All comics by Juan_the_egghole

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For years, the king knong overlord had wars with the robots.
What's that exploding sound?
I think it's my butt.
This is they're storys.
I need a haircut
Hey, i'm done with king kongs wall, whats his next order?
He wants the cheese monsters removed from his room.
ok...

 

We join this sad chicken, as he's about to leave home.
welp, i have to escape my pen, i just can't live there anymore.bye bye, all my friends.
you see that, barky?a alone chicken out in the night!he's so dead!he'll make a great stew!
you know this plan won't work, do you?
hey!where you going?

 

*sniff* i'll miss my girlfriend, earl, doey, juan, and dudey.*sniff*
hey!look in my bag!
no!i'll just have drink and drown my sadness in drunkness.
well, i'll buy you one!
So, chicken and his new friend, Poop guy, discuss his past.
...so that's pretty much the story.
wow, i can feel your pain, brother.now excuse me, i'm going to throw eggs at someones car.

 

i just got this letter in the mail.it's from my mom.SHE SENT ME A NAIL AND HAMMER!
so?
on this one, she says not to waste it.
why do you think i care?
because, i need you to write to her: "don't worry, i won't waste it"
DIE ALIEN TRSH!

 

hey parica!
what?
where are we?
we're in heaven!
welcome to hell, what's your name?
hell?oh boy!i can't wait to see what sexy devils they have here!oh, and my names poopy pantz.

 

hey, stick man, did you here that my munkey got murdererd?
hmm...he did?
who do you think did it?
i dunno
well, tell me once you find out who it is.
ok, now excuse me, i'm gonna murder more munkeys.

 

hey, wanna go camping mr.stinkybutt?
sure, whatever.let me go get my things.
ahhhh!it's dark!and where's mr.stinkybutt?
police officer!i'm lost!
i've heard that one before.your coming with me for breaking into a millatary base while i'm making out with a squerril.

 

i'm wearing a bra
shut up, brother.
it's pink
i'm gonna tell mom, and she's gonna make you take it off!
so, your wearing a bra too, eh?
yup.let's go kill my sister.

 

i need help.
i can give you help, oh, alot of help.
no, i mean, how do you bake cheese?
well, let's see...
oh, and bye the way, the cops are here to take you in.
dammit!oh well...bye!

 

where's my cheese?
yeah...
who are you?
yeah...
your a big fat dumb head.
yeah...

 

WE NEED ANOTHER CAT!
er, bag, i want to tell you some thing.it's important.
NOT NOW! WE HAVE A SHOW TO RUN!
but, it's really important!
...
i love you.

 

ooh!look!a bench!i'm going to talk to it!
sooo...are you busy on friday?

 

hey billy, where you going?
eh, the usual, i'm going to play with the troll.
oh, really.i'm going to cover my girlfriend in butter.
...
long story.

 

yo, stick man.i want to experiment on you.
wow!the wall is talking to me!
um, no.it's me.
i know!what's your name!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
THATS IT WALL.I'M GONNA NAIL YOU!

 

i'm super-hero jane!
i'm wong-thong!
...
so you wear thongs!?
don't make fun of me!

 

yo, president bob.
wha'?
let's go to homestar.com!
why should i?
I'M GONNA EAT YOUR HEAD OFF NOW!

 

i wanna cheese.i wanna cheese.i wanna cheese.i wanna cheese.i wanna cheese.i wanna cheese.i wanna cheese.i wanna cheese.
dude, if you were'nt one of santa's reindeer, i would pound you.
i know what you are, but what am I?hmm?
How genuis

 

Dr.marfo, i'm ready for my test.
excellent, i'll just ask you some questions.
1.14 2.ciggarette's 3.smoking
1.how many ciggarates do you eat a day? 2.what diet are you on? 3.what's your job?
4.how much toilet water do you drink a day?
...

 

mommy, today a reindeer bothered me and pooped all over my shoulder.
that's nice deer.
NICE?!WTF IS THE SIZE OF YOUR BRAIN?
i'd say about your size.

 

woa!the war is getting out of hand!
hinga-thinga-thurgen!
quickly!while we're still alive!
don't worry!i put a force sheild around us!
this is your fault!
hey!it's not my fault someone sold me a fake sheild that killed us and put us in hell!

 

yo, chick, whattya say we-
don't talk to me!
pweese!pweese!pweese!
that's it!i'm gonna put the hurt on ya'!
dangit!i'm dead!

 

hi!i'm here for you!your coming to me to hell!
i don't wanna go!i have kids to teach!
poop!
wha?
have you noticed the last 3 comics hava been about hell?
ditto

 

i'm here to turn your town into bacon!
why>it's already destroyed!
i know!
me too!
i'm just hungry!

 

beep!boop!boop!beep!
ooh!i have to go pee!but i can't take myeyes off the robots!
can't hold it!
oh no!i just pee'd my pants!

 

i...i...I NAILED THE WALL!
it's ok.i'm sure you'll find another-er, wall.
yeah, i have to look on the bright side.
i don't know.
wait, what're you doing in school anyways?

