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| Now that's not true, Mr. Stick! | |
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| Yes it is! My whole life has been a giant charade of melancholy deceipt. I've only had five warm meals, and every animal I have ever come into contact with has given me rabies and died! | |
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| It was my birthday today, and as if being sick my entire life wasn't enough, I found out I have cancer! Today was the first time I've ever been laid, and it was by a male doctor onto my deathbed! | |
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| I'd give you a hug if you didn't have AIDS. | |
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