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I used to be somebody...

 

A Tattooed Steve Holiday Special Part 4. by TattooedSteve 11-22-06
So we meet at last... That's right Tattooed Steve! I the master of all that's P.C. will destroy you and the last of the fun holidays you love. Moowah hahahaha!	And the whole reason behind it is for more store sales ha ha AAAAAAAAA!!!	You were saying?

 

A Tattooed Steve Holiday Special Part 5. by TattooedSteve 11-22-06
Man it kind of sucks that I had to give it back... Yeah, but hey you destroyed the leader of the P.C. Coporation Conspiricy. So now everyone can enjoy the Holidays again!	Yeah that's true. Well time to send you home...	Two seconds later... Did all that really just happen? Welcome to the land of Misfit Toys!

 

I hate Black Friday... by TattooedSteve 11-25-06
Some call it "Black Friday". Ooooooh look at all the stuff on sale! I'm sure glad I got here at five in the morning !	I call it "Act like an asshole day". What do you mean I can't have this thousand dollar tool for five dollars?!

 

If my cat could talk... by TattooedSteve 11-25-06
After my day at work. So what did you do today? Slept, ate, took a leak, scratched up my favorite part of the couch and threw up a hairball the size of your head...	In the middle of the night. Dude it's two in the morning, what do you want? Tuna.	While cleaning his litter box. Dude what did you eat?! Something that looked better than it tasted... Hurt like hell passing it too.

 

Thank you Injokester!

I have soooo many new ideas to use with these new backgrounds!

by TattooedSteve, 1-10-07

 

Hindsight is 20/20 continued... by TattooedSteve 1-10-07
Man where did all my money go when I was a kid? I'd own a huge house by now instead of renting an apartment.	I am sooo beating Golden Axe today!	Oh yeah that's it...

 

The new dog... by TattooedSteve 1-24-07
Okay Jackie and me did everything the book says, you had all of your shots and your tags. Now all we have to do is intrduce you to Max. Cool...	Hi Max, I'm Renfield. Okay here's a few questions as I show you around. Are you a weird cat? Do you eat cat food or use the litter box?	Nope... Cool, the left half of the bed and the top of the couch is mine.

 

Chihuahua logic... by TattooedSteve 2-01-07
I can kick his ass!	I can kick his ass!	I can kick his ass!

 

My own private Dilbert moment... by TattooedSteve 2-25-07
Could the policies here get any worse?	I think I'll make a new rule where the only way you can call out is if you're dead! That's hot!	I had to ask... Hey asshole you're out of rocksalt!

 

You know you're getting old when...

You really do go to Hooters just for the wings... Let me have three dozen please... It's been that kind of day.

by TattooedSteve, 3-16-07

 

Rosie is an asshole! by TattooedSteve 3-16-07
WHAAAA! I GET SOOOOO DEPRESSED!	You'd hang yourself at my job you slag! I'll trade you any day! You suck, and you're out of icemelt again asshole!

 

Working sucks... by TattooedSteve 3-19-07
Hey look at me I make half assed policies that pisses customers off and then blame the workers for shitty sales blah, blah, blah! Ha ha ha , Dude do you think they really do that in the head office?	I don't know, they couldn't really be that stupid. Could they? You never know bro...	Somewhere in the head office... Now I'm going to make it where you can you can only use cupons on rainy tuesdays. And it's so cool that no one can see you but me... I like that plan! Hey this is good coffee!

 

Working still sucks... by TattooedSteve 3-25-07
Somewhere in the head office. Okay Doctor Zugaga here's the plan. When an employee dies you bring him or her back to life. That way they don't need to get paid, take breaks or medical. And they don't get a death benefit either. I'm on it!	Later that night. So if their souls show up here just send em back to their body and I'll take care of the rest. Cool that'll lighten my workload!	Two weeks later... Um, hey Todd didn't you get killed by a forklift yesterday? Yup...

