All comics by banger

Profile

 

by banger
6-22-02
I think it's time I got religious again. Please help me.
Just follow THE LORD and you will have a bounty in your life.
A bounty of bitches?
You wish.

 

by banger
6-22-02
I leave in five days.
:[
:[
I know, me too.
:[

 

by banger
6-22-02
If I live in your closet, it will be neat. It's either your closet or the street.
You on the streets would make me cry, but I have stuff in my closet you'll have to deal with. My parents would be a slight problem too..
Then we can run away.
You lie.
Psh. Running away would be neat too.

 

by banger
6-23-02
So I got my daughter a kitten today..
How'd that go?
She seemed to like it.. but then her grandmother ate it.
Again?
Yeah, we should really put her to sleep.

 

by banger
6-23-02
So how was the family reunion?
There was only one TV, which was constantly on car races, and everyone called me 'Sprout'.
You smell like onions.
That's a plus.

 

by banger
6-23-02
FIRST WE WILL SPREAD OUR SEED OF DOOM.
THEN THE WORLD WILL EXPLODE.
THEN WE MAKE MIDIS.

 

by banger
6-24-02
If I moved to Ohio, we could be deviants and break things.
Breaking things might get boring after a certain period. What then?
That is easy.
Then we move on to killing people for money.

 

by banger
6-24-02
Tom, you've been sitting on that bench for two weeks. Face it, she's not coming back.
She took your money, your car, and your ex girlfriend.
You need to move on. Why Tom, why torture yourself? God, you peed your pants.
The pee makes me attractive.

 

by banger
6-24-02
B TO THE O TO THE Y!
S TO THE E TO THE X!
M TO THE I TO THE C TO THE H TO THE A TO TH E TO THE L!
M TO THE I TO THE C TO THE H TO THE A TO TH E TO THE L!

 

by banger
6-25-02
So, tell me your interests and other things about yourself, Robert.
I work at home, I have five children, I enjoy playing chess, and I can see your nipples.
Hawty tawty one!
Damn right I am. But I can still see your nipples, and they're a disgusting green color.

 

by banger
6-25-02
You'll be here tomorrow. What do you want to do first?
Sit outside in the rain and drown my sorrows in a bottle of water. And cry.
Gotcha.

 

by banger
6-25-02
So I'll live in your closet, and everything will be great. I'll move in on Friday, and then we can watch cartoons.
I'm leaving tomorrow. I'll be in Orlando, getting sunburnt and being tortured by family members until the 8th of July.
Crap.

 

by banger
7-08-02
RYAN!
CHELSEA!
RYYYYAN!
CHHHHELSEA!
I'M BACK!
YOU'RE BACK!

 

by banger
7-09-02
The arcade fucking rules!
ROCK ON!
The arcade fucking rules!
ROCK ON!
I'm masturbating into your hand and then making you eat my slimey semen!
ROCK ON!

 

by banger
7-09-02
I missed you bebebebeh.
I missed you too Jen!
I got your postcard today.
WEE!
And then I peed my pants and licked the shirtless man on the front.

 

by banger
7-09-02
I SMASHED SOME ROCKS OVER YOUR HEAD!
BECAUSE I HATE YOU!
SMASHING ROCKS!
Senile.

 

by banger
7-10-02
Does life seem worthwhile to you?
I, I can help, I can help you
I can help you help yourself!

 

by banger
7-10-02
One question, madam.
If I were to pay you a large sum, would you perhaps stick several ice picks up your vagina?
I only take money orders.
I see.

 

by banger
7-10-02
I think it would be a good idea for me to take the time to organize my vast pog collection.
I have everything from Rocko's Modern Life to Jesus on the crucifix, pleading for you to visit the St. Francis Catholic Church.
You're a card.
Your only card, baby!

 

by banger
7-11-02
No.
No.
I would only make him cry.

 

by banger
7-11-02
So today is really miserable, and I'm not really sure why.
I think it's because you're gone from my house and Orlando.
Also, you seem to know only bastards.

 

by banger
7-11-02
POPPIES!
POPPIES.
POPPIES!
POPPIES.
WAIT. YOU HAVE BRAIDS.
POPPIES.

 

by banger
7-13-02
I spent the day watching some Cowboy Bebop episodes. I finally got to see the episode where Ein comes into the picture.
Ein's such an ugly dog.
But he has nubby legs.
Nubby legs don't make up for the fact that he's really ugly.
But Spike on the other hand..
Yes..

 

by banger
7-13-02
And then I am going to use my keyboard to make MIDIs forever.
Why do you make me want to hurt things?

 

by banger
7-13-02
I'm torn.
And why is that?
I can't decide which to use to ruin my self respect and my chance with this guy I met: My love of anime, or my love of books and all things nerdy in general.
Go for the anime, it tends to ruin things faster and makes things less painful.
That is why I always go to you for advice first.
Banger, don't lose my number. It's the only one you want.

