All comics by Juan_the_egghole

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You know, I've always been annoyed by that stupid, fricken' rabbit, I think i'll kill it tonight.
What? I thought we had something speacial! I'm gonna get my boyfriend to kill you.
Oh, double shit
So, you've been foolin' with my girl, eh?
Oh, triple shit
Well, enjoy your last 3 seconds on Earth.

 

In the robot's "secret" lair
Ok, stupid-heads, the war is going more feirce, and we seem to be losing, probably because our president HIRED STUPID MONKEY ROBO BUTT-er...nevermind.
Anyways, what do you think we should do, general?
...
I say we give them flowers!

 

I am a mouse
I am a Cheese puff
Yummy

 

I just pulled out my splein
I wish I had a pony named 94
Are you my pony?

 

I wonder where the chimp God could be?
Maybe he's in the truck heading straight for me.
Welcome to Hell!
It's as hot as hell down here!

 

You know, this is what bush siad:
*Pretend this guy is george bush*
Attention everyone! I will promise to make the worls a better...er, place.
But this is our world now:
Mr.Jackass, can you pass me my pack-o-ciggerates?
MINE! *runs away*

 

I feel like pooping in my mouth.
I want to be a power ranger once I grow up.
HEY! WAIT! WHO STOLE MY TACO!!!
KICK ASS!

 

Forky Mot SOELD Enchak FOOYA MARION!
FAIRPLKY KDKG KANDLEPY KID SOOOP
I'm still getting paid for this, right?
Look at my ass or I'll shove a munkey down you orcles tube!

 

I'm playing a video game.
I like barbie dolls
This cvideo game is hooked up to a trash can.

 

After a night of drunkness
EEW! DID WE SLEEP TOGETHER?!
EEEEWWW!!
After saying,"EEEW" for 5 hours...
Welp, I gotta go. Bye sis'
Bye!
Meanwhile...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I have found Chickens location! Now, my army of robots will destroy him!!!
Shut tha fuck up, yo.

 

After killing that stupid rabbit's boyfriend, Mark retreats into his secret base
Think, Mark, think. Where can that fwickin' wabbit be?
Woh no! I'm talking wunny! And wow wan I breath underwater?
YOU...
It was soo romantic once you both were fighting over me, AND YOU WON! So, here's your prize...*Starts kissing Mark, mark nails her right in the butt*

 

POOP
I am a jackass
I am tarzan.
POOP
POOP in me' sandwhich
I expected a care-bear
I expected Micheal Jackson.

 

WITH THIS HAMMER, I WILL MAKE PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi!
Who the hell are you?
HEY! WHO STOLE MY TACO???
Err, forget it.

 
What's that your drawing?
It's a tyon.

 

How this converstation started, remains a mystery.
Yes, I agree, now's a GREAT time to plant cucumbers.
What the hell does that have to do with my missing clothes?
*sigh*, now i'm going to have to explain it again.
My butt itches.
So, do we have a deal?
No. Mr.Goat guy, i'd like to introduce you to a friend of mine, named Bob/

 

Wow, same thing happend to my brother!
Yeah, weird, huh? Who knew girrafes could be soo deadly?
So, what's wrong with your bro?
You mean sister, right?
...
Hey, don't you own that watermelon sause factory?

 

I have a elphant named dog.
Weird! I have a dog named elephant!
Weird! I love animals, don't you?
Yeah.
...
Yeah, I'll never forget the time I made-out with a dolphin.

 

...I hated it once those robo ninja monkey's disected me. They made me look like micheal jackson.
Well. I'm glad I got out of their spaceship, it took me years to look back to normal.
That reminds me of when I coverd myself in butter. Then, I bacame BUTTER MAN! Along with my side-kick, Bacon Boy!!!

 

I always cover my balls
Why?
I'm always scared that pizza aliens will come and shoot me right in the balls.

 

Uh, I think I'd better go home.
You can't.
Why?
I burnt it down last down last night.

 
Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, unlike you.

 
Roses are blue, violets are red. If you believe that, then you got rocks in the head.

 

I'm pregnant.
Wha...? I thought you are a boy!
No, I'm gay.
...
But I don't know how I got pregnant. I think it has something to do with the train set I humped the other day...

 

You done?
Yeah, I had to go bad *fart*
Wait, I don't remember a bathroom in the church.
Bathroom? Oh no, my friend, I went under the alter.

 

I am here.
I feel like a garbage can
I'm going to go ask the shoe store for watermelon sauce

 

How's it like to be a devil?
Eh, it's okay. I guess...
How is it like to be a jack-ass?

