All comics by Hanbidge

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by Hanbidge
2-27-02
Watcha lookin' at?
Wait and you'll see it...
Hours later...
I stil don't see it...
...Keep lookin'...
Even more hours later...
All this looking up has caused me to injure my neck!
The total rises...

 

by Hanbidge
2-27-02
What's up little buddy?
I've lost my parents! Will you help me find them?
Sure thing! What do they look like?
Small, grey and furry.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
...wait, that wasn't funny...

 

by Hanbidge
2-27-02
"Small, grey and furry"! What a lark!
That guy's strip are so original and clever!
What? If he can't think of something to do, he writes about a stupid dog who finishes the strip by saying "Nevertheless: Woah woah"!
Nevertheless: Woah woah.
HE DID AGAIN!

 

by Hanbidge
2-28-02
Behold! Plot!
I'm worried that my standards are slipping. I must make sure my next strip is better than more recent attempts...
I WILL USE TWO RECURRING CHARACTERS!
Pikachu's the best!
Squirtle could cane him.
MESSIER THAN A MARVEL/DC CROSSOVER!
But Squirtle is weak against Pikachu's electric attacks!
Nevertheless: Woah woah.

 

by Hanbidge
2-28-02
Ben is talking to his leetle leetle brother...
You see, Mike, Linkin' Park are metal. Just because it's good doesn't mean it's better!
I'm gonna kick your fucking ass!
Ow! My ass!
bleed bleed
Bigot. If it's good and what you listen to is not, then that means it IS better

 

by Hanbidge
2-28-02
o|~ Whutcha gonna do when they come for you? o|~
That last one was good, but I couldn't take all the credit for it...
Freeze Hanbidge! Strip Police! You're goning ta jail!
I wonder who my cellmate is?
TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU NOW!
...I've stooped so low...

 

by Hanbidge
2-28-02
Like Scott Adams does...
Tobor, would you like to help me escape?
NO. TOBOR IS TIRED FROM MUCH CORNHOLING.
Aw, go on!
OKAY! TOBOR IS PUMPED UP BY THE CONCEPT OF FRESH MEAT TO CORNHOLE!
Let's escape then!
YES.

 

by Hanbidge
2-28-02
Now to escape using this bomb fashioned from a coat hanger and TP...
NOTE: IRONY
THE DOOR WAS OPEN...
Indeed.

 

by Hanbidge
2-28-02
Looks like it's time to go our separate ways, Tobor...
THIS MAKES TOBOR SAD...
Do you have any plans?
TOBOR IS MEETING AN OLD PRISON BUDDY FOR CORNHOLING!
HEY.
Hey.

 

by Hanbidge
2-28-02
In the void between our world and the afterlife...
SHAWN, YOUR TIME IS AT HAND...
Oh dear.
ANYTHING TO SAY?
I suppose I'll end up in Hell, seeing as I was such a badass when I was alive...
Nope. Pussy!
Oh dear.

 

by Hanbidge
2-28-02
Hanbidge is auditioning for new characters to spice up his strips...
Next!
Sucky sucky?
Just get out right now!
Nice balls.
Female lead = Titty jokes!
I don't do nudity unless it's vital to the plot...

 

by Hanbidge
2-28-02
Oliver prepares Maura for her first scene...
Okay, in this scene, I want you to come onto Disney...
'kay!
Hey sexy! Wanna use your big red lightsabre on me?
No. There is only one woman for me!
Oh......who's that then?
Chewbacca! (swoon)

 

by Hanbidge
3-01-02
What's up, Jill? You look concerned...
I volunteered to be used as a model for trainee barbers...
It looks okay. Why are you complaining?
Okay? Look at this!
Oh my god! That's awful!
Damn straight!

 

by Hanbidge
3-01-02
This old song isn't as good as the new stuff...
...yeah...
This isn't Slipknot!
These guys aren't even wearing masks!
This is exactly why no-one under 18 should be admitted to a Metallica concert!
Aye.

 

by Hanbidge
3-04-02
I never understood women and make-up. What's up with that?
Your understandiing of women disgusts me...
Why do you bother. Women look fine without it...
You wanna see me without my make-up? Well fine!
Eeeek!
You called down the thunder, well now you've got it!

 

by Hanbidge
3-04-02
Hanbidge is on a mission from God...
Hanbidge, spread the word!
What word? How? To whom?
A vague mission, but a mission nonetheless...
Hello?
When people say "Why bother with stripcreator.com? You aren't even funny", this is why...
This is a good a way as any...

