All comics by Hari_Nezumi

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by Hari_Nezumi
7-07-05
Today there will be no merry making. We will have a strip of silence for all those affected by the Britain Bombings.
Well said, Rick.
Hey didja hear that all the victims were diagnost with carpal tunnel syndrom after the attack? They all had terror wrists.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
7-07-05
Are you a friend of Dorothy's?
Fuck you, queer.
No, no, not like that, I mean do you know Dorothy Williams?
Oh, yeah, I do... how did you know?
Chicken: "It started years ago at my old job..."
Hey Dorothy, do you know Pinkie?
Yes.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
7-10-05
Ok, let's finish up this interview with a few questions. Do you smoke?
Nope.
Do you drink?
Sometimes.
Well, Mr. Jones, you're exactly the upstanding kinda guy this business needs; you don't do drugs, you don't drink alcohol--
Oh, I do those. I thought you were asking if I spontaneously combust and if I drink the blood of puppies. I can be such a goof...

 

by Hari_Nezumi
7-10-05
One day, God was bored so he created some guy named Adam.
Wewt.
But God then realized that alone, Adam would never get blown, and then he'd have nothing to jerk off to, so he created the woman.
Hey, how ya doing?
BANG ME.
Hari, I heard you got to teach Sunday School yesterday, How'd it go?
Well, I made the kids want to come to Church every Sunday. Although it MIGHT be for all the wrong reasons...

 

by Hari_Nezumi
7-11-05
I'm here because I'd like you to take a look at my penis for me.
Um, I'm not the doctor, I'm the receptionist.
I know.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
7-11-05
Honey, I'm *hic* home...
This is the 15th night in a row that you've come home late! I've had enough of this shit, I want a divorce!
Please forgive me baby...I swear, I'll make it up to you.
And just how do you plan on doing that?
I'll take the video camera out of the bathroom.
AND I wanna be able to leave the house without covering my face.

 

Peodphiles are just people who like to aim for the smaller things in life.
by Hari_Nezumi, 7-11-05

 

When I cross the street, I do it to get the hooker on the other street corner.
by Hari_Nezumi, 7-12-05

 

by Hari_Nezumi
8-07-05
Well, I'm gonna go outside and have a fag.
Yeah, OK then. See ya, Jake.
Friggin' Brits. They speak too fucking weird.
He wasn't British.
Suck it.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
8-12-05
Breaking news! An epidemic is sweeping the nation! It's called "Cartoonistious Lazinesstious".
It seems that this strange disease only effects cartoonists, making them lazy and unable to finish anything they start.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
8-15-05
Wow! The walls look great! Good job! You really have a knack for painting!
What's wrong, Pedro?
Migraine.
Oh. Anyway--
Oh, and I raped and killed your son.

 

Then, after the grenade exploded, I was set ablaze. I burned to death.
Oh boo FUCKING hoo.
by Hari_Nezumi, 8-22-05

 

by Hari_Nezumi
8-24-05
Come on, baby! Let's get it on!
Oh yeah...this is hot.
Can I go home now?

 

Could you give me a hand?
Nope. When it comes to help, I don't have a leg to stand on.
by Hari_Nezumi, 8-25-05

 

by Hari_Nezumi
9-03-05
*thump* *thump*
OH YEAH!
That felt great.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
9-03-05
Man, I'm up so early. I wonder if the paper's even here yet.
Now wait just a damn minute...
The Pacific Red FIsh isn't native to New Orleans!

 

by Hari_Nezumi
9-03-05
That'll teach you to keep yer mouth, you little stool pidgeon!
Excuse me sir, but do you know where I can find Frank's Donuts?
Uh...yeah...it's down on Pineleaf Street, about three blocks from here.
Thank you.
What the fuck just happened?

 

by Hari_Nezumi
9-03-05
Excuse me, sir?
Yeah?
You dropped this small intestine.
Just toss it on top, here. Try to hook it around the spleen, if you could. Thanks.
It feels good when you do good.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
9-03-05
Finally! I've been waiting for that pizza for an hour!
Captain Oblivious, we need you! Downtown's being attacked by aliens!
So wait...you're NOT the pizza man?
Um...no.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
9-04-05
Hey Hari. Whaddya watchin'?
Some TV movie. I forget the title. I've seen it before, though. It's pretty good. Wanna watch it with me?
Is there any violence, sex, explosions, gays, or death?
Nope, nope, nope, nope, and nope.
Fuck that.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
9-04-05
Sir, I have an idea for a new sitcom.
Really? Pitch it to me, Jenkins.
Well, there's a group of three boys and three girls living in apartments in New York City...
Hmmm...sounds good, sounds good.
...but NONE OF THEM ARE GAY.
Get out.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
9-06-05
Oh God, not again!
Bad dog!
I told you to take Grandma outside every hour!
Hey, it's not my fault The Sims is so damn addicting.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
9-07-05
Vinter, bästa tiden på året.
Hejsan Snögubbe vill du ha en bulle?
Bullar? Är du dum eller? Snögubbar kan inte äta!
LURAD! Inte fan ska du få en bulle inte!
What the fuck are they talking about?

 

by Hari_Nezumi
9-07-05
I, Varg Vikernes, of church burning, murderous, black metal fame, am the most EVIL of all!
No way! I Nergal, Sumerian god of plague, am the most EVIL of all!!!
This just in: the Constitution has just been ammended! Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger will eb running for President in 2008.
ARRRGH! The most EVIL of all!
ARRRGH! The most EVIL of all!

 

by Hari_Nezumi
9-13-05
Hey Frank. How's the "cold turkey" method working for you?

