All comics by Commander_t

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by Commander_t
3-08-05
Man, I'm freaking bored!
Maan, Ii'mm freekeen burred!!
Man, I'm freaking bored! Captain Stupid, send me in some women!!

 

by Commander_t
3-08-05
If he'd only arrived two minutes earlier...
...
...stupid...
Maybe Stupid wouldn't have overrun the position...
...

 

by Commander_t
3-08-05
Hello, son. I've come to reclaim my throne.
What are you talking about?!
This is my throne. I've ruled this land for years. I was on a quest to Portoland and-
Are you a little crazy guy?! Portoland isn't even a country! This is Bubba's Gas-n-Go!!
Bubba's Gas-n-Go?! HA! I'd recognize my throne a mile away!
Dude, you're insane!!

 

by Commander_t
3-08-05
Take me to your leader!
It's me! Mr. President! ...CRAP!
Beam me up, Skippy!
Isn't it suppo- oh no!!!
Boss, I've got Mr. President!
Please, just don't give me an anal probe!!

 

by Commander_t
3-08-05
Please don't probe me! Please don't probe me!
I can read your mind, you know?
EEK!
Now, walk towards the Boss!
Don't look so surprised to see me Mr. President. After what you've put my through, I have to get revenge! My Man Area can't take much more of that!
It isn't my fault that the women you recruit all kicked you there!

 

by Commander_t
3-08-05
HA!! I live in the city!! Take that Nature!!

 

by Commander_t
3-08-05
Hay man! Wir da ya thin yer goin!
II'mm gooin baak too da Wiit Houzz. Noo, git ootta mi waa!
Hay man! I'mm suurree man! Lit mee bi yu ah drinnk!
Noo sur! II gotta staa fitt, da Capan saad soo.
All I evver wuntid wuz a frin.
Luuzer.

 

by Commander_t
3-08-05
Hello Mr. President.
AAHHHH!!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry to have sneaked up behind you Mr. President.
Well, my security force hasn't been up to par lately...
You're right Mr. President! I can't see how he sleeps with his eyes open! I can only think that it was some sort of military training!
*snore*

 

by Commander_t
3-10-05
Wuu...? Wir em Ii?
You're in a place that isn't very nice.
Wuu!?! Who er yu?!
It doesn't matter who I am, we've got to find a way out of here.
HA! That show was some crap, wasn't it?!
...erm, yeah, uh, pure crap. Hey, do you think you can keep quiet about this my Swedish Meatball?

 

by Commander_t
3-12-05
I just can't take my line of work anymore. At least, not under your command.
So, what you're saying is, I'm too difficult to work with? Even though its you that gets kicked so often?
Uh, yeah?
Hmmm... Maybe you should consider another line of work?
Later...
Hi! I'm a leprechaun!!
Can you fix me before I have to eat your brains?

 

by Commander_t
3-12-05
Mr. President was safe once more...
I've seriously got to get better security! I'll have to talk to that Captain Guy.
Mr. President decided to pay a little visit to the Captain...
Wo!
Hey! Are you the Captain?!
Mr. President found he was surrounded by retards...
Ya, Ii'mm da Capan, wut yi wint?
HOLY GOD!!! I'M SURROUNDED BY RETARDS!!!

 

by Commander_t
3-12-05
So, Mr. President started back to the White House...
Man, nature sucks! We should get somebody to build office buildings in here or something!
AHH!! Mr. Head-of-Evil-Corporation! What are you doing here?!
Well Mr. President, I thought you'd never ask! I want to pitch to you my thoughts about this plot of useless trees...
Later...
Man, this is awesome!! I get a building of my own, and a few Swedish Meatballs on the side! Thanks Mr. Head-of-Evil-Corporation!
No problem Mr. President!

