All comics by Icewing_X

 

Benched - Holiday Special by Icewing_X 12-16-01
'Tis that season... I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus undearneath the misseltoe. Then, she pulled down his draws, and he called her a skanky ho.	I wonder what my dad would say... If he saw...	Santa getting a B,J.... From my maw.

 

Benched - A Christmas Story by Icewing_X 12-17-01
Happy Holidays! Scrooge! You will be visited by three men on Christmas Eve. What?	The man from anal past. The man from penial present. And, the man from oral future. All shall enter your bed for your bahumbuging of the holiday season and take advantage of your sleeping form! Why can't they be chicks?	Only Santa gets three hoes on Christmas Eve. Damn that jolly old pedophile...

 

Benched - More Chrimmus Joy by Icewing_X 12-19-01
Being naughty... Over the white river and through her woods... To my lover's box we go!	My horse knows the way... To buck and sway...	Through that tight and flighty... HO!

 

Benched - Back to Your Regularly Scheduled Programing by Icewing_X 12-25-01
The Mayhem Returns Look! Up in the sky! It's a...tit?	It's a tampon! No, it's A NICE PIECE OF ASS!	Wait... Dude... That's your mom. Damn her sexiness...

 

Benched - With a Vengeance! by Icewing_X 2-08-02
Dude! Someone's been copying our strip! How sad.	Tell me about it. We should go kick some ass! Eh...	Or, you know, we could just, like, sit here and do nothing... That gets my vote.

 

Benched - Yes, Another! by Icewing_X 2-08-02
You know-- Nope, I don't know. Sorry.	--I've taking mind reading lessons from this voodoo lady. I can read your every thought now, just like an open book. I doubt that seriously.	Want proof? Right now, you're thinking about...oh, god, dude. That's WRONG. Osama Bin Laden and Martha Stewart? Jesus Christ! Actually, Jesus had nothing to do with it.

 

Cferra's Crib - The Conclusion...Or Is It? by Icewing_X 2-09-02
Deep in the heart of Random's House... Listen, um, Random.. I'm really not sure I want to see this pet monkey of yours. I mean, sure, a hairless monkey isn't something you see everyday, but... Oh, don't be silly! You'll love it. He tastes like chicken...well, cock, anyway...er...	Just then, a gas main broke under the quaint home, causing a huge explosion! GAAAAAAAAAH! IT BURNS!! Oh! Oh yes! You make me so hot! Yeah, right there, baby! Oh, that's the sweet spot! Oh, oh, yes, God, YES! Harder! Faster! Hotter! Ooooooh!	Umm, can you please just shut up and die? It'd make this a lot less painful. I'll see what I can do, but only because you're a nice piece of ass.

 

Just Something... by Icewing_X 2-09-02
Somewhere... What the fuck are you supposed to be? I'm Chamber, bloke.	Somewhere... No way. Chamber's a dude with some bio-chemical shit spewing from his chest and face. You're a walking cigarette. It's a bloody costume, ye wank.	Somewhere... Why would you need a disguise, dude? Afriad of getting mobbed by rabid fangirls or some shit? Bollocks to that. It's so Austen can't find me and fug me up when 'e takes over Uncanny.

 

The Best Tour...Ever! by Icewing_X 2-09-02
Hello and welcome. Wizelcomes to dah wondahful worl' of moduhn historizy. On my lef' be the firs' embronzed man. Don' min' him. He always stiff 'round dah ladeez. Eep.	An', ovah he'e be's a a monument t' Fight Club. Why he be gettin' his ass kicked by his own hand beyond me, dawgs. I'd do it fuh him jus' as eazay. I am Jack's Cold Sweat. Bob, Bob had bitch tits. Single Serving Friend.	Las' but not leashed, this the sweetitest thang since my granny oatmeal raisum cookie. I presen' da...Firs' Rabbit Hookah! These buck teeth don't munch for free. Carrot sucking is two dollars per inch. Want to see my fluffy cotton? That's extra.

 

Benched - More, Oh, More by Icewing_X 2-09-02
Hey, hey, we're the Monkeys. So, I've been thinking... You have no idea how much that scares me.	People say we monkey around. When I get older, I want to be the Chief Nut Inspector at Planters. Or maybe the first squirrel news reporter. Or a stunt man for those "When Animals Attack" specials. Mostly Nut Inspector, though. Dandy.	People also say Dubya isn't an idiot. Clearly, their opinions don't count. What about you? What do you want to be when you grow up, man? Taller.

 

Benched Special: Free Stylin' by Icewing_X 2-10-02
Sup, peeps? I wrote this rhyme. Figured I'd share it with you in due time. Pimpin' my shit in my Rolls Royce. I'm here now, bitch, so you best rejoice.	Shows me a glimpse of her bare hide, just to hop on and get to get a ride of a Lifetime, television for women. Don't represent 'cuz I'm just chillin'. Lay her on her back before I release the nuts from my sack. She wants to snack, but damn she whack, so I give her a smack.	tupid ho, but worth the blow, you know. I smell the skunk as I release my spunk in the junk in her trunk like a Hindu priest or just a Monk. Aaaaalvin, Simon, and Theadore, don't get any from their neighbors, three sisters, all straight whores.

 

Come Hell or High Waters #1 by Icewing_X 2-15-02
With Cferra passed away after an eventful night at Random's house, Wubing now wanders aimlessly...well, moreso than usual anyway. psi , pal ! what a wubing a DEW like a MOUNTHIM withups a friend who a DEADS ? pehap corrects a STORMS stuffs from a eBAY like a OLDBAY withups a season ring ?	oic ! you a STINKLEE likes a JUBES not a BOOBS cos she a FLATS - haha ! Hell-oh, confused Asian she-male type thing. I am Mr. Scratch, Apollyon, Beelzebub, Cloot, The Prince of Darkness. But, you may know me best as...THE DEVIL!	you not a SICKHERYET just a DUMBASH - la ! I a WUBING not a BLING cos not get amy jo a johnson not evlim a SAWSAGE , also a TESSA , lemming computer , who a ASSLET blacktowards - haha ! This looks like the makings of a disasterous friendship. Mwahaha hahahhahahaha*cough* *hack*hahaahahah. Oh, my back is killing me.

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