All comics by DragonXero

Profile

 

by DragonXero
7-30-05
Hrm... I guess I can just start up a fire and make a barbecue out here.
But I'm not dead!
Shut up. You are too.
Dead people don't talk!
Practice what you preach, rib-eye.
It's just a broken leg!

 

by DragonXero
7-30-05
Look, a broken leg isn't dead...
Exactly! I'm not d-
Therefore you do not have a broken leg.
Look, how is it possible to reason with a dead man?
You're right. I'll just eat you now instead of talking to you.
HEY, IS THAT A BOAT?

 

by DragonXero
7-30-05
Oh no, you're not getting me with that "It's a boat!" routine again!
No, really! It's a boat!
Yeah, right. And you're not dead!
I'M NOT!
Oh, hey, it IS a boat! Whaddaya know?
Oh thank g- wait... Cannibal Cruises?

 

by DragonXero
7-30-05
Help!
Listen, you damned Cannibals! You don't get no free buffet from my friend here!
Thank you!
He's all mine to eat.
I hate you.
Now go away before I break YOUR leg too.. uh.. I mean kill you... er, I mean, oh you know.

 

by DragonXero
7-30-05
Just kill me!
Listen, you bastards, unless you have some good reason I shouldn't eat him, I'm eatin' him.
Uh, I have a reason!
Quiet, you.
Oh.
NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

 

by DragonXero
8-03-05
*SKREEEE*
That is the sound of something that might fly accross the room and attach to your face!
Something with many red, beady eyes, several legs, sharp venomous fangs, a thirst for blood...
*SKREEEE*
Oh. Never mind.

 

by DragonXero
8-04-05
Human! This bar is created merely to please your senses. I shall now explain the very nature of the universe to you...
Uh, alright, go ahead.

Hey, you didn't say anything.
Of course not. Silly 3-Dimensional being. I had to inject the entirety of the idea into your mind. Your head will explode in 3, 2, 1...

 

by DragonXero
8-04-05
WE ARE HIGHER DIMENSIONAL BEINGS!
Yes! Higher!
WE HAVE COME TO DESTROY YOUR PLANET BECAUSE IT IS INSIGNIFICANT AND OFFENDS US!
Your insignificant planet offends us!
HOWEVER, IF YOU GIVE US 5 TONS OF BANNANNAS, WE MAY SPARE YOUR TINY LITTLE PLANET!
Yes! Spare it- wait. Dude, we didn't discuss this.

 

by DragonXero
8-04-05
Look, Chauncy, we're supposed to talk about these things. I mean, how are we going to go around squishing tiny planets if we can't even agree to do so?
Deiter, have you learned nothing?
What the hell are you talking about?
I like bannanas, okay?

 

by DragonXero
8-04-05
Okay, look, I'll do it this time. WE WILL DESTROY YOU WITH A THOUGHT! THIS DIMENSION'S GRAVITATIONAL CONSTANT SHALL BE CHANGED BY ONE DECIMAL PLACE AND YOUR WORLD SHALL GO POOF!
Ha ha!
What the fuck are you talking about?

 

by DragonXero
8-04-05
Alright, fine, here we go.
Good, that's better.
Gotta concentrate to make the universe disappear...
Go on.
Whoops.
This feels familiar.

 

by DragonXero
8-28-05
WE HAVE COME TO KILL YOUR WOMEN AND RAPE YOUR MEN!
DUDE! NO!
Oh, I mean, WE HAVE COME TO KILL YOUR MEN AND WOMEN, THEN RAPE THEM!
DUDE!
We.. um... have come to rape your horses?
*sigh*

 

by DragonXero
8-28-05
GIVE US LIBERTY OR GIVE US DEATH! No, that's not it...
A horse! A Horse! My kingdom for a horse! No, that's not right either.
BRING ME BOOZE AND WOMEN!

 

by DragonXero
8-28-05
What are YOU staring at?
Your tits.
*choke* WHAT?
You heard me. Your tits. They're pretty.
I... um...
It worked!

