All comics by Killborg

Profile

 

by Killborg
10-16-03
So..uh..Kirsten, what powers do you have?
Well, since you ask...I've been trying some stuff out, and I can Magically Transform...but only into some stuff...
*TZZIINNG!!* ...like a cat...
*TZZINNG!* ...or a fairy...I'm sure it'll prove useful, somehow...
Woah, Waitaminute, How come your Boobies are, like, practically the same size as when you're NOT a fairy?
Well....I was having surgery ANYWAY....

 

by Killborg
10-16-03
So..."Dr. Smartloud"... What's our First act as a super-team?
WELL...I THOUGHT WE MIGHT KILL THE PRESIDENT.
OH MY GODS!! The president is my friend BURT! who could you think such a thing??!
He's right... we're going up against a midget T-rex, We're gonna need some FIREPOWER!
HMMMMM....

 

by Killborg
10-18-03
AW, COME ON! AT LEAST ADMIT YOU'RE JEALOUS OF BURT!
But I'm not! I'm happy someone can overcome extinction and rise up to be president!
...
Admit it, there is nothing you can say to make me jealous of Burt.
PRESIDENTIAL GRADE HOOKERS.
THE BASTARD!!!!!!

 

by Killborg
10-18-03
Hmmm... Forgive me, but for a "presidential grade hooker", you kinda look like a skank.
Jus' Gimme a chance, Mr. Pres.
WOOHAAAA!!!
Very well... that seems to be in order... send in the next one, would you?
Okey Dokel, Mr. Pres.

 

by Killborg
10-24-03
Ah, Quit yer whinin! lots of people have to kill thier presidential best freinds!!
I...I just never thought I'd have to use my super-powers for pain! I hate my powers! I wish i'd never got them!!!
You JACKASS!! I'd give my right arm to have your powers!!!
OWWW!! so...when do I get your powers?
Uhh...Angst.E, some guy just came in and chopped of your right arm...you should be a little more shocked...do you know how long that took me to set up?

 

by Killborg
10-24-03
WE MUST GO FORTH IN TOTAL SILENCE AND DESTROY THE PRESIDENT!!!!
you jerks think you can handle that?
Mecha Angst.E.Teen is up to any challenge!! 0WN4G3!!!!
I'm uneasy about using fairy-cat magic for evil.
I'm uneasy about this guy standing behind me.
if it helps, pretend I'm not here.

 

by Killborg
10-25-03
SO, ARE WE ALL CLEAR? THE FIVE OF US ALL TAKE DIFFERING ROUTES INTO THE WHITEHOUSE...
.....fart?
...THE SIX OF US, USING DIFFERING ROUTES...
Whoo!! I'm in!!! I'm popular!!!!!!
WITH TAGALONG-FAT-GUY'S ROUTE BEING THE ONE MARKED "SACRAFICIAL DISTRACTION"

 

by Killborg
10-25-03
Tagalong-fat-guy's story:
I will NOT mess up... I will NOT mess up...I will NOT mess up...
WhoOOoo!!! Ticking burger!!
*tick tick tick tick*
WAAAAAGH! bad burger!!!
Oh, man! what's the betting I'll get the blame for THAT?

 

by Killborg
10-25-03
Kitty chick Kirsten's story:
Uh oh!! security!!
What the hell? a NEKOJIN!? am I having anime dreams again?
I must use "ultimate kitty magic furball (tm)"!!!! *HACK* *magic sprakles*
Aw man, she's trying so hard...I'd hate to upset her...
YAYY!!! VICTORY!!!
ARG! I am defeated! the keys are on my belt...wait, I'll hand 'em to you...

 

by Killborg
10-27-03
Mecha Angst .E. Teen's story:
OH MAN!! you again?!?!
Well...I do WORK here....
hey, remember that time you turned me into a Flaming chicken, and I cured your hangover?
Hah! that was a HOOT, Dude! what the hell were we ON!!?
Hey, Whaddya say we get wasted again? the presidential bar is this way.
Alright...but don't expect me to cure your hangover this time!! heh heh... capture the B33R...

