All comics by Laga

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by Laga
6-09-07
Hey ND, what sort of equipment do you need with your computer to do the hotspot thing?
I've got 802.11g, it's built in on my PowerBook, along with Bluetooth. It's built in to some PC's or you can add it with a PC Card or USB dongle. You want either 802.11b or 802.11g.
See, I could've sworn I asked in English...

 

by Laga
6-11-07
My co-worker just handed me a memo to proof. It's about the poor state of water in the building which, apparently, contains, "visible sentiment".
It's a very melodramatic beverage.
I think my building has the same problem. I found a Hallmark card floating in my tea.

 

by Laga
6-13-07
Um...I just got Spam that was simply a picture of a teddy bear with a big grin on his face getting sucked off by a shop vac with an evil grin and a link.
I'm not even sure how to react to this. I must fall into a really special demographic.

 

by Laga
6-13-07
I had a cat who had nightmares.
She would startle awake howling and run.
One time she ran down the basement stairs and I went to the top of the stairs and called her name
she turned around, saw me, ran full tilt back up the stairs and literally leaped into my arms.
She put her front legs around my neck, put her nose in my ear, and I held her and she purred until she stopped shaking. Then she got down and walked away like nothing happened.
We never spoke of it.

 

by Laga
6-14-07
I am now very good at making suppurating sores, utilizing only a little lipliner, pale powder base, and clear nail polish.
My suppurating sores earned effusive praise from the usually silent program chair.
Go team sores!

 

by Laga
6-16-07
A squirrel (or was it a chipmunk, I need to image Google me some critter) just spied on me peeing . Perv.
It's OK, because it was a scientist squirrel, doing scientific research on human peeing habits.

 

by Laga
6-17-07
Talking about things that are just wrong. I saw a can of pate de Foie gras in the market the other day at, well at a price I could afford. So I picked up the can and looked at the ingredients.
Pork, Pork liver, pork fat, blah, blah - no goose. Pate De Foi Gras is supposed to be goose liver pate. Pork products cannot honestly be labeled Pate De Foi Gras...
Maybe it was paté de faux gras.

 

by Laga
6-19-07
Actually, I don't believe anybody in Tolkien has sex, hot or otherwise.
The elves reproduce by singing. Hobbits are, of course, found in the cabbage patch.
Aragorn and Arwen just talk until Fate, in disgust, drops a baby on their heads.

 

by Laga
6-27-07
I am highly amused by Dick Cheney's defense of being in an indefinite state.
When Dick Cheney is in the office of veep, he exists in a state of half-executive and half-legislative until observed by a congressional committee. He's Schroedinger's Dick.
...in a box?
Not so much a box, but an undisclosed location. The principal is the same though, his wave function doesn't collapse until he's investigated.

 

One should not have to wake up at 6 a.m. after not going to bed till midnight. How do people do this on a regular basis?
With coffee, bitterness and recrimination?
by Laga, 7-17-07

 

by Laga
8-01-07
OK, so I finally took that personality disorder test, and everything was low except Histrionic, which was high, and Narcissistic, which was moderate.
WTF?!?!? What are they, fucking INSANE?!?! They must have made the test just so I'd get those results!!
Was there a category for 'compulsive need to display irony'?

 

I have a buddy named Fernando. Guess how much he hates ABBA?
I would guess that this would depend heavily on the extent to which he can hear the drums.
by Laga, 8-01-07

 

by Laga
8-01-07
One of my co-workers just said to me "Well, I suppose it's better to have a writer who's a perfectionist [meaning me] than one who doesn't care."
Honey, I have lowered my standards so far on this project you couldn't find them with a bathysphere. You haven't SEEN me being perfectionist. You couldn't cope.

 

by Laga
8-31-07
Anybody want a pound of sour cream?
For some reason my roommate bought it when grocery shopping, even though she hates it and I'm allergic to it
and it wasn't even accidentally on the list or on sale. I'm thinking I'll see if a local food kitchen will take it
or I'm just going to end up having to find something to chuck it at.
And when asked why she bought it
she answered, "I don't know. I could have stole a car. Instead, I bought sour cream"

 

by Laga
9-09-07
I wonder what wine goes best with Swanson's salisbury steak.
A bitter red.

 

by Laga
1-01-08
Dude. Monkey never gets old. You can shock it, spank it, puzzle it, bar it, see it, do it--monkey is the monkey wrench of the funny.
Case in point. From the front page of www.nytimes.com.
According to advisers and court records, Michael Jackson's wealth is being consumed by lawsuits and an appetite for monkeys, Ferris wheels and surgery.
Regardless of my innate recoil at that man's name, this is still a funny fucking subhead.
I think it's all money well-spent, in case he has to have his brain transplanted into Bubbles' body and run off to join a travelling carnival in order to escape the Law.

 

by Laga
1-09-08
hi
sup
dude
srsly
right?
no way

 

by Laga
2-16-08
I don't sound like I think I sound on recordings, either.
My mom said it's because what I hear in my head and what other people hear are two different things.
Well, duh. If they were the same, I wouldn't need the pills, Ma.

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