 

by Hanbidge
3-05-02
Seeing as it's almost Easter, there's very little for me to do...
Take a break in Florida
But that might be a little hot. I'm used to the Arctic climate
Don't worry about it!
Stupid snowman! I'm gonna take a hair-dryer to him when I get home...
I don't care how hot you are "Saint Nick", you keep your pants on!

 

by Hanbidge
3-05-02
Father Christmas's holiday tour continues...
Well, the Outback is certainly better than Florida. There's less people, so no-one will mind if I'm pantsless...
Freeze, mate!
Good lord!
Take yer 'and off ya belt-buckle, mate! That's not the kind of thing we like around here...
Why do you have a gun?
It's the only way to keep Steve Irwin away...

 

by Hanbidge
12-18-02
Seems to me like I have two options as a student. Number one: Wisely spend my money on food, and such things...
...or two: Go buy some cool manga and some action figures and some stupid accessories, and then live off beans and noodles for the rest of the month...
...well that was easy... TO FORBIDDEN PLANET!

 

by Hanbidge
12-18-02
Damn...
...you'd think that now that there's a character that looks like Conan, it'd be really easy to make funny jokes.........guess I'll just make a joke about Ben...

 

by Hanbidge
12-18-02
Ben has a headache...
...MY, MY BRAIN! IT HURTS!
Oh, you poor, poor wretched thing. I shall help you! let me go and get my leetle friend...
NYAAAARGH! HURRY UP!
Bollocks.
Are you Ben?

 

by Hanbidge
12-18-02
Slipknot are having troubles...
Shawn, sales are dropping, you know what that means...
...of course I do...
We need a new look, to bring in the kids...
...right, let's go our seperate ways, and then reconvene...
...a few days later...
Shawn, what the fuck's wrong with you? We're supposed to be metal!
...oh, sorry...

 

by Hanbidge
12-21-02
You and your party are wandering the plains when...
I am Baldurion, the cunning ranger!
I am Rathmocaon, the wise Cleric!
You and ...you see a fearsome RABBIT!
What the fuck! I mean, Forsoth, what the fuck dost that be?
Conan, you can't DM if you're going to turn every campaign into Holy Grail!
But all my drugs have stunted my imagination! And it's funny.

 

by Hanbidge
12-21-02
Baldurion is travelling...
Zounds! What luck is this? A ranger in these parts?
...sigh...
Canst thou defeat the Great Wyrm tormenting our village
...look, I'm just a dude with a bow. Do it yourself.
Now, vile lizard, I shall rid the region of your evil!
...sigh...

 

by Hanbidge
12-21-02
Please, good sir Baldurion, take the quest!
For the last time, NO!
But the princess is in grave danger!
Princess? Is she hot?
Yes.
Huzzah! Onward ho!

 

by Hanbidge
12-21-02
Baldurion is trying to save the princess...
Outta my way!
NEVER! The prncess shall be sacrificed!
That princess is vital to my quest!
How so, mortal?
Some dumb-ass mage cast Blue Balls on my for d12 rounds.
Nasty, BUT STILL NO!

 

by Hanbidge
12-21-02
So, are you gonna move or not?
No! The princess shall die...
...oh, then can I have the body when you're done?
No!
Then it's settled. You will die.

 

by Hanbidge
12-21-02
Woo-hoo! I rolled critical!
I'll dodge it!
Go on then, make your little dice roll...
Shit! Critical fumble!
The demon trips over, and impales itself on it's claws
Result! I'm so good!
...ack, these dice are loaded...

 

by Hanbidge
12-21-02
...Baldurion has beaten the demon...
Lots of EXP for me! Now where's that princess? I've got a hankering for a spankering!
...oh, who the hell are you?
Thank you, Baldurion, but our princess is in another castle!
...one stabbing later...
Try again! Be more specific!
...bleed bleed bleed...

 

by Hanbidge
12-21-02
...eventually, Baldurion finds the right castle...
PRINCESS! WHERE ARE YOU? ...fucking bitch, if I wasn't so damn horny...
Over here, brave ranger!
...the fuck?
Ravish me!
...you lied to me. Prepare to be cornholed BY A FUCKING BASTARD SWORD!

 

by Hanbidge
12-21-02
...in the Brit-Cave...
...looks like evil is afoot!
Where are you going this time?
...America, surprise surprise...
Someone needs to sort that country out...
...duh! That's what I'm gonna do, right after I tell this french guy he sucks balls...
Tell him horses are for making glue with, not for eating.

 

by Hanbidge
12-21-02
...meanwhile, in America...
You short-changed me!
I did NOT!
...it doesn't matter who short-changed who...
Why not?
BRITMAN SAVES THE DAY AGAIN!
Because the pound is stronger than the dollar. Moron.

