All comics by Gabu

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by Gabu
5-26-04
Ouch, I think she's actually hurt.
Ooh, yes Bob, that looked like a nasty fall.
Anyway, onto a different matter. If we believe the prophets of disaster our world could soon end due to global warming or a meteor strike.
And if this topic turns out to be true they may be right. We now go live to our reporter who's on the scene of a very interesting new find.
Actually, I fired the reporter because everyone hated his retarded stories. You're both fired too.

 

by Gabu
5-26-04
Hi. I'm John Romero.
Remember that Bible verse that said all you had to do was believe in Jesus and you'd be saved?
Turns out Daikatana was just too much for Jesus.
BREAK'S OVER, JOHNNY BOY!!!!!!!

 

by Gabu
5-28-04
ARRRRRRRRRR!!!!! KEELHAUL THE LANDLUBBER 'N' THEN HOIST TH' JOLLY ROGER FOR THE SEVEN SEAS!!!!!!
What the hell did you just say?
I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE!!!!!

 

by Gabu
5-31-04
ARRRRRR!! WHERE BE MY FIRST MATE?!?
ARRRRRR!! MY FIRST MATE!!! SHIVER ME TIMBERS!!!!!
I'd really rather not.

 

by Gabu
5-31-04
ARRR!! SHIP OFF THE PORT BOW!!!!! READY THE CANNONS!!!!!!!
READY THE SIZEABLE SLINGSHOT!!!!!!
Aye, aye.

 

by Gabu
5-31-04
ARRRRRR!!! A DIRECT HIT!!!! HAR HAR HARRRR!!!
Uh, Captain, that's a British frigate.
ARRRRR!!!!!!!!! THEY BE THE DIRT UNDER MY BOOTS!!!!!!!
Excuse me while I go commit a mutiny.

 

by Gabu
5-31-04
Uh, captain, now they're aiming all 30 main cannons at us.
ARRRRR!!!! LET THE SCURVY DOGS FIRE!!!! THEY BE NOTHING TO "THE PIRATE KING"!!!!!!
ARRR!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by Gabu
5-31-04
ARRRRR!!!!!! FIRST MATE, DAMAGE REPORT!!!!!!!!!
Uh, well, the ship sank, along with everything on it.
ARR!!!!!! WHAT BE THAT WHICH WE STILL HAVE??!?!
Well... the planks we're holding on to. That's about it.
ARRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! THE PIRATE KING WILL FIGHT ON!!!!!!!!!!
Excuse me while I go commit another mutiny.

 

by Gabu
5-31-04
ARRRRR!!! FIRST MATE!!!! LOOKOUT!!!!! WHERE BE YE!?!?? A POX ON YE MUTINOUS SCALAWAGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS FUCKING BITES A PARROT'S ASS!!!!!!!!

 

by Gabu
5-31-04
ARRRRR!!!!! WHAT BE THAT!??! AHA!!! LAND HO!!!!!!! ARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
ARRRRR!!!!!! THE PIRATE KING LIVES ON!!!!! HAR HAR HAR HAR HARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
Mmmmm! This look like tasty man! I get pot and fire!
ARRRRRRR!!!!!!!! FUCK ME!!!!!!!!

 

by Gabu
6-01-04
Hello, can I take your order?
Yes. I am robbing this store.
But you don't have a gun.
Oh no?
HANDS UP

 

by Gabu
6-01-04
Oh dear, I seem to have left my gun in my other pocket.
HANDS UP

 

by Gabu
6-01-04
That still isn't a gun.
I'm afraid you are mistaken, little lady. It is indeed a gun.
No, it's def-
YES IT IS

 

by Gabu
6-01-04
That's it, I'm getting the manager.
I hate you so much.

 

by Gabu
6-01-04
Here now, just hand over the money like a good chap and no one will get hurt.
You still don't have anything to rob me with.
Now, now, missy, we've been over this already.

 

by Gabu
6-01-04
All right, I did not wish for it to come to this, but you have left me no other option, little lady.
BANG!
Wha-
No, I'm afraid you're dead, and dead people can't talk, you see.

 

by Gabu
6-01-04
Right, now that I have dispatched with that sassy ruffian, I shall take my leave.
Good riddance.
Pardon me, but I just realized that you neglected to ask me if I wanted fries with that.

 

by Gabu
6-01-04
You didn't order any food. You need to order something before I can ask that.
All right, I would like a hamburger.
Would you like fries with that?
No.
Then why did you have me-
HANDS UP

 

by Gabu
6-01-04
Aha, you see, I have deftly caught you off guard, my good lady.
Whatever. Take the stupid money.
You have made a wise decision.
And then go away.
What! I shan't stand for this rude treatment of customers! I want to see the manager.

 

by Gabu
6-01-04
Fine! Fine! I'll get the manager!
There's a good chap.
ARGH!!
Terribly sorry, I had to use the bathroom.

