All comics by DrMorton

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by DrMorton
6-11-07
Please save me, Jesus!
What can I do for you, little fish?
Could you turn all this air around me into water?
Sorry, the trick works with wine only. But I can multiply fish.
Okay, at least I won´t die alone. Cough! Cough!
Glad I could help.

 

by DrMorton
6-11-07
Oh, say! Can you see ...
... by the dawn´s early light?
I can´t, you know. I´m kinda nightblind. Or is it dawnblind?

 

by DrMorton
6-11-07
Will you still feed me, ...
... when I´m sixty-four?
That´s not very likely. Chickens don´t live that long. Also I would be 125 by then.
Damn.

 

by DrMorton
6-11-07
Hey fish, where are you going?
I´m leaving you.
Why?
I can´t stay with a guy who lives in a tin can.
That´s rich from someone who used to live in a glass bowl ...
Aaargh! Cough! Cough! Water!

 

by DrMorton
6-11-07
Neat! Fire.
If only I had hands I could warm them now.
* see also "RCL Intermezzo: The Red, Fish and Blue"
And then again there´s the leg problem. *

 

by DrMorton
6-12-07
No stop sign, speed limit, ...
... nobody slow us down.
You realize I´m the one in a car, don´t you?
Go to hell!

 

by DrMorton
6-13-07
Sieger sehen anders aus!
Die Mädchen sind still, ...
...
... so still die Knaben, ...
...
... ihre Seelen so blank wie die von Küchenschaben.
Frechheit!

 

by DrMorton
6-13-07
Sitting on a park bench ...
... he´s eyeing little girls with bad intent ...
... snot running down his nose ...
You´ll be feeling like a dead duck if you continue like this!
Dead chicken, if you please ...

 

by DrMorton
6-13-07
What the ... ?
Uh ... oh! An ostrich!
Their piss is like acid.

 

by DrMorton
6-13-07
So you say, you´d like to come and meet us, but you think you´d blow our minds?
I said "brains" not "minds". Also I do not care.

 

by DrMorton
6-14-07
So that´s how I left my bowl to make a career in advertising.
You got everything?
Yep! Last question: How long do you think your career will go on like this?
Well, I left the bowl a minute ago, so it should take another minute or so before I die without water. Aaargh! Cough! Cough!

 

by DrMorton
6-14-07
I´ll run around in circles ...
... ´til I run out of breath.
I´ve seen chickens do that.
But what´s the point?

 

by DrMorton
6-14-07
I´ll kiss you from your feet ...
... to where your head begins.
You make me hungry for you.
I´m not sure if I like how he said that.

 

by DrMorton
6-14-07
The time has come at last to throw away this mask. So everyone can see my true identity ...
... I´m Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!
Domo arigato, Mr. Chicken!
Domo ... domo ... domo ... domo ... domo ... domo ... [ALERT+++CHICKEN VOICE LOOP MALFUNCTION+++THE PROCESS CANNOT BE TERMINATED+++] ... domo ... domo ... domo ... domo ... domo ... domo ...

 

by DrMorton
6-16-07
Wind Nord/Ost, Startbahn null-drei, bis hier hör´ ich die Motoren ...
... es dröhnt in meinen Ohren!
Unterschreiben Sie daher noch heute! Jede Stimme zählt!
Sie sahen eine Belangsendung der unabhängigen Bürgerinitiative "Sag Nein zur Errichtung der Startbahn null-drei!"

 

by DrMorton
6-17-07
He´s clucking a lot, but he´s not saying anything, ...
cluck!
... I plucked him once - why pluck him again?
cluck!
Qu´est-ce que c´est?
Bwak bwak bwak bwaaak bwak bwak bwak bwak bwaaak bwak!

 

by DrMorton
6-19-07
The rusty chains of prison moons are shattered by the sun.
I walk a road, horizons change, the tournament´s begun.
The yellow jester does not play but gently pulls the strings ... and smiles when the puppets dance.
Boy, did those mushrooms kick in big this time! Also I´m not really there. And the King is not blue.

 

The drugs don´t work.
No problem, I´ll fix them.
by DrMorton, 6-21-07

 

by DrMorton
6-26-07
Eleventy-One!
I didn´t know what else to do with the premise. I don´t even like "The Lord of the Rings". I´m glad though that the forest grew in time for the third panel.
I´m only here to complete the visuals. And to fix that flooded toilet of yours with my handy pumpellock.

