All comics by DarkStranger

 

Unexplained Occurences by DarkStranger 9-02-02
RIGHT, THIS WAY PLEASE	ON YOUR LEFT YOU'LL SEE THE SPIRES OF THE GREAT PALACE OF HELL, AND ON YOUR RIGHT THE SHADY ACHRES RETIREMENT COMMUNITY FOR THE DAMNED....	OK, HOW DID YOU...YOU KNOW WHAT, I DONT CARE, TOO MUCH UNEXPLAINED SHIT GOES ON AROUND HERE TO WORRY ABOUT. *SIGH*

 

Through the eyes of a Dog....a Gay dog. by DarkStranger 9-03-02
QUEER, QUEER FAGGOT GAY! Awww hahahah....homosexual.	FAG FAG PILLOW BITER. ASS BANDIT COLON COMMANDO RUMP RANGER!!!	Queeeeeeer.......

 

Batter Up! by DarkStranger 9-03-02
WELL, NOW THAT WE'VE THOROUGHLY INSULTED THE GAY COMMUNITY, TIME TO MOVE ON TO THE NEXT TARGET.... The Jews!	WAIT, HOW ABOUT THE BLACKS? Nah, too easy....how about mexicans, we havent done them yet.	I KNOW, LETS TRY AND INSULT OUR FANS!! So....not the Jews then?

 

The Fans Demand it by DarkStranger 9-04-02
YA THRUST YER PELVIS, HUH!	AND YA THRUST YER PELVIS, HUH!	Death....You're supposed to be at work...and here I find you dancing naked and rubbing yourself all over my bed. THE...UH...ER...THE FANS DEMANED I BE MORE MUSICALLY INCLINED...THE RUBBING OF THE PRIVATES ON THE BED WAS MY IDEA THOUGH.

 

Tricks of the Trade by DarkStranger 9-06-02
CAN YOU BELIEVE I GOT PUT ON PROBATION? So, Im taking over for you for two weeks?	IT'S NOT HARD, THE TRICK IS NOT SCREWING UP AND KILLING THE WRONG PERSON, FROM THERE YOU JUST LEAD THEM TO THE GATES. So, what happens when you kill the wrong guy?	WELL, LIKE I DID IN TUPAC'S CASE I BLAMED IT ON HIS FRIEND, AND THEN KILLED HIS FRIEND TO TIE UP LOOSE ENDS. I still cant believe you mistook Tupac for Chris Farley.

 

Tate's first day on the job by DarkStranger 9-06-02
Ok, Find the soul....dont kill the wrong person, then return the soul to the gates...not so hard. Hey man, you got a reefer?	AHHHH!	Ok, remain calm, check the list, he's probably on there somewhere...if not I can just pencil him in...

 

A hard job by DarkStranger 9-07-02
Ok, all souls present and accounted for minus one....where the hell is he?	Goddamit, you're supposed to be dead.... Ughhhhhh...	This job requires too much physical effort, I wonder if there's a way I can just clean all the souls that are dead at once...

 

Big screw up by DarkStranger 9-07-02
Ill just push the button on the modified soul capturer, that should get every dead soul on earth and....	Not good....ok...what would Death do in this situation? Maybe a flashback would help....	...AND REMEMBER, IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY DESTROY ALL LIFE ON EARTH, BLAME THE JEWS. IT'LL ALL BE CLEANED UP AND WE'LL JUST ADD ANOTHER MILLENIUM TO THEIR PUNISHMENT. Well, that works out then.

 

Tate blames the minorities. by DarkStranger 9-09-02
...And you're sure he said he was a member of a secret jewish doomsday cult? I managed to learn some stuff about it before he set off his Doomsday device..	What did you learn? Let's see...dad: Well It's a well known fact sonny jim that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, called the pentaverate, that control everything, including the newspape	Ok, you're just quoting "So I married an Axe murderer" tell me what really happened. Go on, ask me who the leaders of this cult are.

