All comics by KajunFirefly

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by KajunFirefly
11-13-01
I wonder if Sarah will be missing me, surely she must've noticed I'm missing. I wonder how she's getting on.
maybe if, or when I get home, she'll be waiting for me, maybe we can make another go at a relationship. I'll apologise for being a jealous fool.
I'm sure she'll have forgotten about me shitting in her toaster.

 

by KajunFirefly
11-13-01
hmm
hmm?
why do my testicles just randomly float around my sack on their own? I have no control over it what-so-ever!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-13-01
Johnny meets Phil, from the other side of the island!
when I get off this island, I'm gonna patent headed eyelid pads, I'd rake in a fortune!
but you'd never be able to get to sleep with the wires hanging from your eyes.
they could be solar powered
your hardly going to go to sleep with the light on
you could use them when your sun-bathing!
Phil, your a moron!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-13-01
"I'm going to patent headed eyelid pads.."
aww fuck, I meant to type "heated eyelid pads", I wonder....should I make another copy with the spelling mistake corrected? or explain it in the next strip? hmm....
hey Andy (who isn't dead after all)
you know Kajun, I was going to add you to my favourites, but you made a spelling mistake you newbie cungt!
shit
TOBOR MAKE PRETTY BOY FEEL BETTER!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-13-01
Johnny Castaway and Phil Stranded:
Phil, what's your favourite word?
"penultimate"
why?
It describes me perfectly, I'm the penultimate man!
what? after you there's only one more left?
doesn't penultimate mean something about large testicles?

 

by KajunFirefly
11-13-01
time to catch some dinner!
hey bub!
huh?
how would you like it if we dragged your friend Phil into the sea and ate him?
first I would point and laugh, then I would just laugh!
wise-ass

 

by KajunFirefly
11-13-01
that punk Johnny Castaway will pay for his crimes against the underwater alliance
yes Terry, we shall rise up and crush the infidel
first we'll kidnap that idiot Phil then turn him against Johnny, he shall be our slave, hey, are you listening to me?
hmm?...... yeah...... hang on.....I'm gonna sneak up on that worm over there!
you fool!
aaaaaahh, my cheek!!!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-13-01
I told Phil I thought he was a moron!
You told Phil you thought he was a moron? Did he freak?
He freaked, he asked me to tell him the truth!
He asked you to tell him the truth? you're not supposed to tell him the truth!
THEN WHY WOULD HE ASK ME?
Why would he ask you? so that you would lie, I can't believe you told him the truth!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-13-01
wow, Tom Hanks, you were in that movie, Castaway, if anyone can save me, you can!
sure, all we need to do is make stuff from the Fedex boxes lying around!
uh, there are no Fedex boxes lying around!
no Fedex boxes? not even a Fedex plane? Fedex paper? anything with the Fedex logo? holy shit, how is this thing funded? I don't see one piece of subliminal advertising!
there's a Starbucks on the East side of the island!
hey look, it's Daryl Hannah, my co-star from the 1984 movie "Splash", she'll be able to turn me into a Merman and I can swim home, so long, nob-jockey!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-14-01
oh, hello there, I thought this island was deserted except for me and Phil...... and a selection of celebrity guests, who might you be?
MIGHT BE ROBINSON CRUSOE, YOU BE MAN FRIDAY!
alright, I'll go along with that, so, "Mr Crusoe", got any ideas of getting of this island?
TOBOR GOT SUGGESTION, INVOLVE SWALLOWING A LOT OF BRINE!
it's ok, I've got used to the salt water by now, I've been living on Foaming Crapfish and seaweed for weeks, I've got bowels of STEEL!
TOBOR FIND MAN OF DREAMS!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-14-01
you post in forums? you're added to favourites? and now your making Tobor strips?......Kajun, you've sold out!
no, no way, I'm still an individual, I still rebel against the norm
you've changed man!
no, Tinman, wait!
I'm still the same guy! Tinman! come back!
don't worry Kajun, you're amongst friends now!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-15-01
why, if it isn't nu-metal rap-rock star Fred Durst!
All your motherfuckin' base y'all!
Significant Other was the bomb!
someone set up US the bomb!!
am I cool?

