All comics by arbi

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by arbi
12-07-07
I had an ok time at the club i guess. I got lap dance from a porn star.
Somebody stole my coat or picked it up by mistake, and I'd already given my shirt to my dancer, who wore it on stage.
http://www.dannyburbol.com/juveniledrivel /index.php?page=47
Paris is staying in Indy while his boyfriend goes to florida with a sugar daddy, so that pleases me. He did Britney Spears and Jack Sparrow drag tonight.
Some guy hit on me in the men's room and tried to follow me out to the parking lot; I had to be pretty assertive to let him know i wasn't interested
but enjoyed the attention. He was younger and prettier than me, but that's not saying much.
It's snowing so driving home was difficult. Only had one drink. It was a slow night, not like Monday. The snow is a good excuse to do nothing tomorrow.

 

by arbi
12-08-07
December 7th is Delaware day. We celebrate Ceasar Rodney's ride to declare independence from the rest of South Philly.
There's a statute of him in Rodney Square in the center of town, riding a horse. You may have seen that on the delaware state quarter.
The quarter shows a picture of the statute. In reality, Ceasar Rodney didn't ride a horse. He road in a stagecoach, because he was dying of cancer.
and that quarter is a worthless hunk of zinc. vote ron paul.
Delaware has three counties, well, two at high tide.
It's almost as big as my ranch back in Texas.

 

by arbi
12-08-07
http://volokh.com/archives/ archive_2007_12_02-2007_12_08.shtml #1197133586
Today is "Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day.
Walk up to random people and say "WHAT YEAR IS THIS?" and when they tell you, get quiet and then say "Then there's still time!" and run off.
Stand in front of a statue (any statue, really), fall to your knees, and yell "NOOOOOOOOO"
Stare at newspaper headlines and look astonished.
Take some trinket with you (it can be anything really), hand it to some stranger, along with a phone number and say
"In thirty years dial this number. You'll know what to do after that."

 

by arbi
12-08-07
yesterday: got a tire. i'd gotten the wrong one the day before, and i was embarrased, so i went to a different place, also got the taillight i needed.
and i went to traffic court - they wouldn't let me pay the ticket, but at least my license hasn't been suspended yet.
up-dates: the new tenants are moving in and getting rid of the old guy's stuff.
today: i mostly sat around surfing or in chat , but i did get a couple of memos written, one of them about the traffic court situation.
tomorrow: i need to take my truck and start hauling crap out of my house, where i evicted a guy but he hasn't left yet.
joell was asleep when the guy showed, so i took the lapdance myself. i got home around 6.
tonight: i go meet a stripper who i hired to give joell a lapdance for his birthday.
(joell's straight, and the stripper's a guy. hilarity ensues?)

 

by arbi
12-09-07
I'm exhausted. After this comic, I'm going to bed, althought it's only a bit past midnight.
I did some actual work today, hauling bags of trash out of my house that I'm trying to get ready for new tenants.
There's a lot of my stuff still over there, boxes of paperwork that accumulates over a lifetime of law and activism and junk mail.
It's very hard for me to be rational and go thru the boxes and throw away most of it, because i keep running into half-finished projects from years ago and getting distracted.
I stopped by the club, it was dead. I'd taken my truck to the house so I could move boxes, but I was too tired by then to load the truck... try again tomorrow.
Otherwise, I spent time today online reading about LBJ, and in the bathtub reading about Clinton. Southerners with troubled childhoods who decide to become corrupt presidents and settle old scores.

 

by arbi
12-10-07
This just in - the Supreme Court today decided its second batch of opinions this session with three rulings.
Each one was a victory for reason, truth justice and the 'merican way. Or liberal do-goodism if you prefer.
9-0, the Court said that a gun isn't "used" in a crime when a druggie trades drugs for a gun to a narc.
7-2, the court said the trial court decision stands, giving probation instead of jail to a guy who used to sell xtc but has been clean for awhile.
the court found that judges can give lighter sentences the guidelines call for, in cases of selling baking soda mixed with cocaine.
Personally, I prefer my baking soda straight up, neat.

