All comics by Meroinx

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by Meroinx
4-11-05
Good evening. I'm Jon Snyder--
and I'm Jen Snyder
I wasn't done talking, Jen.
Sorry Jon...
That's right. You keep your mouth shut for the rest of the program. You'll get yours later.

 

by Meroinx
4-11-05
Today, President Bush has announced that he will begin pulling troops out of Iraq immediately.
He said in a public address the other day that the War in Iraq was solely for oil and to finish the job that his dad could never do.
Stop messing with the teleprompter, guys.

 

by Meroinx
4-14-05
I've decided that this show has too little diversity. In this prominently white nation, we obviously need to include one of each of the major races.
Here we have the Japanese...
and here we have the republicans.

 

by Meroinx
4-14-05
Mr. Stick! What are you doing in the trash?
I'm wasting my remaining years.
Now why would you want to do that?
I tried following my dreams! They all laughed at me!
No. That's okay, thanks.
I haven't been able to buy dinner for weeks! I'm so poor! I haven't even taken a bath in four weeks! Can I please gave a hug?

 

by Meroinx
4-14-05
I wonder...
What is our purpose in life? What are we to accomplish in such a vast society, let alone such an incredibly boundless plane of existance!
And how do I discover said purpose? We are fed reasons to be "successful" by our elders and fellow humans, but what is out actual purpose?
I think we are destined to find out one day, and then we will be rewarded for our perserverence in the subject by eternal bliss and happiness.
Every item could be a clue to the secret of existance, to the puzzle of life. Each hint must be thoroughly scrutinized, and carefully analyzed lest we lose it!
and that is why I don't flush the toilet.

 

by Meroinx
4-18-05
Mom, give me 5 dollars or I will kill myself with this hammer!
What's in it for me?
I'm calling Child Services.

 

by Meroinx
4-18-05
0010100111010011010111 1010100010101110110101 1001010101111001001001 0001010011110100100101 0100111101010010001010 0101001000111100101010
That is the worst l33t sp34k I've hever heard.
0111110001000001 0110000001000001 0111100001000001 0110000000111110 0110000000000000
Point taken.

 

by Meroinx
4-18-05
Hey Reed! I got the best idea for a shirt!
Ok, what is it?
It would say, "I can't walk."
...
Then I'd start walking around and people would get so confused!
Classic.

 

by Meroinx
4-18-05
Help! Someone help! People are committing mass suicide out of that building!
Yeah.
Normally, I would help, but for the purpose of this comic, I need to talk to another person! Help!
Alright.
Are you just gonna stand there?
Hold on, this guy is yelling in my ear. I can hardly hear my earpiece.

 

by Meroinx
4-18-05
Hello!
Hi!
Bonjour!
Konichi-wa.
Breetings!
Hey, fatty! C'mere! I got some pork rinds for you to engorge while I finish baking all seven hams.

 

by Meroinx
4-18-05
So I says to him: I says, 'That's not MY turkey!'
Laugh laugh laugh laugh!
Looks like we've got a fan here! Hey buddy, you don't actualyl say "laugh", you just do it.
Laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh!
Don't make me knife you!
Whimper whimper.

 

by Meroinx
4-18-05
Alright, so a Polish guy walks into a bar.
So I killed him!
Get it?

 

by Meroinx
4-18-05
Behind this curtain, I have the most hideous thing you've ever seen!
Ok, someone shout out a body part and I'll tell you if it's right or not.
The curtain rises!
The anticoagulant?

 

by Meroinx
4-19-05
My fellow Americans, the problem in Iraq has elevated to a point where I have made the decision to "fart" on them.
Wait a second... That's a typo!
I have made the decision to "poop" on them.

 

by Meroinx
4-19-05
I know I have made mistakes, but I swear I'll never harm you again.
You've got a lure I can't deny, but you've had your changce so say goodbye...
Well, I--
Say goodbye.
Alright! I'm going, jeez.

 

by Meroinx
4-19-05
My life sucks.
Now that's not true, Mr. Stick!
Yes it is! My whole life has been a giant charade of melancholy deceipt. I've only had five warm meals, and every animal I have ever come into contact with has given me rabies and died!
Well--
It was my birthday today, and as if being sick my entire life wasn't enough, I found out I have cancer! Today was the first time I've ever been laid, and it was by a male doctor onto my deathbed!
I'd give you a hug if you didn't have AIDS.

 

by Meroinx
4-20-05
Heya. I was just wondering what the sqare root of 50 was.
Well, it's somewhere around seven. Just a little more because seven is the square root of 49. If you have to be exact, though, I can pull up a calculator.
No, that's fine. Hey, what game are you playing, anyways?
Halo.
I didn't want to have to use this...

 

by Meroinx
4-20-05
*burp*
What do you say?

 

by Meroinx
4-20-05
That was great! I feel so much better now.
Me too!
Boy, my wife would kill me if she found out I was gay.
Again?

 

by Meroinx
4-21-05
I think I want to be a gangster, I mean, they get in on all the action! Gun slingers, big moneys, et cetera.
I really don't think you'd make the best gangster.
No, I really think I'd make a really good gangsta. I'd be makin' big bucks for the main man all time.
Woop Woop!