 

by banger
7-14-02
Trying hard to look like Gary Cooper!
Gotta dance!

 

by banger
7-14-02
Jen, why are we so annoyed with everything?
It seems like everything has a flaw lately, especially those fuckers on the system.
Because everything IS annoying. That, and we're seriously bitter because we don't own The Keeper.

 

by banger
7-14-02
That hurt any?
No, not really.
Oh.
NAAARRLS.
AGGRAVATION!

 

by banger
7-15-02
MC MAN IN THE HIZZOUSE!
WICKYWICKY.
MC MAN GOT LOWRIDERS AND HOS LIKE WHOA!
DAMN RIGHT!
MC MAN GOT THE DOPE RHYMES!
DOPE RHYMES FOR THE PEOPLE!

 

by banger
7-15-02
WOW ORDER THIS COIN IT IS NEAT
YOU LIKE COINS
COINS ARE FUCKIN' GREAT

 

by banger
7-15-02
I LOVE AMR.
AMR IS ADORABLE.
Yeah. He sure is.
SIGH.

 

by banger
7-16-02
Forever longing..
To make you mine..
BUT I CAN'T ESCAPE YOUR STARE!

 

by banger
7-16-02
I feel absolutely homicidal.
I can't believe this. WHY?
It's simple.
MIDIS ARE EVIL.

 

by banger
7-16-02
Yo Jesus, what up? You look down today.
Yes Timmy, I am a bit sad today. It's the whole season. It depresses me.
Cheer up Jesus! I love you.
Thoughtful.
YEE!

 

by banger
7-17-02
If you kill people for me, I swear, I will get you the biggest sombrero you have ever seen in your WHOLE life.
Well..
I don't know..
You'll have to transport it on a FLATBED. BIGGEST SOMBRERO EVAR.
NO.

 

by banger
7-17-02
Dad, what the crap is wrong with me?
Well son, there comes a time in every young boy's life when he must realize that he doesn't have breasts, and he'll never be as cool as Phil Collins.
Fuck.
That's why I married your mom.
God dammit.

 

by banger
7-17-02
You know when I left you that nearly four minute message about pretzels?
Yeah. It was yesterday.
Well, I wasn't lying. That's how to make pretzels.
Okay.
I also wasn't lying about the water bottle thing.

 

by banger
7-21-02
You're on your feet again.
God dammit.

 

by banger
7-21-02
You should write a book. A book about all of the seedy characters in your life.
Like you?
I'm not seedy. I'm just difficult to deal with.

 

by banger
7-21-02
AT THE HIP CLUB
What's this super hot music they're playing?
Some Japanese schoolgirls singing about their panties being crusty and avaliable in vending machines all around Tokyo. Only $5.00.
Wow.
Yeah.
At least the beat is repetitive, and they keep flashing the colors as though to give me a seizure.
On the other hand, I took an internet quiz and it said I was addicted to Jesus's ass.

 

by banger
7-24-02
You know, someday, I am going to get a phonecall that says that you have ripped his testicle off.
Then it'll take your mom and three other people to rip it out of your hands.
Is that really so bad?
I don't know.

 

by banger
7-24-02
According to my wife, you should be dead by now. With all of that cigarette smoke, you would of simpy went POOF.
Well, you see Mitch, I am special.
Shall we dance?
Yes. We shall.

 

by banger
7-24-02
Yay for really uncomfortable, prolonged silences!

 

by banger
7-27-02
ONE TIEM I TOTALLY BEAT YOUR AZZ!!!!!11
AND THEN I KICKED YOUR SCROTUM!!!!!!!
AND THEN I WENT TO THE 7-11 AND GOT A SLURPEE
You give me a headache like no other.

 

by banger
7-27-02
I had a lot of fun tonight.. the movie was good..
You're never going to speak to me again, are you?
No, probably not.

 

by banger
7-27-02
I kind of miss my mom. She was a baking woman, and always made cherry tarts.
I have no mother.
Liar.
I know.

 

by banger
7-29-02
How many camel toes did you count?
Eight!
I got one myself.
That's hot.

 

by banger
7-29-02
I LIKE FROGS AND TO MOVE IT MOVE IT.
BASTARD.

 

by banger
7-29-02
Why don't you call or email me anymore?
Remember when I told you that hearing your voice makes me want to drink bleach?
Wow. You're STILL not over those voicemails I left?
No, I just hate you.
That's not a good explanation!

 

by banger
8-08-02
The truth is, my creativity has apparently been sucked out of me. I've had writer's block since January, and my layouts are crap.
It's another night of Jeff Buckley and water.

Showing page 2.

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