 

by Killborg
10-27-03
amazing slimerman/Carple's story:
So, like, my brother gives ME the roof entrance, but he KNOWS I cant fly, so I have to stretch all the way up here...
*sigh*
...and I bang my shin on the wall, bash my head, And my brother KNOWS I hate heights anyway...I suffer from vertigo, Y'think HE cares? NOOOO...
Syanide pill...where are you?
...It's like, everything he does is to inconvenience me, it's sibling rivalry gone crazy! but still, it hepls to talk to someone, Thanks, buddy.
*death rattle*

 

by Killborg
10-27-03
DR. Smartloud's story:
MY SECRET TUNNEL IS A SUCSESS! YET I FEEL IT NECASSARY TO HURT SOMEONE. IT WOULD INCREASE THE DRAMA OF MY INEVITABLE CONQUEST.
he said what now?
EXCELLENT.

 

by Killborg
10-27-03
Emberly's story:
I crawled up the inside of a toilet. big whoop. to fill space we bring you this:
---==##{[TIME DUDES!]}##==---
Our mission is to travel back in time and put right the mistakes of the past.
our mission is DAMN BORING!!
What about that time we met Hitler?
oh yeah, he was cool.

 

by Killborg
10-27-03
TIME DUDES!!
I suppose you'r ewondering why I, head of Time Dude Central, asked you here.
Actually, we were wondering how you knew time had altered when our present is based upon the past
I was wondering what my own urine tastes like.
If I turn around and drop m'pants, you can clearly see that THIS WASN'T THERE THIS MORNING!!!
SWEEET! can I touch it?
eeeeeEEEEWWwwww..

 

by Killborg
10-27-03
TIMEDUDES!!
...So then, I bite the guy. Not 'cause I wanna... on principle.
It's so cool that we have a time machine! We can just slack all day, and do our work later, whenever the hell we feel like it!
you realise that by not fixing the time problem NOW, we are allowing it to grow, soon everyone may have a tentacle growing out of their butt.
I say we strip of to show that we havent got Butt tentacles!! VALLARIE FIRST!!
I, Darco, am inclined to agree.
*sigh* I hate you, Monkey.

 

by Killborg
10-28-03
I honestly did.
Oh boy!! You have gotta be THE most delicious thing I've ever eaten!
*sigh*
hey buddy... can I get a little more shoulder? Thanks.
again?
do you have any ears left? Dang...I'll take some toes, then.
it's not easy being Soylent Green.

 

by Killborg
10-28-03
tell me if it is.
THERE HE IS!!!
Ooh, Ooh! I see him too!
Yeah...He's behind the fat guy. Big deal.
D'OH! I thought he WAS the fat guy.
huh?
Oh, for Dad's sake... "Finding Jesus" is NOTHING LIKE playing "Where's Waldo?" !!!

 

by Killborg
10-28-03
w00t! w0000t!!!!1!!! PARTY!!! *hic* Hahaha....*BELCH*
yeah... you wait there while I find the trapdoor switch...
argh...I am defeated...just go into that room marked "TRAP" O.K, kitty?
YAAY! Vicrory!! ...Uh...O.K.
SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR BROTHER!!!! LOOK! A DOOR MARKED "TRAP"!!!!
...ever since we were kids, He'd... Door? Oh, allright then. lead the way.

 

by Killborg
10-28-03
YOU THERE! TAKE ME TO THE PRESIDENT! I AM CLEARLY SMART AND LOUD ENOUGH TO BE IMPORTANT!!!
Uh... yeah....He's through that door... the one marked "TRAP"... it's, uh, reverse psychology. yeah.
AGH! YOU JUST CRAWLED OUTTA THE TOILET!! ...bet ya one stale donut you cant get into the room marked "TRAP", though.
YOUR'E ON!!
in life, I was Tagalong-Fat-Guy... now, I am merely what you see before you.
Aw crap. Where can I put this Crud? in the room marked "TRAP"? why not!