 

by DrMorton
6-26-07
Oops! What was that?
Arrr! I cut you in half with my trusty sabre, you foolish creature!
Somehow I feel better now ...
No shit.

 

by DrMorton
6-26-07
You will always find me in the kitchen at parties ...
Hey guys, chicken wings are out! Let´s check in the kitchen!
Uh ... oh.
I guess next time you will find me in the bathroom.

 

by DrMorton
6-29-07
Doctors say participating in a stripcreator comic competition can do horrible things to your body and mind.
We now go to local correspondant Miranda Vera Cruz de la Hoya Cardinal who has all the details. Miranda?

 

by DrMorton
6-29-07
Hey, that guy is probably carrying a lot of money in his case. - Now if I had hands I could strangle him and take the money.
Nah, I wouldn´t do such a thing.
I could only get away with it if I also had legs.

 

by DrMorton
6-29-07
You hear a door slam and realize there´s nowhere left to run ...
... you feel the cold hand and wonder if you´ll ever see the sun ...
And that cloaca examination was only the beginning of my ordeal in the army.
I like it!

 

by DrMorton
6-29-07
You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar when I met you.
I picked you up, I shook you up and turned you around.
That much is true.
Still what happened wasn´t your fault. You couldn´t know that I always throw up after dancing.

 

by DrMorton
6-30-07
It´s just a jump to the left!
And then a step to the rihihihihight!
Okay, people. If you insist, I might also put my wings to my hips, even bend my knees in tight - but you really do not want to see my pelvic thrust.

 

by DrMorton
7-01-07
Ho! Ho! Ho! Little fish, what might I find on your wish list?
I need some water fast or I´m going to die out here.
And have you been a good fishy?
Cut the crap, Santa! You can spare me the baby talk. Just help me!
You know that it is almost six months until Christmas, don´t you?
Aaargh! Cough! Cough!

 

by DrMorton
7-02-07
I don´t like the way that guy is looking at me. And what is he up to with that hammer and nail? He wouldn´t ... ?
If I had legs I could run away now.
Thank god, he missed! I´d scream with relief if only I had a mouth.

 

by DrMorton
7-02-07
If you´ll be my Dixie chicken ...
... I´ll be your Tennessee lamb.
And then that low-down Southern whiskey began to fog my mind ...

 

by DrMorton
7-03-07
The boys are back in town!
Phew! I met some really weird guys today, that´s for sure! God, what´s that?
Hick!
Uhm ... boys and girls ...
Hick!
Whatever.

 

by DrMorton
7-03-07
I´d like to dedicate this to my old buddy Leonard. He saw the future and he knew that it was murder.
When they said "Repent!" ...
Girls choir: Repent! Repent!
... I wonder what they meant.
F**king freak!

 

by DrMorton
7-03-07
BRAINS!
Where did that come from?

 

by DrMorton
7-03-07
Mama, just killed a man ...
... put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he´s dead.
Ya sure?
Aaargh! Bwaaaaak! Bismillah!
Next time you´d better check if you´ve really finished the job, chicken!

 

by DrMorton
7-04-07
´Cause everytime it rains, you´re here in my head ...
... like the sun coming out ...
Hey! Could someone please remove Donald Sutherland from the strip? I find him distracting.
I won´t forget.

 

by DrMorton
7-04-07
A 4th of July special, recited by Lyrics Chicken ...
You should have stayed at home yesterday, words can´t describe the feeling and the way you lied.
... to the sound of orchestras moving through the night.
These games you play, they´re gonna end in more than tears someday, it shouldn´t ever have to end this way ...
MOH!
Go, tell´em, brother!

 

by DrMorton
7-04-07
Must ... fight ... must ... be strong ... must ... hold myself ... against the storm ...
Cough! ... Cough! ... Must not ... give up!
Keeping up that speed I´ll reach the cockpit tomorrow evening. That´s enough time to memorize the plane´s manual and bring us all back safely.