 

by arbi
12-17-07
It's pretty amazing the lengths people will go to to avoid updating their blogs.
today's examples come from arbitrary aardvark, letters of marque, and crescat sententia
arbi: i've been in evansville all week testing aids drugs, getting poked with sharp needles for money
heidi bond: i was clerking for sandra day o'connor
will baude: 07, clerking at the 9th circus for kozinski. 08, clerking for chief justice roberts at the supreme court
will's been my friend for oh 6 years now, but i have no idea what he looks like.

 

by arbi
12-18-07
thesis
my daily task list 12/18/07: buy oil, headlight, print and file the motion, post office, pay rent, call mom, buy a trumpet, make a better list
what i actually got done: washed the dishes, paid the rent, booked a screening, read penny arcade and sinfest.
antithesis
my tomorrow task list: buy oil, headlight, print and file the motion, post office, call mom, buy a trumpet, make a better list
what i actually got done, starting at 5 pm: oil, headlight, post office, bought coffee, started xmas shopping, looked at a trumpet, printed the motion, started laundry...
synthethis
tomorrow's task list: file the motion, bank, pay credit card and electric, clean 227, check CLEs, buy a trumpet, eat a crumpet, tip a strumpet, make better list, drive to evansville.

 

by arbi
12-19-07
kane2742/416442/
Well, I'm off to the snowboarding competition.
what's snowboarding?
it's like waterboarding, only colder.

 

deathtoradio/416462/
Pretzels! Get your pretzels here, stale pretzels. Peanuts! Fresh boiled peanuts!
by arbi, 12-19-07

 

by arbi
12-20-07
I filed the motion at traffic court, paid my credit card, got presents for denice and denephew, bought booze for those i couldn't think of anything for.
Now 4 days to ship 4,000 miles. That'll work. I have to drive back to Evansville tonight and I'm already tired.
Mailed a letter, oiled and gassed my car, took out the trash sorted the laundry bought stuff, now i need to go move boxes from the house i've rented out, and I'm already tired.
So it's call mom, move boxes, stop by the club, drive to evansville, drive to kentucky, sleep, mail stuff.
then when i come back i have to do my taxes and take a cle class and.. make a better list.
i'm getting my ex a dental appointment.
it's just what she always wanted.

 

by arbi
12-23-07
drove home from kentucky yesterday, rained the whole way. the doc says my heart is ok and i can drink coffee in moderation, although cocaine would kill me.
xmas shopping is done but not mailed.
15 minutes ago the view from my window was clear and green, and one little snowflake
*
then there was a blizzard
but now it stopped again.

 

a blimp story - http://boards.straightdope.com/ sdmb/showthread.php?t=160851
ron paul
by arbi, 12-24-07

 

by arbi
12-24-07
christopher7murphy/416825/
No! NO! The auditions are for Pair-a-DEEs!
Hatrix/416820/
that's what she said.

 

stripcreator presents: swan lake
by arbi, 12-24-07

 

tomorrow doesn't look so hot either.
today i didn't even get out of bed. i mean, no further than the computer and coffeepot.
I didn't even go to the club, which i do every monday.
by arbi, 12-24-07

 

Stray animal hotline, may i help you?
MOOooo0O0oo?
by arbi, 12-26-07

 

by arbi
12-26-07
Today felt productive. I finished my continuing legal education classes in the nick of time, $280, mailed some presents to hawaii, $60, picked up my mail went to the bank, +2105. Box, $7.
Balanced my checkbook roughed out my 2006 and 2007 taxes, made a to do list, started a memo for a new client, blogged a rant about a bad local federal case.
I should still do laundrydone, and move boxes, not done before I go to the club, $37, not sure that'll happen.
Tomorrow I can call clinics and line up a backup gig if Knoxville doesn't work out. And pay the electric bill. And input my to do list to my to do list blog.
I still haven't mailed all of my xmas presents. The apartment's still a mess. I haven't bought a new water heater for the house yet.
I checked my bank balance today - I've saved half of what I made this year, which is what I try to do when I'm working.

 

by arbi
12-27-07
Paid my utility bills ($420), did the dishes some more laundry took out the trash started cleaning the car, tried to jumpstart the truck.
Nagging feeling I might be forgetting something - I guess it was those phone calls I didn't make.
The judge denied my motion for a hearing so I'll need to consider an appeal and write some more motions.
A friend of mine called just to chat - at 7:30 in the morning! Hung up on him, slept till 2.
That's all i got. It was an easy day. Off to the club again. I have, like, $16 left, so bank again tomorrow.
So that's: didn't move the boxes, mail the presents, make the phone calls, hang up laundry, or write a better list. But it was an ok day - did my main task.