 

by Killborg
10-28-03
I get the feeling this didn't work out.
o/' 5H0W M3 T3H W4Y T0 G0 H0M3...o/' *HIC!*
Well, my powers weren't useful...yet...
Hmmm... What smells... SO DAMN GOOD?
STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!

 

by Killborg
10-28-03
AH! time for me, the head of Time Dudes Central, to sit down!
uh, dude, watch where you're sitting.. no, NO! OH DEAR DARK GODS!!!
AGH! Could it be that I, the head of T.D.C, have a tentacle coming out of my butt? DAMN THIS TIMELINE!!
Ew... so thats how it happened... I'm not so happy about having a time machine any more.
*sob* Poor Cthulhu! he had three days till retirement!!
you organic lifeforms and your orfaces seem illogical to me.

 

by Killborg
10-29-03
---=={[TIMEDUDES!]}==---
I extend greetings. I am Darco. A synthetic humanoid from the far future. my intellect is marred only by those who do not understand it.
HI, DARCO!
HI! I'm Vallarie, I hail from the distant past, where I was smart. Here, I'm comparatively dumb...but I'm still a WARRIOR! RAAASK!!
HI, VALLARIE!
I'm the monkey. They call me 'Monkey', I was saved from a doomed space mission to join the Timedudes. My hobbies include throwing poop and public masturbation.
GET OFF THE STAGE, YOU DAMN DIRTY APE!!

 

by Killborg
11-08-03
--={[TIMEDUDES!]}=--
now, every organization needs an opposing faction, right? For every force to preserve, there is a force to destroy.
Thats right, Pete. that's where 'CHRONONINJA' comes in.
I understand that you resent the Timedudes' stance on 'repairing' time, is that true?
Indeed, we believe that if time IS unravelling, who are we to say it shouldn't? in fact, we Chrononinja attempt to ACCELERATE the degradation of time.
***SQUEEE!!!***
Some would question those motives...
Then again, the changes we create in the past could not possibly be noticed in the future, for example, you are a paperclip...and always have been....hah...HAHA!! BWAH HA HA HA!!!

 

by Killborg
11-08-03
--={[TIMEDUDES!]}=--
this is STUPID! we all KNOW dinosaurs were killed by a big ASS ...'steriod
We have a limited time before we return, in that time I will show you that the dinosaurs were killed by...
(Darco)"...peer pressure."
You're a MAN, ain't ya? What kinda MAN don't SMOKE??
yeah...yeah, COURSE I smoke!! gimme one, I'll show ya!
MEANWHILE...
Boy... this is great! I can FEEL the tiredness flowing out of me.. I can take on the World!! I'm gonna share this with everyone!
Yes...A coffee addiction is less lethal than a tabbaco addiction...go forth...and ENDURE!! HA HA HA!!!!!

 

by Killborg
11-20-03
-={TIMEDUDES!}=-
Well, I trust this trip has been most informative.
yeah! I found a ROCK!!
You foolish monkey! I revealed the mystery of the dinosouars extiinction!
exting...wah? I thought you guys were NEVER coming back! I, the Head of Time Dinos Central, was getting worried!
...Killed the Dinosaurs!? Dude, I knew that synth was a Fruit, But that's just NUTS!!
HAH! Yeah, he even says that YOU should be a hot Valkyrie chick!!

 

by Killborg
12-05-03
-={[TIMEDUDES!]}=-
*swisn ninja stealth!* you realise that you, leader of Time Dino Central, must assasinate the rougue agents that have returned!
I must what now? Oh, ok stealthy voice in my head making me do bad things.
SIEZE AND DESTROY!!!
Ok, ok, jeez, ya don't have to shout. arming eye lazers! TARGETS LOCKED!
...so then the Rabbi says "those rotor turbines aren't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
*sigh* at least I can use you as a primate sheild.

 

by Killborg
12-05-03
-={[TIMEDUDES!]}=-
this is the end! I'm gonna die a little monkey virgin!!!
heh, I knew it.
*BEAM IN* Whoo TAH!!
ARGH! my NUTS!
Come with me if you want to live.
Baby, I think I came already!

