All comics by Trippingbillee

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by Trippingbillee
7-07-03
Fag.
What a horrible word to use on a perfect stranger! Don't you realize you could be inflicting severe emotional damage?
We interrupt this comic to bring you Dancy the dog!
Hi, kids. Over the course of this comic, Blue learned a lot about being good member of society. He is no longer a homophobe!
However, lots of boys uncomfortable with sexuality continue to bash gay people. Don't they see? Gays are just like the rest of us humans. Unlike Jewish people. They are dirty, horrible people.

 

by Trippingbillee
7-19-03
We enjoy the band "Oasis."

 

by Trippingbillee
7-20-03
This snow is lovely. Thanks for taking me out on a date, Taylor.
Of course. Boy, it sure is pretty out here, isn't it?
Yeah, I love it. But I'm getting a little chilly.
Well, what did you expect? Hawaii?
Meanwhile, in Hawaii...

 

by Trippingbillee
7-20-03
Aaagghhhh! Tobor!
Actually, I'm an earlier model in that series.
Really?
Yep. My name is "PLATON 2000."
So, what then?
I just want to be friends.

 

by Trippingbillee
7-26-03
I know that it is Field Day of August, and that we are supposed to be celebrating the natrual and zesty taste of grass...
Yes, grandma? Do you not like the taste of the grass in this field?
It's not that. It's that I have cancer. I'm going to die in a few weeks.
Swimming is the best form of excercise!

 

by Trippingbillee
8-14-03
Sigh. Your "teleportation" machine seems to only take us into the middle of the desert, Tim. I guess we'll never be Wizards like Harry Potter.
Ok. Look at all the Eagles in the sky. They'll tell us where to find food.
Those are vultures. And you're a robot, not an animal. You don't need food.
I trained myself to eat human food the other day. Even my vomiting looks convincing.
Why did you train yourself to vomit?
Chicks dig robots who expell partially digested Nuggets of carbohydrates and proteins.

 

by Trippingbillee
8-15-03
A jamband concert? Phish? I don't know, dude. I'm into more mainstream stuff.
Phish is like, dude, so totally, like, on. They're above music.
Anyway, I don't like drugs, and I hear you need to be on drugs to enjoy Phish.
Drugs are like, above the music. It just gets you higher, so you can see everything, man. It's like being God for a little. Shit, that's brilliant! I have to write that down in my journal!
Dear Journal- Today, I realized what it is about Phish that I like so much! It's like being God! I forgot why though. Oh, shit, journal, I also had this awesome roast beef sandwich today.

 

by Trippingbillee
8-21-03
Welcome back to college! Before you join the network, you must take all these anti-worm precautions. We can't be too careful these days.
Ok.
There, I've taken every precaution. Now, I just have to send this form in through the college website. After that, I'll be surfing the web!
Cannot reach server; please check network connection.

 

by Trippingbillee
9-02-03
This is odd. As a time traveling robot, I expected to see the antique yet functional civilization of Americans in 1900, yet there appears to be no such thing.
*Zim* *Boop Bleerp*
Perhaps I should re-calibrate.
Wait a minute... I'm not a robot! I'm just a snow machine. Oh, irony, thou art both my greatest pleasure and my greatest pain.

 

by Trippingbillee
9-02-03
Hey, Bullman, you wanna go back in time?
Do I!?
It'll be awhile. My time machine shares my internet connection, and I've got a lot of porn files downloading at the moment.

 

by Trippingbillee
9-08-03

 

by Trippingbillee
9-10-03
I want a divorce. You change the wallpaper every day. The colors are making me sick.
My environment must suit me.
It's like a really, really slow motion Japanese kid's show.
So, what are you saying? Are you calling me Japanese?
No. I'm making a reference to a bit of pop culture, you know, that story about how that cartoon gave all those kids seizures. But it's too late now. You've ruined the goddamn joke.
Are you calling me a Nazi?

 

by Trippingbillee
9-30-03
Oh, my God! Fishsticks! You're going to melt. I'll go get help!
And it was then that I opened myself to the gentle indifference of the world.

 

by Trippingbillee
10-18-03
Hi, I'm new to stripcreator. Do you have any tips?
Avoid proper grammar. Also, try to use the narration boxes.
thanks do you have a cigarete?
I quit smoking when my husband came home smelling like another woman's perfume.
this is the third panil
why did that make you quite smoking! it seems to me like that would just make you very sad
I finished my last cigarette by putting it out in his eye. Can you think of a better way to quit?

 

by Trippingbillee
10-18-03
One night. Three murders.
But wait. Let me introduce myself. They call me "The Detective". That's also my job.
My real name is Nancy.
Are you done in the bathroom yet, Nancy? You're supposed to get out on that case!

 

by Trippingbillee
10-24-03
Ok, look. I know that we've had some cutbacks here at the Ice-A-Hol Corporation. I just want to make sure that marketing knows what its doing.
Don't worry, man. My presentation today is going to be AWESOME!
I'm just a little worried, seeing as you're the only member of the marketing department left. And you're a drug addict.
Don't worry. I used my special market researching skills to get at the best way to sell this product. No time to discuss it though; the meeting is starting soon!
As you can see from the slide, this is how we will show people what Scotchvilla sounds like.

