All comics by Hanbidge

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by Hanbidge
12-30-02
...twas the night before Christmas...
...here we go...
...awwww yeeeeah!
...it's gonna take more than cookies if you want that car! Are you nice? Or naaaaaughty!
Dad! I know it's you! Mum told me all about your little games!

 

by Hanbidge
12-30-02
Kirsten Dunst has been cloned...
If I fuck you...
...is that masturbation?
Hey! I didn't create you to think!

 

by Hanbidge
12-30-02
You know, what with it being Christmas, and my current joint-induced state, I'm inclined to sing a festive song...
Oh aye?
What song would that be?
o/` I'm walking in the air... o/`
I fucking hate you.

 

by Hanbidge
12-30-02
Axl W. Rose races a dilemma...
I need to find a band member who won't piss me off, so he can stay in the band...
Of course! That's it!
Why didn't I think of this before! I'll clone myself!
What could go wrong?
Get the fuck outta my band!

 

by Hanbidge
12-30-02
I've been playing Bloody Roar 3, and it inspired me to experiment on myself! Now prepare to pay for your little "milk" joke!
Oh aye? Gonna turn into a beast, are yer?
Damn right!
...shit, this never happened to Stun...
I bet he never got crushed by a rolled up copy of the Daily Star, either...

 

by Hanbidge
12-30-02
...kids would go to school in mecha...
Mom, I'm going to school!
...demons would be a common sight...
What up?
Not much. You know.
...and sex would be a whole lot more fuuun!
Can I turn around now? What's my surprise?

 

by Hanbidge
12-30-02
Hey you! Hand in your homework!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THE BOSS OF ME!
Because I'm your teacher. It's my job. And besides, your work is right there in front of you, on your desk. It looks good.
...oh yeah... Ah screw it! I'm gonna kill you anyway!
Heh, I wonder if I could use this power to look up girl's skirts on the train...

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
...it was a war that had gone on for years...
AAAAAAAARGH!
...millions had died...
Stop looking at me. I have nothing to do with this strip.
...what could have caused it?
The Akira MANGA is better!
No way bitch. It's AAAAAll about the movie...

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
...when two teenagers get drunk, only one thing can happen...
I bet you can't set your farts on fire!
I'll make you believe!
...but when those two teenagers are Gundam pilots, god help us all...
I bet you couldn't ignite Jupiter...
BRING IT ON!

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
...dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum......
.........
FLASH! AHAAAAA!

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
The date was going well until...
...then the Irishman says "Potatoes"!
Ha ha ha, I haven't heard that one...
...dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum...
FLASH! AHAAAAAAA!
.........

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
Technology means celebrities can live forever in robot bodies...
AHEEHEE!

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
Bill, my teeth fell out!
No way!
Yes...
...crap, what's the next line?

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
DOZY BITCH! I FUCKING HATE YOU TOO!
.........
Zidane, Garnet can't express her love because she's lost her voice. Don't get mad at her...
...yeah, I know...
AND YOU KNOW WHAT? EIKO WAS WAY BETTER THAN YOU!
.........

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
Zidane, Garnet has gotten herself into some sort of danger again!
...for fuck's sake...
You better go and save her!
...fine, maybe she'll put out afterwards...
...third time's lucky, as they say...

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
God I hate Squall, he got all the fine honeys. What do I get? A whiny fucking SD princess!
... erm, Zidane?
(sniff sniff)
...aw bollocks...
You'll still let me fuck you, right?

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
Squall Leonhart shows up!
Hey Zidane, you don't have much luck with Garnet, so I thought I'd help you out.
I have a lot of experience with women. I could have scored all the time in Final Fantasy VIII...
...you know, if I could be arsed...
...why must you mock me? Isn't it bad enough that VIII was way better than IX...

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
Irvine also decides to help Zidane get some with Garnet.
hey Zidane, I came to help you score with Garnet!
You too?
I left a porno mag over there.
Why?
For when you screw everything up, you stupid motherfucker.

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
Zell also wants to help Zidane get some pussy.
Hey Zidane, I'll tell you what you need...
What?
Hotdogs!
How the hell will those help me nail Garnet?
They won't. They're for jamming up your ass, because you're never going to lay Garnet...

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
Steiner and Zidane have a little chat
You know what Zidane, you really suck. Even Tidus scored, and he's not real!
...dude, you're intimate with a fucking Orko look-a-like...
Shut up!
...dude, it had to be said...
LEAVE ME ALONE!
Better watch your weight, tubby, he might meet a Snarf!

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
Malthorn the Bard is on a dungeon bash, when he sees a familiar face
Hey Baldurion. Are you looking for treasure and slaying monsters too?
Fuck no.
Then what are you doing here?
Squatting.
.........
Don't tell anyone.

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
So, describe your ideal woman.
Cat-Girl.
...yeah, it's all about Cat-Girls for me...
.........
I think it's the ears...
(sob)

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
...ow...

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
They started as opponants...
Star Wars is best.
No, Star Trek, you nerd!
...but when faced by a common foe, they know what they must do...
No way! Babylon 5 rocks the hardest...
UNITED BY FATE!
FU-SION-HA!
FU-SION-HA!

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
...last time our heroes decided to join forces...
FU-SION-HA!
FU-SION-HA!
...Babylon 5 has better special effects...
BEHOLD THE FUSION OF TREKKIE AND VIRGIN!
You're done? Damn...

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
So what happens now?
...well, I WAS going to point out that you're a sad fat virgin, but that's too easy. I'll kick your ass instead.
But look at the shape I'm in. How is that easy?
Dude, you're like 6 stone heavier than me...

