All comics by Psyberdude

Profile

 

by Psyberdude
9-25-05
Your Fired, Get the fuck outta here.
Sup, Tech Dude.
Not much.
You and your assistant is fired, Get the fuck outta here!

 

by Psyberdude
9-25-05
Hi, I'm Happy Bunny.
Greetings.
You're icky.
?
and you smell like butt.
If I was human, I think I would be insulted by your lack of fasion sense.

 

by Psyberdude
9-25-05
boo boo we we iddy biddy baby..
??
ooby ooby goo goo sucha cute widdy iddy baby.
Dude! What the hell is your problem?!
Hey what yah snickering about Tech Dude?
I'm seeing how far I can push I.S. guy by constantly reprogramming his assistant.

 

by Psyberdude
9-26-05
10101101010101 10101011011010 01011001010110
010101110010110 101011011010110 001011010110101
1100101011010 0101011010101 1101101100101
Damn, I forgot I.S. guy could speak binary.

 

by Psyberdude
9-26-05
I.S. Guy, the servers are being over run by virus and worms.
What?!
Wholy Friggen chri.. Wait a minute, theres no virus or worms.
My mistake, it was payroll computer in the bosses office.
Wait a minute, payroll is on the servers..
hehe gotchya!

 

by Psyberdude
9-26-05
Want tickets to the company picknic?
Nah, I'm going to my brothers company picknic.
Who does your brother work for?
Microshaft.
Damn! I'll pay ya 300 bucks if I can go.
forget it, their chicks do mud wresteling.

 

by Psyberdude
9-26-05
Hi freak, er I mean clean room guy.
Sup, reception lady.
I heard you got a ticket to the Microshft company picnic.
yah, and?
wanna meet in the supply closet?
forget it, I only have the one ticket. I'm keeping it.

 

by Psyberdude
9-26-05
Greetings Clean room guy, I heard you got a Microshaft company picnic ticket.
I'm not giving it away.
Fine, Your fired, Get the fuck outta here.
Fine, I'm still going to the picnic.
Wait! Your re-hired. Can I PLEASE have the ticket to the Microshaft company picnic?
No.

 

by Psyberdude
9-26-05
Hey Tech-Dude, I suppose you want my ticket to Microshaft too?
Nope, got my own.
Really? where you get yours at?
one of the fod venders is Union, and being a Stewart mean I get Kewl stuff.
Dude! I didn't know Unions where so kewl!
Yah, not ony is it kewl, I get to tell the boss to kiss my ass. A tip though, loose the space suit when you go.

 

by Psyberdude
9-26-05
Beer Garden.
Hey Tech Dude! *Hic*
Hey Dude! see you found the free booze.
Party Grounds.
Heya, Kewl Picnic hu?
TECH DUDE! *Hic*
Later in the evening...
CLEAN ROOM DUDE!!
*hic* Did I drin'*hic* drink thoo muth?

 

by Psyberdude
9-26-05
So, Uh, now what?
Well, we hang out for a bit. I think that one blonde dug me?
Am I dead from drinking too much?
You worry too much. What about that brunette?
Oh God! I drank too much at the party and died!
Dude! Relax! you'll be fine.

 

by Psyberdude
9-26-05
I dont understand, Tech Dude and I drank the same amount.
He's Union, this isn't part of his contract.
Your just pulling my leg right?
No really, he had one hell of a negotiator, he has death immunity at all company picnics that any union person is working at.
This aint fair, now what do I do?
Well you ever see any of them prison movies?

 

by Psyberdude
9-26-05
Hey, where3 did my cloths go, and why does it smell like sulfur?
Speaking of prison films, did you drop that soap?
Dude! I'm NOT going to pick that up!
Ha! Gotchya, I'm just messing with ya... Tech Dude made you a temporary Union apprentice. Your good for now, I'll see ya next week.
Wait a minute.. Next week?!
hehe, Damn I love messing with people!

 

by Psyberdude
9-26-05
Later at the picnic...
Tech Dude! Damn I'm glad to see you!
Hey man, Lay off the booze!
um, Sure.. Thanks Dude.
No prob man, By the way you owe me 20 bucks for union dues, go get something to eat.
Isn't he going to be pissed off when he finds out I'm just an actor from the company play?
as long as I get 20 bucks, I dont care, I need gas money to get home.