 

by DragonXero
8-28-05
We demand equal representation in the senate!
YeaH! FrEAks anD GoaTs aRE pEopLE ToO!
Speak for yourself, I'm a goat.
ShuT uP maMmAl!
At least I don't have a finger up my ass.
WaNt oNE?

 

by DragonXero
8-28-05
Any second now, this ninja will totally flip out and kill that pirate.
Arr!
HAI!
Aaany second now...
Arr?
Hai.
Bollocks.
Arr.
Hai?

 

by DragonXero
8-28-05
I.AM.DILDROID.2000
Oh? What do you do?
I.AM.A.SEXBOT
Sounds kinky. I'll try you out.
6 hours later...
*error*
Let's go again.

 

by DragonXero
8-28-05
So, yeah. Now you know I meant it when I said I'd turn you into a squirrel.
*squeak?*

 

by DragonXero
9-15-05
I want a relationship, but don't get too close to me. I hate having fuckbuddies, so let's have sex, but I don't wanna call you tomorrow.
Women like you are why men like me turn into men like him...
Oooh, he's cute.

 

by DragonXero
9-19-05
Pirate Bob?
Yes Robot Tobor?
Have you ever felt that Tobor is... losing his touch?
What, with reality? I mean, you do use the third person in reference to yourself...
PIRATE BOB NOT HELPING! PIRATE BOB FEEL TOBOR'S WANG!
See wha- GYAAAAH!

 

by DragonXero
9-25-05
Mr. President, we need to bomb Iraq some more.
Okay Mr. Cheney.
You go run off and play with your dollies, let us big boys handle everything.
I'm the best president ever!
How the hell do you keep him thinking he's in charge?
Ego. What's everyone else's excuse?

 

by DragonXero
9-25-05
IF ELECTED PRESIDENT, I WILL TURN EARTH INTO A HELLISH PIT OF DESPAIR!
If elected president, I shall carry out every one of my campaign promises, which are all to destroy the world.
Why don't we just vote for a third party that WON'T detroy or torture us?
Are you kidding? And throw away my vote? I'm going for the guy who won't destroy us.
They're both going to destroy us.
Yeah, but the democrat will destroy us a little less.

 

by DragonXero
9-25-05
If elected president, I will bring peace and joy to the world.
If elected president, I will bring new technology which will end world hunger to your world.
I dunno. For once I think both parties sound good.
But the democrats are a third party now! I am going to vote for the democrat.
He wants to make it illegal to swear in public!
But.. but.. I've always voted democrat!

 

by DragonXero
9-27-05
Hey! I missed you!
Yeah, don't get all lovey with me. I'm not in the mood. Actually, I have to tell you something...
What?
I have a boyfriend, after last night...
Later...
Well, it's just you and me, roaches.
Yeah, about that.. we have to tell you something...

 

by DragonXero
9-27-05
Crap. The heart still hurts, but now so does the head.

 

by DragonXero
9-29-05
Alright! Got my end of the world on! Wait.. something's missing...
Oh FUCK ME! I forgot to pick up the saved people before I did this. At least I Tivo'd earth.
.. What the f- ALLAH! YOU BASTARD! You recorded over Earth!
Hey, I'm never home to watch Sex in the City anymore!

 

by DragonXero
10-02-05
Oh thank God! It's one of Mother Nature's beautiful creatures, a dolphin, to help me out of here!
Fuck you man. you Peta assholes yanked me from a great gig at SeaWorld.
But, but they were using you for etertainment!
I was using them to make buttloads of cash, that's over now, thanks to you fuckers.
So you're not gonna help me escape?
No, but I did bring you a bucket of raw fish. Enjoy!

 

by DragonXero
10-13-05
RARRR!!
OH NO! It's Tobor! Are you going to manrape me?
No?

 

by DragonXero
10-13-05
So I said "Those rotor turbines aren't going to generate gravitons by themselves"
Ha ha! What the fuck are you talking about?
Gene therapy?