 

The last work comic for a while... by TattooedSteve 3-25-07
So you're trying to tell me just because you took a business course and learned how to sell Widgets, but never worked a real retail job in your life you know more than me?	YES!	You really are an asshole! Don't matter I'm still in the corporate office and making waaaay more money than you'll ever see .

 

Another holiday killed by Retail... by TattooedSteve 3-31-07
The day before Easter... This is gonna be great. I have my bunny ears, jelly beans, chocolate bunny, colored eggs and my Peeps. Now I can, Oh No... Eh-Hem!	What are you doing here... Just wanted to let you know you wasted time getting all that stuff, because retail is open on Easter now so we can squash that holiday too!	You can take allot away from me, but nobody fucks with my chocolate, jelly beans and Peeps! Now where did I leave those "We're open Easter!" fliers?

 

Another day at my job... by TattooedSteve 10-10-07
Can I help you... Yeah, I want to return this wrench!	Why? It fell apart!	How'd that happen? I only used it as a hammer twice and it shattered!

 

Worse than the first... by TattooedSteve 11-02-07
This week on L.A. Stink. I FEEL SO BAD FARIE! BECAUSE I'M SO TALENTED AND SOOOO HOT! AND I HAVE MY OWN TATTOO SHOP! I was thinking the same thing. Let's make out! And or go to a strip club!	Somewhere in JERSEY... Holy shit, This is worse than the Florida one...

 

Hollerdayze... by TattooedSteve 11-02-07
Christmas Eve... Man I'm missing Charlie Brown's Christmas... YOU'RE OUT OF ICEMELT ASSHOLE!	Easter... Man I'm missing Peter Cotton Tail... YOU'RE OUT OF GRASS SEED ASSHOLE!	Fourth of July... Man I'm missing BBQ and Fireworks... YOU'RE OUT OF PROPANE ASSHOLE!

 

Cats and Dogs. Or maybe just my cat and dog... by TattooedSteve 11-02-07
Dude why do you eat out of the litter box whenever you get a chance?! That is so beyond nasty!	So what did you do different? It was so good! I got into the peanut butter last night when he was on the phone.	Tonight I got into the Hamburger Helper. I can taste it now...

 

TRUE STORY! by TattooedSteve 11-02-07
Why aren't you working now?! Because I'm a piece of shit BELL that you waaay overpaid for with no warranty because you thought you didn't need it, Dumb Ass!	After two hours and being hung up on by thier shit tech support for not buying the warranty... Okay here's the part where I smash you into shit! You wouldn't dare, you still owe fifteen hundred dollars on me!	Best money I'll ever spend now!

 

No, nothing alike at all... by TattooedSteve 11-03-07
Look at this looser! Dressing up in a costume like he's part of it, waiting in line for a week for tickets and remembering useless facts. Yeah , I have my costume and everything. I know! I waited for a week on line to see this one!	Later that day... You ready for the game Friday? Yesh, I waited a month on line for tickets, got my uniform cleaned, my face paint ready, and all my stats from 1950!	I wonder if they'll get it?

 

I love these frigging boots! by TattooedSteve 11-06-07
Dude, only homos wear Ugh's. Ooohhh Really?	Oh, shit! Mmmm, hmmm...	But they look good on you... And they're really warm too.

 

Why I have a nite job now... by TattooedSteve 11-06-07
Okay, I brought the props and the contract for payment. Payment? We're a non profit haunt, so we'd thought we would give you a thank you on the flier for doing all that work.	A thank you on the flier? Oh don't worry it will be a really neat font!	Sure let me see if my landlord, the electric company, the cable company and truck dealership will take that as payment. That would be great, so when are you going to get started?

 

The end of L.A. Stink by TattooedSteve 11-20-07
Wow Fairy, the tattoo show's a flop because people figured out outside of my tatt talent and looks I got nothin... Um like we can still make out or something like make out!	Somwhere in Florida.. Um like we can still make out or something like make out! Oh hells yes! Her show is falling apart!	The very next day... Hey Yogi our show's going back on, you know what his means?! *Sigh* More tantrums and bitching from you every Tuesday night?

