All comics by christopher7murphy

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I supose you're going to make a tribute to Cyd Charisse, famous dancer from the forties and fifties?
Of course! She was one of the greatest dancers and actresses of her time.
She appeared with Fred Astair and Gene Kelly and even Janet Jackson in her later years.
In 1952, her legs were so desirable that they were insured for the world record price of FIVE MILLION dollars!
With or without the hightops?

 

The flooding in Iowa is getting worse, how is it affecting business?
Traffic can't get in or out of town, and many families are going through crises that are keeping them away from the mall.
Well, don't turn cynical. Things will get better.
You clogged the stool again, didn't ya?
Sure! Blame me. I knew you would.

 

Yo, dimwit! Where's my book? I ordered it a week ago!
I'm sorry sir, but the flooding in Iowa has affected our deliveries.
Can you believe the nerve of some people? Oh..by the way, did my book come in yet?
No, the flooding in Iowa has messed up deliveries all over.
Oh, I thought you were just just making excuses to that last customer because he was being an ass.
I was, but YOUR book really hasn't arrived yet.

 

There...It's finally finished.
One regulation pornographic video booth with inflatable goat!
And just in time, the river's about to crest.

 

Hey? What the heck are you doing?
Trying to reach the "read this comic " clicky thing below this panel.
You fool! If that gets clicked with you down there, you'll be lost forever.
Hello?

 

Doc? Where did you come from?
K-Marty, it's your kids! Something has to be done about your kids.
In the future, a freak accident turns all copywrite lawyers amphibious!
Ribbit! Ribbit!
We better back up or we will run over that toad.
TOAD, K-Marty? Where we're going...we won't need toads!

 

Doc! You gotta fix this. If my folks don't meet, I'll never be born.
If we only had a way to produce the 5.1 giggawatts necessary to power the Pontiac.
McFly! I'm calling you out!
And that gay cowboy keeps hitting on me!
Great Scott! Brokeback Mountain isn't suppose to be premiered for another twenty years.

 

Doc, if we dont fix the time/space continuim, eveything we know could be erased from existance!
Quick, K-Marty. Let me see that picture of you and your brother.
Eeep.
It's worse than I thought. I'm M Night Shyamalan?
Great Scott!

 

Hey Chuck! It's your cousin, Leroy... LEROY Berry. Listen to this!
K-Marty, under no circumstances must you follow me. I'll be living out my days in the old west. P.S. You mustn't throw your life away.
Hey..you're right. That guy sounds just like the guy from "Taxi."

 

Hey Doc, if we don't get the Pontiac up to 88 miles an hour...we'll be stuck in the old west!
It's worse than you think, K-Marty. We will miss all the hot movies of 2008. Like the new Batman movie, 'The Hulk'...'Iron Man.'
That's right Doc...and also the remake of 'Get Smart' ...and....and...
...M Night Shyamalan's 'The Happening!'
Slow up a little, would ya?

 

Hey, can you help a fella out?
I'm working by myself. Could you watch the store so I can go to the bathroom?
I don't know. CAAAAAAAANNN you go to the bathroom?
You would think anyone that worked in a bookstore would use proper grammer.
Hey..look. I guess I "CAAAAAANNN!"

 

Hulk want curious monkey book!
I'm sorry, we're sold out of Curious George books right now.
er....Does that make you....angry?
That depends...Do book lady find Hulk studly?
Don't make me horny. You wouldn't like me horny.

 

Book lady go on date with Hulk?
Ewww! NO! Absolutly not!
Um..I mean, I'm sure you're a nice guy, but I'm not allowed to date my customers.
Did book lady know Hulk also a doctor?
Pick me up at eight.

 

I have a date with the Hulk! He has something about him..so...so
What? His big green eyes? His quick wit?
The fact he doesn't know how to use pronouns? Oh, I know...the way he combs his hair with a fork!
The way ....He's standing right behind me, isn't he?
Hulk look quite dashing in bike shorts.

 

Hulk pleased book lady go on date with him.
This is fun!
Hulk happy. Hulk don't have much experience going out on dates.
Really?
Hulk a little green.

 

Hulk hungry. Him have reservations with book lady to eat your food.
Yes sir. And whose name is the reservation under.
Hulk.
And the first name?
Incredible!
Now don't get too confident. This is only our first date.

 

So, what do you like to read?
Currently, Hulk is engaged in thrilling novel about purple choo-choo.
Hulk laugh so hard, pee leak out just a little.
um...oh...I'm reading Partricia Cornwell's "Body Farm."
Oh! That's the one where Scarpetta investigates a serial killer in North Carolina. Make Hulk pee, too.

