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Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure by Digger 8-30-03
Hey Ted, Bogus! Hey Bill, Whoa!	Dued, we r use taht phone booht 2 kidnap history for cheat paper n save teh babes

 

One Ring To Rule Them All by Digger 8-31-03
Gandalf presents the ring to Frodo... FUKNSHIT Fordo Bagins! U = need 2 bring tihs bitch 2 Sauron uh no, u mean bring 2 Mt. doom, n y teh fukc u look liek santa 4?	tahts what i SAID, bring ti 2 Mountain Dewm. and my robe si in teh luandry wiht my undies 'n sox, Tihs is backup, so wat, fuku i'm senstive abuot it. well wtf i do wehn i get tehre?	well "mr. i no liek u outfit cuz i'm anti-Xmas"...............you can = Swan dive

 

I fought the law and the law won by Digger 9-01-03
Radio: We have a code 704, suspect is driving a 4 door... k shutup! i pulld him ovur alreddy! FFS...	well, i pulled u over becau...actaully it looks liek u pulld me over, lololololo o ware teh hell u going?	tahts it, u get a ticket 4 i cant see u any more

 

No no, we're laughing WITH you. by Digger 9-02-03
Hey u childs! over tehre! No Smokign on teh premises. U might set off teh fire alarm in teh sky n the clouds will go off. lolololol	plz Kids! donut run from me. I m kewl, I m in wiht teh times. Come talk 2 me abuot the music u all liek. u know.....Bryan Adams 'n Prince.	omg u guyz! u spraypainted my naem wrong on my car, Robert isnot spelt f-a-g-t-a-r-d. good tihng u still in skewl 2 learn more

 

The Zombie Times: "Half moon rising? More on pg.2" by Digger 9-03-03
MRAH! i need brians 2 eated! ono, who i gonna call, teh ghotsbutsers	Nevermind tohse fukrs, teh teenage detcives r on teh CASE! us combined = birlliant childs! ofux. we ned 2 go lurn sckewl 'nd paly chicken on teh monkybars first. who we gonan call? SANTA	hihg kick, low kick, HI Puchn, low kick agian = Fatlality! NOO MRAH! C U on teh next FUL moon!!! owait, ist a half moon. hmm, i wonder wehn taht changed.

 

Whales have feelings too by Digger 9-04-03
*squeal*...*or wahtever teh hell wahle sounds r* YARR! Tehre SHE BE, TEH BIG FUKN WHITE WAIL	wait....Wahtfuck U SAY? yu just call me a SHE? Cannot u C my big whale-ish DONG? i m liek 199ft. long spermwale.....m i taht small in teh pants? i wunder	u r reason i cry at nite Yarr! =(

 

It's the end of the world as we know it (and I feel screwed) by Digger 9-06-03
Earth is being over-run by EVIL! These men are our only hope. What will they do?! i m give tehm all crappy persents liek a penis keychain. n tehn tehy will be all liek "naw dawg, tihs sux, i wanted a toy train, so i be good next yaer!" 4 Reel! I will use my morphitate ablility 2 morphinate into a shark-moose and run at tehm	HAMBURGERS AND HOTDOGS! i will eat tehy shoelaces and tehn run under teh fridge real fast, lololol	i will give tehm tixet 4 be too mean We are so boned.

 

Children are only worth pennies by Digger 9-07-03
ohi american consumer ppl watching teh TV n eatign ur popcron, im Sally Stuthrs, u must hlep tehse childs! tehy live in teh planets = anus *cough*.......*Died*	U C!, tehse fukrs r droppin liek flies! I know u sayin "wtf fatbeast, u maek no sense. Flies liek poop n tehy live on shithole of planet, tehy shuld liek it"	ALL i can say si...nope kthxbye. But ur miss teh point. Sedn US 4 cents in teh mail or sum cardboard. Tehy think ist Gramm Crackers, LEWLZ.

 

Prime example of how to successfully play Hide & Go Seek by Digger 9-08-03
OHI little sitser of mine. lest paly HIDE AND SEEKING sure big sister, y r we looking over tehre instaed of at each other? NE WAY U = IT	I M GO HIDE INTO TEH INTERWEB!	COM OUT COME OUT WHEREVER U R BEING AT Welcome TO teh AOL. U have 9 emails n u sux at tihs game.