 

GODDAMMIT I SAID HANDS IN THE AIR!!!
by Hari_Nezumi, 9-14-05

 

by Hari_Nezumi
9-18-05
And this little piggie had none.
Oh boy! Here comes my favorite part!
And this little piggie was gay and believed in evolution so God sent him to burn in hell for all eternity to endure endless pain and suffering.
Yay!

 

Dad, I need help. I wanna join stripcreator, but I can't think of a good screenname.
What the fuck are you talking about, Max?
by Hari_Nezumi, 9-30-05

 

by Hari_Nezumi
10-01-05
What the hell was that all about?

 

by Hari_Nezumi
10-12-05
Sir, we've gotten complaints about your "puppet shows" you give the students.
Why?
Well sir, the parents don't think they're "family friendly".
Oh I get it. Some tight wad saw I that had my hand up this fish puppet's "ass" and they think it's anti-Christian or some crap like that, right?
Actually sir, I think they're talking about the part where you jump out and waggle you penis around with "ass candy" written on your chest.
Ah.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
10-13-05
These gas prices are pissing my off.
Oh yeah, me too.
If gas companies aren't responsible enough to find more fucking oil, they should be shut down.
Yeah. It's all their fucking fault we have to pay so much for gas so often.
Wanna go drive about in a col-de-sac for a few hours?
First one to throw up as to blow the winner!

 

by Hari_Nezumi
10-20-05
Goddammit turn around.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
10-20-05
What happened to my son, officer?
Well we're not sure. At the moment it looks like he was stabbed in the neck after being brutally raped.

 

This is because i'm black, isn't it?
I'm serious. I'll nail it to the FUCKING COUNTER.
by Hari_Nezumi, 10-21-05

 

Frank's out sick.
by Hari_Nezumi, 10-28-05

 

by Hari_Nezumi
10-28-05
Hey Karen, wanna see my authentic Communicator?
Fuck off, Trekkie. You'll only get in THESE pants in your dreams.
The Next Day
I have terminal what?
Mycromonthermia. But I CAN save you. I'll need you to remove your clothes and masturbate into this cup. From there we can make a medicine.
*pant* You know...you look familiar...*pant*
Tee hee...someone downstairs is being "beamed up".

 

by Hari_Nezumi
11-03-05
Oh god...I have such a hangover...what did I do last night?
I remember I went to that dinner at the White House to represent Baconia...and I guess I had to many drinks...
Well look who's finally up.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

by Hari_Nezumi
11-04-05
He said it followed him home and now he wants to know if he can keep it.
I guess. It will teach him responiblitly, you know?
OK son, you can keep him. But you have to take care of him!
Yeah yeah, I promise.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
11-08-05
RAR!!! TOBOR CORN-
Hold up. Sorry Toby, but I've never really been scared of you, so don't even try.
Nice try.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
11-11-05
Greetings American People. I appear before you today to address an important issue; America is in peril.
In a few moments, I shall point out the new threat in the Middle-East on the world map to the left once Vice President Cheney arrives.
Ah, here he is now.
I brought the darts and blindfold you asked for.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
11-13-05
We are currently having technical difficulties. We apoligize for this inconvience and have our top men working on the problem. Your comic will be up shortly.
PEANUTS!!! PEANUTS I SAY!!!!
You RAT BASTARD.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
11-18-05
I...I think we're in outer space...I'll check...
AAAAAAAGH!!!

 

by Hari_Nezumi
11-23-05
Bubbles! The humans are polluting our reef! We have to stop them!
You're right, Gil! Let us depart on a periless quest to the human city to stop these evil men from destroying our home!
What were we talking about?

 

by Hari_Nezumi
11-24-05
Wow Hari, that turkey was great.
Yeah, I took a cooking course in...hey...do you hear that? What is it?
Oh my God, how could I forget? Quick! Lock the door! It's here!!!
What's here?
THE CHRISTMAS SEASON!!!
PRESENTS DECORATIONS WORRY WORRY STRESS STRESS!!!!

 

by Hari_Nezumi
12-12-05
Hi there! I'm Frosty the Snowman! I was brought to life by a magical hat!
I'm here to help spread Christmas cheer through song and dance!
Hari, why is there a snowman's head on a pike outside your door?
Just spreadin' Christmas cheer.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
12-15-05
FORUM WORLD
FUNNYBUNNY16: wundergUrL, i cant believe you'd do such a thing. we're "paired up!"
wundergUrL: but BUNNY, i swear! i didnt cheat on you!
FORUM WORLD
chkn_16: dont lie gUrl! kevin700 told us you two had a AIM convo the other day!
robob: yeah! he told us what you guys did! we know you used...the HEART EMOTICON!
Hari, why do you go to those stupid forums all the time?
They're one of the few things in this world that make ME feel cool.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
12-19-05
Well Mr. Johnson, it seems that you're all set here. You're ready for your home loan...DAMMIT, HE'S GONE! LOST ANOTHER LOAN TO DITECH!
Actually, I was in the bathroom. But that's a good idea about Ditech.com. Thanks!
In other news, the case of the death of a local loan officer was ruled "suicide" today...

 

by Hari_Nezumi
12-19-05
Even though we seem like lowly defaults, we actually have many important duties that we must--
Dude! You TOTALLY just said "duty"!
Oh man, I did, didn't I?
That was fucking HILARIOUS.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
12-21-05
Why, hel--
PWND!!!1

 

by Hari_Nezumi
12-27-05
Yeeeeeeeah...I got nothin'.

Showing page 2.

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