 

by Psyberdude
9-26-05
Sup?
Not much, I went to the Microshaft company picnic, drank too much, cheated death, stripped with a bunch of mostly naked women. You?
Was at home, dealing with a pregnant wife, lamenting over freedom I never exercised.
Kewl, so anyhowcan I get a computer hooked up to play smokencrack 2 in the clean room?
No.
fine.

 

by Psyberdude
9-26-05
Sup Dude?
I.S. Guy wont hook me up in the clean room to play smokencrack 2
Really? Tell yah what, I'll get ya hooked up, I got an extra system in the factory office I use to spam his email account.
Really? Kewl! Arent I supposed to bribe you with food to do this, it's a non-union job.
That's okay, this is a freebee, anything to undermine the I.S. Guy's authority. It should take me about 20 minutes.
Sweet!

 

by Psyberdude
9-26-05
Friggen Christ! Damnt it!
Wow, who's kicking your butt on smokencrack 2?
Dang, they kicked your butt again!
Damn it! Who the hell are these guys?! they been doing this to me all day!! Those Fuckers!
Hey! Nice move on the I.S. guy today. HAHAHA!
Haha, Yah, we do pretty good double teaming him, that musta pissed him off when you came in and healed me at the last moment that one time when he almost had me.

 

by Psyberdude
10-02-05
Greetings. I'm Winkerbean, the new CEO
Greetings I'm Tech Dude.
How long you been working here?
Hmm. apparently longer then you have.
Can you tell me how to get to the production area?
Dude, your standing in it.

 

by Psyberdude
10-02-05
Hey Tech Dude, you met the new CEO?
Yah, what a lame ass.
Why ya say that?
Because he’s been here 6 years, he doesn’t know anything about the business and he thinks the info he gets from middle management actually has something to do with his job.
Six years? I thought he was new.
He never leaves his office, he's afraid of people.

 

by Psyberdude
10-10-05
You know how fast you where going?
Yah 85 miles per hour.
You Know the speed limit here?
Yah, 35 Miles per hour
Then how come you wheren't going 35?
because I wasn't planning on drivin' for just an hour.

 

You Ran that red light.
Yah, I dropped my gun when i was loading my crack pipe and it lodged behind the break pedal.
by Psyberdude, 10-10-05

 

Dude! Your not going to look in the trunk are you?!
by Psyberdude, 10-10-05

 

Liscense, registration and proof of insurance please.
Sure, could you hold my beer while I get them?
by Psyberdude, 10-10-05

 

License registration and proof of insurance please.
Wow, are we still moving, thats some good shit I just took.
by Psyberdude, 10-10-05

 

You musta been doing 125 to keep up with me, Good job!
by Psyberdude, 10-10-05

 

I am soo friggen stoned, Act normal, maybe he won't notice.
by Psyberdude, 10-10-05

 

Duuuude! There's like, no way you coulda known about yesterday!
by Psyberdude, 10-11-05

 

Sweet! you going to give me a warning like the other cop just did?
by Psyberdude, 10-11-05

 

Your eyes look a little red, you been drinking?
Your eyes look a little glazed, you been eating donuts?
by Psyberdude, 10-11-05

 

Hey, wasn't your daughter a pork queen?
by Psyberdude, 10-11-05

 

You'll never get those cuffs on me...You Wimp!
by Psyberdude, 10-11-05

 

Back off spanky, I got a piece!
by Psyberdude, 10-11-05

 

How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.
by Psyberdude, 10-11-05

 

by Psyberdude
11-14-05
Hey Tech dude. Sup?
Not much, taking a state break.
Boss man sez he wants me to do some of your work.
What?! That son of a, I'm going to call a strike!
Arent you supposed to greive it first?
Oh right, well fuck it, I'm going to lunch, have fun.

 

by Psyberdude
11-14-05
Hey, clean suit guy, wheres Tech guy at?
He went to lunch because I'm doing his job.
I need him to cover your job.
Why? shouldn't I do my job, and he do his job?
If you where doing your job who would cover his job? He's at lunch.
Where's my fucking gun at?!!

 

by Psyberdude
11-14-05
Whats up I.S. assistant?
I need you to cover the reception position.
Why? I'm covering the Tech guy's position.
I got that covered by the HR lady.
Who's covering HR?
The reception lady.

 

by Psyberdude
7-09-07
What are you doing in the supply room? Here to fix my computer?
Look, you had your chance when I was a virgin. Whers the paper at?
..well?
My computer has the blue screen of death, But now that you mention it, you can still have sex by me telling you to fuck off.

