All comics by SassyOphelia

 

Ebony's 6 Year Old Niece Reviews Movies by SassyOphelia 1-23-07
True Story. So, how did you like "Happy Feet"? Bleh.	Bleh? Why?	Too many penguins.

 

This is for my brother by SassyOphelia 2-19-07
So, Dr Puppies, my boyfriend is in med school, what's it like? Long.	Yeah, four years after already doing college is a bit much.	Just think of it in dog years.

 

Just LOOK at That Adorable Face. by SassyOphelia 3-29-07
When I'm trying to lose weight, my body is like a cute little animal and I can't tell it no. cheese?	I'm going to the gym and eating healthy today. Let's have cheeses.

 

My Weight Loss Obsession Has Gone Too Far by SassyOphelia 3-29-07
Can we have garlic breads? This would be easier if you weren't so cute.	and a belly rub LISTEN TO ME	I like garlic breads YOU'RE MAKING ME FAT

 

How Cute Things Survive in the Wild by SassyOphelia 3-29-07
yummy bacon I'm SCARY! SCARY BACON!	Can I eat you? GRRR	Well, okay.

 

Sometimes Songs Do Make Sense! by SassyOphelia 4-02-07
"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just may find, you get what you need"	"If you can't be with the one you love, baby, love the one you're with"	Classic rock was all about SETTLING.

 

Yeah, that's basically how it happened. by SassyOphelia 5-20-07
I've got something to ask. Why are all of my friends here?	Because I wanted everyone to witness what I have to say You're so engaging!	Well, that's the thing.... I do.

 

Only Three More Years... by SassyOphelia 9-08-07
What's wrong, Sass? I hate Pittsburgh, it closes at 5 pm and everyone is mean and Im lonely	But Pittsburgh is a bustling metropolis with a heart of gold!

 

My Professor Looks Like Owen Wilson. by SassyOphelia 9-23-07
And class, I know once I mention this, you'll all run out and buy it...		Just kidding! I know students don't have money!

 

Yes, We STILL Live Together. by SassyOphelia 9-26-07
In the Old Testament, angels appeared to prophets in dreams.	For the past two weeks, I have dreamt of nothing but dinosaurs.	Make your own conclusions. Sorry, that was me.

 

My Dreams are Really Messed Up by SassyOphelia 10-04-07
I'm exhausted all the time.	I wish I could have one night where I didn't dream of dinosaurs, the apocalypse, Britney Spears, or my high school friends.	What ever happened to good old fashioned sexy dreams?

 

Numbers 1-25 are all "MURDER" by SassyOphelia 10-08-07
Hey Sweetie Cut it out, Sassy, put the puppet away.	But the puppet WUVS YOU. The puppet thinks you're adorable and wants to eat your soul :-)	Reason why you shouldn't be a children's librarian #54.

 

Reason #47 by SassyOphelia 10-08-07
Okay kids, meet Chippy! The squirrel that watches you masturbate!		And no one's complained? He's adorable and teaches a valuable lesson, what's to complain about?

 

You Just Need a Point of Reference. by SassyOphelia 10-09-07
That's such a sad movie! Oh Bambi's mom... I never understood why humans find that so sad.	Okay, think of The Land Before Time. Remember Littlefoot's mom?	Now I understand. Oh Bambi's mom...

 

Divide Your Age in Two and Add Seven by SassyOphelia 10-09-07
You know, we've lived together four years and you have never even once brought a guy back. What's up with that?	I'm a bit old for the dating scene. 67 million years too old, to be exact.	I'm a cougar!

 

I think this is reason number 301? by SassyOphelia 11-29-07
Miss Zee, these storytime activities are unacceptable! Kids like to dance and sing	Pop goes the weasel, here we go round the mulberry bush, I'm drawing on a rich background.	You're asking the children to shake it like a Polaroid picture! Children love to shake it.

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