 

by Commander_t
3-12-05
Hey guy, wanna buy some insurance? Dirt cheap!!
Hey man! This is my turf!!
I don't see your name on it.
I don't see your name on it either.
Make my second, punk!
*gulp*

 

by Commander_t
3-12-05
Who are you?
I'm a happy ghost!
Is your name Casper?
Naw, my name is Satan.
That's a weird name. Where'd you get it from?
I got it from my grandpa. He's an angry man. Like this, see?

 

by Commander_t
3-12-05
GET ON THAT PHONE!!
GIVE US YOUR MONEY!!
GET ON THAT PHONE!!
GIVE US YOUR MONEY!!
Can't you think of anything else to say?
No. But as long as we can still get people to call in...

 

by Commander_t
3-12-05
I think I'm having trouble learning, Mr. Bhabbaghounoush.
HA! I'm the smartest person alive!
What's two plus two?
Uh, Abraham Lincoln?
See?
Do you know what two plus two is?

 

by Commander_t
3-12-05
Here it is Mr. President! Your new body double!
ECH!! It looks hideous!!
No, no Mr. President! This is D. Levi Santa, the world's greatest male supermodel!
*sob*

 

by Commander_t
3-12-05
Wut iiz goinn onn heer? Waa iiz al mi cuzenz heer?
Grandma's grandson, Army Guy died in a freak accident.
WUT?! Ii'mm aliiv en weel!
It must be hard for you. Army Guy... he was a nice man. He- *sob*
I noo yu! Yiir mi exx girrlfren! Ittz mi, Army Guy!! Eh, thit Gud guuy hez anither thin commin! Wint hev ene strinth fer hiimselff.
No, he's dead, and now I'm a nun. Only God can give me strength now.

 

by Commander_t
3-13-05
Hey! You're not funny!
*sniffle*
Hey! You're not funny!
Argh....
HAHAHA!!! THAT'S FREAKING FUNNY!!!!!!

 

by Commander_t
3-13-05
At a prominent Sports Research Facility...
Yes, folks! Some of the worlds greatest athletes have come though these doors. Due to certain agreements I can't name names. But, they're all greats.
Ah! Here's one now. Treatment is done within fifteen minutes. Quick and minimal amounts of pain!
*ROAR*
SWEET GOD!! WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU MARK?!

 

by Commander_t
3-13-05
One day...
No! Its over here!
No! The Burger King is this way!!
Fine, but I don't like it!
Yes!! He will show us many secrets!!!
It was going to be a long day of selling Whoppers...
Hello. May I take your order?
Yes, oh master!! Bestow upon me your many great secrets!!

 

by Commander_t
3-14-05
Apparently, Neanderthal Man was still alive...
err... arr.. urr...
Apparently, he wants us to follow him...
err... arr.. urr...
Apparently, this really wasn't a Neanderthal Man...
Welcome to Depressing Burger! May I take your order?
err... arr.. urr... uh, I need a Depressing #1 Meal to go please.

 

by Commander_t
3-14-05
So, Amish, when are you going to post something not fast food or religion related? And what about something that makes sense along the way too?
Uh, whatever. I make what I want.
Even if its pure crap? Even if it drives hundreds of small children retarded just by reading it?
The way I see it, if the parents don't want their kids to be reading stupid stuff, they'll steer them well clear of the internet.
But you've just doomed yourself to nothingness.
Maybe, but at least I got a kick out of driving those kids in Grand Rapids retarded!

 

by Commander_t
3-14-05
Well, how do you like it?
It's crap, like usual.
Are you sure? I could transport us to as many different backgrounds there are?
No, I like to go around the crap, not through it.
Whatever. You're here anyways, so you'll get used to it.
Not likely. Later!

 

by Commander_t
3-14-05
WHOA!!
AAHHH!!
You're not fooling anyone with this stunt.
...

 

by Commander_t
3-14-05
*chirp*
O Gudd! Noot aaginn!!
*chirp*
Pleez! Dunt giivv mee anithur anul proob!
*chirp*
THE PAAN!!!!!

