All comics by Alexandra

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by Alexandra
3-05-03
Hey You! Your dad had sex with me last night!
Ya you dipshit! I rode your papa all night long! He pounded me like a stallion!
Mom, thats the most fucking disgusting thing you've ever said to me in my entire life.

 

by Alexandra
3-05-03
Just sign on the dotted line and we have a deal little missy!
Just sign right there. Its the blank space. where it says "sign here".
SIGN THE FUCKING PAPER GOD FUCKING DAMNIT SIGN ON THE PAPER BEFORE I RIP OFF YOUR KNEECAPS AND CRUSH YOUR RECTUM WITH THEM YOU LITTLE INSOLENT SHIT!
When do I get paid?

 

by Alexandra
3-05-03
Well I'm having nice time. Are you?
sure.
Isn't the ocean romantic?
Yeah I guess.
I really enjoy spending time with you.
Thanks.

 

by Alexandra
3-05-03
So I guess this is it. Well I had a nice time.
ya....um...me too.
So...Ya...
Right.
Can I come in?
Please get as far away from me as is humanly possible before I grab something heavy and bludgeon you to death with it.

 

by Alexandra
3-08-03
Hi! Do you know a place where I could buy a pack of advil?
Sure, theres a drug store right down the street.
Thanks man, this headache is horrible.
NP, but before you go can I ask you something?
Shoot.
Are you one of them dirty Gooks?

 

by Alexandra
3-08-03
Grrr. War!
Grr. No war!
War is good!
War is bad!
Lol, jk I'm a donkey.
Love me?

 

by Alexandra
3-08-03
Its Spring break!
Yaaaaaaayyyyy!
fuck

 

by Alexandra
3-08-03
Why good day there. And what might you be doing?
You'll be comin with me now for the illegal possesion of my wife and daughter.
LOL!
LOL!
No, but I really am raping your wife and daughter.
I like your hat.

 

by Alexandra
3-08-03
Bannanna
Do you watch "Will and Grace"?
LOL!
I think its very bold and still funny. And thats why its such a good show. Yunno, cuz Will is gay and all.

 

by Alexandra
3-11-03
OMG Lib-lib IM'ed Alex!
Your a sick fuck
the "a sick fuck" is mine?
that isn't what you actually said in the conversation.
SILENCE! YOU ARE NOW A PHONE!
I wish this had actually happened.
Now don't talk to me again until you learn the difference between "your" and "you're".

 

by Alexandra
3-11-03
HMMMPPFF!!! O JESUS! GRRAA!!
HMMMPPFF!!! O JESUS! GRRAA!!
UUUGHHH!OO...OOHHH!! OOHHH GOD THERE ITS IS!!
UUUGHHH!OO...OOHHH!! OOHHH GOD THERE ITS IS!!
I love going potty in front of the mirror.
So do I.

 

by Alexandra
3-11-03
Why was I built without legs? All my life I've had the urge to dance.
Like a passion that somehow found its way into my concious line of thought. Be it in my programming or some kind of sentient destiny for me to grace the world with a glorious expression of my dance.
O, If only robots could cry.
Where are my ice cubes mother fucker?

 

by Alexandra
3-11-03
HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
I DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY LICKS IT TAKES. WE SHOULD GO GIVE PEOPLE LOLIPOPS AND SEE HOW MANY LICKS IT TAKES THEM.
THAT IS A VERY GOOD IDEA WHICH I COMPLETELY SUPPORT AND WILL ENDORSE BY PURCHASING A BAG OF LOLIPOPS FOR YOU TO DISTRIBUTE.
TODAY WILL INDEED BE GREAT FOR SCIENCE AS WE WILL FIND OUT HOW MANY LICKS IT TAKES TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP.
Wait, wait, wait. I'm confused. This is all sexual inuendo for us doing oral on eachother, right?
shhhhh! There are children watching this!

 

by Alexandra
3-12-03
ok...just...don't... move.
EIN VOLK, EIN REICH, EIN FUHRER!!
See "Yao Ming can't write a check"
I just left, I'm very hungry
I'm so sorry.

 

by Alexandra
3-12-03
Can I have my purse back?
Where am I? OMG are you an alien?!
Seriously, give me back my purse. I keep my license in there. why do you need my license? You can keep the money, just give me back my identification.
Are you going to ANAL PROBE me?!?!?!
Why are you doing this?
I have 3 months to live.

 

by Alexandra
3-13-03
OMG you sound JUST like Vanessa Carlton!
THNX! Shes a big inspiration to me!
~You light me up, and then I fall. For you~
~You lay me down, and then I call. For you!
Words CAN hurt.
Fag.

 

by Alexandra
3-14-03
OMG I did drugs and now I have to kill myself!
Don't let this happen to you.
OMFG I did drugs and now I'm in jail!
Drugs are illegal kids!
I don't do drugs and I'm perfectly happy and content!
Of course you are!