 

What's wrong? Your expression changed.
Hulk having good time, but him feeling impending dread.
Everytime Hulk make time for self, super villian attack.
Awww.
Or sometimes army. Hulk use to pee in general man's lawn.

 

I'm sure that no super villian is going to ruin our date. That kinda thing only happens in comics.
Book lady very special date. Hulk so happy.
Maybe Hulk get lucky tonight.
Meanwhile:
I'm suppose to meet some people for a knife fight.
Right away, Mr. Luthor! We have a table waiting.

 

We are gathered here to honor the memory of funny man, George Carlin
Hold it! George Carlin did not believe in God. He wouldn't have a ceremony like this!
I know. We are just gatherered to pay tribute...not to comment on his religious beliefs.
Whatever, man. I've gotta take a shit.
"Don't take one of mine!"

 

Hey man, this is your hippy dippy weather man.
It's currently daytime with a chance of night shortly after dusk late this afternoon.
Unless you're dead like me. Then it's periodic bouts of hope mixed with doubt...followed by burst of religious euphoria.
Unless I was right. Then the worms will taste funny tonight!

 

American character actress, Dody Goodman passed away today. She played the secretary in the 'Grease' movies.
?
She will also be remembered as the voice screaming "Mary Hartman! Mary Hartman!" on the popular TV series.
MOM! DAD! What the fuck is 'Mary Hartman' AND 'Grease?'
Feeling old?
Think 'Highschool Musical' and 'Lizzie McGuire!'
MOM! Those shows are so "Three minutes ago!"

 

I have always wondered if celebrities read any of our work on Stripcreator.
So I was pleased to get a message from Late Night's Conan O'Brien complimenting me for my "obituary" comics.
"I was wondering if you would do a tribute to me in comic strip form when I pass on?"
OH BOY! I can't wait for you to die!
Nevermind.

 

My soles are killing me!
The human soul must be fed. Positive energy results in a positive soul.
I work and work at it....yet my soles show every sign of bitterness and corruption.
How bad can it be?
See for yourself. Smell 'em!
Ewww! You're definitly going to burn!

 

Go to jail! Get cornholed up the pooper! Do not collect $200.
But I'm the shoe!
While we're waiting, I'll give you a "Get Tobor outta me free" card for Pedophile Place and Bradwalk.
Not worth it.
Hey look! Randomly Appearing Snowman!
Just visiting!

 

Oh goodie! I rolled a seven. I get to draw a card.
It's an "Arbi Blog!"
Drove 400 miles to participate in science experiment.
Three extra appendages start to appear.
Gain Upper Hand.
Collect three hundred dollars.

 

You better be careful.
I need a seven!
You're approaching "Hatrix's Happy Sweet Shoppe," "The AngryAmerican Smoke Shack," and the "Church of Zast."
Yep...
Athiest's corner.
I hate me.

 

There! Finally finished!
One genuine, handbuilt, talking feminine hygiene squirrel made for a woman when she has that "not so fresh feeling."
But I'm a boy squirrel.
NUTS!

 

Hiya Mrs. Leers. How's your cold?
Okay...I guess. But the medicine I'm taking is causing some irregularity.
Constipated?
No...
I keep sleeping around.

 

I propose to receive the surrender of the Army of N. Va. on the following terms, to wit:
Surrender documents of all the officers and men to be made in duplicate. One copy to be given to an officer designated by me,
The other to be assigned to the head waitress at Hooters.

 

Will you be a dear and take care of my little problem ...personally?
umm..sure. Okay.
I think Mrs. Leers is hitting on me.
Ha! She's just flirty, don't read anything into it.
I've converted all of your special orders to audio format, and requested hard copy back ups for you.
Will it hurt?

 

Mrs. Leers called. She wants you to deliver her special orders that came in today.
-gulp- Mrs. Leers keeps hitting on me.
She's a very important customer.
What if she get's all handsy with me.
Maybe she'll join our Book Club.
Wow. That's some Book Club.

 

-knock-knock- Hello? I have a book delivery for Mrs. Leers.
Just a minute please.
Shwew! A man's voice. Her husband must be here.
Honey. He's here!

 

So how was your date with "the Hulk?"
Hulk wish to apologize for lack of tip and alien dog fight.
um...okay.

 

Did you get Mrs. Leer's package delivered?
Handcuffs or hand puppets?
ummm..
ummm..yea.

