUUUUUUUCK!!!

 

♫ Can anybody... ♫
♫ ...find me... ♫
♫ ...somebody to LOVE! ♫
Dude... You're a fucking PUMPKIN!

 

Hey, all you strippers out there thinking about using me in another one of your lame-ass vari-ations of "Cowboy Physics"...
Why don't you take your rotor-turbine generated gravitons, and shove them up your ASSES!!
Speaking of shoving things up asses... Have you all seen "Brokeback Mountain" yet?

 

♫ Oh, Pete... ♫
Yes, Maura?
Do you love me?
Of course, I love you ! I'll love you 'til the end of the world...
:-x
...which should be upon us within the hour!

 

♫
Hey, Melty...
Yes?
What in the wide world of PUSSY-FARTS are you doing?
Just chillin', baby!
Well, do you mind CHILLIN' onshore? You're making the water FREEZING!!

 

Is there something you wanna tell me, son?
What do you mean, dad?
I just got a call from your principal, and he told me that you and your teacher, Mrs. Pennynipple, have been meeting after class, and "caressing crotches", if you know what I mean...
"Crashing crotches" is probably a better description... Are you mad at me?
Hell NO, son! I'm actually PROUD of you! By the way... You think she'd let me join you guys in a "three-way"?
I don't see why not... We've already had one with mom last tuesday!

 

The best little whore-mine in Pennsylvania...
Pick me!
Pick me!
Pick me!
Pick me!
Pick me!
Pick me!

 

Oh, my fucking...
...HEAD!
Dude... That is the EXACTLY why I don't use nail guns!
*gasp*

Showing page 17.

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