 

by Gabu
6-01-04
Look, either order some food or go away.
Fine, then. I shall gladly take my leave of a place with such a rude hostess.
Glad that's over.
HANDS UP

 

by Gabu
6-01-04
I'm bored.
Let's go kill a guy.
I HEARD THAT! IT'S THE BIG HOUSE FOR YOU!!!!
Let us never speak of this again.
Agreed.

 

by Gabu
6-02-04
Coming in October 2004...
I am depressed and lonely! To allay this I go to as many self-help groups as I can.
I love you.
...the brand new remastering of the deepest movie of 1999, "Fight Club"...
You're depressed? No problem! I'll just beat the shit out of you. That'll make it better.
Yay! I feel alive again!
..."An Overly Pretentious Movie That Makes No Sense Covered By Its Being Called Philosophical".
Then he wanted to blow up some buildings and I didn't want to but then I realized that we were the same person so I killed myself and that killed him and now everything's okay.
I love you.

 

by Gabu
6-03-04
Ouch, I think she's actually hurt.
Ooh, yes Bob, that looked like a nasty fall.
Anyway, onto a different matter. If we believe the prophets of disaster our world could soon end due to global warming or a meteor strike.
And if this topic turns out to be true they may be right. We now go live to our reporter who's on the scene of a very interesting new find.
Hey, today's "Family Circus" was actually pretty good.

 

by Gabu
6-03-04
My boss just fired me because he hates me. Then he raped me.
Wow, shafted twice in one day.

 

by Gabu
6-05-04
CHARGE!!!!!!!
RAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!
RAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!
RAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!
RAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!
I think diplomacy is cool.

 

by Gabu
6-07-04
Welcome to Askin' Robins, the world famous ice cream shop! Can I interest you in a sampling of our newest flavor, True Rocky Road?
Sure, I love Rocky Road... but what makes this kind "true"?
Because it is! The ingredients have been switched around to give it a supremely genuine flavor!
For one, we use real rocky road.
*CRUNCH*

 

by Gabu
6-09-04
I AM SHRUGGING TO FIGHT THE SYSTEM
THIS LETTER SAYS I HAVE AIDS
I AM DESTITUTE AT THIS KNOWLEDGE
NEVER FEAR FOR I HAVE A HAMMER
A THOUSAND CRISES HAVE BEEN AVERTED
I COMMIT SUICIDE IN DRAMATIC IRONY

 

by Gabu
6-09-04
DEAR GABU THAT LAST COMIC SUCKED
I HABITATE A GARBAGE CAN AS A PROFOUND STATEMENT AGAINST MODERN SOCIETY
I FART AT YOUR GARBAGE CAN
I DO NOT REACT TO THIS ACT AS A PROFOUND STATEMENT AGAINST DISCRIMINATION
I READ ANOTHER LETTER
SORRY I LIED I ACTUALLY WAS STARING AT PAMELA ANDERSON

 

by Gabu
6-09-04
I HAVE A THOUGHT
I REQUEST THE KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT THIS THOUGHT IS
I CAST MY KNOWLEDGE INTO A GARBAGE CAN AS IT WAS NOT ADEQUATELY PROFOUND
I DECLARE THAT MY LIFE HAS NO MEANING WITHOUT THE ABILITY OF THIS THOUGHT TO BE REVEALED
I FIND A HAMMER IN THE TRASH CAN AND DECIDE TO NAME IT HANK
I FALL IN LOVE WITH HANK BUT THEN BREAK UP WITH HIM BECAUSE HE WAS NOT MY TYPE

 

by Gabu
6-09-04
WE THREE KINGS OF BLAH BLAH BLAH I CANNOT REMEMBER THAT CHRISTMAS CAROL
IT WAS A GOOD ONE HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS AND NOT REMEMBER IT
I APOLOGIZE PROFUSELY FOR MY GRIEVOUS ACTION
I AM STILL SUICIDAL BECAUSE MY LIFE IS MEANINGLESS NOW WAH WAH WAH WAH
YOUR DOCTOR PRESCRIBES NOT KILLING YOURSELF
SAVED IN THE NICK OF TIME

 

by Gabu
6-09-04
o/ I HAVE A KNIIIIIIIIFE o/
o/ YES WE HAVE KNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES o/
o/ MY KNIFE IS SHAAAAAAARP o/
o/ YES SO SHARP OH SO SHARP OH SO SHAAARP o/
KNIVES THE BROADWAY MUSICAL IT RULES GO SEE IT
I CONCUR

 

by Gabu
6-10-04
I cant stand my father, he is SUCH an asshole!
Oh goodness, i know! Just last week he got me whipped for playing grab-ass with the angels!
I wonder what Satan thinks about my dad, I mean he can't still be sour at him for the whole "eternal damnation" thing
Hmmm...
Yeah, he can.

