All comics by ObiJo

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by ObiJo
7-18-02
And the response to this?
Again, overwhelming. The fan mail ranged from tearful joy at Donkey Boy's resurrection to heartfelt guilt over slaughtering my children.
I heard there was even talk about a real Genesis planet that would bring your loved ones back.
Turned out to be a hoax, though.
That's too bad.
I'll say.

 

by ObiJo
7-18-02
Times were good. You and Donkey Boy were on the cover of every magazine, the guest on every talk show, and the toast of Follywood.
And things were about to get better.
You broke away from the heretofor winning Donkey Boy template and wrote Donkey Boy and the Case of the Inappropriate Touching!
It wasn't an easy decision, but it was the right one. I stayed true to my wants.
And were rewarded with not only Donkey Boy's first Lemming nomination, but its first win! Roll clip, Alex!

 

by ObiJo
7-18-02
http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?author=ObiJo&ID=77167

 

by ObiJo
7-18-02
Your next two offerings centered around Donkey Boy's attempted jailbreaks. The first one, Donkey Boy in "Failed Jailbreak"! caught audiences completely off guard. And they loved you for it!
Indeed. I read more than one tongue-in-cheek letter saying "Don't make me kill the remnants of your family." I pictured them comically shaking their fist at me and I just had to chuckle.
The next, Donkey Boy in "Successful Jailbreak"! was an exceptional film with a rich plot, and most thought it to be the logical stopping point for the series.
No one ever accused me of being logical.
Only brilliant! Roll clip, Alex!

 

by ObiJo
7-18-02
http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?author=ObiJo&ID=77170

 

by ObiJo
7-18-02
And so Donkey Boy again finds himself in jail. Were you considereing this a stopping point.
Not for a minute. I wanted to do one more that said to the audience, "Sure, he's in jail, but he's happy, see? And so am I. I've remarried and started a new family. Please spare them."
And did your message reach them?
Nope. All dead.
Still, what a finale! Roll clip, Alex!

 

by ObiJo
7-18-02
http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?author=ObiJo&ID=77171

 

by ObiJo
7-18-02
We've come to that point in the show.
The questions?
The questions. What is your least favorite word?
Donkey.
GASPS
WHY?
That word got my family killed.

 

by ObiJo
7-18-02
What is your favorite word?
Family.
What turns you off?
Murderers of my family.
What turns you on?
Those who make a conscious effort to not murder my family.

 

by ObiJo
7-18-02
What sound do you hate?
Help they're hurting me please make them stop it hurts oh god how it hurts.
Not too fond of that one?
Nope.
What sound do you love?
Boing.

 

by ObiJo
7-18-02
What is your favorite curse word?
Motherfuckers. As in "Motherfuckers keep killing my family."
What profession, other than yours, would you like to attempt?
Body guard.
What profession would you not like to participate in?
Assassin.

 

by ObiJo
7-18-02
And lastly, if heaven exists, what would you like God to say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
You died of natural causes.
APPLAUSE
The one...the only...obijo everybody!
APPLAUSE
Could I get you to walk me to my car?

 

by ObiJo
7-18-02
Questions? Yes, you in the front.
Hi, my name's Peter Gamarkes and I'm majoring in film direction. I was wondering, do you miss your nana? Cause I'm the one who killed her.
Very much. The young lady in the back.

 

by ObiJo
7-18-02
When you were writing The Death of Donkey Boy, did you realize like with every flick of the pencil your daughter was getting like one step closer to me sticking a letter opener in her?
Hadn't a clue. Older gentleman in the fourth row.

 

by ObiJo
7-18-02
You know how you made us fall in love with Donkey Boy only to kill him?And then how you resurrected him, making us fall in love with him all over again, only to incarcerate him?Ya, I didn't like that.
Duly noted.

 

by ObiJo
7-18-02
Anyone else have a question?
Ooo Ooo!

