All comics by Ranger77

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by Ranger77
1-17-10
I won't get to actually be inside Pat Robertson's brain?
Nope....too dangerous. We will use an unmaned drone that you will control through a psionic helmet.
Robertson's mind is a volitile miasma of strong opinion and self image. Navigating his thought processes will not be easy.
Opinion and self image, eh? What about intelligence and logic?
No problem there. That'll be like wrestling a five year old....

 

by Ranger77
1-18-10
As part of your training to go inside Pat Robertson's brain you must sign an agreement not to disclose anything you MAY find in there to the public.
Ok....
This includes any inflated belief he is God's spokesman, Viagra addiction, "Naughty Meter Readers 4", Vodka for breakfast, Sarah Palin warm pudding fantasies, clown porn...
Any questions so far? I've got about about 20 more pages of this stuff.
Oh Hell no. Please continue.

 

by Ranger77
1-18-10
I'm sorry. If you want to explore Pat Robertson's brain you must wear protection.
I thought I wasn't actually going in. I'm controllng a robot or something.
You are. You still need protection. Pat's mind is a dangerous place. Come on out. Let's see how it looks.
*sigh* Ok. But this sucks.
Looks good....you kinda look like that guy from Spam W0rld.
Funny man. And you look like that guy the monks sold a "enlightened" Fruit Roll-Up to.

 

by Ranger77
1-20-10
I know it sounds stupid. I could care less about Pat Robertson. I'm intrigued by the whole thing. You have to admit it should be an interesting experience.
I'll be exploring his brain and finding out what surreal weirdness drives his thoughts and actions.
You look like a Power Ranger.
I'm trying not to think about that.

 

by Ranger77
1-22-10
I WILL BE THE UNIT THAT WILL EXPLORE PAT ROBERTSON'S BRAIN.
You're a bit big for a nanomachine.
MY SIZE CAN BE REDUCED TO ANY DEGREE OF MAGNITUDE FOR VARYING INSERTION METHODS.
Ok....
FOR EXAMPLE MOST HOLLYWOOD ACTORS AND POLITICIANS PREFER MY 8 CENTIMETER MODE FOR ANAL RECREATION. I USUALLY FLAIL MY ARMS AND...
Stop talking now.

 

by Ranger77
1-22-10
THE GOP HAVE ME ON RETAINER FOR PARTIES. THE DEMS CALL ME EVERY FRIDAY FOR THEIR NUDE CANDYLAND GAME NIGHT.
You're a sex toy.
I'M A SPECIAL PURPOSE UNIFIED GROUP ENTITY.
That breaks out to S.P.U.G.E
SHIT.....I GUESS IT DOES....
You could call yourself a HELPER OMNIBOT or "H.O.", I suppose. Only two letters and a bit more direct....

 

by Ranger77
1-25-10
The SPUGE unit is deployed. It will be in Pat Robertson's brain in less than an hour.
That's pretty quick.
It's not very difficult. We've been keeping him under constant surveillance. Check out this monitor. See? He's sleeping.
That's....disturbing.
No, disturbing is seing him naked, covered in syrup and tied to a chair while a prostitute dressed as Aunt Jemima throws pancakes at his mouth.
You need therapy, dude. You've seen too much.

 

by Ranger77
1-26-10
"Ok, SPUGE are you in Pat Robertson's brain?"
YES I'M IN. KINDA QUIET SO FAR. I SHOULD BE MEETING HIS LOGIC NERVE CLUSTER SOON.
"What will it look like?"
I EXPECT THE CLUSTER TO MANIFEST ITSELF IN AN APPROPRIATE FORM FOR HIS LOGICAL PROCESSES....
I THINK I FOUND IT.
'sup, homie.

 

by Ranger77
1-27-10
"This guy is more fucked up than I thought."
AGREED. NOW IS A CRITICAL TIME. I MUST GAIN THE TRUST OF PAT ROBERTSON'S LOGIC CLUSTER....
....IF I AM NOT CAREFUL IN HOW I EXPRESS MYSELF THE WHOLE MISSION IS LOST!
*AHEM* 'SUP PLAYA. WHERE THE BITCHES AT UP IN HERE?
They all around, son. All around. Follow me, 'aight?

 

by Ranger77
1-28-10
"FUCK....ALL Y'ALL."
I think the mission is going well.
SPUGE has been sitting on the manisfestation of a porch, smoking pot and drinking malt liquor for the past six hours with a Klansman that sounds like Tracy Morgan.
"VIRGINIA BEACH, REPRESENT!! VB BAY-BEE!"
You should think of this as an investigation. Sometimes you have to go undercover. We just have to give it more time.
Face it, SPUGE has gone native.
"WHACHOO LOOKING AT?! WHERE MY BITCHES!"
Hmm, it may have "Bitch-Lock." Quite common to nanomachines actually. When a unit doesn't get its 'bitches' in a timely manner it....
That's it. I'm out.