 

by DragonXero
10-13-05
Gimmie all your money!
Would you reconsider?
Yes?

 

by DragonXero
10-14-05
________________________________________________________________________________________
Hey dude! that is one sweetass castle!
Thanks, i inherited it from my great-grandbot.
________________________________________________________________________________________
Grandbot? Have you been taking queludes again?
How'd you know?

 

by DragonXero
10-17-05
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
Shit, shit, shit, shit!
Goddammit! Get back here! I'm hungry!
Shit, shit, shit shit!

 

by DragonXero
10-17-05
I want to s-
Shut up, goth.

 

Let's fucking do this!
BRING IT!
by DragonXero, 10-17-05

 

by DragonXero
10-17-05
The vampire is the deadliest enemy in the world, far more stealthy than the ninja.
Ted! TED!
I shall feed on ninja blood tonight!
DUDE! TED! I got my hands on some of that garlic gum you told me about!
You win this round, ninja.
It tastes like crap, but at least it'll keep that vampire from the mailroom off my back!

 

Note to self: Woodstock is not a buffet.
by DragonXero, 10-17-05

 

♫Because suicide is painless-♫
Yes yes, we all get it, you know the words to the song. SHUT UP.
by DragonXero, 10-17-05

 

by DragonXero
10-18-05
♫Beyond the rim of the star-light, my love is-♫
Goddammit, if you don't stop showing off your Trekkiness, I'm cutting off your air supply.
...♫Oooh, what are you thinking of..♫
I'm farting in your airhose.

 

by DragonXero
10-18-05
So check it out, this is my new cell phone! It's so awesome!
Yeah? What's so special about it?
It has a 10 megapixel camera, keyboard, games, and a built in DVD player and a PDA!
Yeah, so what? Mine has all those features too.
Does yours give you blowjobs?
I am so getting one of those.

 

Now, take off those pants.
<3
by DragonXero, 10-18-05

 

by DragonXero
10-19-05
Shit shit shit shit shit...
Shit shit shit shit shit shit....
I HUNGER!!!
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!

 

by DragonXero
10-20-05
I would like a hamburger with onions and cheese. No mayo or ketchup.
Dude, like, meat is MURDER!
You are a pitiful little goth working an even more pitiful job. Your advice is illogical.
Dude, I'm in COLLEGE! That means I'm smarter than you.
What warp factor would get me from this exact point in space to Pluto in exactly 5.683 seconds?
Uh...

 

by DragonXero
10-21-05
... It's yours.
FUCK!
Let's play a game, it's called "Is it malignant or not?"
God DAMMIT!
DEATH BY CORNHOLE!
Just make it quick?

 

by DragonXero
10-21-05
YES!
Wha- oh holy crap!
A new me, and a you!
This IS pretty cool.
Time for some revisionist history!
I'm leaving.

 

by DragonXero
10-21-05
Dude! Vintersorg RULES!
Man, Borknagar rules too!
But Vintersorg seriously needs to not been in Borknagar.
Agreed.

 

Nobody calls me a furry and gets away with it.
It is on.
by DragonXero, 10-21-05

 

by DragonXero
10-21-05
This bar is illogically lame. One to beam up.
Wanna touch my boobies?
That's the fifth time that's happened. Tonight.

 

by DragonXero
10-21-05
Hey, wanna go out for some coffee or something?
Hahahaha, no.
Would you like to go out sometime?
Pfffft, no.
Ugh, at least if I gotta be gay, I'll go for a guy with long hair...
Hahahahahaha, no.

 

My new cell phone has many logical functions.
Yeah, but does it blow you?
by DragonXero, 10-22-05

 

by DragonXero
10-22-05
Are you ready to find out what the Stripcreatrix is?
Hey, sure, why not?
Welcome to the real world.
What th- WHERE'D MY FUCKING HAIR GO?!
Your folicles died because you never really used them.
Oh fuck this, put me back in, you prick.

Showing page 22.

« Previous Next »