All comics by drave

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by drave
3-31-02
I feel them merging… boredom, nervous energy and lack of spontaneous creativity swirling together until… unti...
HEY DINGLEBERRY! KISS MY FUZZY BUTT!
I thought this was supposed to stop happening when I got passed 7 or 8.
Perhaps time in prison will help you learn to channel that energy in a more positive manner.

 

by drave
3-31-02
In scientific news today, scientists have developed a GUT or grand unification theory reconciling all aspects of science and, perhaps explaining the purpose of the universe itself. Professor?
That's right Edmundo. The final calculation produced a series of numbers, which analysis proved to be a a genetic sequence.
Using computer modeling we were able to produce this image of what the genetic blueprint represents.
Well. This is an interesting development.
And so the secret of the universe has been revealed. Stay tuned for weather with Wally.

 

by drave
3-31-02
We're here today with the "universe man". Sir, it has been proven that the fabric of the universe itself is merely a blueprint for your being...
...that, in a profound way, you are the culmination of all. That everyone and everything's sole reason for existing is to facilitate you.
How do you respond to this?
I could have told those egg heads that along time ago.

 

by drave
3-31-02
We're here today with psychiatrist, Dr. Psychiatrist. Doctor, what effect does being the center of the universe seem to be having on our "universe man"?
Well Eddy-mudario, as you know, the ego and the super-ego are constructs of mind designed to interface with others and facilitate the needs and desires of the id in a social context.
Of course I know that!
yes, well... "UM" is so far removed from the level of normal social context, that he has forgone those constructs. The result, he has become a quasi-verbal id man.
FOOD! SEX! BEER! NOW!
Yes your purposefulness.

 

by drave
3-31-02
In the world of science today, retraction. Scientists report that they have not, in fact, developed a GUT. We go now live with some scientists.
It was Professor Billy's first theory. Sorry for any trouble this may have caused anyone.
I spilled yoo-hoo on the computer.
There you have it. The universe is still a mystery. One wonders what effects this news will have on the common man.
sex?
uh...well... nah.

 

by drave
4-06-02
Captain I Know Karate's powers are many.
So this one time, I totally busted this guys nose and his wrist in less than 3 seconds.
Evil doers cower at the description of his abilities.
We can do this if you want to Head, but by law I have to warn you, I Know Karate.
Curse you Karate! If only I didn't suck at fighting!
In fact, he has only one known weakness...bluff calling.
Aye karate kid, lets see what you're made of then.
You're totally lucky I pulled my groin in training Steve, or else you'd be in a world of hurt in like, 3 seconds.

 

by drave
4-06-02
George Orwell said, "If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face -- for ever."
hmm...
um... dude?
ssh! Still imagining...
Hm... maybe I'm talking to the wrong person here.

 

by drave
4-06-02
I think everyone has their own way of motivating themselves in life.
True enough.
Every morning I remind myself what a precious gift life is, then I feel motivated to make the most of each day. How about you?
Every morning I remind myself that suicide is an option. That takes just enough pressure off, that I can ride out the day on a sense of morbid curiosity.
I think I'm going to be ill.
So would you consider that part of the gift?

 

by drave
4-13-02
Little kitten sitting on the floor.
*mew*
Can you tell me just what life is for?
*lick lick lick*
Dude, if I could lick myself like that I wouldn't be wasting my time pondering the meaning of .......*BONG*........ You are wise.
*mew*

 

by drave
4-14-02
hmm....
*ZZZTTTHH* *thup thup thup*
oh ya, oh baby!
Call me.

 

by drave
4-14-02
And what's up with traffic lights? Have you SEEN these things?
Excuse me. I'm sorry. But something happened to me last night that I really need to talk about.
That's it! I can't work like this! I mean are we not professionals? Is this amature night?
Y-you see, there was there leather clad nipple pierce guy and he, he...
You'll never work in this town again! Ya bum!
ooOOOooo....

 

by drave
4-14-02
*sob* I've lost my job, my home... What am I going to do?!
Hey baby, don't worry about it. I can take care of you. You're so beautiful, I know a way you can make lots of money.
Yow! This has to be the most ill advised comic I've ever made! Where did this idea come from? Hey what's that behind my computer?
*scratch scratch*
YOU!
nee hee!

 

by drave
4-20-02
Elvis?! Is that you?! Elvis they said you were dead!
Ah was dead son, but Ah had to come back.
Did you come back to lead mankind to a new age of peace and rock n' roll goodness sir?
No, Ah came back to die again. Do you have any idea what the after life is like when you die on the crapper son? It's embarrassin' as all git out.
Your name rhymes with pelvis.
There Ah am, dyin', one of the most profound experiences of mortal existance, an' all Ah can think is, "must... flush..."

 

by drave
4-28-02
bite me

 

by drave
5-03-02
Let me get this straight. God is omnipotent and benevolant. So, if he allows evil to exist in the world, it must be for the benefit of mankind?
Yes, so that we can develop things like a sense of pity and moral indignation. That's the soul forming theodicy.
So if I was to do evil things, I would be helping people "form" their souls in accordance with the will of God.
Well, I don't think thats what you're suppose to get out of that theodi...
And, everyone knows, masturbating in the change room at the Gap is evil evil evil!
I'm never teaching you anything again. Remember kids, knowledge is a tool. A tool for evil!

 

by drave
5-07-02
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
The earth was... something, and then God did... something else. I forget exactly.
Have you seen my shoes?
Phones for you. It's God again.

 

by drave
5-25-02
Wanna know what I think?
If I wanted to know what you think, I'd watch the cartoon network.
That's not very nice grumpy gus, you should be nicer to people.
*kzzt*
That's not very nice grumpy smurf, you should be nicer to people.

 

by drave
5-28-02
Some nights when I can't sleep I look back on what I gave up both consciously and unconsciously to become the individual only an ideal universe could allow to thrive
Slowly I have been stripped bare of the most basic of human rewards. This is a metaphor for how I feel my consciousness should be represented: flayed and burning alive in heaven
Ok so I didn't actually read the first two panels. I tried but I have the Meow Mix song stuck in my head. You know, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow. Did I win the contest yet?

 

by drave
6-04-02
Sweet baby jeebus on a pogo stick! Have you heard the news?!
Brad, the creator of stripcreator, has disappeared! We are going to be praying for the days of 36 hour down time unless we can find him!
Who created the what now?
There's no time to lose!

Showing page 2.

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