 

This is why they don't have phones in heaven... by TattooedSteve 11-21-07
Ring, ring Hello? Hello Mr. Steve this is Tom from Annoying Collections. I'm calling about a late payment...	But I'm dead... We understand that, but you still owe us money here on earth...	But there's no jobs up here! So how am I going to get money down to you? Couldn't you sell the harp and halo they gave you? Or maybe you can borrow the money from GOD?

 

I live by The Retail Calendar... by TattooedSteve 11-23-07
March... What isle is your fake colored eggs in?	June... What isle is your fake blood in?	August... What Isle is your fake snow in?

 

Always sell the talent. by TattooedSteve 11-23-07
So you're the dude that gets beat up in allot of the strips here huh? Yup... that's me.	Wow that must really suck? Only when it's the Green Asian Girls or the Pink Donkey... I mean how do I put that down on a head shot bio for another comic strip job?	You could always list yourself as the stuntman for Stripcreator. And say you've worked with it's biggest stars. HOLY SHIT, That could work!

 

My workings with a random comic layout. by TattooedSteve 11-24-07
Look I'm really sorry about the blind date not working out. It's just I'm not into goth guys. And we're just really different...	Don't you forget about me... Nuh, nuh, nuh, nah Did you hear me?	Wow, I really do feel like a John Hughes movie character! This is so cool! You really are fucking creepy!

 

A day at my pretend office job #1 by TattooedSteve 11-24-07
What's wrong Chen? I need a raise, but I don't know how to ask for one...	Do what I did, say "GIVE ME MORE MONEY OR I'LL SPLIT YOUR FUCKING FACE WITH THIS AX!" I'M ON IT! COME GET SOME BIZNATCH!	Ten minutes later... Maybe I should have let you take my ax with you? Ya think?

 

My pretend office job #2 by TattooedSteve 11-24-07
Do it again...	Holy shit! It's that fucking arm again!	HA HA HA, Why's he yelling so much? I'm giving him the finger.

 

My pretend office job #2 The prequel. by TattooedSteve 11-24-07
Hey Doc, what's this? It's an invisibilty machine I invented to spy in the other companies office building.	So nobody can see us? The only way anyone can see you is if you go through the field.	Oh man me and Noland can so fuck with the bosses head with this. HAVE FUN!

 

My pretend office job #3 by TattooedSteve 11-24-07
God Damn I love Bloom County! Hey you reading on company time?! WHY I SHOULD KI...	Grrrrrr! Ulp...	...TCH UP TO THE COFFEE CART AND SEE IF THEY HAVE ANY BANANA NUT MUFFINS LEFT!

 

The Kid from "Christmas Story" looses it! by TattooedSteve 11-25-07
One day at the mall. Hey you're that dude that played Ralphie! Can I have your autograph?! Um, sure! Anything for a fan!	One hour later... Oh my god ! You were Ralphie how many years ago, and you still wear that retarded rabbit costume every December in the mall?!	Yup...

 

Movie theatres... by TattooedSteve 12-03-07
God I hate watching movies in the theatre...	If I see the light from or hear the ring of one more cell phone I'm shoving them up your asses! How else are we going to tell our friends what we're doing?!

 

I've really, really come to hate working with the public... by TattooedSteve 1-03-08
Wipe my ass!	Make my dinner!	Are you getting customer service and the word servant mixed up again asshole? And load my stuff, and put it in my truck, and do all of my thinking for me because I am a moron!

 

Cloverfeild... by TattooedSteve 1-17-08
Are you the Cloverfeild Monster? Sorrry, but no.	Are you the Cloverfeild Monster? Nope, they didn't even call me...	I have a really bad feeling it's going to be some kind of Blair Witch bullshit. I wonder how many morons will think it's real too?