 

Everything gets cleared up by DarkStranger 9-09-02
Alright, find, I already know what you're going to say , but who are the leaders of this cult? the queen, the vatican, the yettis, the lockchilds, and colonel sanders before he went tits up. oh how I hate the colonel, with his wee beady eyes and the smug look on his face...	Alright, All tell you what, given that there's absolutely no evidence to the contrary, Ill just believe you, its easier for all of us. Really, thats G-R-R-Reat!	But you must promise never to speak to me again, if you need me for ANYTHING, get someone else to ask me. got it? I cant believe I open mouth kissed an aborted fetus.

 

Death back to work. by DarkStranger 9-10-02
WELL, TIME TO GO BACK TO WORK. But Death, its only been like three days. What'll lucifer do if he sees you back to work?	HE SENT ME A LETTER Dear Death: Get back to work immediatly, Tate is never to be allowed outside the room again, I've posted Kilarney by the door to make sure this doesnt happen.	GODAMMIT WHITE BOY, YOU DONE SCREWED UP DIDNT YA? But he said all was forgiven!

 

Fired by DarkStranger 9-16-02
OK TATE, WE'RE....WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? I AM THE DESTRUCTO-BOT 5000. I HAVE BEEN ASSIGNED YOUR POSITION BECAUSE YOU ARE UNEFICIENT	I MAY BE INEFICIENT, BUT AT LEAST I CAN USE PROPER GRAMMAR...ALMOST. YOU HAVE TO BEEN RETIRED. PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE THIS ROOM FOR ETERNITY.	RETIRE ME WILL THEY? ILL SHOW THEM!! Death, please dont do anything rash, the destructo-bot is only doing its job. Besides, its funny to listen to him talk...hehe...silly robot with down's syndrome...hehe...silly anyone with down's

 

Lets offend by DarkStranger 9-17-02
THIS IS MINE DESTRUCTO-BOT, YOU CANT HAVE HIM!!!	Well howdy little girl...shouldn't you be out building a railroad? Am not rittre girr, am trained ninja. And you are about to die without honor.	DESTRUCTO-BOT WILL OUTPERFORM YOU.

 

Doomed by DarkStranger 1-06-03
SO THEN I THREW OPEN THE BACK DOOR OF THE VAN AND THREW THE DESTRUCTO-BOT INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE FREEWAY AT RUSH HOUR. That's great, So did you get your job back?	HARDLY, BUT ITS THE ONLY THING I KNOW SO ILL DO IT ANYWAY. But without the lists how will you know which souls to pick up for departure?	HEY, I'VE BEEN DOING THIS JOB SINCE THE BEGINNING OF CREATION, I'LL KNOW WHEN A SOUL'S READY TO GO Doomed...we're all doomed.

 

Death Plays it straight by DarkStranger 4-29-03
Death, I have something to tell you...Im gay. I ALREADY KNEW THAT	But I thought you wouldnt hire me if you knew I was gay. TATE, I HIRED YOU BECAUSE GAY PEOPLE COMPLAIN LESS THAN WOMEN AND ARE SERVE VIRTUALLY THE SAME PURPOSE.	And that purpose is...good book keeping? THAT AND BEING SUBJUGATED SO WE MEN PROVE TO YOU WOMEN AND QUEERFOLK WHOS REALLY IN CHARGE.

 

New Nuts by DarkStranger 8-15-03
Wow Death, I just got my new synthetic testicles and hormone treatment, and boy do I feel manly! REALLY? PROVE IT, DO SOMETHING NOT GAY	FOOTBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!! THATS JUST A TRICK HOMOSEXUALS USE TO MAKE US STRAIGHT GUYS LIKE THEM.	Well, I could see you naked and not get a stiffy OH HO!! TRYING TO GET MY ROBES OFF EH? I KNEW THAT THIS WAS ONE OF THOSE "INCURABLE" DISEASES!! STAY BACK, YOU MIGHT BE CONTAGIOUS!!

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