 

by Killborg
12-05-03
I am Beth. an advanced cyborg from the far future...I have been chosen to save you, so that you can undo the damage that has been done!
so...uh...you are also a synthetic...we have a lot in common...maybe we could...um...
time is short! we must meet with professor Brainius! PORT OUT!
o/' ...any body else...When I think about you I touch myself...o/'
Proffessor, they are here, with me.
well HeeEELLOOOOooo boys!

 

by Killborg
12-06-03
GRRrrEEEeeTings! I, Prof. Brainius, am here to tell you that you have to undo the evil that the Chrononinja have wrought upon time!
Sooo...Got any spare Beth-minator drones? c'mon, hook me up!
What I do not understand is who these "Chrononinja" are.
*SO DAMN COOL NINJA STEALTH!* Dammit, we did a press release... WE SCREW UP TIME, ok?
Our first joint mission will be to find Valarie the valkyrie.
So you two can get nekkid and wrestle in bannana pudding? Oh-please oh-please oh-please...

 

by Killborg
12-06-03
For the last time, I AM NOT ON THE MENU, NO PART OF MY BODY IS ON THE MENU, YOU CANNOT EAT ME!!
I think you misunderstood, I was ordering some CHICKEN breasts.
*BEAN IN!* I am sooo grateful Prof. Brainius wanted that monkey to stay behind.
I know. Re-informing Valarie of her true past will be difficult enough...what experiments did Prof Brainius say he wanted to run on Monkey?
Meanwhile...
WheeEEEEeeee! Monkey Wanna banana?!
H...E...L...P...!

 

by Killborg
12-13-03
Yeah, right, you and the schoolgirl are from the future, and want me to join in your "adventures"...GO DIE IN A PUDDLE OF PUKE, SICKO!!
I hope Monkey is having a better time than I am.
MOMMY! MOMMY HELP!! WAAAAAAH!!!
I found the handcuffs! plus some other little treats...wheeEEEeee!!
well... Valarie is meeting us after work...but she might be bringing the police.
Hmmm....

 

by Killborg
12-17-03
OH THANK BANNANAS! a cop! with the arresting of the sicko and the "SAVE ME!!!"
uh-oh.
Hey zed! you finnaly got here! AND you're wearing the uniform, sweeEEEEEeet!!!
it is fast approaching the time that the arranged meeting will take place.
yes, then we can explain Valerie's true past, wipe out this dinosaur timeline, beat the chrononinja and still get back in time to meet Monkey! *Whew* backstory kinda hurts.

 

by Killborg
1-05-04
ok, we seriously need to get out of here.
Shhhh...inside voices... Hungover....owwww..
Maybe I could "Kitty-cat magic (C)" us out of this!
*munch* oh yeah...great plan...*BURP*
UH...GUYS?
*RINNG! RINNNNG!*

 

by Killborg
1-27-04
hey! I opened the curtains.
IT BURNS! soo...how do we get out of here
Hmmm...I could blast the wall apart with MAGIC KITTY ANIHILATION(tm)!
hey, as appealing as that sounds...in confined space, with nothing to sheild us...I'm gonna have to use my "boyfreind veto"
NO, I AM NOT HAPPY WITH MY LONG DISTANCE BILLS..IN FACT, COULD YOU SEND SOMEONE DOWN TO INTALL A SECOND LINE?

 

by Killborg
1-28-04
Hi! I'm here to install the second phone line you wanted.
EXCELLENT! JUST OPEN THE DOOR, AND YOU CAN GET STARTED!....UM...
What is it?
WELL, IT'S JUST THAT...YOU SOUND CANADIAN.
Don't mind me...just sneaking off...
...

 

by Killborg
1-28-04
THIS IS BRENDA...SHE'S A CANADIAN...BUT TRY NOT TO STARE, OK?
So I'm a canadian...WHAT IS THE BIG FRICKIN' DEAL, eh?
Hey Brenda...sorry about my brother...hey, have you met my anime cat-girl girlfreind and my Nanomechanical cyborg aquaintance?
must...escape.... gotta...leave...
Hi! I can turn into a fairy!