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
ENOUGH TALK! NOW WE FIGHT!
HYAAAAAAAARGH!
NYUUUUUURGH! (cough pant wheeze)

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
...shit. I can't do fuck all except put my hands in my pockets! I look like I'm playing with myself!
...you mean you aren't?
...well, no, but that's not the point and you know it!

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
I guess there's only one thing for me to do now...
What's that?
Eat this cake, while you starve to death...
Fat cunt.
...we'll see who has the last laugh...

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
Well, I guess I'll die how I lived...
Wanking?
Damn right. Why break the habit of a lifetime?
Hey, I'm a compulsive eater AND a Babylon 5 nerd. Don't ask me.

 

by Hanbidge
1-01-03
He starved to death. This makes me the victor!
God, I'm fucking lonely...

 

by Hanbidge
1-02-03
Bruce Wayne has retired, and has taken on Terry McGuiness as the new Batman......
Terry! Get your ass out here!
What?
There's been a bank robbery. You need to take the Bat-Mobile and...
...fuck that. I'm up to Gold Saucer, and I wanna see if I can get Cloud to go on a date with Yuffie
I don't know what the hell you're talking about, but suit up!
YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME! I HATE YOU AND I WISH YOU WERE DEAD!

 

by Hanbidge
1-02-03
I think I'll slay you now, you know, for kicks.
You'll never beat me Baldurion! I'm invincible!
...right, fuck that then...

 

by Hanbidge
1-02-03
What do you guys think of my last strip?
I wanna hear what Knoxy has to say first...
Its a bit shit then unless Baldurion has a hidden meaning that illudes me.

 

by Hanbidge
1-02-03
Hey, I came to save you from your imprisonment on this ship!
Shit! A robot! I'm scared!
Woah, it's okay. This is just a suit. Here, I'll take it off...
...okay...
Is this better?
EEEEEEEK!

 

by Hanbidge
1-02-03
I'm going to cook some dinner. What would you like?
I'm not telling you.
...oh, okay. Just so I know, is there anything you're allergic to?
That's my business, thank you.
...later...
Oh my god! You've gotten all swollen up, and red! Are you okay?
That information is given out on a need to know basis...

 

by Hanbidge
1-02-03
Ha! That comic was so original and funny...
.........
What's up?
SIMPSONS DID IT!
SOUTH PARK DID IT!

 

by Hanbidge
1-02-03
Zidane is pissed off...
...I'll never get to nail Garnet...
...while Embry is just pissed...
...I'll never get to screw kay till her ears bleed...
A TEAM-UP OF PATHETIC PROPORTIONS (and penises) IS INEVITABLE...
How the fuck am I going to get some pussy?
How the fuck am I going to get some pussy?

 

by Hanbidge
1-02-03
Zidane and Embry have teamed up to get some...
Zidane, we gotta get us some pussy. But how are we gonna convince Garnet and Kay to screw us?
That's easy Embry! We date-rape them!
Good idea.
I'll go get the drinks...
NOOOOOOOOO!

 

by Hanbidge
1-02-03
Hey, Land-Lord, can I have two JD and Cokes?
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
...I'm sorry, what I meant to say is...
HA HA HA HA YOU STUPID CUNT!

 

by Hanbidge
1-02-03
Well done, Embry, you got us barred!
Don't worry, I have a plan! Follow me...
Here we are Zidane, Kay's house...
How do you know where she lives?
...quiet Zidane, I'm trying to find the right key...
Where'd you get that?

 

by Hanbidge
1-02-03
Here we are, Kay's bedroom!
You know your way around her house well, don't you. What's the plan now?
Hide under the rug.
Sure thing!
...heh heh heh, rug, heh heh heh...
...heh heh, yeah...

 

by Hanbidge
1-02-03
This is gonna rock!
So what's the plan now?
Well, when Garnet and Kay come back for hot lesbian sex, we step out, and whip out our tackle! How could they resist pimping mother fuckers like us...
...wow...
...how long have you been planning this?

 

by Hanbidge
1-02-03
You know what?
What?
I don't think they're lesbians...

 

by Hanbidge
1-02-03
This isn't working...
...I know...
...time for Plan C!
...Plan C?
Plan Casi!

 

by Hanbidge
1-02-03
...Embry and Zidane follow their prey to Casi...
o/` I wanna fuck you like an animal! I wanna feel you from the inside! o/`
...so Kay, did my singing impress you enough for you to let me cum in your knickers?
...oh yeah!
I love Limp Bizkit!

 

by Hanbidge
1-02-03
...seeing as Embry is gonna get some, Zidane goes for a try...
Hey garnet, if you let me bone you this one time, I'll never bother you again...
Sure.
BITCHING!
...it'll get him off my back, I guess. I'll just pretend he's Squall...

 

by Hanbidge
1-02-03
Kay has told Embry to wait for her in a hotel room...
o/` I'd like to violate you! o/`
o/` I'd like to desecrate you! o/`
o/` I'd like to penetrate you! o/`
...Embry?

 

by Hanbidge
1-02-03
...it seems we've been had...
Aye. Outsmarted by the chicks.
All dressed up and nowhere to go. You up for a shag?
Fuck no.
You cunt.

 

by Hanbidge
1-02-03
Embry fucked a child.
Sho' did!
I was date-raped! Honest!
Zidane joined Kingdom Hearts, to try and nail other Final Fantasy chicks.
Come on, Zidane, we have to save King Micky!
(sigh) when do we get to meet Aeris?
Garnet lived happily ever after. But not Kay.
Hey Garnet, want some hot lesbien sex now those guys are gone?
With you? No fucking way! I'm meeting Irvine in an hour...

Showing page 3.

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