 

by ObiJo
7-18-02
On second thought, that's about all the time we have for questions.
Furthermore,

 

by ObiJo
7-19-02
Nothing funny about that people.

 

by ObiJo
7-19-02
Hi, boorite!

 

by ObiJo
7-19-02

 

by ObiJo
7-19-02
I don't want to make out with a guy! KISS KISS KISS SMOOCH
Me either! LICK NIBBLE KISS TOUCH PROBE

 

by ObiJo
7-19-02
Seen Spiderman yet?
I went all by myself.
I've got 3 nuts for you, little elephant.
Beat it, or I'll bite your ankles.
Then the squirrel pulled a terminator on gabe's ass and drove his Nova through his front window.
Doh!

 

by ObiJo
7-20-02
So I says to the transmogrificator, "1000111 111000 1100!"
101 101!
0011 110010 001?

 

by ObiJo
7-20-02
DING DONG
Whos's there-air?
De-eth.
We're all stocked up, but thanks.
I told him we're all stocked up!
hee hee!

 

by ObiJo
7-20-02
Captain, receiving subspace communication.
On screen.
Captain! It's the butt waggers!
*wag wag*
36 minutes later...
Why does the wag continue, oh Lord! Was the sacrifice of the moor woman displeasing to you?

 

by ObiJo
7-20-02
*wag wag*
*wag wag*
*wag wag*
*wag wag*
*wag WAG wag*
Gesunheit.

 

by ObiJo
7-21-02
Zut alors! You killed Pierre! My brother! My twin! My life!
Yup.
At least spare me so I can carry on the BrrCHUHlaCHUHraCHUH family name.
You're in luck, Cecil. The EPA only lets me burn one frenchy a month. So you can live, but must become my stinky french sidekick.
I agree, but prefer to be called Pierre Deux, in memory of my brother.
Gotta go with a negatory on that one, Cees. Now spritz me.

 

by ObiJo
7-21-02
DING DONG
Well aren't you a scary monster! Now here's one for you, and one for your stinky foreign friend.
SLAM
Tootsie Rolls?
She lives.

 

by ObiJo
7-22-02
Speak, Poochly!
Yip Yip Yip Yip!
Good boy! Now play dead!
Thash a good Poochly Woochly!
Yip yip! *pant pant pant*

 

by ObiJo
7-22-02
There it is everyone! Let's kill that abomination!
You think he means us?

 

by ObiJo
7-22-02
There it is everyone! Let's kill that abomination!
You think he means us?

 

by ObiJo
7-22-02
Mr. President, your approval rating is dropping faster than the towers.
Well GOLLY.
I agree, Mr. President. It's definitely due to our inability to get Bin Laden.
Well GOLLY.
Good idea, Mr. President! I think that's just the person to bring Bin Laden down!
Well GOLLY.

 

by ObiJo
7-22-02
Xaxor, wash between my toes.
It will be so, Queen Mother.
It will be so, Queen Mother.
It will be so, Queen Mother.
Fuck no.

 

by ObiJo
7-22-02
Bin laden?
You know someone else with this many loads of crap?
A talking dradle walks into a barbershop and says, "Just take a little off the top."
HAHA!
Did you hear that? What was that?
That was the sound of laughter, funny man! Honor me with more of thy funny man wit!

 

by ObiJo
7-22-02
Okay, here's the deal, bin baby. I'm death. You're about to die.
But I'm too young to die! I have things to destroy, people to kill.
Well, there is one other option.
Anything!
Who's next on the list, Cecil?
A Mr. Poochly Woochly.

 

by ObiJo
7-22-02
Okay, here's the deal, bin baby. I'm death, and you? You're about to die.
But I'm too young to die! I have things to C-4, people to do.
Well, there is one other option.
Anything!
Who's next on the list, Cecil?
A Mr. Poochly Woochly.