 

by Meroinx
4-21-05
There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's.
*wink*

 

by Meroinx
4-25-05
You know sometimes how you're so full that you would be happy to just "let fly"?
I suppose.
I think it would be great if it were socially acceptable to do that.
Well, that's your opinion, and you're entitled to it.
That's right! I'm full of opinions! ...and burritos and cake.

 

by Meroinx
4-28-05
I know our parents forbid us to see each other any more, but I feel I can't live without you.
I actually made out with a broom because it looked like it had your hair.
Take me!
On second thought, I remember that being very pleasurable.

 

by Meroinx
4-28-05
Hmmm...
I'd like to go out on a good note here, but let's be honest.
It isn't working out between you and me.

 

by Meroinx
4-28-05
I always wondered what it would be like to do it with a guy.
You know, just to see what it's like.

 

by Meroinx
4-28-05
So, technically, this mean we're "Going Out" together.
Get it?

 

by Meroinx
4-28-05
Are you PT?
Yes, I am Petie.
No, I mean like the letters "P" and "T".
Then no, I am not the letters "P" and "T".
Hah! You're not a pregnant teenager! Wait...

 

by Meroinx
4-29-05
Mr. President, is it true that we will not be pulling troops out of Iraq for another year?
Uh... Um... You see, uh... I know a guy. Great guy. Used to work together in the air force.
We used to fly all over the world together. You know what? I think I was the one who dropped the bomb on Hiroshima!
*What? That's not a good thing? Oh.* I mean, yes. We will be keeping them there for a while.

 

by Meroinx
4-30-05
I'm not superstitious, but I have a funny feeling about not remailing chain letters.
I mean, they know where I live, so they could really do something bad if they found out I didn't send it to someone else.
At the bottom here, it says "Total Cost: $14,000.00". I'll mail it to someone else if it will cost me that much for not doing so. That's pretty smart though, disguising it as a bill.

 

by Meroinx
4-30-05
Hey, want to join my band?
Sure! What kind of music is it?
It's a Christian rock band. I'll be lead guitar, and I've already got two others to play drums and bass.
Great! I'm a good singer. What's the band called?
The Gay Nazis Who Eat Aborted Babies.

 

by Meroinx
4-30-05
I push the random comic button once, and this is what I get! A boring pig on a blue background!
But I'm a polygamist pig!
That didn't make it any funnier.
Your mom wasn't any funnier.

 

by Meroinx
5-08-05
How can you "find out" that you're gay?
I mean, wouldn't you have noticed that you were attracted to people of the same gender all your life?
Did you see Cold Mountain?
No.
Well, that's what did it for me.

 

by Meroinx
5-08-05
A Broken Man And A Broken Cage

 

by Meroinx
6-15-05
Ted's Bar: Miller $3; Red Bull $4; Bawls $3; Bud $3; Heineken $4.
What can I get you tonight?
Well... I'd like some... Err...
Yeah?
Well, can I get some of your, uh...
I want your balls, OK?!?

 

by Meroinx
6-25-05
Hey random girl whom I've never seen before.
Hi.
Wanna go out some time?
Sure.
C'mon! I'll show you my cleesh collection. You can help me work on it!

 

by Meroinx
8-10-05
Well, I'm back. I haven't been on a while. I guess it's because Fox put some pretty crappy shows on. Keen Eddie, Whoopie--
Oh. I've just been handed a letter.
That's been done before.

 

by Meroinx
8-10-05
Well, Mr. Stick. I've reviewed all of your assets and..
What did he just say?
I feel that it would be in your best interests to start the campaign after Novascan releases theirs.
Did he just call me an "Asshat"?
That way, there would be more comparison between the products, and our ads are different enough that-
I'm sorry. Did you just call me an asshat?

 

by Meroinx
8-10-05
I'm so hardcore.
Hi kids. I'm Wendy. Cutting is a problem faced by many teens these days, and I want to tell you: This is not the answer.
How did you get in here?
Don't mind me. Continue with your problem that many teens face today. Cutting will not solve the problems that kids face. Those are solved other ways.
But it's hella funny to watch.

 

by Meroinx
8-10-05
Hey, have you seen Dave anywhere?
No. I'm afraid I haven't. We were going to get lunch, but he had to cancel for a "family emergency".
Ooh... Well, what about Kate?
No luck. I tried calling her, but her answering machine only plays a Ricky Martin song.
Ouch. Well, what about Ken?
Nope. Both of his knees hyperextended and he kicked himself in the crotch.

 

by Meroinx
8-24-05
Well class, today we're going to try something new. Whenever we would say the word "get", we say "screw", and whenever we would say "that", we say "me".
Oh! I seem to have dropped my pencil. Could you pick it up please, Michael?
You did it wrong, you little wench!
Ahh! Screw me thing away from me!

 

by Meroinx
8-24-05
Alright, then. We're going to try something else today! Maybe something a little less challenging.
Maybe something that wouldn't be so infinitely difficult if your parents weren't whores and child abusers. it's ok to cry, Billy, it's ok to cry.
Shall we get started then?

 

by Meroinx
9-10-07
Hey honey, I've got some good news and some bad news.
Okay, let's hear the bad news first.
Well...
...It's not yours

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