 

by Psyberdude
7-09-07
WTF?! There are mice runing around the office!
There are mice running around the office.
Yah, most of the men are pretty spinless
No, I mean there are rodents
yah, I agree there all a bunch of rats.

 

by Psyberdude
7-09-07
Oh look a cute little mouse
;..; ?
no, there are no cats here.
..
Theres a cute little mouse in the warehouse
This can't be good..

 

by Psyberdude
7-09-07
Theres a problem in the warehouse..
Who are you?
I'm the new manager, Mr slimeball
Oh, hi nice to meet you.
Save your BULLSHIT jackass! If you don't get the problem resolved I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!
.. Umm what problem?

 

by Psyberdude
7-09-07
What are you TAKING A BREAK FOR?! GET BACK TO WORK!
Dude! I'm union I get breaks, go see my Union Rep.
What the hell is this contract?! YOU WILL CHANGE IT! where I come from workes don't have any rights.
Oh yah, about that, theres a clause in our contract.
Really? whats that?
Oh yah, its section 3 paragraph 2A, it clearly states. kiss our collective asses, does that work for you?

 

by Psyberdude
7-09-07
What are we going to do about these union guys? I can't get free overtime out of them.
This is America, you can't get free overtime, not even for the non-union people.
What is this about lunch breaks? Only managers are allowed to eat lunch.
Everyone in America gets to eat lunch.
Thats what's wrong with your country, and why everyone is overweight
.. Are you calling me fat?

 

by Psyberdude
7-09-07
Hiya Slimey, What ya want to do about the equipment problem?
In my country we don't have equipment problem, why doesn't your stuff work?
in your country there is no equipment, we need to get this fixed.
What? you expect me to deal with this?
I need to hire a production manager.
You are the production Manager.

 

by Psyberdude
7-09-07
Greetings, I need a production manager for our technology department.
I make spread sheets, I make notes, I make people work to read my spread sheets.
Perfect Your hired!
I need to mark down notes to catagorize this talk you make.
Take over the Production process and fix the equipment
Right after I catalog everything in my office.

 

by Psyberdude
7-09-07
I need history on all computers in this room.
Dude, why? We need parts for the auto-rotator. The computers are fine. Go talk to I.S. about the computers.
I need an assitant manager to deal with information flow.
Sounds good to me.
What's your qualifications?
I eat fish, but other then that, I don't remember. You must be important.

 

by Psyberdude
7-09-07
I need to have your procedures documented so I know what to do to make things go here.
Your kidding right? All I need is a part for the auto-Rotator to make things work.
All you need is a part?
Yah, all I need is a part, Slimy is the manager, he is supposed to order it.
Well, now where getting somewhere. If you could write down the procedure so I can go over it, then I could massage it a bit and then we can try out the new procedure.
Where the hell do they get these guys?

 

by Psyberdude
7-09-07
Whats with these managers you hired? I just need you to sign a piece of paper to get a part to fix it, I'll take care of the rest.
Oh, thats it? No problem, I thought you wanted me to actualy do something
There see, took two seconds of your time. The part will be here tomorrow and things will be back and running.
Fantastic. This is how expert management works. This is why they hired me.
And where I come from I am one of the best mamangers in the buisness, and blaa blaa, me, me, me, blaa blaa blaa, me me blaah.
I need to get a new job, what a fuck-tard

 

by Psyberdude
7-09-07
Chainsaw Chuck! It's been a while.
Father Abbit, Visiting form Corporate, how nice, lets go fire some people.
Just like the good old days, when you would hack them, and I would give them their last rights.
So, why the visit?...
Mr Funky, I need to inform you, that your over budget on payroll, you can cut one of your managers or you will need to cut five workers.
Over budget? But I haven't hired any new workers.

 

by Psyberdude
7-09-07
We need to cut five people from the shipping department.
What?! Theres only three people working there, how will we get everything shipped out?
Well, we can't get rid of a manager, How will the workers function without our managers?
Well?
Oh shit, you where seriouse?

 

by Psyberdude
7-09-07
Dude what the hell? Why they doing a layoff? We are up twenty five percent over target.
They hired a new manager who doesn't know how to manage
So why do they need to lay off people?
Because the manager needed a support network of sub-managers to do his job.
Guess this is why we are the number two company.
Well on our way to the target number five on the list.

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