 

if you don't get the title, consider yourself lucky
by arbi, 12-28-07

 

by arbi
12-28-07
http://howappealing.law.com/ 122807.html#030974
This just in: Hicks released from Yatala

 

by arbi
12-28-07
http://vark.blogspot.com/2007/12/ hawaiian-stone-soup-when-i-went-to.html
I slept late and didn't get anything done.
Went to the bank, shopped for a water heater, made veggie soup, blogged a little, now off to the club. Must not drink tonight.
goals for tomorrow - up early h & r block for taxes, make phone calls, make better list, jump the truck, move the boxes, snacks to joell's, get car fixed.
update: did nothing.
And now the sports wrap-up. San Franscisco Tigers 3, Urchins 0.
That's not sports, Bob

 

by arbi
12-29-07
Those TPS reports aren't going to generate themselves.
http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/ crabby/417210/

 

by arbi
12-29-07
http://www.homeruncomic.com/homerun/ ?date=20050315
Look, a firely.
Why did you do that?
It was my impersonation of the Fox network.

 

by arbi
12-30-07
HydeGuy/417332/
Run for your lives! The aliens are coming! They´re preparing their anal probes! We´re doomed!
hola, amigo
back atcha, boy
Greetings earthling. What does this room rent for?
Hourly.

 

by arbi
1-01-08
My goals last year were to get a job and start dating again. The job thing worked out ok. There's room for improvement in the other area.
Resolutions this year same as always:
Drink more, and spend more time chasing loose women.
Since most people fail at their resolutions, I at least try to pick managable ones where it's ok if I fail.
This past year I drank less and spent less time chasing loose women. I'll probably drink less this year, not counting tonight.
My private dancer and I pretended we didn't know each other tonight, because his boyfriend was there.

 

by arbi
1-02-08
todays comic sponsored by www.penzeys.com - they make the balti spice i added to this chili, from an old baltistani recipe.
I've been needing to move some boxes from my house, which I rent out, to my office, where I actually live.
So I went to walmart to get a battery for the truck, but the transmission in my car went out. Limped home.
Hand-mixed from coriander, garlic, ginger, cumin, dundicut chilies, Ceylon cinnamon, brown mustard seeds, cardamom, clove, fennel,
When my mechanic put the battery in the truck, he broke something, so we got that fixed, and made plans for the new transmission.
It's been like the boat fox goose grain puzzle, finally got the boxes moved. So my keyboard is now on a real desk instead of balancing on a bucket.
fenugreek, charnushka (kalonji, black onion seed), ajwain, star anise, black cardamom, cilantro, anise seed and bay leaf.
It's 5 degrees out. I don't think the truck has heat - I'll be taking it to knoxville if it makes it that far. It's 55 inside, so I have on a sweater.
it's 5:30 am, so I'll probably hibernate all day. I still haven't mailed some of my christmas presents.

 

by arbi
1-02-08
christopher7murphy/417598/
or maybe

 

by arbi
1-03-08
the truck did not make it to knoxville. stalled out at the first rest stop, i spent a couple hours in 5 degree weather trying not to freeze, got it started, came home, slept.
of course the rest stop's coffee machine was broken, and it was in the middle of nowhere.
i had three blankets two coats two sweatshirts, but it was cold.
off to catch a greyhound.

 

by arbi
1-05-08
a comic about my exciting trip to knoxville will go here.
after i've slept for a few days.

 

by arbi
1-05-08
kane2742/417862/
Look! an unidentified flying object!
I see it, I see it! Do you see it Jimmy Earl?
Yup Dennis, thar it is. What could it be?
Who is Ron Paul?