 

by Killborg
2-04-04
...after that, we became superheroes, and we tried to kill the President, who is my freind, and this fat guy exploded, and and...we're in here.
end my pain.
so, hey...C4N4D4...pretty cool place...lotsa bears, huh?
Kill me, eh.
I apologise, they're not always like this...we've been locked in here awhile
...sorry? I was staring at your boobs, eh.

 

by Killborg
2-04-04
...after that, we became superheroes, and we tried to kill the President, who is my freind, and this fat guy exploded, and and...we're in here.
end my pain.
so, hey...C4N4D4...pretty cool place...lotsa bears, huh?
Kill me, eh.
I apologise, they're not always like this...we've been locked in here awhile
...sorry? I was staring at your boobs, eh.

 

by Killborg
2-07-04
What the hell is wrong with you people, eh? What are you talking aboot?
UM...EXCUSE ME A SECOND...
DOESN'T SHE TALK FUNNY?! CAN WE KEEP HER?
oh, alright, but remember to make some airholes when you stuff her into the jar.
you...expect me to fit into a jar?
WELL, WE MAY HAVE TO TRIM AWAY THE UNNESCASSERY...

 

by Killborg
4-02-04
But master... I thought the one known as "Jon" was your..
HE IS NOTHING TO ME NOW! Release project omega, I say!
Omega Kill?
Yes, Omega! KILL! KILL THOSE THAT OPPOSE THE MASTER!
Agh...shoulda seen that coming...
RAAARRR!! OMEGA KILL ALL!!!!

 

by Killborg
4-03-04
Tell me, number two, how comes the Evil Army?
All is ready! ...um... evil ARMY?
Yes, ARMY! is there a problem?!
well...um...it's DEFINATELY evil! ...it's just...
Allow me to introduce...the EVIL AMISH!!
I spit on your grave, english.

 

by Killborg
5-07-04
so...
yep....
I'm going to go tear down a barn. USING TOOLS!
great, great... you do that.

 

by Killborg
5-07-04
OK, this is far enough... start digging
umm... look behind you.
Just DIG, fruitbucket!
this isn't a very demonic way of doing business...
OMEGA KILL ALL!!!!!!
*sigh* about to die, and I never owned a mouse puppet.

 

by Killborg
5-07-04
AAAAAAGH!!!
KILL! KILL!!! KILL!!!!! KIIIIIILLLLL!!!!
AgH.... HAH! that all you got?
*pant* *pant* *wheeze*
AAAAAAGH!
DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIIEEE!!!

 

by Killborg
5-17-04
we interrupt Garfield my way to bring youy this:
the closest I get to a night out on the pull is public masturbation.

 

by Killborg
5-27-04
Yeah... thats how I like it... Grab the bone...Grrr
*knock knock*
Yeah! toss it! toss it for daddy!!!!
I'm coming in...
I was NOT playing solo fetch....DONT LOOK AT ME!
um..... the ....ninjas called.....ew. thats not right.

 

by Killborg
7-23-04
Hi there! I'm (hold that closer) Dubyah Bush! To show how funky fresh and hip I am, I'm letting you "get down with the president!"
DOWN WITH THE PRESIDENT! DOWN WITH THE PRESIDENT!
DOWN WITH THE PRESIDENT! DOWN WITH THE PRESIDENT!
well, that's real good...took me three days to learn it.

 

by Killborg
7-31-04
*sigh*
Hello there! would you like to buy a lovely red rose?
yeah... but I have no-one to buy it for.
you could buy one for me, handsome.
in that case, you could at least pay for half.

 

by Killborg
7-31-04
Excuse me, do you sell coffee here?
wow... this guys polite AND sharply dressed.
yes sir, we carry espresso, latte, cappucino, mocha, full roast, french roast and Decaff.
DECAFF IS NOT COFFEE! AWAY WITH THEE, DEVIL WOMAN!!!

 

by Killborg
10-02-04
Hey. I'm Ronald. this is my food-place.
Eat a burger, hang out.
Or don't. who cares.

Showing page 2.

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