 

by Ranger77
1-29-10
They ended up having to self destruct the SPUGE unit. Didn't harm Pat Roberston though.
I'm told since it was a nanomachine the resulting explosion came out as a fart. Pat blamed the fart on the pact the city of Cleveland made with Satan in 1994.
No snappy comeback about classless and topical obscure reference humor?
Not while I'm looking at porn. Maybe later.

 

by Ranger77
7-13-10
They say the BP oil spill could trigger a Methane bubble that would poison the atmosphere and destroy all life on the planet.
*sigh*
I hear Snooki is back with The Situation.
SERIOUSLY?!

 

by Ranger77
7-24-10
The old place hasn't changed much.
Nope. Not at all. Kinda makes you want to hit the start button and run the comic all over again.
http://www.fathead.com/disney/hannah-montana/hannah-montana-fathead-junior/
Start button?
On the wall over there underneath the Hannah Montana Fathead.

 

by Ranger77
7-31-10
I really don't think we're ready to come off this hiatus thing yet.
I agree...which is why I've actually booked a few strips based on ideas that didn't make the cut.
That....doesn't sound good. You didn't dig up that one script....
Yep. A tale of advanced technology and conflict in the near future....
"Robot Wars!"
FUCK YOU!
NO, FUCK YOU!!

 

by Ranger77
8-01-10
Fuck YOU!
No, dude....FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU AND GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!
YOU KNOW WHAT?? FUUUCK YOOOOU!
FUCK. YOU.
FUCK YOU...YOU STUPID FUCK!!!

 

by Ranger77
8-11-10
FUCK YOU!
I SAID "FUCK YOU!!!"
Dude....
It's okay....After all we've been through I just wasn't expecting something that....hurtful....

 

by Ranger77
4-26-11
And who the hell are you?
I am the Chicken of Destiny.
I...don't...
Don't speak. Just think about it for a minute....and bask in my awesomeness.

 

by Ranger77
6-27-11
So....what exactly does a "Chicken of Destiny" do?
It's quite simple actually. I speak and lesser beings hang on my every.....
"Your every...."
Word. HA! Peasant.

 

by Ranger77
6-27-11
Well Mr. "Chicken of Destiny" I think you are an arrogant egomaniac.
I agree I have the biggest ego in the UNIVERSE!
Ok....I think your atittude SUCKS!
Yes. Yes I have the biggest attitude in the UNIVERSE!
How about this: You are a DICK!
You're just not getting this Chicken of Destiny vibe are you?

 

by Ranger77
7-04-11
Ok. I'll play along. You are "Destiny Chicken." What exactly does that mean?
I am THE Chicken of Destiny, unbeliever. THAT means I am supreme ruler of my domain .... this REALM OF EXCELLENCE!
Looks more like a Realm of Underachievement to me.
I have a bounce house coming next Wednesday. When it arrives, you will shake in fear of my supreme chicken bouncy-ness....

 

by Ranger77
8-28-11
Ok. Do something "mystical." You're such a badass chicken. Do SOMETHING that will make me believe all this.
Fine then. I realize that lesser beings often need physical, tangible proof to believe in the reality that is right in front of them. I will submit to your weak mind....
Think of a number between one and ten!
Fuck.
That's not a number.

 

by Ranger77
8-28-11
Look....this is bullshit. I'm just about done.
That's a reasonable reaction to being in the presence of such awesome power.
No. It's a reaction to not being paid enough money as a lab assistant to explore the psyche of a delusional chicken on psychotropic drugs.
What?
Dammit, you went off script! His psionic levels are off the charts!
Fuck it. $7.50 an hour wasn't worth that BS. Cut me my check and I'm outtie. I hear the Poly Sci folks want to explore Newt Gingrich's brain. Might take an hour...

 

by Ranger77
6-22-12
In their absence, the world has moved on. Wars, conflict, crime....
Still they remain....waiting. You can't truly kill an idea, especially when it is about freedom, justice and....
Our royalty checks are done. We have less than $100 in the bank.
Vacation over. Time to get the old band back together...

 

by Ranger77
6-22-12
And so, his team scattered to the four corners of the earth, a hero begins to rebuild his team....
I need to start the team up again. The world needs us now, more than ever before!
You're broke aren't you?
I lost more ass on that Facebook IPO than a donkey breeder with an open fence.

 

by Ranger77
6-23-12
It won't be like it was before. We will be a stronger, more powerful team doing good for humanity.
All we did was argue. It made us look like idiots. I have incredible superpowers and you made me the Tech Support guy!
We will build off of our mistakes and our past victories.....
What "victories"?
That whole Windows migration.....went ok. Now I need to get my iPad on the corporate VPN and that Cisco client is...
WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE??

