All comics by Hanbidge

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by Hanbidge
1-07-02
Tits
Tits
Tits

 

by Hanbidge
1-07-02
I'd sell my soul for some pants!
fwoosh
Aaaah!
That can be arranged... BWA HA HA HA HA HA!
No, you're alright thanks...
Bugger

 

by Hanbidge
1-07-02
Coby decides that pop music must die, and decides to destroy Britney first...
Prepare to die at the hands of a Metal God, Spears!
Britney attacks!
Nooooooooooo... Avenge me lords of metal!
Goby dies and goes to heaven, where he meets up with Kurt
Dick, you're NOT metal! Now get the hell out of here!
That hurts!

 

by Hanbidge
1-08-02
At an exclusive nightclub...
Dude, let me! I'm famous!
I don't recognise you...
I'm Eddie. From Iron Maiden
...
Really
Go away!

 

by Hanbidge
1-08-02
Hey, let's fight!
Them's fightin' words!
Oh no!
Aha!
Booya!

 

by Hanbidge
1-09-02
Evil Bob finally catches up with his nemesis, a snowman...
Now Snowman, with my incendary cat, I shall destroy you! BWA HA HA HA HA!
Oh no! I'll do anything if you spare me!
Anything?
Anything.
Dude, that's cold.
Sorry

 

by Hanbidge
1-09-02
Now preare to burn at the stake, Witch!
I'm not a witch. I'm a clown!
Don't lie to me!
I'm not. I'm really a clown!
Then make me laugh!
No.

 

by Hanbidge
1-15-02
Good lord! The Holy Grail! I'll buy it from you!
What?
Oh I'm so friggin' happy!
Holy Grail my ass...
I have the most treasured holy artifact. Yet something is missing...
Want another one?

 

by Hanbidge
1-15-02
Finally I can escape my solitude on this desolate rock!
Big rocket go up now!
Crap!

 

by Hanbidge
1-23-02
Now, go and kill those funny looking guys! Uk yuk!
Yes Sir, Mr President Sir!
Look out George! It's the enemy!
My only weakness is Pretzels! Let them come, pardner!
...and bombs, evidently...
Hands up everyone who voted for Gore!

 

by Hanbidge
1-23-02
Behold! The Amazing Captain Short Attention Span!
Whoosh!
Look! An amazing flying man!
Captain Short Attention Span has been summoned by George Dubyah Bush!
Captain Short Attention Span, we need you to Blah D De Blah BLAH
...
By depending on Captain Short Attention Span to deal with the world's excess nuclear armament, he doomed the world...
Do you understand?
NO!

 

by Hanbidge
1-23-02
Like it or not, I'm in prison now. I guess I'll have to adapt to my surroundings and companions and make the best of it! How bad can it be?
Can I poop in your mouth?
Self-mutilation will get me put into Solitary...

 

by Hanbidge
1-24-02
Alex the sweaty scientist is caught pimping himself out...
Oh no! Tony the Pimp!
Ey! Yousa bin sellins yoselves on da street. Mesa gonna teachs yousa a lesson...
What are you going to do to me?
Mesa gonna send yousa to be sleepin' wit da fishies... Comprende, gringo?
daaaaa dum daaaaaaa dum dum dum dum dum dum dum
blurble blurble
Ooooh, nerd flavour! Makes a change from skanky hookers!

 

by Hanbidge
1-28-02
...
...
...
Put your pants back on!

 

by Hanbidge
1-28-02
I think it's time to cut my toenails...
I better use my katana...
Oh, my lack of self-control has resulted in my own decapitation!
You again!

 

by Hanbidge
1-28-02
Oooh, looks like I'm in Hell following my self-decapitation...
fwoosh
Oooh, look, the devil! Have you seen Star Wars? Blah d De Blah BLAH! Blah D De Blah!
What?
And stay up there!
Blah D De Blah Empire Blah Blah Oh no Chewie died Blah D De Blah mmm Luke!

 

by Hanbidge
1-28-02
English cartoon dog:
Woof woof!
French cartoon dog:
Woah woah!
US cartoon dog:
Wassup bitch!
What's up with that?

 

by Hanbidge
1-28-02
Well, here we are, in our pants...
...again
Are those mine?
So what if they are?
I want those back
Trust me, you don't...

 

by Hanbidge
1-28-02
Light-Your-Farts-Man comes across a crime...
Oh no! French Cartoon Dog! My arch nemesis! I shall destroy you!
Woah woah!
phhhfffrrrt
FWOOSH!
Well, that was a HEATED battle! Ha ha ha!
Woah woah!

