All comics by PennyDreadful

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by PennyDreadful
8-20-10
These are my sons Luke and Bo.
I'm sensing a theme here... this must be Daisy.
No...this is little Boss Hog.

 

by PennyDreadful
8-21-10
6 months later...
What did that pedaphile do to you?! Tell me, Josh!
Mom-- I've told you-- nothing.
2 years later...
Show me on the doll where the big man touched you, Josh. Was it on your bathing suit area?
Voltar! Thank God I found you! I gave up the greatet job in the world, money, and a sex crazed Cougar to be a kid again. Do you have a Dr.Kovorkian setting?

 

by PennyDreadful
8-21-10
Look out, Bitch!
Hey, shut up! The movie hasn't even started yet, darkies!
I've got a math problem for you...can you calculate with perfect accuracy the probablity of the both of us being good drivers and NOT owning a laundry.
I know the answer to this! It's a trick question, there is NO chance that we'll be good drivers and not own laundry!
Hi folks, this is PennyDreadful saying that these stereotypes are both untrue, and offensive...
Yo! Down in front, liberal ass dyke! Word, all you need is some foot long black cock stuffed in that mouth!

 

by PennyDreadful
8-22-10
What-What and all that, move it along you crusty ol' beggar--you remind me of one of Keira Knightley's dried up ovaries.
I have no idea what you're talking about--I'm a business man wearing a suit and tie.
It also appears, sir, that you're wearing a spare piece of twine as a belt. Chim Chim Charoo.
I'm on my way to a meeting, and ...
In the name of her majesty the right hideous Queen, I'm going to commence to clubbin' ya about the noggin', you smelly ol' basket of fish and chips.
Could you recite Monty Python's "Spam" routine while you do it? I love your accent.

 

by PennyDreadful
8-23-10
Alright, first day of eighth grade! You ready?
(huff) uhhh.
We'll pick you up at 3:25.
(huff) uhhh.
You're going to start shopping at Hot Topic soon, aren't you?

 

That be a real intimidating bunny suit, fancy pants.
Says the gay pirate who looks like his costume was designed by Jean Paul Gaultier.
by PennyDreadful, 8-23-10

 

by PennyDreadful
8-23-10
I like the red.
Right back at ya, chief.
I've got a list of who's naughty and nice.
Ditto.
I teach little children to be superficial and covetous--pinning all of their material hopes on one day a year.
That's pretty fucked up, even by my standards.

 

by PennyDreadful
8-23-10
This is the biggest turn out yet for Captain Picard appreciation day!

 

DON'T ERASE TOBOR'S CORNHOLER! TOBOR CAN CHANGE--STARTING, NOW!
by PennyDreadful, 8-25-10

 

by PennyDreadful
8-25-10
Philodendrens make a good starter plant.
Six cowboys agree...
Their easy to take care of and grow terrestrially.

 

Hey man, the squirrel on squirrel violence has got to stop.
by PennyDreadful, 8-25-10

 

by PennyDreadful
8-25-10
Well Doctor, I just feel like I'm stuck in a dead end job--and that nothing I do matters.
Go on...expound on that.
I feel like Sisyphus pushing a big boulder up a hill, only to have it roll back down over me, comically smashing me into a working accordian.
How does that makes you feel Wile E.?
Helpless--I've been obsessed with that road runner for years...but the problem is me! It's all been one big suicidal cry for help!

 

by PennyDreadful
8-25-10
I thought they couldn't make beer any better...then Coors went and made those mountains blue when it's cold.
I don't think that my species has learned everything we can from hick's asses yet.
Hey...pretty lady! You have--hic--you have very pretty eyes. Did you know that?
I'll tell Kleepklop to warm up the analizer.
Where are you going you stuck up bitch?!

 

by PennyDreadful
8-26-10
I had a good time...do you want to have a cup of coffee?
Look, I don't know how to say this...but there is a major difference in our basic sizes. I'm like, twice as big as you are.
So...we're not having sex?
I don't see the point...it would be like throwing a ball point pen into a cave. Good night.
I wish my Bic was that big.

 

by PennyDreadful
8-26-10
I find that wearing this top hat adds a touch of class to everything I do.

 

by PennyDreadful
9-05-10
Here is a copy of your final paper work and the keys to your new place.
I'm a home owner! I can't believe it!
Now for full disclosure...
NOW full disclosure? What's wrong with it--plumbing, electrical...?
The house is haunted by an Incubus--a male raping spirit.
Oh thank god! I thought you were going to say it had Asbestos.

 

by PennyDreadful
10-08-10
Well, many greeting masked neighbor, Tim.
I'm not Tim. What's left of him is in this box.
Mhmmm, mhmmm, mhhhmm.
I just wanted him to stop grunting and making ape noises.
Totally understandable new neighbor...did you get that hose beast of a wife and the three little spaz bastards yet?--I have my own mask and a Purvian ceremonial kulling knife.

 

by PennyDreadful
10-08-10
So evil enemy, we are agreed--we will turn off the lights, move silently through the room, and attack when we sense where the enemy is?
Agreed. I'll count to three and you hit the switch.
Not only is black more slimming, it doesn't stick out like neon when you're trying to be stealthy.

 

Okay, I took my clothes off. NOW are we going to play twister, Father Steve?
by PennyDreadful, 12-29-10

 

by PennyDreadful
12-29-10
Holy shit, dude! I just realized that the meaning of life is found in the lyrics to a children's nursery rhyme.
I was just thinking that!--life is but a dream?
Nah, dude. Rub-a-dub-dub...three men in a tub!
I don't think you're tripping as much as just incredibly, incredibly gay.
So, you don't want to call Matt and take a bubble bath?
Well...if life is just a dream, it might as well be a homo-erotic wet dream.

 

by PennyDreadful
12-29-10
The boss wants you to "take care of her"?
Not that! Take her out. Show her a good time. Don't let her get lonely.
Hey, could you massage my feet?--I'm feelin' kinda tired.
I hope Bruce Willis kills your motha-fuckin' ass when you're taking a shit.
What?

 

by PennyDreadful
3-23-11
Wow...even the porta potty at a Lady Gaga concert is weird an unnecessary.
I wonder what kind of facilities they have over at the Phish concert...

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