 

by Hanbidge
12-21-02
...in some US city somewhere...
...I can't believe you'd go with my boyfriend behind my back, Josie...
...but we're in love...
It's all irrelevant...
...how can you say that? We were going to get married!
...cause a smooth-ass English guy like me is all you need, baby. Isn't my accent sexy?

 

by Hanbidge
12-21-02
Your cartoon dogs talk wrong, frenchie!
Quoi?

 

by Hanbidge
12-21-02
So why don't you forget about him, baby? You need a real gentleman, like yours truely...
But you're not a gentleman. You're just an arrogant, pompous englishman.
You say that like it's a bad thing!

 

by Hanbidge
12-23-02
Och laddie! Ye be givin' us Brits a repuatation!
You're worried about people giving Brits a bad name?
Aye.
Then get your ass to Wales, bitch!

 

by Hanbidge
12-23-02
I'm bored.
Me too.
Aha! I ripped out your earring! But now what do I do?
SCREAM!
...all I need now is a cricket bat...
This hurts than the first time Ben breached me...

 

by Hanbidge
12-23-02
Well, Garnet, we beat Kuja. Seems our quest is at an end...
Yeah. I guess this would be the logical end to the adventure.
Suddenly, without any warning or foreshadowing...
Peekaboo. Now you fight me!
...
You know, if it had been Sephiroth, I couldn't have cared less.
At least it isn't a Disney character...

 

by Hanbidge
12-23-02
Julie has just got back from her first date with Dave, and is lying in bed, thinking...
I wonder what he thought of me. Did I look good enough?
Maybe I should have tried harder. I didn't exactly try hard to look good.
Did I make a good impression? I wonder if this relationship will go anywhere. I hope so. He seemed so nice...
Would he make a good father?
I wonder what he thought of me. Did I look good enough?I wonder if he's thinking about me right now...
EAT FIST, BISON!

 

by Hanbidge
12-23-02
Disney! Where are you?
I'm on the toilet, playing Pokémon on my GBA.
But you've been missing for weeks!
Yeah, I know. I'm shit at games.

 

by Hanbidge
12-23-02
Okay Jesus, I will stop trying to steal soles, if you can beat me at a game...
Okay, fair enough. What game?
Jan-Ken!
...I fucking hate you...
Ya, I know...

 

by Hanbidge
12-23-02
WOOOOOORGH!
Hey Joey, there's a lot of kids out there tonight.
Did you expect otherwise?
Woooo! Do the nose thing!
You guys are so metal!
...must...control... hand...

 

by Hanbidge
12-23-02
Oh, BritMan, your sexy accent and superior nationality have won me over!
...mmmno!
What? Why not?
...you're a dirty ginge, that's why...
But so are you!
...no I'm not. I'm just a poser who trys to nail punk chicks...

 

by Hanbidge
12-29-02
Oi! You! You're a cunt and everything you do is a pointless failure
Hey, it's like the song "Ridicule is nothing to scared of..."
Unless you're the sort of person who has no thoughts of his own, and bases his opinions on those of others...
...Yes, you are right. I deserve to die.

 

by Hanbidge
12-30-02
My furry webcomic is really coming along.
Let's see it then.
Wanna eat my CARROT?
Did you like it?
...my, my eyes, why won't they stop burning?

 

by Hanbidge
12-30-02
1987
I ask for He-Man and you get me Buzz-Off? You're the worst parents ever and I hate you!
1994
I ask for a Nintendo and you get me a Sega? You're the worst parents ever and I hate you!
2002
I ask for Kirsten Dunst in a bikini and you get me Rosie O'Donell? You're the worst parents ever and I hate you!

 

by Hanbidge
12-30-02
I don't think that gift was such a good idea...
...well he seems to be enjoying it...
...I know, but Voodoo? At his age?
...boys will be boys...
You got me socks? Better try again, granny...
...oooh, me 'ead's playing up again...

 

by Hanbidge
12-30-02
Hey, quick! Come look at this before it's gone!
Angela Lansbury! Naked! That's horrible!
Why would you make me look at that?
I dunno. Taste this "milk". I think it's gone off...

 

by Hanbidge
12-30-02
I guess I'll look at some more Star Wars sites, seeing as I have Christmas off...
...oh god, not again...
AHA HA HA, FREEDOM!
Damn, that's the third one this year!

 

by Hanbidge
12-30-02
Hey! Hey Todd! Todd McFarlene!
(Oh god, not another fanboy) What do you want?
Just one question! If Spawn only has a limited amount of power before he goes back to hell, how come you've put out over 100 hundred issues?
...
Todd?
LA LA LA I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU!

Showing page 2.

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