All comics by Culturejamming

 

Clint the autobiographic novel part 1 of many by Culturejamming 3-26-08
After working dead end jobs for years Clint hits the dead end of dead ends Here at Grizlebees every time we greet a table we mention 2 beverages and the featured appetizer What's the featured ap right now?	This month it's ONION RINGS! You're fucking kidding, right?	Monday 10:45 am Welcome to grizlebees our ap is *mumble mumble mumble* I hate my life mumble*

 

Why I hated my life enough to join the army by Culturejamming 3-26-08
I'm sorry, what was that my son? Would you like to start with onion rings?	After working dead end jobs for years Clint hits the dead end of dead ends No thakn you. I think it might be a bit early for onion rings. I have to sugest that. It's company policy.	After working dead end jobs for years Clint hits the dead end of dead ends That's fine, go on. Our drink specials are martini and apple martini...

 

Why I hated my life enough to join the army by Culturejamming 3-26-08
Next table 11:20 am To start we have onion rings, iced tea, and pepsi	whoo doggy this is a fancy eatin' joint! being mocked by dorks in $80 suits, what's next?	Is that tea you made with real tea plants from China? I'm soooo getting plastered tonight

 

Just go for it by Culturejamming 3-26-08
Did you make good money tonight? I made a buck twenty	Want to go to the bar after work? It's either a beer bottle or a gun barrel.	what is? I need to put one or the other in my mouth after tonight.

 

I gets drunkz by Culturejamming 3-26-08
I feel like I'm wasting my potential at Grizzlebees Get another job. Go work in the beltway.	Don't get me wrong I like working 35 hours and having my time as my own. People are all slaves to the clock. Most of them chain it to their wrist. I think you think too much.	Socrates said, the unexamined life is not wroth living I think you prove that the contripositive is not automaticly true

 

Dares have never worked out for me by Culturejamming 3-26-08
We should kill people. Yeeah, but who?	I don' no You cood join teh mareens and kill terror guys	YEZ! IMMA GONNA BE MARINEZ You won't do it, pussy!

 

The Marine recruiter usually follow all leads by Culturejamming 3-26-08
Clint is on the phone DRUNK You have reached teh Annapolis Marine recruitment center	Clint leaves a message with the recruiter My name is Clint and I hate my job and I want to kill people and I....	A message so convoluted there was no return call I like to sleep outside so I'd be good at those marine camping trips but I don't like beef jerky so I'd just eat something esle...

 

Rich Old American White Guys pt.1 by Culturejamming 4-13-08
I think we should take a lesson from the Imperial army from Star Wars How do you mean?	All our hardware has nonsense names like 9-UA49 and a nickname like Hummingbird or Tomcat I'm with you so far	Vadder's lot didn't screw around. They named their superweapon the death star and blew up Alderon just to prove how bad it was You're right. The US would probably name it the USS Ronald Regan and insist it is merely and armed science platform.

 

Rich Old American White Guys pt.2 by Culturejamming 4-13-08
We should name weapons SCARY STUFF like hell bringer or death monger Meh, they'd probably just name it stuff that is scary to old white guys	I can see that. I wouldn't want to be the pilot of a colon probe And it would fire LDL missiles	Or impotance rockets You can stop now

 

Think About It by Culturejamming 4-13-08
Someone once told me that all holidays were invented by the greeting card companies. I don't believe it.	That makes sense for valintine's day but when was the last time you got anyone a thanksgiving day card, or a new years eve card?	In fact now that I think about it, I'm sure that all of the holidays were invented by women Because if holidays were invented by men, none of them would be more complicated than excuses to drink beer.

 

I only get one ghost. Fuck Scrooge by Culturejamming 7-17-08
I don't believe in you what is going on? I am very real, Clinton. I am the spirit of giving that lives on through the memory of a very real person	So you are saying that the spirit of christmas is still alive? Yes just likeanother man who lived along time ago whose spirit was marked by charity. That's why we are linked in this time of Yule	I like halloween better. Christmas doesn't have enough sexy outfits Knock it in a little deeper and maybe I can go home

 

SMART PHONES, DUMB CONVERSATION by Culturejamming 7-07-11
Conversation before smartphones I can't order a cobb salad without thinking of the great Ty Cobb, What was Ty short for anyway, Tiberious? I DO DECLARE THIS IS THE FINEST TYBERIOUS COBB SALAD EVER!	Conversation after smartphones I can't order a cobb salad without thinking of the great Ty Cobb, What was Ty short for anyway, Tiberious? according to my phone the Cob salad had nothing to do with Ty Cobb, whose name was Tyrus	oh ... so unlimited breadsticks, huh?

 

Athiests Across the year ... by Culturejamming 12-25-11
Atheist on July 4 "In god we trust?" what the hell does that mean? I don't trust god this is bullshit	Atheist on Thanksgiving I can't believe the president lead a prayer today this is bullshit. Why does our presisdent have to pander to an invisible sky man?	Atheist on Christmas What do you mean I have to work a half day today? IT'S CHRISTMAS!

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