 

by Commander_t
3-14-05
Captain Stupid was in the pits...
Man, I've got to find some gold soon. You'd think luck would be on my side!
Hello. Are you Captain Stupid by any chance?
N-no...
Captain Stupid's life was flashing before his eyes...
I think so...
Oh God, no!!!

 

by Commander_t
3-14-05
*rustle*
EEK!! Is anyone there?
*rustle*
Answer me!
HEEY! ITTZ MI! ARMY GUY!!
RETARD!!!

 

by Commander_t
3-16-05
I've got to find it!
Find what, Amish?
A book about Egyptology!
Well, you can get all your Egyptology lessons from that pyramid we discovered.
No, I don't think that will work...
Too bad.

 

by Commander_t
3-17-05
Dreams...
What is it now, Amish?
I feel that I have to go to Idaho.
Dreams...
Why?
So that I may become a potato farmer.
Dreams...
It'll never happen.
True...

 

by Commander_t
3-17-05
I'M FREAKING IRISH!!!
I'M FREAKING IRISH...!!!
DID YOU HEAR ME?! I'M FREAKING IRISH!!!
Yu dunt hev tu yil!! Noo, lits git westid!!

 

by Commander_t
3-17-05
I don't know where I am...
Don't worry. It's safe here.
I don't feel safe.
That's because there's something wrong here; maybe with us too...
What is it?
Its not safe to say...

 

by Commander_t
3-18-05
What were you doing just now, Amish?
I was listening to some Lead Belly.
No, no. Besides that?
Nothing much. Just making some posts to message boards.
I thought the Amish hated technology?
I'm freaking hi-tech Amish!

 

by Commander_t
3-18-05
EVERYONE BE HAPPY!!
EVERYONE BE... AVERAGE...!!!
EVERYONE... uh... God! Why do I have to be so short?!
HAHAHA!! YOU'RE A MIDGET!!!

 

by Commander_t
3-18-05
Gutt tu git owta heer kwiik!
AHHH!!!
Are you ok, mister? You were in herre for quite some time... BLECH!! What did you kill in here?!
Jist da Capan's sekrit resipee beeenz.
Ah, God! I'm just going to go outside and die from this now!!!

 

by Commander_t
3-18-05
Hello Mr. President!! We at the White House are glad that you've returned from your most recent sabbatical!!
Thank you, Mr. Chief-of-Staff! Its good to be back!
Yes. First, we've finally gotten your security situation under control, but-
EXCELLENT!!
OH SWEET GOD!!!!
Come sit on Michael's lap Mr. President!! Hehe!!

 

by Commander_t
3-18-05
W-where am I? What's going on here?
I've got to get out of here!!!
I'm never eating that again!!
I feel so violated...

 

by Commander_t
3-18-05
Maan, I gotta git owta dis plaas! Iit'l kil mi!
Su, Ii wuz tinkin yu culd heelp mi git en edgukashen.
I'm sorry Army Guy, but aren't you just a little retarded?
Naw! Da Capan saaz Ii'mm hiiz bisst maan! Maabee I dunt neeed noo edgukashun...?
His retardation is worse than I thought.

 

by Commander_t
3-18-05
Alriit, heer itt gooz...
Hullu! Um Miser Bhabbaghounoush! Ii heer tu educatt yuu!!
Mi naam iz Army Guy, Ii maa bee slitlee returdid.
Oh, nu pruublum! Uhmericuh iz de plaace tu geet yur educashen!
Graat!
Lettz git sterted, shal wee...?

 

by Commander_t
3-18-05
Noww, reepeet effturr mee: Ii'mm noot stuupiid!
Yur nit stoopid.
No, no! Yer noot stuupiid.
Yur nit stoopid!
Ahh! No! Hoow muuch educashen diid yuu haav? Diid yuu graadyuaatte frum elemeentury skuul...?