 

by Alexandra
3-14-03
You make me happy again when I'm feeling not happy.
LOL! why din't you just say "not feeling happy" instead of "feeling not happy"
Like a summer rain where water comes from the sky and makes plants have water again, you make me have water again.
Is that a good thing?
Hey god. This is asiangirl1.gif. Can you hear me?
No. LOL, jk. Burn in hell because I LOL! OMFG ROFLMAO OMG LOL I'M GOD!

 

by Alexandra
3-15-03
The darkness and inevitability of my fate as a danceless piece of metal doth sadden me so very greatly.
Smoke this flag.
The world is so beautiful. OMG I'm dancing!
JK. He died after he smoked it.
Robots are gay.

 

by Alexandra
3-15-03
My skin is smooth.
uh-oh! Its the cops! I'd better run!
LoL!
This is the funniest one yet!

 

by Alexandra
3-15-03
Why am I such an asshole? Do I think its funny or something? I really can't figure out why I have this urge to hurt people's feelings.
I always feel bad afterward. I don't like being mean. I conciously try to be nice to people because I hate it when I'm mean for no reason, and I didn't even see this about myself till just recently.
I'm not a mean guy. I don't even think I have the capacity for true hate, because it requires a degree of ignorance that I pride myself in not having.
Once I think about a person I can usually figure out why they are the way they are, and then I like them as a human being, because I see myself in them.
I told you asshole.
Ya, but its better than a fucking livejournal.

 

by Alexandra
3-15-03
Hi, my name is Amy. Click here for hot teen action.
WEHAT DOESA THE LETTER SAY ?
LOL GOOD ONE!
OMFG BTFOOMFBISDFF.
This last panel will upset people who were upset by "revenge of the losers". LOL I ZINGED EM' GOOD!
BTF...?
BEATING THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE BECAUSE ITS SO DAMN FUCKING STUPID.

 

by Alexandra
3-17-03
ExhibitA
hmmm. well this looks interesting. Hes feeding his baby. This situation could be frought with comedic gold.
ExhibitB
I especially like his facial expression. It just speaks to me.
ExhibitC
Hi guys. Anybody wanna have sex with a 3 month year old child?
O come ON! That was just COMPLETELY unoriginal. I give it a D MINUS!...and yes.

 

by Alexandra
3-18-03
Caption1
Its that time of the day again!
For you to complain about life and make some shitty no-talent poem?
Caption2
No. To pin you down to the floor and break your legs then peirce your flesh with rusty forks.
Nigger
I was kidding.
I'm going to shit in your mouth when you sleep tonight.

 

by Alexandra
3-18-03
apparently this hasn't been made clear enough to some poeple.
The creator of these comics is not held to any grammatical standard. He is far above your preconceived notions of "speeling" and ;correct word usage'
fuckers,

 

by Alexandra
3-18-03
Racist.

 

by Alexandra
3-19-03
Hey! I finished my latest poem!
Really? Is it about how good my shit tasted in your mouth last night?
Yes...
From now on this how I'll end every comic.
Do you think tonight you cou-
Hey, wait. Have you seen those commercials with the woman in a bikini? OMG!

 

by Alexandra
3-20-03
Why do you use racist words for people, but you don't make fun of white people?
Because white people don't give a flying fuck about racism towards them. Its the anger over something so trivial that makes it so funny.
~whistle~
What about how we always take everything people say literally, absolutely lack the ability to stop thinking about the stock market, can't dance, and have small penises?
Hey! Cmon now, thats just uncalled for! Because ITS ALL SO COMPLETELY TRUE.

 

by Alexandra
3-20-03
Look! They're getting along!
Cracker.
Yes please.
If two people with different skin tones aren't fighting in my comics then I must not be racist!!
Saltine, or a low sodium brand?
Saltine please.
Suprise! The black guy is just me wearing shoe polish! LOL! I guess it turns out I am racist then! ROFLMAO
Here ya go.
Thank you.

 

by Alexandra
3-20-03
Isn't this just like Dr.Suess?
I support the Death penalty. menalty.
Isn't this just like Dr.Suess?
Penis
Isn't this just like Dr.Suess?
Where is my turngobaly wobly condom Mengigo?
I lugadoed it on the Pengingo. Isn't that crumtaculeously pertugulin? I bathe in Semen.

 

by Alexandra
3-20-03
I'm going to leave this place because I find it disagreeable to my tastes.
Thats a shame. do come back if you decide you ever need help again.
Thank you so much for your hospitality.
O its no problem. Anytime.
See "Yao Ming can't write a check"
I just left. I'm very hungry.
I'm so sorry.

 

by Alexandra
3-22-03
I am killing myself.
I can see that.
And that concludes alexandra's magical comic special strip sepctacular.
Sure was exciting wasn't it John? >:
Lol! My name isnt john! :0
[punchline] lol. ;)

 

by Alexandra
3-24-03
Hi.
Hi, I'm here to confront you.
Is it true that you still cry a little bit whenever you pee?
Cunt.