 

by DrMorton
7-04-07
Well, since my baby left me I found a new place to dwell.
Yes, those friendly samaritans from KFC gave this poor homeless chicken shelter from the rain.
They say KFC is short for "The Kind Followers of the Christ" and they surely live up to their name.
Welcome, chicken. I´m brother Hop Sing, your coo ... uhm, counsellor. Are you ready to meet the lord Jesus Christ?

 

by DrMorton
7-05-07
Battersea Power Station not included.
So you think you can tell heaven from hell, blue skies from pain?
Yup.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail, a smile from a veil?
I can also fly.
And did you trade your heroes for ghosts?
Slander! I wish my lawyer was here!

 

by DrMorton
7-06-07
Yes, there were times, I´m sure you knew, when I bit off more than I could chew, ...
but throught it all, when there was doubt I ate it up and spit it out.
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing to think I did all that ...
That´s easy to say for you. YOU don´t have to swipe all that goo off the stage after your act every night.

 

by DrMorton
7-06-07
There were times, I´m sure you knew, when there was nothing fucking else to do.
Can I go now?

 

by DrMorton
7-06-07
Crystal Lake High, 9.00 a.m.
Wait until dad finds out you took his scythe for show and tell without asking!
Well, the other kids won´t be able to tell, will they? And dad couldn´t find out anyway.
How come?
I put my didgeridoo in dad´s tool bag instead. Looks almost the same from the outside. Dad won´t look there before next Friday 13th.
Which happens to be today, you illiterate nincompoop ...
Uh ... oh. Can you imagine the sounds when dad stabs people with that thing?

 

by DrMorton
7-08-07
Du, mir sagt a Freind, heast in dera Stadt gibt´s an Menschen, der wos haargenau Dei Aussehen hat, und der außerdem die Stirn besitzt, dass er diese blöde Ähnlichkeit mit Dir benützt.
Den möchte ich sehen!
In memoriam Georg D.
Das ist jetzt aber nicht wahr?

 

by DrMorton
7-08-07
Can I let them in? Can I let them in?
Nope.
Conspiracy!
Who put you in charge anyway? Why can´t I let them in?
I wanna let them in! I wanna let them in!
No way.
Pleeeeeeease?
You know what your father said. No playing with the living dead before you´ve finished supper. And that includes that broccoli pastry, young Sir!

 

by DrMorton
7-08-07
For show and tell I brought my 1:1 replica of Donald Turnupseed in his 1950 Ford Tudor two seconds before crashing into James Dean in his Porsche 550 Spyder on September 30th, 1955.
It was made of fine Appenzeller cheese over the course of five years. If you look closely at the driver´s pupils, you can see a faint reflection of the Porsche approaching.
No questions?

 

by DrMorton
7-08-07
That show is great! I have to know if Senor Gonzales ever finds out that his housekeeper Consuelo is really his long lost daughter.
There´s only one thing that can interfere and that´s them zombies outside the house. Let´s hope the boards I nailed to the window can hold them back.
Dammit! I forgot that I can only survive for five minutes outside my bowl! Aaargh! Cough! Cough! Think of me, Consuelo!

 

by DrMorton
7-08-07
Gugu!
Gaga!
Any questions so far?

 

by DrMorton
7-08-07
Everybody has to do one, right?
Class, I want you to listen very carefully to our guest speaker from the Institute of Advanced Studies in Cowboy Physics.
I´ll be talking about rotor turbines and gravitons today, kids. This is a very important subject that lies right at the core of our country´s economy and future.
Well, them rotor turbines ain´t gonna generate gravitons by themselves. Remember that, kids! They ain´t.
I don´t know what the fuck he´s talking about but I´ll have them write a paper on it anyhow.

 

by DrMorton
7-09-07
Neat! Stripcreator! If only I had hands I could make tons of comics.
But not everybody who could should. And that goes to you, DrMorton!
Do I get banned now?

 
by DrMorton, 7-09-07

 

by DrMorton
7-10-07
I must have come across the most beautiful place in the whole universe. Not only was the grass here greener than anywhere I´d been before - it also floated gently two feet above the ground ...
... while chanting heavenly tunes through its thousands of thousands of tiny mouths. They sang of eternal bliss, of neverending joy, they sang the song of life itself.
It all had to end of course when mission control realized that the engineers had accidentally switched one of my oxygen cylinders for one of laughing gas.

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