 

Digger looks back on "The Goonies" by Digger 9-09-03
HEYYY YOU GUYZZZZ! ...BEBE.....BEBE RUTH! wtf sloth, shutup u BonePole. tihs is sux n i did teh truffle shuffle. U ALL SAW MY insecurities wiggle. =(	can we liek hurry up, i gotta go star in hit movies liek MEATBALLS 4, i m tihnkin it will win me an emmy 4 bets pictur DATA NO LIEK TIHS AT ALL.!!!! DATA PEED TEH PANTS, in 3rd person dawg!!	look dewds! ist Chester Copperpot, teh most famous pirate u never hurd of! Yarr! i'm already dead. Plz dont steal me gold. I had 2 kill 900 pygmies 4 it, but no, ur gonna ne way. u "earned" it. F this! plz stare at my ship when i leave. i giving u = finger

 

You can get a PHD in Doctorology! by Digger 9-10-03
First day of skewl = rox i donut believe we r goign 2 skewl again, we Lready did lats year! yah dawg, but tihs year we r in teh ELVENTH GRADE.	WELCOM 2 Shcool!....I am Mrs. Tatosack n u fukrs be lernin SEXAUL EDUCATION. Basically Storks have SEX wiht each ohter = make u.	STay in skool kids. Becoz u can gro up 2 be cool jobs liek a doctor or a panda school givs u teh PROPER trainign 2 become hihgly successful @ Burger King

 

You're about as Goth as Charlie Brown. by Digger 9-11-03
Dear Journal, Enter: Pain Heya Davey! Want to go play some catch? No Dad, and the name isn't Davey, it's Draco Eternia. How can I throw a baseball around when this world is PAIN?!	Dear Journal, Exit: Existance Alright Squirt! Let me know if you want to play some Legos later. No Dad, I have to write songs about the unhappiness that fills my life. The sorrow of my empty soul, tearing itself into oblivion!	Oh SWEET! Mom made triple Banana Fluff Cream Pancakes!

 

A Tale of Two Santas by Digger 9-12-03
MARY CHIRSTMAS! MERRY M-Fing XMAS!	How teh ehll did tihs happn? eh...i not gona ask. Now we kan deliver teh presnts in HALF teh TIME. we cna maek it home in tiem 2 watch SUPERMARKET SWEEP osnaps! Lest give tehse fukrs sum candy!	wat teh hell, tehys no MILK N COOKES, all tehy left us wure a big turkey on teh TABLE! damn kids n thier VH1 n jigsaw puzzles u r 1 monht EARLY so u get tixet 4 my donut tatse bad tihs morning

 

HEY! Down in front....DOWN IN FRONT! Honey, get my M&M's. by Digger 9-13-03
WOO! I tihnk tihs si teh part ware Ben Aflek n J LO suck in teh movie...	culd u plz not talk during teh movei. U R ruining teh best piece of Cinematograhpy EVUR, k bye	Intermission, Dawg Let's all go to the Lobby, Let's all go to Lobby, Let's all go to the LOBBY...2 smoke me n get nose cancer

 

It helps grow strong bones......Got Suspension? by Digger 9-15-03
TEHY r in a fite cuz girl on rite sied interupted HOPSCOTCH u r a CHICKEN no srry, i m no chicken UR A TURKEY. donut do drugs kids	MOM! I M hoem from teh FIRST GRADE. I got fired from sckool .. :( What u did now?! now i have 2 go 2 PTA Meeting wiht u taecher. Plz go tape matlock 4 me, he si solving TEH CASE!	talkin 2 teh taecher. be in suspense liek in drama series: DHARMA 'N GREG ohi, u fired my doughter form sckool. y u did taht? dued, i was paly game. n she was all liek "can i have u milk"...I m got dirstracted n fell n got PAINED IN TEH FACE...Doctor sayd i m ugly 4 life

 

Chestnuts Roasting Over an Open Fire by Digger 9-16-03
FUKNSHIT! son, I wuz nailing up u stocking N I HURD FOOSTEPS ON TEH ROOF! WTmotherF! clam down. dad ti si juts SANTA CLUAS	naw dawg, Tihs fat fireman was tyring 2 come in uor CHINMEY! ware si my SHTOGUN! HIT TEH DECK	MERRY FUCKIN CHRISMAS!