 

It's really happened... by TattooedSteve 1-17-08
Hey Ben can you help me figure out how many strangers I hate now? Sure.	Okay I'll multiply this by that and add this then multiply it again and, WOW!	What? I ran out of zeros...

 

When I'm not there, don't bother me about it... by TattooedSteve 7-24-08
Someone spots a person that works at a local store at a BBQ. And decides to complain...	How others handle it. Hey you work at that store, well I don't like blah, blah, blah... I'll get right on it the second I get there in the morning.	Me... I don't like blah, blah, blah... Why are you telling me this shit on my day off? How bout you tell me what you do, and I'll bitch about that for a while fucktard?

 

Just another day. by TattooedSteve 8-19-08
Me... God I can't wait to go home... Almost everybody here is so fucking miserable and two faced.	Others... I can't wait to get to work and cause all kinds of drama, pass rumors, talk shit and try to make everybody hate their lives as much as I hate mine!	And others... God I can't wait to get to work, I love being a control freak. And putting up a bullshit front so I can make myself look like I work more than anyone!

 

Life with two Chihuahua's. by TattooedSteve 8-19-08
Will you two knock it off, you both have the same chew toy.	I bet her's is a different flavor. I bet his is a different flavor.	Dude why the hell did you get a second one? The first still pisses me off.

 

Status Update is... by TattooedSteve 2-15-10
Friday Morning. Why do I keep this Facebook account anyway? It's not like I have anything to post about anymore.	Saturday and Sunday. What do you mean you don't know how to build a new living room? How can you work here and not know how to build a living room?!	Monday Morning. Now I remember...

 

I really should have thought this through... by TattooedSteve 2-17-10
Oh man this is great! The Zombie Apocalypse is going on and we are ready to rock! so you thought of everything?	Like getting this mess cleaned up and seeing if the internet still exist? Well yeah, and of course the internet is still on. Hell I'm going to do a status update now.	Shit... *Internet connection not found*

 

Some days off... by TattooedSteve 2-18-10
What? I'm bored, I want to go out.	Now what? I'm cold and I want to go back in!	Hey I'm bored I want to go out!

 

Other days off... by TattooedSteve 2-18-10
So you wrote down next weeks Doctor Appointment? Yes Mom.	You sure? Yes Mom, I'm sure.	Are you sure that you're sure you wrote down next weeks Doctor Appointment? sure...

 

And why I do it. by TattooedSteve 2-18-10
This one looks good! ZOMBIE ATTACK OF DEATH STARTS FRIDAY EVERYWHERE!	I want to go to the movies today. Okay.	You are the coolest mom ever!!! I know.

 

Fun in loosing weight... by TattooedSteve 3-02-10
Man I weigh a frigging ton ...	That's it! No more eating junk, just going to start clean eating. I mean how hard can it be?	I'm sorry It's over between us... You'll be back fat ass! Nobody quits on me!

 

Dedicated to Max The Wonder Cat. R.I.P. baby... by TattooedSteve 7-16-10
I'll miss you Max...	Huh, Where am I ?! Welcome to Heaven Max!	Here is your own kitchen, where you can walk on the table and counters and tuna magically appears for you whenever you want it. NICE!!!

 

Another day at my dream job... by TattooedSteve 7-20-10
Oh shit, not you again ... Yes me again!!!	So let me guess you want a piggy back ride around the store so you don't have to walk and pick your stuff out? Yes! Say when do they do that?!	The second week of fuck yourself!!! GET ME A MANAGER!!!

 

I swear they do this... by TattooedSteve 7-21-10
Do you take lessons on how to be a huge asshole? Well since you asked yes.	Now say it with feeling! I don't care if they don't make it anymore fucking get it for me!!!	I had a feeling. Now what do I get for free?!

 

This will be the best day ever! by TattooedSteve 8-06-10
Can you just hand the money to me instead of throwing it on the counter? No because I'm better than you because I work in the city...		Use what's left of your face to complain to the manager... Gurk...

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