 

by Ranger77
6-25-12
Getting the "League of Defenders" back together is proving to be difficult....
Marvel thinks you are trying to capitalize off "The Avengers" and illegally using the name "Defenders"
That's just....silly.
DC is also pissed. They don't like your use of the word "League."
That's just great! So what are we suppose to call ourselves?!
LegDef? What the hell?
If you say it to yourself enough, it doesn't sound like THAT much like a bad rap artist from Atlanta....

 

by Ranger77
6-25-12
I OWN THIS HIGHWAY. NONE SHALL PASS....
If that is the case I will be forced to move you myself.
YOU WILL FIND I AM AN ANCIENT AND POWERFUL FORCE.
And I am Toro of the force for freedom and justice known as LegDef and....
DUDE. WAIT A MINUTE. LEG WHO?
You see?! The new name sucks. Now even ancient and powerful squid things think I'm a doof.

 

by Ranger77
6-26-12
"LegDef's" Orbital Fortress...
Not only no, but HELL NO!. I am not returning to this team.
Aw come on, CatLass. Everyone is coming back: EnergyGrrrl, Toro, Orgo... Maybe even Reaper!
6/26/12 5:32pm
Reaper?! HA! There is NO WAY he'll be back. If Reaper comes back, not only will I come back, but I'll flash both of you with my tits.
6/26/12 5:49pm
CatLass titties? Count me in.

 

by Ranger77
6-27-12
Wow....I guess I didn't expect....
Yep.
That's....different. I mean....more than two, less than four or even, um...six.
I know. Some people actually call that "three", Reaper. Welcome back. *sigh*
I just assumed female...cats had an even number of.....
Are we done here?!

 

by Ranger77
6-28-12
Captain Justice has locked himself in a closet and Reaper has a goofy smile on his face that I can see despite the mask. What did you do??
I told the Cap'n if Reaper came back I would flash my tits at both of them I did. All three.
You don't have three tits. I've seen you naked in the shower.
Yeah. I know. It's a prosthetic device. Used it a few times with this guy I was dating a few years ago. Not cheap either. Had to get a plaster cast to get just the right...
Wait. When did you see my tits in the shower?!?

 

by Ranger77
6-30-12
15 mins later...and an (uncomfortable) explanation later....
So...yeah.
Yeah. Ok.
(*Ranger's World - 3/7/06)
I was drunk and you were too and you insisted that ....well....like in the movie*....
Yeah. I was...pretty drunk. Yeah. I remember now. Somewhat. Uh...yeah.
You have nice...um....feet too.
Fucking catnip....

 

by Ranger77
7-01-12
You didn't....
Yeah. I ran my big mouth AGAIN. What was I supposed to do?
Well it was a one time thing. It was probably good that you did say something. She was pretty wasted and she came on to you first so....
Yeah, I know. You're a good friend. I knew you would understand. Thanks for not making me feel bad.
You didn't mention anything about that freaky foot stuff did you?
Dammit, Toro...

 

by Ranger77
7-07-12
Superheroes suck. You guys don't think. Just hit and hit and hit and pose for pictures. Disgusting.
What I would bring to your team is simple: Precision Rapid Protest Drumming! Let me show you the blog I wrote about it on my iPad...
Interview. You were supposed to INTERVIEW candidates....
Couldn't help it. He was part of the 99% that I usually throw out of windows. So...

 

by Ranger77
7-10-12
Meanwhile....
Defenders League, "LegDef".... whatever. They are a bunch of morons. You're getting worried over nothing.
Once again you a being shortsighted. They could be a threat. You are a fool for not thinking so. A pathetic, naive, fool.
Still haven't gotten over that "tentacle envy", have you?
It's not the size it's how you use it, bitch! I mean .... er.... miscreant!

 

by Ranger77
11-11-16
Years ago, the cast and crew of Ranger's World made their final comic and "hit the road" exploring other dimensions.
And now. TODAY. We are happy to announce the RELAUNCH of Ranger's World as our heroes return to OUR reality! Here they come now!
Um...guys?
Fuck. That.
We heard about Trump.

 

by Ranger77
11-11-16
Well, this is awkward...
Yep
I hear Crabby made a racist knock-knock joke on 4chan the other day while surfing for amputee clown porn. Go bug him....

 

by Ranger77
11-12-16
Well, heck. Let's fill time with some "man on the street" crap.
So how are you feeling days after this turbulent election?
Great!! I just wish these whiners would move on. So disrespectful. Give the man a chance....
FLASHBACK: November 8, 2007
First he's going to give all his people power and we will become SLAVES! BLACK PANTHERS! BLACK HELIPCOPTERS! I WANT MY COUNTRY BACK!! I'm so FUCKING SCARED!
Where did he go?
Apparently he suddenly remembered there was a sale on Werthers Originals at Walmart today.