 

by Alexandra
3-24-03
This is the part where its all like "OMG they're best friends, HTAT WUD NVR WORK! LOL!
Hi lindsey, take me to the prom, because I wanna sex you up.
LOL. I'm your best friend. You've seen me naked. Eww.
This is the part where its all like, "OMG HES SO COOL AND .LOL FUCK ME CUZ YOUR COOL! SAF SX IS ROFL!
Omg take me to the prom because I'm evil you ugly gross ugly girl.
OMG ok because OMG!
This is my own symbolic interpretation of the lyrics to "pull up to my bumper baby" by the incomprable Grace Jones.
Abstincence is when you forget to do your hw and flash the teacher.
I cut out my ovaries and carved "I must kill the devil into my ribcage" into my ribcage.

 

by Alexandra
3-24-03
SON OF A BITCH!

 

by Alexandra
3-24-03
YOU DIRTY MOTHER FUCKER!
I HAVE EMOTIONAL ISSUES
WHERE ARE MY MOTHER FUCKING BITCHES IN DA HIZZOUSE YOU FILTHY SON OF A FUCKING TITLESS ASSHOLE
I WAS SEXUALLY ABUSED BY MY FATHER AS A CHILD
I AM NOT A VIRGIN.
DON'T REMIND ME.

 

by Alexandra
3-24-03
HES LYING.
YOU CAN TELL BY THE CAPS LOCK.
IM SO ALONE...
PICK ME UP.

 

by Alexandra
3-24-03
HI AGAIN.
do you think typing in caps is funny or something?
What the hell is wrong with you? seriosly. Are you doing this for a reason, or is it just because you feel like something is missing from your life, namely A LIFE, and this will fill the hole?
YOU MISSPELLED SERIOUSLY. CUNT.
God, you are SUCH an idiot.

 

by Alexandra
3-25-03
I won the volleyball game for our school! You have to be my grilfriend now!
OMG! YOU woN! i'm gonna sex Yu Up!
LoL!
lOL!
Why were we made?
Well I was made to say, "nigger".

 

by Alexandra
3-25-03
Don't start drinkin till after 5 gentlemen.
He wae too yung ta' be drinkin yo.
I AM THE DEVIL!
O no, ma penas! Its on fire!

 

by Alexandra
3-25-03
I'm depressed.
Wanna sex me up?
On behalf of the Asio-American population we have created a petition which humbly requests these comics no longer include the phrase, "sex (pronoun) up"
So you aren't gonna sex me up?
God this is such a predicatable last frame.
ROFLMAO! He accidently made my dialogue in the narration box!

 

by Alexandra
3-26-03
This panel was pretty good.
Are you gay or something?
I messed up writing their words in this one. Interpret it as you will.
Cuz I am, and I think your shirt is sexy.
Lol. My shit?
This last panel is symbolic of something.

 

by Alexandra
3-26-03

 

by Alexandra
3-28-03
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say Ay; And I will take thy word: yet, if thou swear'st, Thou mayst prove false.
Lady, by yonder blessed moon I swear, That tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops,—
O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon, That monthly changes in her circled orb, Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.
What than shall I swear by?
My butthole.
LOL >:

 

by Alexandra
3-28-03
Do I like badmitton? DO I LIKE BADMITTON?!?
I, THE ABSOLUTE, UNCHALLENGED, UNDENIABLE CHAMPION OF BADMITTON!? WHEN BADMITTON WAS CREATED IT WAS FORMED AROUND THE IDOLIC WORSHIP OF MY VERY PLAYING FORM!
MY VERY BODY EXUDES THE ODOR, THE STENCH, THE ESSENCE!! OF BADMITTON!! I...AM...BADMITTON! AND BADMITTON IS I! GRAAAAAA!!
Yes, but did the holocaust really happen or not?

 

by Alexandra
3-28-03
I really honestly hope this doesn't go on any longer than maybe 5 comics. I hate the ones with me in it.
Because they aren't funny? Or because you don't like the idea of infusing yourself into your comics as a means of giving yourself a new medium of existence in order to shamelessly escape your own.
The first one.
I couldn't have asked for you to be a dumber fuck.

 

by Alexandra
3-28-03
Itsa' me! Mario!
Dats a spicy meat-a-ball!
I'm mad at you.
Moral of the story: Don't be a filthy virgin. Spawn young and be forever fertile.
Judas.

 

by Alexandra
3-28-03
As I write this, I am completely naked and there is milk spilt all over my chest all the way down to my thighs.
He isn't lying folks.
Trust me. From my point of view, this is all fucking hilarious.

 

by Alexandra
3-29-03
Well, I guess everythings still ok. I mean, as far as academics go, I'm far ahead of the game...and I only have to go to that hell school for a year...
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING TO?
Nobody is reading this, and even though you aren't seriously contemplating this, your writing this for no real purpose other than to confirm your own existence and self worth.
So you aren't gonna sex me up? LOL. I'm so damn good.
You're right. This series really shouldn't go beyond 5 comics.

 

by Alexandra
3-29-03
That title wasn't funny. I'm blind. And I've never been on a date.
I'll date you!
But you're a robot...
I thought you were blind...
Moral of the story: OMG that new foo fighters song fucking rocks!
I'm not speaking to you.

Showing page 2.

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