 

B-I-N-G-O and Tobor was his name-o by Digger 9-20-03
ohi ppl, I SI BACK! U miss me? wtf digger, no, u wure only gone liek a cople days.	onuts, WELL i was STUCK in teh interweb, i gto lost in prono sites, vidoe games, n EVEN ppl 2 ppl CHATTING SERVICEs tahts a really Boring STROY so im gunna go eat my EZBAKE oven	wait, i didtn tell U abuot my adventure 2 Goatse.com NOW UR TAWKIN!

 

CC 211: Have you had your nuts today? by Digger 9-20-03
DUED!! u gotta HIED ME wtf 4	i 8 teh mayor's nuts! omfg not agian! I hear teh GUARDS! put on tihs suit, its BULLETPROOF, i mean it will 100% work, not liek...cant get shot bulletproof, lewls.	if u looking 4 squirrel who ate those DELICIOUS nuts of teh mayr's.....He died n si in hell 4 teh evil sin of eating NUTS. as long as he lernt his lesson, m8

 

The Ultimate Game of Strategy by Digger 9-22-03
on teh 34rd night in teh 90st month...MORTLA KOBMAT begins, yall TIEM 2 FITE, lest get reddy 2 rumble dawg. i go 1rst u sir, have NO CHANCE	tehy both can use SUPR POWERS, btw *SUPER MEGA KICK* *SUPER MEGA GET kicked in the FACE*	*SUPER MEGA PUNCH IN TEH NUTS* *SUPER MEGA MORPHINATE n kill u when u r old age*

 

Computers ruin your life by Digger 9-24-03
Oh my god, Timmy? Timmy from High School? A/S/L ???	It's me, Kimmy "eatbeast" Martinez! So yeah, I lost a lot of weight and now I'm a model. LOL	Uhh, did you just say "LOL"? ...Anyway, Want to get together for some Dinner later? O K Q-T, pick me up around 7:00 @ aol.com

 

CC212: Tard Boy and The Temple of Doom by Digger 9-24-03
I knew him. Me too.	Did you know him? No.	Me either. Let's go have a taco.

 

The best way to die by Digger 9-26-03
im sry DONATELLO, but u DINT MAKE IT, u were hit by a Short Bus. OH MY EFFin GOD, killed by teh retarded! well, i had a good run, lest go tehn	Teh body still remains, yall! one o teh short bus kids INVETSIGATES *cough* last words....COWABUNG *died* TACHER! Cum quick, OUR BUS ATED A DUDE! bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon	*bleeding* TECHER! now he si making KOOL AID! get my backapck! i want 2 share it @ show n tELL. sausage sausage bacon bacon sausage

 

The Grim Reaper......UNMASKED! by Digger 9-27-03
man o man, tuff day @ work, i had 2 deliver teh OLSNE TWINS 2 satan whoa dawg, y tehy go 2 hell?	uhh....duh....tehy wure in FULL HOUSE, plus tehy screwed Urkel 4 crank o i c, lest get out of tehse stupid ROBES n relax on clouds taht look like u mom's cellulite boobs, LEWLZ	o shutup, my mom si hot.....i mean.....she not ugly. WTF! Santa?! o fuku, i need teh extra 6.50/hour to suport my Cow of a wife and tehse little midget fukrs! plus NOBODY gives santa presetns, he buys his fukn gamecube WIHT HIS OWN MONEY!

 

I know you are, but what am I? by Digger 9-29-03
DUCK SEASNO! WABBTI SEASON!	omfg dued, look at teh sign! ti clearly STATES a fukn duck must be shot, kthxbye. Duck Season, btw. holy fukpotatos, r u taht blind? I C a big sign wiht a big COTTONTAIL FUKR pinchin off raisins on teh FLOOR! Wabbit SEASON x2	Ba-deep Ba-deep Ba-deep, TAHTS ALL FOKES, cept tihs last part.....pretend i did ti aftur taht. owait, si taht elmer? I SI TEH LAW, NOT A GLUE! btw u get ticket 4 i didnt fidn all my eggs on easter egg hunt

 

Words to live by... by Digger 9-29-03
if LIEF givs u lemons....	...juts squeez em REEL HARD....	...tehn a genie pops uot and gives u codes 4 NINTENDO! GKVZAE - Dr. Mario sux peen 4 'special' pills. EUGKVA - The Viruses don't dance, they now seizure into a little ball.