 

by Ranger77
11-12-16
Well, let's try this again.
So tell me how this election affected you?
I'm so upset. I fear for this country. The system is an evil, racist beast. That's why I didn't vote.
Wait, you didn't vote?
I chose to fight the system by posting on my blog, retweeting messages of diissent, finding poignant memes and combating ignorance through Facebook responses.
So essentially you just fucked around on the Internet and talked shit.
It's called being "woke."

 

by Ranger77
11-12-16
Some dude grabbed me today.
I didn't get grabbed. I just spent the day muching on the carpet.
Ok. I'm done. Who actually writes this stuff?
Can I get my check now?

 

by Ranger77
11-12-16
You guys have to come back. We're dying over here!!
Not my concern.
We like it here.
But think about your fans!
Supposedly we have four. Besides, this dimensional travel stuff is actually kind of cool.
Beats the hell out of all that "haha" gag shit day after day.
We...have cake?
Now you just sound pathetic.
The cake is a lie, dude....

 

by Ranger77
11-17-16
Ok...the NEW Ranger's World starts NOW. For real this time...
Um...gee I hope I don't get caught up in a convoluted, multi strip, BAD science fiction storyline about dimensions.
Boo. I am a random character. I add a surreal element.
Oh my. You...um...remind me of some topical poilitical or social thing and I should comment on that now.
At this point I will say something word "fuck" or "bitches" and continue this for multiple days!
Wow....and a "random comic layout," too.
If I wasn't so amused, I'd say we should be insulted.

 

by Ranger77
11-17-16
Dammit. Ok. Let's do a HEROWORLD thing. 3....2....1....
The situation is dire, my friend.
Yes. It is. UNLEASH THE KRAKHEAD!!
Dude...
Kra-KEN. Kraken. Ok. I got this.
Fuuuck. They are getting worse.
You need to stop caring about that strip crap. There's a tree with nipples over here...

 

by Ranger77
11-17-16
Dear SC, I , for one, hope this sick joke of Ranger's World coming back is truly just a joke. Those comics are SO boring! I've got charts to prove it!
They always have WORDY things going on. If that strip wanted to be funny they should look at the strips I made here years ago when I was 14! Please tell them to stop.
Meanwhile...
Dayy-yum....Tree nipples ARE tasty.
I know, right....

 

by Ranger77
11-17-16
I think the guy behind Ranger's World was weird and lonely. I asked him about that once...got some bullshit answer. Why make comics if you don't want your ego stroked?
Fuck him. I mean come on...he never was on IRC or the forums....He never commeneted on my comics or made me a favorite. He NEVER paid much attention to me!
After all these years you still haven't gotten laid have you?
Why are you so hurtful?

 

by Ranger77
11-18-16
I'm glad dimensions aren't like countries.
How so?
Well, I was thinking. It's harder now to emigrate to Canada, for example and...
Dude...no. Stop it. This is panel TWO! You know what happens when....
Shit.
Shit.

 

by Ranger77
11-19-16
Heh. Welcome back, guys!
Well, that was awkward.
Which would be normal.
So all you have to do now is to try to be funny on a regular basis and read over 1200 comics to keep continuity.
We are so fucked.
This was rigged. Who jammed us up?
http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/Ranger77/sets/sidereals/308130

 

by Ranger77
11-21-16
This is unfair. To come back and THEN find out this has happened.
It wouldn't have "happened" if alot of people didn't want it to happen.
It's insane.
I know, but luckily some people have been very vocal. There's no turning back, but I don't see this working out. The backash is coming.....
Agreed...but the sheer amount of FAIL in even the idea of a MINECRAFT movie? *shudder*
"Make Steve great again," is the subtitle, I hear...

 

by Ranger77
11-22-16
I'm still not used to being back.
Yeah. Sucks. I'm just keeping myself busy.
That sounds sinister.
Yep. With all this talk about "fake news" I've planted a story about an extremist gamer movement that demands CHANGE back to the way things were in 90's. Look at this...
"Alt-Tab?"
Like you didn't see that coming....

 

by Ranger77
11-22-16
The Alt-TAB movement ...
We need to go BACK. Back when REAL MEN made autoexec.bat and config.sys files. Heil DOS!
When you surrender to the elitist gaming establishment you know what you get? Three words: "No Man's Sky!" HEIL DOS!
Battlefield 3. Never. Happened. HEIL DOS!

 

How the HELL did you create a video of DOS-era extremist retro gamers at a rally?
Internet.
by Ranger77, 11-22-16

Showing page 26.

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