All comics by RopeDrink

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by RopeDrink
6-08-03
Are you gonna start packing them shelves my little floor assistant slave bitch?
Erm, I dont work here... I'm looking for Pidgeon Wings...
Oh... Oh right, sorry - Over there, top shelf! They sell like hot cakes baby, you'd want to hurry on now before they're all gone!
Cheers, I think...
Yeah, because If *I* find any, you'll be fishing them out of your lower colon you arrogant twat!

 

by RopeDrink
1-13-04
On one hand you have some guy getting a second degree nailing to a wooden cross, and somewhere down the line it gets mixed with the idea that his brith should be signified by a fairy tale...
I Are Being Nailed To An Wooden Object
The fairytale of some fat red wanker delivering presents down the HOLE of your chimney for your little kiddies...They say never talk to strangers, or take sweets off strangers...
I Are Delivering Presents To Thine Kids
Yet they'll tell you that there's some fat loveable **** coming once a year who NOBODY has seen, and that HE'S allowed to tresspass in your home and give you sweets and presents... GOD I LOVE SANTA!

 

by RopeDrink
1-13-04
Jesus?
Yes, Geezuz?
Could you scratch my back, please?
Certainly...
...Oh wait... Very fucking funny!

 

by RopeDrink
1-14-04
Jesus?
Yes, Geezuz?
Could you pass me the bible, please?
...Are you *trying* to piss me off!?

 

by RopeDrink
1-14-04
Jesus?
Yes, Geezuz?
Will you lick my balls?
I'll get my father after you if you don't cease this arrogance...

 

by RopeDrink
1-14-04
11:00am In Death's Council Estate
Hiya - Is Count Vladula Junior coming out to play today?
No Kaxx, sorry, not today.
Why not?
Well he hung himself around 2:30 this morning - I've only just found him now!
HOLY SHIT! Is he dead!?
Err... No, not quite...

 

by RopeDrink
1-14-04
What's that you've got there?
It's a TAZER! I found it behind a pile of cow shit over that hill!
A tazer? How would a thing like that get over here? Give us a look!
Sure...
It's a broken toaster that you're weilding by the cord!!!
HEY, this is a third world country... You learn to get by...

 

by RopeDrink
1-15-04
This is an appeal from concern...
We ask for your help in bringing a new food, slimfast, to the children of Africa...
This is Alisha... When we found her, her face was severely swollen after eating all the pies...
With the help of slimfast, and a sturdy prison cell, Alisha's face is slowly dissapearing...

 

by RopeDrink
1-15-04
This is an appeal from concern...
We ask for your help in training the children of Africa to bring up a cow...
Cows can provide milk to the children of Africa...
Moh?
They can also be infected with BSE or C4 explosives and used as a method of population control to cut down on food intake...

 

by RopeDrink
1-15-04
Oh Jerry... Tell me how much you love me!
Multiply 10 by the curcumferance of your anus, then subtract 24 from the weight of your vaginal stentch, add the two answers together and you've got the answer...
Erm... How much do you love me again?

 

by RopeDrink
1-15-04
Get a wiff of this! SOUL FLAY ATTACK, NOW!
What the...
*Pfft*
YYyyaaarrrgggghhh!
Neat, eh?
Holy SHIT!

 

by RopeDrink
1-15-04
Is this the point where I run like hell!?

 

by RopeDrink
1-16-04
Hi there, I'm Harold Shipman, your friendly 'non-murderous' GP. You say you're suffering from Diahrea? A shot of morphene will fix that for you!
I can't honestly see how morphene can help cure Diahrea... And if you had checked my medical records you'd have noticed I'm allergic to morphene...
Morphene it is, then!

 

by RopeDrink
1-16-04
There you go - A litre of morphene. You should be feeling MUCH better in a few seconds...
Dude, it's like... I could probably saw off my legs and not feel anything... Woah man, thats... great... How can I... Ever... Repay you...
Oh just sign all you're earthly belongings over to me in your will and we'll leave it at that...
Done... and... dusted...
*THUD*

 

by RopeDrink
1-16-04
Doctor Death strikes again!
Not so fast...
Ahh... Officer...
May I ask why there's a semi-dead, continuously groaning man lying on your floor?
Oh he's merely testing out the latest truth drug. If you don't believe me, I'll take it myself, but only on the condition that you do also - How do I know you're a real policeman?
Isn't it obvious you ponce? But I suppose I'll need the stuff anyway as evidence... Give it here...

 

by RopeDrink
1-16-04
There you go - Due to the size of your obese body, I had to give you a full litre... Don't worry... It won't harm you - Now, are you a real policeman?
Yes... yes I am... Did you murder this man?
No... No I didn't...
Right then... Well, me not being a big believer in truth drugs, I'll blatently disregard this conversation seeing as you obviously think I'm a stupid twat and thus I am arresting you on suspsicion...
*THUD*

 

by RopeDrink
8-16-05
Hey Jimmy, got myself a new game today!
Cool John, what is it?
It's called 'I Hate You Jimmy, I Never Know Why I Speak To You, And I Wish You'd Crawl Down A Deep, Dark Hole And Die!"
Cool, what are the system requirements?

 

by RopeDrink
8-16-05
Hey Jimmy, it's my birthday today!
Cool John, want would you like as a present?
For you to slit your throat while leaping from the highest available cliff, both at the same time!
How much will the knife cost?

 

by RopeDrink
8-16-05
Hey Jimmy, got a new computer today. It's really fast, and it manages to play all the latest, graphically complex games really smoothly. It's brilliant!
Cool John, what else can it do?
It can be dropped from ridiculous heights onto the heads of people I utterly 'detest', outright slaying them on the spot.
Sounds deadly.
You fit the description, care to playtest it?
Where will I stand?

 

by RopeDrink
8-16-05
Hey Jimmy, found one of those swiss army knives today, it has a tool for everything!
Cool John, tell me about one!
Well, there's one here called 'The Jimmy Slayer' - "Perfect For Slitting The Eyeballs Of That Annoying Bastard You Hate So Much".
Cool, what does it do!?

 

by RopeDrink
8-16-05
Hey Jimmy, just realised that over the last few comic strips that've been made, I've been ranting, somewhat sneakily, about how much I hate you!
Cool John, what do you want me to do about it?
How about 'Take The Hint And Die'?
What, now!?

 

by RopeDrink
8-22-05
Hey Fletch, heard you were having a house party man - Hows it going?
Not bad Don, you joining us?
No, I'm here to see Dingo, have you seen him?
He's here alright, but he's kinda tied up. He made a deal with Fingers. Something to do with taking a 'pill' everytime England concede a goal in their match against Holland.
What's the score?
3-1 to Holland, I think!

 

by RopeDrink
8-22-05
Meanwhile, in the living room with Fingers.
Oh my, it looks like Englands defence has failed. 4-1 to Holland!
HAHAHHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHA
*THUD*

 

by RopeDrink
8-22-05
DINGO, IT'S BEEN FOUR HOURS... THIS IS TAKING THE PISS! THERES MORE THAN ONE ASSHOLE IN THIS HOUSE... COME ON!!!
Buuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Erk.

 

by RopeDrink
8-22-05
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*THUD*
*OW* HAHAHAHAHAHHAH
*THUD*
NnnnnnnNNnnNN
Who the HELL gave Fingers those damn pills... It's not funny, guys, you know what he's like...

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