 

What you'd rather watch on Christmas Day by Digger 9-30-03
Way 2 GO, EBINEZER HOMOGRUMP! u ruined x-mas	tehn a thign happend, i forgot what THO!	nm, i fixed it. GOD BLESS US Every2

 

Way to rape each other's personal bubble. by Digger 9-30-03
Please help us by donating anything you can to the.....	......."Seek A Cure" program....	....All of the Forum Users suffer from a rare disease called "Leaning Forward for No Reason-ism"

 

Working his way to the top! by Digger 10-05-03
ohi ppl, welcome 2 CHANNEL 3 NEWS CHANNEL! we got a thign goin' on, right bob? tahts right Sharon, we got a dude waitin uotside who is abuot 2 intervew MR. MONEYBAGS	so what u up 2 tehse dayz, m8? u hangin uot on teh BOARDWALK?, LOLOL PLAAAAAY MONOPOLY!	sorry guyz, i m gotta GO moev a thimble on a BOARDgaem 2 maek fake monies. BAKC 2 U FUKRS! omfg! sum1 juts landed on luxury tax n pewped on teh board. I M SO NOT LETTIGN HIM PASS GO + collect 200 monies

 

Good Morning, Nebraska! by Digger 10-08-03
Ure watchign "Get UP, Sanfrancsico!" WTF si up NEW YORK?! Yah, how r u on tihs FIEN MORNING? We got sum NEWS 3 U 2 see, Our top story....a man jumped uot of a fat woman's vag --	EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL MUMBO JUMBO TOOTY FROOTS....	srry, i acidentally incredible hulked. =( Late braking NEWS, my co-host did a stupid and ruined TV

 

Gandalf, This is your life! by Digger 10-08-03
a super MONGO BEWBED fairy did a weird thign Baby SPAEK...ooga gaga n such *SUPER MEGA MORF U INTO A WIZNERD!*	Gandalf's teen years were rough, he had acne REAL BAD plz date me =(	U CANNOT PASS my plunger! RAHH!! SCARED BE U! plz?

 

Revenge of the NERDS, part Eleventeen! by Digger 10-10-03
plz go swimign wiht me?	omfg NO WEIGH! i no swimmign wiht teh NERDS! i only take tubs wiht JOCKS	pwnd

 

Mission Impossible by Digger 10-10-03
LISEN CAREFULY, ONLY CUT TEH BLU WHIRE! k	WORLD ENDS	k, nwo cut teh red wire k

 

House Music needs more Tuba by Digger 10-12-03
		u get ticket 4 doin teh worm at a RAVE COCNERT n 4 i swallowd my glowstick =(

 

Doin' the voodoo, that you do so well. by Digger 10-13-03
I SAWD TEH WITCH DOCTRO, HE TOLD ME WAT 2 DO, HE SED: OOH EEE	OOH AH AH	TING TANG WALLA u got cancer =(

 

Scary things that go BUMP in the night. by Digger 10-18-03
no....NO! yes...NO!....DONUT EAT TAHT TWINKIE MR DINOSUAR AHHHH!	OMFG!!1, r u o k? SETTLE DWON tho, here...eat sum coffee i had teh worts DRAEM EVUR! let me SHOW U how ti wetn...	TEH DRAEM SEQUENCE omfg so tehn i wuz all liek, CATS RULE DOGS DROOL, LOLOLOLOL OLOLOLOLOL LOLOLOL OLOLOLOLOL

 

Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King: Super Long Title: by Digger 10-18-03
we r back from super mega fite @ Mountain Dewm i m back		okewl okewl

 

Hillary Duff ruined our lives by Digger 10-18-03
You're so yesterday. wtf, I THUOGHT I WAS TODAY?!!	TEH 12 YAER OLD hoar created A PARADOX!!! ONO	WORLD EDNS, except for Bill Cosby. THX hiolary DUFF, u r 1 retarded mini-pron star. NWO I CANT WATCH SANFORD & SON