 

by Gabu
6-10-04
TRIK OR TREAT111!1!1 OMG LOL IM A SILY PERSON WHO IS HOLDNG A DRINK11!! OMG WTF
I BUG U AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!1!11!!!11!!11!1!!1111!!!!!!!1111!11!111!!1!11!!!1!! OMG WTF
OMFG WTF HOW R U STANDNG UP U R A SKEL32N!!!1!1!!1!!1111!11!1!11!1111 WTF LOL
IM A MAGIC MAN!!!11!!!1!1
OMFG RULE BR3AEKR!!11!!11!!!!1 WTF OMFG RULA BREAEKR!1!111111!!1!!! OMG WTF LOL OMFG RULE BR3AEKR!!1!!11!1!! OMG LOL OMFG RUL3 BREAEKR!!!!111!11 LOL OMFG RUL3 BR3AEKR!!111!11!!!11 OMG
HELO IM RED THIS IS B/C IM MAD BNG MAD IS COL ALSO IM A LIZARD OR A DINOSAUR OR SOM3THNG AND IT IS SWET Y B/C IM R3D AND IT IS COL K DO U GET TAHT NOW??!?!????!??!??!!! OMG WTF LOL
RNG RNG IMM A TELEPHON3!!!!11!!11!1111!!11111!111!!!!1!11!1!1!!1!!1!11!1!1!! OMG WTF

 

by Gabu
6-11-04
THIS IS WIDESCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
AWESOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME
TRICKORTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT
OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

 

by Gabu
6-15-04
     Early March              Late March
Kerry's winning!
Bush's winning!
           April                     May
Kerry's winning!
Bush's winning!
       Early June               Present
Kerry's winning!
Holy shit, America, make up your fucking minds already.

 

by Gabu
6-16-04
Oh look, it's a nice landscape.
Whatever could make this scene better?
HOLY SHIT LOOK IT'S A FUCKING CAR!!!!!! IT'S SO FUCKING AWESOME LOOK AT IT

 

by Gabu
6-16-04
It's going so fast! Nothing can stop this car!
What could this car possibly do next?
OH MY FUCKING GOD IT JUST WENT AROUND A CORNER!!!!! I JUST PISSED MY FUCKING PANTS HERE

 

by Gabu
6-16-04
Look at this mountain! It's so awesome that our car is DRIVING ON IT!!!
Folks, I honestly think that this cannot get any- wait, what's that!?
OH MY FUCKING JESUS ON A STICK HE JUST FUCKING SHIFTED INTO FIFTH GEAR!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT I CREAMED MYSELF

 

by Gabu
6-16-04
Look at the driver's sunglasses! Look at them! THEY'RE FUCKING AWESOME!!
Oh no, there's a turn coming up? What will he do?!?
HOLY SHIT HE MOVED THE STEERING WHEEL!!!!!!!! THIS IS SO FUCKING INTENSE I CANNOT EXPRESS IT IN WORDS

 

by Gabu
6-16-04
Holy crap, now he's driving THROUGH A CITY!!! FAR OUT!!!!!
Oh no! A sharp turn appears! What will our fearless driver do!?
OH MY FUCKING HOLY TIRE IRON HE JUST DROVE OFF THE CLIFF AND EXPLODED!!!!!!! THAT WAS SO SWEE- wait a minute.

 

by Gabu
6-16-04
LOOK IT'S OUR LOGO BUY OUR FUCKING CAR

 

by Gabu
6-16-04
TOBOR CORNHOLE PRIEST!!!
TOBOR CORNHOLE PRIEST!!!
Sadly, there were no priests to be found in The Day After Tomorrow.
HELLO...? MONSIGNOR...?

 

by Gabu
6-18-04
I cant stand my father, he is SUCH an asshole!
Oh goodness, i know! Just last week he got me whipped for playing grab-ass with the angels!
I wonder what Satan thinks about my dad, I mean he can't still be sour at him for the whole "eternal damnation" thing
Hmmm...
Well, "Stripmaker" joined Stripcreator on his watch.
Fuck.

 

by Gabu
6-18-04
Tonight, on Ripley's Believe it or Not...
Is it a man? Is it a woman? Who knows, but here it is: it's Derangon!!
Who cares about gender? I'm fucking Australian!

 

by Gabu
6-18-04
Are the refreshments for the party on their way?
Yes, sir. Twenty crumpets and three pots of tea as you requested.
Very good.
And five hundred cases of vodka.
Couldn't hurt.

 

by Gabu
6-18-04
Noonie! Are the decorations all set up?
Yep!
And do you know where the decorations came from? They came from-
Yeah, the department store. Where else?
Never mind.

 

by Gabu
6-18-04
Biped! Uh... what the hell are you doing?
Nothing! I'm not doing anything! Nothing at all!
Oh, okay.

 

by Gabu
6-18-04
Four!
Three.
Two... from HITLER'S ASS!
Pun!
Zero!
Who invited you?

 

by Gabu
6-18-04
HAPPY 100TH COMIC!!!!
I feel like a changed man.
LET'S ALL GET SHITFACED!!!!!
The cat approves.
I OVERDOSED ON THE DICK CHENEY TRANQUILIZER DARTS!!!!!!!!
Of course, some things never change...

Showing page 2.

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