All comics by Branddobbe

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by Branddobbe
10-08-04

 

by Branddobbe
10-08-04
Are you all right, miss?
I think so.
Is anyone else still alive?
I . . . I don't think so. Oh, god . . .

 

by Branddobbe
10-08-04
Where are we? Do you know?
I'm not sure . . .
I think the last I heard we were over Hungary.
That was hours ago. We must be farther north than that.
Yes, and farther west as well.
So where are we?

 

by Branddobbe
10-08-04
Austria, Czechoslovakia, maybe even East Germany.
Oh God, I hope it's Austria.
Yeah.
I don't want to be stuck in a Soviet country. I'd never survive.
We . . . we could look out for each other.
I think that's a good idea.

 

by Branddobbe
10-08-04
We might as well go that way.
OK.

 

by Branddobbe
10-08-04
Wow, this landscape sure is changing pretty quickly.
Yeah. What country are we in?
Oh my God!
Oh no! What's going on?
AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!
HAKA LO MENSTA VORSE DILAR NICVATA!!!

 

by Branddobbe
10-08-04
AAAAAAHHHHH!!!
VORSA!
No! Please! Oh God no!!!
HAKA LO MENSTA DONTIRVE VORSE!!!
AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
VORSA! MELI DANT SE VORSENI!!!!!

 

by Branddobbe
10-08-04
Das Land ist grau.
JA DAS STIMMT
Warum?
ICH WEISS NICHT
Ich habe Angst. Ich will wieder nach Hause gehen.
DEIN HAUS WURDE ZERSTÖREN UND DEINE FAMILIE IST GESTORBEN

 

by Branddobbe
10-14-04
I love walking in the park!
Yes.
Why did you take me to this clearing?
Oh . . .
AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
. . . no reason.

 

by Branddobbe
10-23-04
But I don't understand.
Most people don't. They've never experienced anything like it.
Well if that's the case, why don't you explain it to me?
I did, but you didn't understand.
Oh.
It's not like you've ever been in that position before. There's no way you could know what it's like.

 

by Branddobbe
10-23-04
Creating idols is a sin.
Murder is a sin.
Theft is a sin.
Incest is a sin.
Homosexual behavior is a sin.
Accepting bribes is a sin.

 

by Branddobbe
10-23-04
Richard Heisenberg died yesterday in a car accident.
How is this possible? I spoke to him an hour ago!
In person?
Yes! He was standing right in front of me, and we talked about how we don't like our jobs!
Did you touch him to be sure? Maybe he was a ghost.
We shook hands. I felt his hand. I know he was there.

 

by Branddobbe
10-24-04
What are you doing here? I thought you were dead.
I am.
I don't understand.
I'm not physically here. I'm communicating to you from hell.
Seriously? Why?
Please get me out of here. You have no idea how terrible it is.

 

by Branddobbe
12-05-04
WELCOME TO JACK'S JOLLY DINER
Waiter, my pie is covered with blood.
Yes, that's been a popular dish.
WELCOME TO JACK'S JOLLY DINER
I ordered a chocolate pie! This is disgusting!
We ran out of chocolate.
WELCOME TO JACK'S JOLLY DINER
Is . . . is this human blood?
Yes, we just got a huge shipment in on Tuesday.

 

by Branddobbe
2-15-05
Well, I agree with him. She was being unkind.
I think he deserved it after what he did.
Nothing deserves that. She was unnecessarily cruel.
I think her cruelty was quite necessary under the circumstances.
You cut off your dog's legs with a butter knife because it was scratching itself.
I fail to see the relevance.

 

by Branddobbe
2-25-05
I have murdered a man.
Why have you done this?
Out of curiosity about what it would feel like.
I too have tasted this bittersweet curiosity, and like you have acted upon it.