 

I pee'd in this bag.
And I made a turd.
I shall call it...MINI TURD!!!
Excuse me, while I find a nice, quiet place to puke

 

We join Osma as he hides in a bathroom. Not just any bathroom, the longest bathroom in the world. Yessiry, it takes 2 years to go all the way across...
Boy, where am I? How many years have I been traveling? 10? 7? Ap? Oooh, I shouldn't have eaten that last beetle.
...And he's very hungry, the only thing he can eat is rocks, beetles, and toilet paper. He also keeps having hallusinations.
Hey, is that Britney Spears over there?
Hi! Britney! Can I have your Autograph?

 
Eew, you pooted!

 
Wait, this isn't my space ship.

 

I'd think by now you'd kill me.
Yeah, I would've, but your okay.
DIE, SUCKA!!!

 

Did you take my tater tots?
What?
What?
What?
Trust me, it's going to go on like this for hours.
What?
What?

 
C'mon, you stupid bird, you have to come out sometime...

 

by Juan_the_egghole
10-11-05
LLLOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLZZZRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!11
I'M A FISH!!
I'M A T-REX!!
I'M A GOOFY GOOBER YEAH!!
RAWR!! I'M GOING TO MELT YOUR FACE OFF!!!
NOT UNLESS IRELEASE MY ARMY OF MONKEYS!!
LOOK!! I'M A PRETTY BUTTERFLY!!
NOW I'M THE CAT IN THE HAT
NOW I'M A CHOO CHOO!!!

 

Alright, give me that penny you ough me, or I'll murder you with a spoon!
by Juan_the_egghole, 10-11-05

 

by Juan_the_egghole
10-11-05
We join our hero's as they finish their waffles
We're leaving that son of a planet, so now, we've got a big adventure ahead of us!
How are we going to operate this spaceship if it didn't even come with a manuel?
Just push all the buttons and see what happends.
Hey, anymore waffles left?

 

by Juan_the_egghole
10-13-05
Where the Hell are we?
Why you asking me?
YOU FORGOT TO TAKE A MAP!!!
I was too busy picking my butt.
God, We're gonna die.
Hey, you'd forget to get a map too if YOU had some serious butt-picking to do.

 

by Juan_the_egghole
10-13-05
Hmm, it seems this place had been destroyed.
Ya' think?
I think I should be Leader.
But I'm taller!
True, but I'm shorter. Now, get arid of this ridicoulous screensaver and let's go!
Darn, he's good.

 

I'm never gonna go sky-diving with you again, cause' you FORGOT OUR PARACHUTES!!!
Hey! I'm a monkey, not your fiancial advisor!
by Juan_the_egghole, 10-13-05

 

by Juan_the_egghole
10-13-05
Moo.
I love to chew my nipples off.
I pooted.
Why, gee. That's the nicest thing anyone has ever siad to me.

 

by Juan_the_egghole
10-13-05
Excuse me sir, I'm looking for Donald Duck and Santa Clause.
I WEAR PANTS!!!
OH MY GOD!!! ME TOO!!!
WE HAVE SO MYUCH IN COMMON!!!
I'M NOT WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR!!!
OMG!!! ME NEITHER!!!

 

by Juan_the_egghole
10-13-05
Okay, we're in enemy territory now, so don't make a sound.
OOOHH!! LOOK!!! A PENNY!!
!!!!!
Hey, what's that thing flying towards us?
It looks like a bullet with butterfly wings.

 

by Juan_the_egghole
10-13-05
Oh noes! Zing has been captured by his enemy's!
Keep on going!!!
Now, it's up to Fart, Zings pet monkey, to save him!
C'mon, move it or I'll vaporise you!!
I hope Fart doesn't eat all the chips.
Yup, Zing's doomed.
I WANNA RIDE A PONY!!!

 

by Juan_the_egghole
10-13-05
We join our Ex-Hero, Fart, as he watches TV instead of saving Zing.
I'm gonna watch TV.
Your watching The Family Learning Channel.
Yeah, I'd rather save Zing.
Now, angry ticks fire out of my nipples.

 

by Juan_the_egghole
10-14-05
I do.
I do.
Priest: You may now kiss the bride.
My dreams are getting way too gay.

 

by Juan_the_egghole
10-14-05
Where are we going again?
I don't know.
I hope we're going to Mcdonalds.

 

by Juan_the_egghole
10-14-05
So, what's our next destination?
Let me check.
The sun.
Isn't that the place where they sell cheese?

 

by Juan_the_egghole
10-14-05
1 second later.
Dada.

 

by Juan_the_egghole
10-14-05
Yar.
Woot.
...
Your weird.
At least I'm not Bacon!
Help! My skin is evaporating!

 

by Juan_the_egghole
10-14-05
You look like my Dad once he dresses like a woman with chicken problems.

Showing page 2.

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