 

OMFG!!1 by Digger 10-20-03
So I was walking through the mall one day and this little 5 year old asshat says to his father.... srry son, but tihs PS2 is super mega EXPENSVIE, how buot an N64!!! no way dad, teh graffix SUK on n54	THAT IS COMPLTETE BULLSHTI! my favorite game growing up was called "Barnstorm" for Atari	the object of the game was to fly a biplane OVER THE MILL....and through the barn......OVER THE MILL.....and through the barn...etc... you super useless ungrateful little pokemon! FUKU, i hope ur parents travel back in tiem n get AIDS B4 they have u

 

Don't let life get you down. by Digger 10-21-03
i m 2 paly BASKETBLLA liek a real BOY!	omgf, i misst TEH SLAM DUNK n super landed on my FACE	i catn feel my LEGS. :(

 

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus! by Digger 10-21-03
u wure a naughty GURL tihs year. U get mega sex in teh face tihs year 4 present! take me, plz		omg, Bonar

 

This mission has gone awry by Digger 10-23-03
MY SYTSEM ANALSYS sez ti si O - K to breathe tihs air....i m taeking off my helmut B Careful, m8	ono! TEH AIR SI BAD! OMFG he died today	no, ist fine, i just slippd on a paenut :) me 2

 

Old jokes can still be not funny. by Digger 10-23-03
wtf good monring CLASS! first tihng 2 lern 2day si....WHO CAN TEL ME WAT DICTATE MEANS? Yes, Buckwheat?	i know, DARLA comed over 2 my huose for 1 hour n stood up n said my dictate good.	LOLOLOLO LOLOLOLOLOLOL o tay LOLOLOLOLOLOL dumb

 

Sometimes the Slogan sells the food by Digger 10-24-03
ohi, welcom 2 BURGER LAND, "home of teh food taht we got" wat u want 2 eat? omfg omfg omfg omfg, do u no WHO U R? U R LENARDO DICRAPIO!!!!	dued, i know. nwo wat do u want 2 eat? D-I-C-R-A-P-O-I, u were on F-in GORWING PAINS! rofl rofl remember boner?	ur special sauce si so gonna B my dream about woman nipples LEWK MOM, si taht guy who knows BONAR!

 

Dolphins are humongous pricks by Digger 10-24-03
ti si a TASTEY TREAT!	omg omg i m so ded	PSYCHE! lolololol now gimme u lunch money :(

 

Maybe we can do something about that by Digger 10-24-03
CONGARTULATONS! IST A GIRL!	:( :(	fine....IST A BOY! :)

 

Avril Lavigne wears socks on her arms. HARDCORE MO-FU by Digger 10-27-03
did u haer, DID U HEARE? wahtfuck u talkin abuot?	APRIL LAVINE sed her music si SKATER MUSIC r u 4 reel? TI HAS 2 B TRUE	omfg i juts did a 360 in mid AIR, plz top that! hold on dawg, I gota finihs singing tihs hardcore SKATE SONG....."HE WUZ A SK7r boi, SHE SEZ C U L7ter boi".....omfg HERE I GO now i can DO A VERT RAMP!

 

Everyone on the Internet is ugly. by Digger 10-27-03
HEY Q - T, i wunt 2 cybersex wiht u in AN EMAIL! plz send me u pictor	omfg I M SO HOT, U DONUT EVEN NO. plz unzip u shirt wile I SHO U MY sexface	Uploading Pic........

 

Don't ever ask Jesus for candy on Halloween. by Digger 10-27-03
MARY CHRISMAS! TRIKC OR TREAT plz	who r u supposd 2 be little girls, teh fag twins, LOLOLOL jk. candy si in my diaper...next 2 teh bonar.

 

Joketime with Uncle Pappy 'n Friends by Digger 10-27-03
What did the 1 armed blind deaf kid get for Christmas? i don't know, what?	Cancer.	LOLOLOLOLOL LOLOLOLOLOL :(

 

Grand Theft Bakery by Digger 10-28-03
WHO stole teh cookie from teh cooky jar? a mega fag stole teh cookie frum teh cookie jar	WHO ME? yes u!	couldnt B! u get be in jail for steal teh cracker

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