 

by KajunFirefly
11-15-01
Hey Jill, wassup?
Hey Jack, was thinking about climbin' that hill over there, I'm pretty thirsty!
I've got Evian!
thank the lord for corner shops!
you suck at climbing hills anyway

 

by KajunFirefly
11-16-01
Humpty motherfuckin' Dumpty y'all! and I 'aint sittin' on no bitch-ass wall!
all the Doc's homies and all his G's! better stand back before I pop caps in their knees!
must not ruin strip with egg-pun!
do you contain an ovum?

 

by KajunFirefly
11-16-01
Snow White and Prince Charming: After the wedding
look Snow, I love you, but living with a bunch of vertically challenged miners with behavioural problems doesn't sound like much of a life to me!
but Princey, just look at them, they're so cute...
Hi ho, Hi ho, I'm "Pedantic", the leader of the dwarves and I must ask, if you're REALLY a Prince, shouldn't you have some kind of Kingdom or something?
yeah, I'm "Defensive" and I have to ask, why are you moving in with us? We've only got a little house, it's not like we're happy about living with you, asshole!
uh, I'm "Stoner" and I was thinking, like, uh, did they like, name an Orange after the colour? or name the colour after the fruit?
I'm Spankling!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-17-01
2054: The History Channel
...at the turn of the Millenium an internet craze called "All your base" was sweeping the world...
Gwampa, what does "All your base" mean?
ho ho, all your base, hot dang diggity, we used to say that all the time, when we woke up, when we went to the toilet, ho ho, All your base, ha ha ha!
but what does it mean?
I think it was something Dubya said before we got nuked by France!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-18-01
Hey Fartrod, welcome to Stripcreator, enjoy your stay!
I M L three three seven, ph three four r me!!!
loser

 

by KajunFirefly
11-19-01
My girlfriend told me her maternal clock was ticking.
Naturally I didn't listen!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-19-01
...my maternal clock is ticking!
really? well, maybe Santa will have something special for you this Christmas!
I'm glad your not as immature about this as you were last time!
no way honey, I'm the greatest!
wait a minute! maternal what?

 

by KajunFirefly
11-19-01
My girlfriend told me her maternal clock was ticking.
so I pretended I was seeing that hot blonde from accounting, now she'll do anything just to stop me leaving her!
bitch!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-19-01
GIRLFRIEND TELL TOBOR INFANT DISTRIBUTION PROGRAM ACTIVATED!!!
TOBOR NEED TO STOP ACTING LIKE JERK AND GET PROPER JOB NOW!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-20-01
look Kajun, you need to help me, the forum users are taking over the world, Andy's become one of them, we need to chant "ALL YOUR BASE" backwards to reverse the curse!
I....cant....help....you. MUST TAKE PART IN NEW COMIC CONTEST!
SNAP OUT OF IT FOR GOD SAKE MAN, LOOK WHAT YOU'VE BECOME!! Come home with me and we'll straighten you out!
I...AM....HOME!
SU OT GNOLEB ERA ESAB ROUY LLA!!!!
aaarrrrggghhh TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU NOW! nnrrrrgggghhh WHAT YOU SAY!! rrrrraaaaarrrrr VRRROOOOOMMM!!!!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-20-01
ah Kajun, your back!
wait, what the fuck happened?
you got bitten by forum zombie Andy Dougan and became one of them, but luckily I saved you!
somethings coming back to me now.....midnight....midnight Friday, Tobor is going to assrape....
yes?
... he's going to assrape GOD!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-21-01
OUR PLAN HAS WORKED, NOTHING CAN DEFEAT TOBOR NOW, MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-22-01
so wait, I've to go to Tibet to train to fight Tobor?
yup!
and I'm the only one who can do it? you couldn't help me at all?
nope!
don't you have magic powers?
um......no, well, only when the plot gets REALLY desperate!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-22-01
Welllllcome to "Impaired Vision MatchMaker", I'm your host Cassandra Biggles, and welcome our lovely gal that one of these lucky lucky men get to go home with! Hello Kelly!
Hi Cassandra!
let's meet the contestants shall we?
Hi my name's Brian "Thirsty Beatnick" Morrison, I'm into abstract poetry, Dadaistic art and Acid Jazz.
I'm Lance Horndog, I like playing football and rugby, when I'm not boxing or wrestling or learning martial arts I'm helping out at the local church for deaf children!
I'm Spankling!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-22-01
so Kelly, what's your first question for these lucky lucky studs?
Well Cassandra, I'd like to know, if we met in an internet chat room and I asked you to talk dirty, what kind of things would you say to me?
I'd rhyme off some Haiku poems, maybe make some double-entendres about "playing my trombone" and invite you to my love shack!
I'd ask you to have Cyber sex with me, slow, pationate cyber sex, I'd talk about my member sliding across your leg and virtually fondle your breasts!
I'd invite you to read my comic strips about Donkey Sodomy and ass-obsessed sex robots, generally anything involving homosexual rape, All Your Base?