 

i wil totally kill you!
heh, i'd like to see you try!
really?
yeah!
hmm...well, he siad he wanted to see me try.

 

This is mark.he has a crappy job.
*sigh* i hate my job.
MARK!WHY AIN'T YOU WORKING?!
But mark has another job...
...as a killer.

 

yo, let's go pee on someones cat.
wow.your really gross.
ya' think so?
yeah!
then congratulations!this will be your last few minutes on earth!
then i will like to thank:pat12q, weird_4, sheldon, banana, and Getinthevanihavecandy!

 

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
dude!your scaring me's!
hello?you knoiw your staring at a fake house, right?

 

ooh yeah!my life rox!
could you move?i can't see micheal jackson's boobs
no!
you asshole!
i'm not a asshole, you are!
this is the worst comic ever.

 

Obey your mother and go get me a peice of bread!
mom, your ugly.
farty face, we already had this talk, remember?
Well, i wnat some requests.
what are they, son?
I want you to marry santa clause!

 

A PUMPKIN!
I WILL EAT YOU!
FIRST I'LL GET A FORK!

 

mrs.pweety, can i go to the bathroom?
no!
pweese?
no!not until you murder a monkeyu, throw it in a pit, fart 10 times on a old lady, then make-out with a 90 year old man.
ok...wait, what?

 

well, i better say bu-bye to my chess buddy.
bu-bye.i wish i could play chess with you one more time.
Gee, thanks.now excuse me, i'm going to devoure your brains, then smoke 10 ciggerates.

 

whoops!i killed my cheese!
where's the bathroom?
I FEEL LIKE MY BUTTS GONNA BLOW!!!!

 

young kids like you shouldn't be drinking!it's against the rules!so...$56 for that. $74 for egging my car. $99 for...er, because i hate you.
another 3 reasons to die.
WHAT!? $63 for saying that. $75 because...er, i hate you, and another $32 fir making out with your mom.
This guy needs a breathe mint.he's probably gonna be in solintary confinement!
ok, now excuse me, i'm gonna murder nick studios.
heh heh, that sucker doesn't know that i'm the presidents daughter!

 

After a long night of drunkness, egging someones car, making-out with a 90 year old man, and goosing the police, chicken goes on a trip to mars.
ooh! pushy!
can you please land me on mars?
sure thing, tyler.
it's chicken.and uh, ain't you driving?we're going to saturn.
that's what they want you to think, moose.
FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!! IT'S CHICKEN!

 

ah, nothing like going trash skying on the canyon.
oh, fucko! Stick man!
whattyou want?
To be continued...
follow me...
what if i don't want too?

 

I told you to put me on mars!!!!say, where's he go?hey, what's daffy doing here?
where'th my'th-errrr!!!i hate'th thith frickin' lithp!
...i was talking to a munkey and thought it was daffy duck?
...
hey!your my sister!
i know!let's get a drink!

 

hey cheese, i'm going to have a party, want a invitation?
i'd rather eat a giant cactus full of hot lava.say, how does a stupid person get a cool, giant mansion?
HEY!I'M NOT STUPID!
oh, please, you make homestarrunner look like einstein...

 

kangie!i thought we had something speacial!
yeah, right, toots.
OMG!LOOK OVER THERE!
WHERE!AHHH!DON'T LET IT EAT ME!
heh heh, jokes on you!

 

dad, i found a dog, i want to call him wal-mart, can i keep him?
no!
awww, pweeeese?
I SIAD NO!don't make me bring out the killer squerril!
i knew i should've called him target.
shinga mooka florba!

 

Hey, fart face, wanna go to a party i'm having?
sure! Bastard...
Hey, cheese, want to go to a party?
No.
Ooh!It burns!
Heh, heh, i'm so mean!

 

Hmm...I'm bored.I know!I'll kill somebody!
What the hell?
Must...get...ciropractor!
I think i'll let you off, I think i lost my appitite to kill.
Can you brush my fake cosmies?

 

MARRRK!! Why do I never see you working? You slacker!
*sigh* I hate my job. Maybe i should quit my job.
Or maybe kill that stupid robot.
No! Cheese, STOP!!! That's not the right ingrediants!

 

I am in space.
There's a computer in front of me
I will eat it
*Gulp*

 

Attention! Attention! let's go boy! Hey! Are you pC007?
Yeah
Open that package!
O.K
Our work here is done. Uh-oh.
Not quite! I'm still alive!!!

 

I am hungry.
Give me some cheese or i'll shoot you.
I know, I'll eat my brain.

 

Well, another beutiful night to kill. Who shall i kill first?
Hey mister, are you gonna chop wood?
Ho ho, I'll chop your wood! Yeah! I'll kill that annoying asain girl!
Well? Don't make me get out The Bunny!!!
Oh shit.
You promised, but you didn't brush them!

 

Ah', everyone's havin' a good time at my party!
Hey! that's my soap!
OW! YOU SHOULDN'T STEAL FROM OTHER PEOPLE, LIL' MAN!
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
As I told you, everyone's havin' a good time at my party.
AHHHH!!! MY SPLEIN!

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