 

by arbi
1-05-08
highlights included the world's fair park from that simpson's episode,
So I went to Knoxville TN to check out a new place to do medical studies, which is how I support my stripcreator habit. Truck broke down so I took a greyhound, 800 mile round trip.
Found the place ok, did the screening. Now I have to mail in a card with some fecal samples. There's a metaphor there somewhere. Walked across Knoxville, had some curry tofu, got blisters.
and the instapundit law school, where i checked my email.
Found the youth hostel where I'll be staying if I get in to the $3500 study. Went to a redneck beer-only football and elvis bar, a swanky italian restaurant bar,
and a 'the only gay bar near the cincinnati bus station' bar. Because you don't want to be sober on a greyhound.
The bus was late so we missed our connection to indy. The next day they lied and put me on a bus that was really going to Dayton. I met a cool homeless vet at the hardees and we had fried potatoes and
coffee. Today I finally got back to Indy, got to take a bath, put on clean clothes, sleep.

 

by arbi
1-08-08
http://dannyburbol.blogspot.com/ 2007_12_01_archive.html
I stumbled home drunk from the club a few minutes ago.
Discovered that a webcomic I read half* of has a blog, with comic recipes. I'm making the one for corn soup. My soup pot still had a little rice in it, so I left that in.
*www.dannyburbol.com/juveniledrivel
I don't have the creamed corn or the white pepper, but close enough. I happen to have some murdered bird stock, some ACME canned corn, and the two eggs and pepper.
I hear it boiling now, so it's time to reduce the heat and add the eggs.
dump cans of stock, corn, creamed corn, too much pepper, into pot, boil. name the pot. turn off heat, stir in 2 beaten eggs. taste, maybe add pepper. serve with leftover half sandwhich.
It's not too bad. Next time, I'll use veggie stock and remember the creamed corn. The 'too much pepper' is what makes this dish really work.
Could use a garnish, something green like scallion or cilantro, parsley or a snow pea.

 

by arbi
1-08-08
Do you have the Fonseca 83?
Er, no.
Perhaps a Delaforce 86?
No, but the captain may have something in his quarters.
themushroom/418044/
Eh, any port in a storm.

 

by arbi
1-08-08
This just in! Clinton leads O'Bama 39-36, Edwards trails, with 60% reported.
McCain over Romney 36-31, with Huck, Hooligiani and Paul bringing up the rear at 11, 9 and 8%.
delegate count: 9 clinton 9 o'bama 6 mccain 3 romney
Because Jon Stewart is still on vacation.
Stay tuned for tomorrow's coverage of Crawford v Rokita.
In this corner, weighing in at 285 pounds...
this just in - fox has called it for hillary

 

by arbi
1-10-08
On the one hand, I almost ran into a school bus today. I was merging into the right lane without signalling when it passed me on the right at high speed.
note to self: get life insurance.
On the other hand, I wrote a motion and a contract and took out the trash did two loads laundry went to the post office mailed some packages, hung up the laundry, read the transcript from Crawford.
All I'd done so far this week was sleep and hit the bars a couple times and stay up all night playing cards against my computer..
On the third hand, then I slept through the evening woke up at midnight and haven't gotten anything more done.

 

by arbi
1-12-08
http://www.foxnews.com/ story/0,2933,321991,00.html
Do you Robert, take Emily as your wife yadda yadda, and do you Emily take Robert ditto?
I do
Me too.
This just in: Twins separated at birth have married each other without realizing they were brother and sister, it has been revealed.
D'oh! Anulled.

 

by arbi
1-12-08
the contuing saga of the aardvark that doesn't get much accomplished
It's saturday morning. I almost got up and went to a ron paul signwaving party i got invited to by somebody on plentyoffish.com, but the lure of the internet was too strong.
Last night involved printing stuff at kinkos and then body shots of tequila at the club. I think Cobb was there.
http://www.boingboing.net/2004/11/21/ neal-stephensons-sys.html
Today I'm highly tempted to lounge around the house reading Neal Stephenson's Quicksilver, that my brother sent me.
52 today!
Sigh.. I should have sent a card or something.

 

crabby/418620/
Now, to maka da cat jam, you will need a little pot, 4 pounds sugar, a candy yermometer, and a medium-sized cat.
www.yourmometer.com, said the pet with the sly wink
by arbi, 1-13-08

 

by arbi
1-13-08
Some guy might come over and give me a haircut, so I've been cleaning.
That is to say, there's now a path from the door through the clutter.
(he didn't)
Washed the dishes took out the trash, on my third load of laundry. This is after a couple days of doing nothing.
He said he'd come over today so I figure the odds at about 23% that he'll show up.
http://www.jaynaylor.com/ betterdays/archives/
I could keep cleaning, or I could go back to my book. odds favor the book.
I hung up some more laundry, made choclate soy pudding, made soup, read "better days", a cat-boy webcomic. It's 7 pm and bedtime - then i cleaned for two more hours.