 

by Hanbidge
1-28-02
That was such a great film!
I didn't think much of it...
What!?! That was the best film I've seen in years that wasn't directed by Kevin Smith!
The book was better...
YOU CAN'T READ!
Nevertheless; Woah woah.

 

by Hanbidge
1-29-02
Bill appears to have flies hoovering above his head... He sure does smell...
That guys got beer! I want beer!
Hey, Bill, take these lemon fresh moist wipes and clean yourself up!
Why?
COS YOU STINK OF SHIT!
.........

 

by Hanbidge
1-29-02
New Metallica is way better than Old Metallica!
......
......
......
You son, are a cunt!

 

by Hanbidge
1-31-02
Some of these more recent metal bands from the last few years have been excellent! Take Korn for example...
I prefer the older bands...
Like who?
Spinal Tap are great!
For the last time, Spinal Tap aren't real!
Nevertheless: Woah woah.

 

by Hanbidge
1-31-02
............
Cowabunga!
Disney, what the hell are you watching?
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!
Grow up.
!

 

by Hanbidge
1-31-02
Disney the Pokemon Master comes across an unusual Pokemon...
He throws his PokeBall!
Success!
Hey, that hurt, you childish beeatch!

 

by Hanbidge
1-31-02
In Toys R Us, Disney finds what he's been looking for...
Finally I've found the limited Star Wars chase figure, "Sister-Humpin' Luke Skywalker"!
Hey mister, aren't you a little old for toys?
Do not tempt a Jedi Master, small one, or I shall be forced to smite you with my lightsabre...
...
Now begone lest I use the force to cast you away from myself!
Grow up.

 

by Hanbidge
1-31-02
So I, Steven King, have decided to retire!
What's with the baby?
Ignore the baby. I will retire! Once I've finished the four books, numerous TV specials and countless movies I'm still working on!
What!
Goddammit!
This sucks!

 

by Hanbidge
1-31-02
Shiny Metal Gundam X will destroy the enemy!
Flame Gundam shall burn all!
Gundam Puny Wuss wishes that all war would stop and that Gundam should be sent into the sun!
What? Be quiet!
Gundam Puny Wuss failed!
The world has been detroyed by Gundam! beedeebeedeebeedee!

 

by Hanbidge
1-31-02
Children will watch a cartoon and be influenced by it heavily...
Cowabunga!
Turtle Power!
...but soon the cartoon will be replaced by another...
It's Morphin' Time!
Go Go Power Rangers!
Disney, you are a loser!
Cowabunga!
Turtle Power!

 

by Hanbidge
1-31-02
Tom said "balls"! Huh huh huh!
Heh heh heh!

 

by Hanbidge
1-31-02
Disney is watching TV...
"Gotta catch them all!"
"Pokemon!"
... when Hanbidge stops by for a visit...
Once again Disney, it seems I have come over to see you, only to find you watching some dumb cartoon! What is up with you?
What's up with YOU?
......... Fair enough!
"Pokemon!"

 

by Hanbidge
1-31-02
What really annoys me about stripcreator.com is that annoying "Gabe" character...
Hey!
Not you. The kid in the yellow t-shirt who sits on the bench. Way too many people use that guy. I'm just glad I haven't stooped that low yet...
Oh yeah...
Goddammit...

 

by Hanbidge
1-31-02
YOUR TIME HAS COME
Holy crap! A ringwraith!
I'M NOT A RINGWRAITH
NO-ONE TAKES ME SERIOUSLY SINCE THAT PRATCHETT GUY WROTE THOSE DISCWORLD BOOKS
Holy crap! A ringwraith!

 

by Hanbidge
2-04-02
Hanbidge and Big Dave are talking about music...
I quite like Aerosmith. Especially that "Pink" one. Which do you like, Big Dave?
I like "Walk This Way".
...when Ben arrives...
Hey stupid! It was Run DMC, not Aerosmith! You fool!
SHUT UP!

 

by Hanbidge
2-04-02
Glassy and Disney are geeking out...
I think the new GameCube is going to be excellent! I've already placed an order for one!
I can't wait for Luigi's Mansion! It looks really scary!
...unaware of the danger high above the Earth...
Big Dave, are you ready?
BOMBS AWAY!
EEEEEEEEEK! Mummy save me!
Aaaaaaaargh! I'm too young to die! Waaaaaaaaaaugh!