 

by Branddobbe
2-26-05
Hey baby.
mmmfnfffnmf
What a stroke of luck meeting such a beautiful lady in a place like this.
mmmfnfffnmf
You sure look good in that outfit.
mmmfnfffnmf

 

by Branddobbe
2-26-05
You know what I think, though?
mmmfnfffnmf
You'd look even better out of it.
mmmfnfffnmf
Come on, sweetcakes, what do you say?
mmmfnfffnmf

 

by Branddobbe
2-26-05
I think you and me could bring some . . . heh heh . . . life to this place.
mmmfnfffnmf
You seem like a quiet kind of lady. That's just the way I like 'em.
mmmfnfffnmf
Look, there's the perfect spot over there. It will be nice and soft, and no one will be able to see us.
mmmfnfffnmf

 

by Branddobbe
2-26-05
Say, are you all right?
mmmfnfffnmf
You seem — OH MERCIFUL CHRIST!
HAKA LO MENSTA VORSE DILAR NICVATA!!!
AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
VORSA!

 

by Branddobbe
3-04-05
I have triggered the destruction of the planet. It will occur shortly.
But why? We may have problems, but we also have so much with which to redeem ourselves.
I do not wish to continue living, and I decided that I wished for everyone else to die as well.
But that's—

 

by Branddobbe
7-16-05
Who are you? Where am I? How did I get here?
Why must you ask so many questions?
Look, I don't know what's going on, but this isn't funny. I want to go home.
AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
But you are home.

 

by Branddobbe
9-06-05
Howdy, stranger. Welcome to Camp Savage.
Howdy. I'm just passin' through.
We don't allow people to "just pass through". Once you've entered, you can never leave.
I reckon that an escape attempt will be punished by death?
That is correct, stranger.
Then it appears I have no choice but to remain here in Camp Savage for the rest of my days.

 

by Branddobbe
9-12-05
Welcome to the Camp Savage Saloon. Here we have everything you could ever hope to drink.
If no one can ever leave, how do all these drinks get delivered? Wouldn't the delivery men have to stay?
Our stocks are replenished under the new moon by the great god Dionysus.
Dionysus? He is a mythological being. He doesn't exist.
He sure does exist! I officiate his arrival ever four weeks, in the Ritual of the Eternally Damned.
I am at once terrified and fascinated.

 

by Branddobbe
9-26-05
This is the Field of the Damned, where Dionysus makes his monthly appearance.
When is the next Ritual of the Eternally Damned?
Tomorrow eve, under the light of the full moon.
What sort of preparations are necessary?
A virgin sacrifice.
What?

 

by Branddobbe
11-01-05
The virgin has been sacrificed. It is time.
What am I—
Hark! The great Dionysus approaches!
What? Where?

 

by Branddobbe
1-29-07
I finally understand.

 

by Branddobbe
2-03-07
Wow, we did it. He's actually dead.
I've never killed anyone before.
We should probably clean up the mess. It's evidence.
First I think we should study the scene, so that next time goes more smoothly.
Next time??
Well, I know I'd like to keep on doing this.

 

by Branddobbe
2-05-07
We have to think. We can't get off the island if we're not even sure how we got on it!
I think we were on a boat. Maybe it crashed.
I thought we were in a hotel, in Europe somewhere.
Oh, maybe we were.
Or was it a train?
Yes! A train! It must have derailed, fallen into the ocean, and drifted four thousand miles out to this island, and only the two of us survived.

 

by Branddobbe
6-08-08
This place is so beautiful! I wish this moment could last forever.
Look, I'm pretty sick of you. This relationship is over.
Oh, this dinner was so romantic. I love you so much!
I've been banging your sister for a year, and I've decided to leave you for her.
This ski trip was amazing! I know you'll never leave me.
Man, you got another thing coming.

 

by Branddobbe
6-08-08
And I just find myself thinking, this isn't how I expected my life to turn out, you know?
I know exactly how you feel. When I was in high school, I wanted to be a hunter.
I was going to go to hunting college, and then soon I'd be chasing triceratopses through the woods, having the time of my goddamn life.
Why didn't you go?
Well, Marilyn got pregnant, and I had to get this factory job to make ends meet, and now it's pretty much too late to go back to school.

 

by Branddobbe
4-05-10
Don't ever leave me, my love!
I must return to Earth.
If you leave me, I'll kill myself!
That is your right. I bid you adieu.
Alas! too late do I see the folly of my ways.

Showing page 2.

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