 

What happens when you don't pay the exorcist?
You get repossessed?
by arbi, 1-14-08

 

by arbi
1-14-08
http://xkcd.com/370/
Hi i'm aragorn
Hi i'm eragon ........... jinx!
I'm here to reforge my broken sword so I can lead an army against the tyrant who is threatening my people.
I found this magic egg which was a discovery that led me on a predestined journey where I realized I'm the one person who can defend my home against an evil king.
http://www.bartleby.com/196/
Hai Guyz. I'm Barack Hussein O'Bama. Vote for me against the evil witch.

 

by arbi
1-15-08
Meanwhile, I didn't do anything again today. Paid the rent, made a phone call, did some cooking.
Mostly I've been reading "better days", a webcomic with anthropmorpic catboys and bunnies mice dogs etc, as southern teens in the 80s.
http://www.jaynaylor.com/betterdays/

 

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_of_January_16th
Happy The Night of January Sixteenth, everybody.
by arbi, 1-16-08

 

by arbi
1-18-08
I don't feel inspired to make a comic, but i want to keep up the habit. Weds-Thursday: went to evanville and back. It turns out my truck runs better with oil in it.
I screened for a study, just as well, since I didn't get into the Knoxville one. Stayed in my usual hotel, ate at a different asian buffet, stopped at my usual starbucks, went to the club.
http://www.realitymachine.net/
Today, $6 in gas to go buy $9 of decaf coffee. Checked the mail, bills, junk, and 30 cards from realitymachine.net
Realitymachine.net ........................................ Sometimes we make stuff up .....................................
http://jalr.org
Oh and I ordered some tshirts from cafepress, violating my firm rule about never buying anything online. They are shirts that advertise jalr.org, the site i get my study info from.
It's friday night and I'm gonna stay home and read a book.

 

by arbi
1-20-08
panel 1 of at least 6
my plans for last night: dinner with mitchell, another dinner with the plentyoffish networking site folks, stop by the club, then joell's party.
how it played out: dinner with mitchell, then crashed at home. We went to one of those fancy old rich gay guy restaurants, English Ivy's.
See, my idea of a gin and tonic is a shot of gin in a glass of tonic.
Their idea is a glass of gin with a shot of tonic.
I remembered two of my dreams, whcih I usually don't. One where my wallet was stolen, followed by chase scenes, the other, they lost a paper I'd turned in and needed the grade for to graduate -
graduate from law school, which was 14 years ago. So they were both anxiety dreams about losing something, set in places I used to go to school. Hmm.

 

by arbi
1-20-08
http://liliane.comicgenesis.com/
Spent much of the past three days catching up on the last few years of liliane's webcomic.
although i'm not technically a bisexual lesbian artist from quebec with a dog, she comes as close as anybody out there in expressing how I feel about stuff, except she's not veggie.
It was 1 degree out this morning, so it's another day holed up inside. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ The_Book_of_General_Ignorance
i finished reading "the book of general ignorance - everything you think you know is wrong." it was fun.
stuff like "where do panama hats come from?" or "who is buried in grant's tomb?" or "who invented the light bulb"
bonus: i got an article posted to slashdot. about NASA photos of mercury
Meanwhile, this just in: Ron Paul second in Nevada, ahead of McCain, Guliganiani, Thompson, Huckabee, etc.
I've barely looked at my to do lists so far this year. Most days I don't even try to work on the backlog of undone projects.

 

by arbi
1-20-08
You want to go to a strip club with me?
Sure.
i had a pretty good time at the club tonight. kissed by a dancer, a lapdance from a customer, a possible date with the doorman. spent $19.
uh, this isn't quite what i had in mind.

 

http://xkcd.com/372/
curses!
recurses!
by arbi, 1-21-08

 

by arbi
1-22-08
My latest invention is a robot fly. I shall use it to take over new york city, and from there, the world.
If this works, I could reach my dream of someday being written up on slashdot
http://hardware.slashdot.org/ article.pl?sid=08/01/22/1548208
maybe now geena davis will go out with me

Showing page 23.

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