 

by Hanbidge
2-04-02
Once again, Glassy refuses to accept his defeat!
YOU SAID QUEEN!
I said Jack.
YOU SAID QUEEN!
The time has come for you to die... I'll be back!
Behold Disney! Master of No-Self-Control
I was told you need your scummy leetle beard cut off. I shall use my Katana...
eep

 

by Hanbidge
2-04-02
Some people have normal decisions...
Should I go to College today?
...some people have childish ones to make...
Should I watch kid's TV today?
...others are simple unhygenic!
Should I wash today?
Naaah!

 

by Hanbidge
2-04-02
"It's time I told you the secret of Disney..."
This looks like a job for...
CHILDISH-MAN!
Gosh.
Thank goodness you're here Childish-Man! Here's what we need you to do...
LA LA LA LA I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU!

 

by Hanbidge
2-11-02
Glassy! I have decided that you are too unhygenic! Therefore I shall fumigate you!
Say what?
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Aaaaaaaaaaargh!
Now that I've burnt off the outer layers of your body, you no longer have sweat glands! Result!
my skin! My beautiful skin!

 

by Hanbidge
2-11-02
After being bitten by a rabid child, Cujo 2 is locked up in a hut in the desert. But he eats his way through the door...
Oh no! Cujo 2 has escaped and still has rabies! I'll be eaten!
Froth bubble bubble grrrr!
Someone help me!
All this killing and eating sure has made me thirsty...
But rabies gives you a fear of water! You can't drink because you'll be too scared!
Nevertheless: Woah woah.

 

by Hanbidge
2-11-02
Shiny Metal Gundam X has found his enemy!
Flame Gundam will use his heat vision to destroy those in his path!
Shiny Metal Gundam X is burning!
Mwa ha ha ha!
This show has nothing to do with Metal at all!
"Flame Gundam is the victor! I am unbeatable! I didn't expect to win!"

 

by Hanbidge
2-11-02
Shiny Metal Gundam X has travelled back in time to fight dinosaurs!
Raaaargh?
This cartoon is stupid. Robots can't fight dinosaurs!
"Chlorph!"
But it's not real. So they can pretty much do what they want, as long as Toonami don't butcher it in editing...
Nevertheless: Woah woah.

 

by Hanbidge
2-11-02
"In tonight's news, illegal cat/baby fights are on the increase, in defiance of new police measures to stop it..."
£50 says Tiddles can beat that kid of yours!
Junior is gonna use your cat as a teething ring!
Are you ready to begin, or are you all talk?
Little does he know that I've adding steriods to this milk...
The fuzz! Cheese it!
Aaaaaaaaah!

 

by Hanbidge
2-11-02
"In tonight's news, illegal cat/baby fights are on the increase, in defiance of new police measures to stop it..."
£50 says Tiddles can beat that kid of yours!
Junior is gonna use your cat as a teething ring!
Are you ready to begin, or are you all talk?
Little does he know that I've adding steriods to this milk...
The fuzz! Cheese it!
Aaaaaaaaah!

 

by Hanbidge
2-25-02
Raaaaaaargh! Brains!
Can I help you sir?
Grrrrroaaaargh! (dribble)
I'm sorry, I can't understand you...
Mmmmm? Brains?
I hate foreign customers...

 

by Hanbidge
2-26-02
Big Dave, it appears that I'm running out of ideas...
Have you tried mindless violence?
That sounds like a good idea... I'll see you later...
'kay.
AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

 

by Hanbidge
2-26-02
Now that I have raised my power level to 15% of my maximum strength, I can easily defeat you!
Stupid monkey!
KAMEHAMEHA!
chlorph
That blast used all my strength, but he is beaten!
No I'm not! I am stronger

 

by Hanbidge
2-26-02
Don't panic, the lift will get to the bottom soon, almost there...
I said PULL MY FINGER DAMMIT!

 

by Hanbidge
2-27-02
Aha ha ha! I've escaped from my Microsoft created prison! Now I shall wreck havok on humanity!
Not so fast!
Oh no! Bill Gates!
I own you Clippy!
What's your point?

 

by Hanbidge
2-27-02
That recent "Evil paperclip" strip seemed like a good idea at the time...
...but it quickly plunged into crappiness, beyond my control!
I had no option but to move onto something funnier...
...so I just came up with any old way to finish it. I feel as if I've wated your time and that of others...
Aren't you doing that now?
...shut up...

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