 

by KajunFirefly
11-22-01
oh my, that Spankling certainly has a unique.....something or other, another question Kelly?
uh...yeah, I think that would be best. Gentlemen, if we were walking along a sunny beach in the evening, how would you make it an unforgettable night?
first I'd sketch a drawing of the sea with charcoals, then I'd smear sand over it and throw the paper into the sea before setting fire to my pants, extreme modern art baby, yeah *click click*
I'd pick you up and walk into the sea carrying you, then I'd strip you off and we'd have rampant animal sex in the brine!
I'd poke a hole in the ground and make sweet love to it. that would be unforgettable for me, why? what would YOU do?

 

by KajunFirefly
11-22-01
ahem....Kelly?
um, rrrright....next question. If we were to get married, I would want us to read our own wedding vows, what would you say to show your eternal love to me?
"my love for you is like a warm glow of happyness that tries to escape from my chest but can't, there aren't enought words to describe the emotions I have for you, my one, my only, my fruitbat"
"The first night we shared was special, as were all the others, I guess I should have known you'd end up talking me into this"
Spank Me, Spank Me, Spank Me, Spank Me, Spank Me, Spank Me, Spank Me, Spank Me, Spank Me, Spank Me, Spank Me, Spank Me, Spank Me!!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-22-01
Well Kelly, it's decision time, which lucky batchelor are you going to pick? Number 1 or Number 2?
What about the other one? Wirthling or whatever his name is?
Look bitch, just fucking pick 1 or 2, the other guy's what we call a "filler", he's there to make women watching feel lucky they have the useless slob boyfriends they have!
That's a tad unfair, does he know he's a filler or does he think he has a chance?
these chumps come along and we don't even pay them, ha ha, useless fucking moron, he was trying it on with me backstage!
you know Cassandra, I'm a little pissed off with your attitude, someone should teach you some manners!!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-22-01
so Kelly, 1 or 2, 2 or 1, 1, 2, 2, 1, come on, just pick!
screw you Cassandra, I'm picking number 3!
OH!
MY!
ASS?

 

by KajunFirefly
11-22-01
well Kelly, don't say I didn't warn you, here's your date, Spankling!
oh my, your a grade A male, if you'd heard some of the stuff Cassandra was saying about you, I was expecting some weedy art-school reject!
hey!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-22-01
aren't you even the slightest bit annoid that Cassandra made a fool of you on National TV and you didn't even get paid?
not at all, I knew what she was up to, I've left a little surprise for her in her changing room.
can you believe that bitch tonight Phil? going against what I said and picking the "filler", what a retard......Phil? did you see? Phil? PHIL?
oh dear Lord!
THIS NOT CONTESTANT NUMBER 2!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-24-01
Andy, your such a forum zombie, man, you've changed!
yeah, so you've said Kajun, why don't you just go fuck yourself eh?
hey man, I've been making comics here for about 3 months but I thought I'd start posting in the forums, wanna read my comics?
does it have anything about Tobor or donkey sodomy in it?
no, it's my unique take on political events and my views on relationships in the new millenium!
fuck off lamer!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-24-01
well Jesus, I've just been ordained as a Minister of my own church, The church of The Kajun Firefly, so, I guess I wont be looking to you for direction anymore, people will be looking to me!
could you get Jesus a claw hammer?

 

by KajunFirefly
11-27-01
What are you getting for Christmas this year?
Peace on Earth!
sweet, I'm getting a Playstation 2!
wanna swap?