 

by ObiJo
7-22-02
Do you have the time on you?
On my fucking back, Jack!
Come again?
Time is an anchor, kid, weighing us down. Time as you think of it doesn't exist. The true time doesn't move! The true time is singular, baby!
That's great. Now you got the untrue time or not?
The untrue time is 4:43, but my untrue Rolex's a little slow.

 

by ObiJo
7-22-02
The universe contains both black holes that suck in matter, and white holes, which expel it.
All God does is eat and shit.

 

by ObiJo
7-22-02
First you kill stinky and now you're bringing in a cop character? Jesus.
blah blah blah cop talk blah blah
witty rejoinder
As a reminder of who's the boss of this series, he burns.
Who the fuck did that?
Also, I'm resurrecting Stinky and making death a squirrel. Deal with it.
ALIVE!
What the hell's going on!

 

by ObiJo
7-22-02
Lame Ass? Unfucking believable.
Your the one who decided on this whole stupid deathh thing in the first place.
I didnt want to do some LAME ASS storry about death. I wanted to do a story about killert kangaroos.
But NO NO NO. You up and decide the foundation of the series withot even asking me. And you callme the lame ass??
RIGHTk. I'M the lameass. MMhmm, yeah, okay.
Dickhead.

 

by ObiJo
7-22-02
Hi everyone! I'm Scyess. I'm a pseudo-intellect who smells like the very essence of ass.
Also, sometimes I stick my tiny dick in burrowing animals.
They dont mind unless they happen to turn around and SEE me doing it. God knows they can't FEEL me doing it.
I blame my EXTERME LAME ASS-OSITY on a combination of inbreeding and blunt head trauma brought on by my mother beating me with a bat in my formative years.
Contrary to popular belief, she didn't beat me ugly. That was a pre-existing condition.
Did I mention my tiny dick?

 

by ObiJo
7-22-02
Scyess, baby, I'm sorry.
Really, Scyess, I know I get worked up sometimes, and lash out at you, but you know that's just because I love you.
Scyess, I can't live without you and the series. Come back to me baby, and let's at least get Death one more kill.

 

by ObiJo
7-22-02
So how'd you like the series?
Any series that leads to a restraining order is okay in my book. But
But what?
I was just getting to that. But sometimes I stay awake at night wondering what if.
What if?
What if I'd made Poochly the christ figure.

 

by ObiJo
7-22-02
Nice cat.
Pussy.
Nice pussy.
Cat.
Nice pussycat.
Kiss me, you fool.

 

by ObiJo
7-23-02
My invention works!
What did you invent?
I'm a talking donkey. Figure it out, zippy.

 

by ObiJo
7-23-02
28 tests, all successful.
Yep, I'd say it's time to announce my Climate Controller to the Sqworld.
SUCK
SUCK
SUCK
SUCK

 

by ObiJo
7-23-02
I've created the world's first squirrel condom!
That's great, but who do you expect to sell it to? There's not many of us left since the Great Squirrel Hunt of 2318.
DING DONG
Answer the door and find your answer.

 

by ObiJo
7-23-02
I am a machine. I have no heart. I do what must be done without a conscience. Do not be fooled by my supple exterior. It is a guise.
I am a sword. I cut through the lies. I inviscerate the dishonest with my sharp point of bluntness.
Now you will see.
Now you will see.
Well?
I thought we were using symbolism.

 

by ObiJo
7-24-02
Hey, DexX? Let me ask you something. I'm thinking about changing my avatar, but am a little worried the reader will get confused. Should I do it?
I say go for it! If it feels good, do it!
Thanks, DexX! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to make out with your wife.
Two can play at that game!
Ya, enjoy the legos.

 

by ObiJo
7-24-02
Do you have the time on...my goodness! I dreamt about you last night.
Really? Do tell.
We were standing here talking when a bus suddenly jumped that curb behind you and ran you down.
Well history's about to change.
*lifts wallet*
Spending history.

Showing page 18.

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