 

by Commander_t
3-18-05
Hello Amish! What are you up to?
I'm trying to figure out a schedule for the day. I've just read my horoscope; it said I have to have a schedule of things.
Now Amish, you know, as a Christian, I do not believe in horoscopes.
But what if it said you'd be having a visit from a secret someone in your life...?
Dear Lord! Has he found out about me and Sister Rhoda?!
Hey, don't take it so hard Sister! I only joke! Haha!

 

by Commander_t
3-19-05
Mr. President was not happy...
WHAT KIND OF SECURITY IS THAT?!
I-I'm sorry, sir! Michael was the only person I could come up with on such short notice!
Mr. President was going to give punishment to Mr. Chief-of-Staff...
Well, I'm putting you in charge of taking care of that! HAHAHA!!!
*sob*
He felt that he would have a visitor soon...
YOU'VE GOT GAY PORN!!
OOHH!! Michael like!! Hehehe!!!

 

by Commander_t
3-19-05
Heey! Where are yuu goiing?!
Noowhur!!! *sob*
So Army Guy ran away from Mr. Bhabbaghounoush, and decided to do the one thing he knew...
...and thetz whii Ii druppid owta eelimentury skuull agin!
Oh, Army Guy! You're smart, and deserve a proper education! If only I could do something!
Later...
I had to open my big fat mouth...!
I-I'm g-going to p-pass first g-grade!

 

by Commander_t
3-19-05
Hey Amish! What's going on today?
Well, I debunked a lottery scam on the internet today, guy! I feel good about that!
Really...?
Yes! It makes me feel good inside; knowing that people wont get ripped off by that or those con artists!
How do you feel now?
OH DEAR GOD!!!

 

by Commander_t
3-19-05
Hee, frin! Yuh gutt enee munee?
Nah, I'm a Starving Artist, man!
Wut duz det meen?
That means I haven't eaten in nearly a week!
I wiish I wuz a stervin artesst!
You look like you taste good. Can I have a bite?

 

by Commander_t
3-19-05
Did anyone hear about the "Satan" turtle? Anyway, the turtle survived a fire, and was scorched with the image of Satan.
The owner said he was going to sell it; probably on ebay. If it were me, I'd buy it up quick! Then I'd charge a buttload of money for people to pet "Satan's Turtle:
Love Child or Demon Child!"
ALL PEOPLE SHOIULD LIVE IN FEAR OF THE COMING END!!! REPENT OF YOUR TURTLE LOVING SINS!!!

 

by Commander_t
3-19-05
Mr. President wasn't going to be able to use the Lincoln Bedroom for months...
YUCK!!
What is it Mr. President?
Ugh... Michael is using the Lincoln Bedroom again...
You weren't able to use it for nearly a year last time he used it!!! SWEET GOD! Why can't he use the box behind the garage?!
Much later...
Ohhh...!! The horrible pains I have to endure for my country...!!! ... Where's that Preperation H when you need it?!

 

by Commander_t
3-19-05
Hey, is Stupid here? Also, did you know that you're very short?
*sob*
Just tell me where Stupid is!
*sob* No, because you called me short!
You're a freaking leprechaun!! Anyways, you'll be called Swiss in a minute if you don't tell me where Stupid is!
*sob*

 

by Commander_t
3-19-05
Amish, how does it feel to be writing on a halfway consistent basis once more?
It feels good. I've posted several comics today, and written a little bit too!
So, you'll keep your commitments to post your non-comic strips?
I'll certainly try. I mean, I said I'd post them somtime this week. It may hurt my strip production; but I see it as a furtherance of art.
So, you're not going to post them tomorrow?
Uh, probably not unfortunately...

 

by Commander_t
3-20-05
Ah! There's nothing like taking a day off! Wait a minute, what's that over there?
Amish decides to investigate...
HOLY CRAP!!!
The City wasn't important to Amish right now...
Nope, not today.
Amish! You've got to get back to work now! People are starting to riot!!

Showing page 2.

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