 

by KajunFirefly
11-27-01
so, I see you won Comic Contest 81?
why yes, yes I did!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-28-01
I'm sorry boys, but this year, what with the high demand of kids wanting an X-box, Microsoft have bought us over!
but they can't buy over Santa, your the spirit of Christmas, surely no amount of money can take the joy away from you!
hey man, you think I LIKE riding around all night on a sledge? I'm basically a magic postman, think of all the other jobs I could've had, Angel of Death, Easter Bunny!
uh...
you think it's EASY to bulk up 300lbs every year? My sex life has been ruined, I used to be a fucking stud you know, Venus, Aphrodite, they were all MY bitches!
oh fuck, Santa's gone insane

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
West Street Underground
Bridge Street Underground
St Enoch's Underground

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
heard any news?
well, Mr Gates says that when he bought the Grotto he expected the delivery service aswell, he says we'd better just figure it out ourselves!
but we need Santa to guid us, we cant just go randomly galloping around, only he knows who's been naughty and nice!
I know, but remember a while back, Santa trained some replacement, we could use one of them.
don't say another word, you know there's only one of them still alive and there is no way, NO WAY in hell he's getting hold of my reigns!
look Rudolph, I don't see how we have much choice in the matter, I'll go ring him just now!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
...yes, I know, but you have to understand, we can't promise you anything right now, we need to save Christmas, we'll talk deal later!
*muffled phone voice*
hmm, that sound like an idea actually, you know, I think even Rudolph would agree to that, ok, your on, just be here early Christmas Eve, I'll try to find Santa's good children list!
*muffled phone voice*
3, I think, I don't know, I think sitting in the warm water loosened it a bit though!
*muffled phone laughter*

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
this is...
that fucker Gates, I'm not even employed by Santa, and he's got me clearing his driveway by rolling around on the ground, fucking tosser!
...just to build character!
oh shit!
WHAT DID YOU SAY INSOLENT SNOWMAN!?
oh, he's a horrible man isn't he?
hey, is that your kid?
no, I stole this one from the Lesbian Baby Emporium, I'm gonna make it wrestle!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
hey Spankling, not often we see you in this part of the world, could you not wait for your sonic ass ring?
well, I'm actually saving the world from destruction, I just thought I'd pop over and see Santa!
actually, Santa's gone, Bill Gates bought us over and Santa retired, no-one's seen him since!
Bill Gates? That slimey bastard, he's hated in both Heaven and Hell, Satan would pay a pretty penny to see him in chains!
boo....hisss.....booo!
a-ha, if it isn't Mr Bluescreen himself!
ah, Mr Spankling, I've been expecting you!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
Bill old boy, I'm taking you in, your coming to Hell with me, I'm gonna watch you burn!
'fraid not Spankers, you see, your my Tobor cornholing droid, I created you to cornhole me day and night, we were so happy together Spankers!
its....its.....not true!
oh I'm afraid it is, you can't do me any harm, it's encoded into your brain, just like that "easter egg" I programmed into your nipple ring, it's like a grenade!
booo.... hisss.... booo!!
aaaaaaarrrrrgggghhh!
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
I'm afraid it's true Rudolph, Gates killed Spankling, looks like we're doomed!
I...I can't believe it, that BASTARD!! I'm gonna make him pay!!
I know, I know, but we have more important things to deal with just now, we need a replacement Santa for tomorrow!
yes, I think that's been taken care of, although I'm a little worried!
the, uh, the.... the.... uh.... the "replacement" has just arrived!
really? then why are you so nervous?

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
Christmas Eve.
you....you.....YOU'RE THE REPLACEMENT??
MMM, HMM!
dear god, what was Rudolph thinking?
there was no-one else in the whole world, I promise!
just promise me you'll not let him out of your site?

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
Christmas Eve Night.
so, do you think it's going to work?
I hope so, I really do, otherwise Gates will kill us all!
I'll be amazed if they even take off, does he have the naughty or nice list?
that's the worrying thing, he brought his own!
oh, there they go, they've taken off!
shit, this present should be on the Sleigh, oh well, I guess Tiny Tim can do without roller-blades this year!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
is it a bird? is it a plane?
is it SANTA?
hey....what the hell IS that??

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
HO HO HO, HELLO LITTLE GIRL!!!!!!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
HO HO HO!! MERRY CHRISTMAS HELMUT!!
hey, wait a minute, aren't you that ass-rapin' robot? stay back ye hear, I got a gun!!
NO, TOBOR STAND IN FOR SANTA, TOBOR SPREAD LOVE AND JOY! HE BRING PRESENT, LOOK BEHIND YOU!!
I know what's going on here rust bucket, I turn round, you cornhole me, right?
MERRY CHRISTMAS HELMUT!
oh my!

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