 

Hey donkey, let me "ASS" you a question!
Did you steal my gold, leave Opium Molly for dead, and drop the kid off at the pool?
Nayyyyy!
Allllrighty then.

 

Hey, which way to the nearest fresh water aquarium?
Two floors up. Room 322. Science Department.
Okay. And.... ......fuck you!
And that's the TANKS I get!

 

Harry the Hypnotist has broken out of prison...but we have Ol' Testicless on his trail! Let's get 'em Testicless!
Arrrrooooo!
When you hear the key word, all of your suppressed memories about your missing genitailia will flood back to you.
Atta Boy!
Ahh HA!

 

Hey! This is a costume party...you're not dressed.
This is my costume!
?
I'm dressed as a Premature Ejaculation.
I just came in my undies.

 

Wow! I can't believe what I'm reading.
Believe it! If you send me thirtyfive dollars, I will enroll you in a once in a life time offer.
Women will flock to you. Men will respect you. Children will want to be you.
This offer void if you found this ad in the back of a comic book.

 

-ring ring- Hello? This is Bob Newhart.
Oh, is it that time of year again?
...and you need me to scrub with an antibacterial soap right before I come in?
...and wear loose fitting clothes?
Ya know, every year these tax audits get more and more thorough.

 

Hello, honey?
It's me.
Did you want me to turn down the roast, or order a pizza?
...and is this the night that my mother was coming over?
It's Bob.

 

-ring ring- Hello? This is Bob Newhart.
You say someone at Stripcreator.com is stealing my telephone bit?
The one where I set up a one sided phone coversation where the audience is a background character, eavesdropping on my everyday life?
...and then I take a long pause just before I disclose some humorous bit of information that has seemingly nothing to do with the call...but it actually does?
Yes! Of course I'm naked!

 

 

Today, we lost one of the greatest. The king of clowns, Larry Harmon. (Can I get a "Whoa Nelly!")
-snif- WHOA NELLY!
Larry pretty much shaped Bozo the Clown. He was a legend known across the world! (Can I get a "Whoa Nelly!")
-snif- WHOA NELLY!
Please stay tuned for the special televised funeral service of the clown king...right after this kook-kook kooky cartoon!
WHOA NELLY!

 

So, you're telling me that you have a sheep in that box?
Yes, Mr. Prince.
My name is no longer Prince. It's -THHHHBBBBT!-
THHHHHBBBBT?
Right....only with less saliva.
Sorry about that Raspberry Spit-Spray.

 

My parents took us to many movies when we were growing up. Some of the movies were not made for younger audience...not that I cared at the time.
In 1975 I was nine years old. I saw Jaws and it freaked me out!
Eventually, I reasoned that sharks couldn't survive in the Mississippi River, and that was the ONLY way one could come get me.
...But I was convinced that a shark would attack me from under my bed.
My nine year old imagination couldn't grasp the whole under the bed/aquatic life incapabilities. No, I had to over "scienticify" the whole thing.
Aren't you tired yet?

 

At nine years old, I would babysit on Saturday nights, so our folks could go out.
Welcome to Pywaket Theater. Tonights feature is: NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD!
It was the ORIGINAL Night of the Dead...You know, the black and white movie with the dead in a cemetary house. Little girl eats her folks. Arms through the slat boards. The first!
The commercial is over!
Me and my sister could do it! We were going to watch it all the way through! We used the baby as a shield.
"Did you hear that?" "No. You're imagining it" "I'll go check." "Okay."

 

But the seventies also had "Bigfoot." And Bigfoot couldn't be explained away by a nine year old's logic.
Wow! Bigfoot is on the news. It HAS to be real!
...reports are in that a large hairy creature crashed a popular camping site today.
Bigfoot was a land based creature. Near the woods. They have "pictures." The facts could not be ignored.
But I live in Iowa...and this report is from the west coast.
"His stride is reported to be six feet long. He could be anywhere by now!"
I was torn. I was intrigued. I just wouldn't sleep on the first floor from now on.
Man, that Bigfoot crap is freakin' me out.
Tell me about it.

 

During the Bigfoot phenomenon, The local theater was running "Legend of Boggy Creek."
Wow..."in documentary fashion."
"Boggy Creek" will answer all my questions.
I called my dad at work and reasoned with him why he should take me to see this educational film.
But you'll have nightmares.
Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please.
Eventually, I persuaded him that I could handle anything this movie would reveal to me. But he did not subcribe to all my theories....so despite all my planning, I was not spared from the nightmares.
Now remember, son... this is only a movie.
I have a solution, Dad. During the scarey parts, you are gonna take me to get candy.

Showing page 27.

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