 

by Trippingbillee
11-10-03
Man, that drive to Ontario was hard. Let's finally start protesting this bitch. I hate brad.
I hate all that is light and cheery.
You know what pisses me off the most about brad? He doesn't even make any fucking comics, and he runs a COMIC MAKING WEBSITE. That's FUBAR.
I hate the feeling of pleasure on gets from biting into a perfect orange. I also hate rainbows.
His music makes me want to find the dcomposed remains of a corpse and cover myself in its germs and disease.
The one thing I like about brad is that his music makes me feel the same way.

 

by Trippingbillee
11-26-03
You saw the last Matrix movie?
Yes.
What? Was it bad or something?
Yeah. I let myself get all build up in expectation, then they pulled the oldest trick in the book...
Haha, you fuckers! You paid ten dollars to find out Neo was just me all over again! Fuck original ideas. I rule!

 

by Trippingbillee
11-28-03
Jupiter! Thou hath given me masters that work me painfully.
Thou seemth pleasant.
I liketh the Marlins.
The horror!

 

by Trippingbillee
12-03-03
I'm here to investigate the murder.
The murder? There was no murder.
There will be soon if you don't fess up what you know.
Ha! You'll make a great stripper for the party. You're hired!
So there's no...shucks, I thought this was a real case.
Naw, I'm just kidding. My grandpa killed my wife then ran. There's blood everywhere. C'mon in for some lemonade. Watch your feet. Spleen all over the carpets.

 

by Trippingbillee
12-03-03
It happened in here. I walked in on my grandpa cutting my wife open with a chainsaw.
Good god, man! Have you seen a psychiatrist? That could be crippling!
No, but I called in on a talkshow. The host told me to replace my "negative energy" with "postive energy." I did that, and now I feel much better.
But... shouldn't you hire someone to clean the blood off of all your stuff?
I like to keep little reminders of my wife around, if that's ok with you.
Sir, may I suggest seeing a psychiatrist anyway?

 

by Trippingbillee
12-03-03
The scene of the second murder.
I'm here to investigate the murder that took place.
Body's already in the ambulance. We've got all the clues we need.
I was hired by a rich industrialist to solve this case, and, by golly, that's what I'm gonna do.
Right, but your private detection business gives you no right to interfere with our police business.
I have a three week old twinkie in my pocket.
Sold. Here's everything we know.

 

by Trippingbillee
12-03-03
Welcome to iTunes for Windows!
Finally. A decent music jukebox.
Please look at my great song selection. We have over ten gablillion songs!
Hey, cool. I've been meaning to get some Miles Davis recordings that I've heard great things about.
Miles Davis? Is that like Coldplay? Or Linkin Park? Or Britney Spears? Because we have those, if that's what you meant.
Yes, that's what I meant.

 

by Trippingbillee
12-06-03
Zombie number 1844855! You've escaped! Get back into your zombie cell.
Yale to go to want I. Not will you me stop.
Yale is an amazing place, but I'm not sure if they'll accept you. I mean, you're a zombie that speaks backwards and cannot love.
Place this escape. Me helped. Has education snobby of love. Wings have now I.
Love will not be enough to get you into Yale. You need at LEAST a 1450 on your SAT's, and even then you'll need lots of after school activities.
Brains eat I. Also, Minority a of kind I'm.

 

by Trippingbillee
12-06-03
Finals! Trippingbillee versus Kajun Firefly!
Oh boy! Another chance to compete in a humor competition!
Yay for attitudechicka and her comic cup! All this comic-making makes me forget about all the death!
So much death. Well, I guess its time to start cleaning off dead bodies... with my tongue.
And after you're done, we need another round of "shoot the annoying robot with our guns to take our minds off the fact that we're all gonna die for a war we don't understand."

 

by Trippingbillee
12-09-03
The scene of the third murder.
Hi little girl. Do you know anything about what happened last night?
No, I just like to play in this field.
Oh, well, I guess I better go find someone who can give me some clues about the murder that took place here.
I think murder is a terrible thing. I wish it never happened.
Why don't you run along and go play? This isn't a place for nice young girls.
Boy, I'm so innocent. DEFINITELY not the killer.

 

by Trippingbillee
12-10-03
Hey, I'm here for the X-mas party.
This party sucks a bunch of wombat pus.
Oh man... Is Jeannie drunk again?
Yep. And I think she's hitting on the boss.
That's very interesting, Jeannie.
So I says, "Fungus? My Vagina? No way!" But it turns out that its totally a normal thing for womens. Say, do you like cars? I have a car. I call it "Red Demon" because itsh so fast!

 

by Trippingbillee
1-27-04
Thanks, Prometheus!
Thanks, Prometheus!
Fuck you, Prometheus!

 

by Trippingbillee
1-27-04
Ok, so let me get this straight. We DON'T want the good, liberal candidate to be nominated because he'll never beat Bush.
Right. We need a more conservative, middle-of-the-road guy.
So, we don't want someone, with, say, an actual liberal idealogy.
Right. We need someone to appeal to the fence-sitters, swing voters, and democrats in the South who approve of Bush.
So we need to nominate... a conservative. To beat another conservative.
We're thinking about asking G.W. Bush to run on the Democrats' ticket as well as the Republicans'. We think he has the best chance of beating himself.

 

by Trippingbillee
1-28-04
Kerry won New Hampshire.
I saw. G.W. is getting re-elected.
Let's not jump to conclusions. You never know what this little country has in store.
Yes, you do. Big, fat, smelly hypocrisy and a tendency towards agression.

 

by Trippingbillee
1-28-04
Greece Circa Something B.C.
We shall represent the masses, for they are too weak to think for themselves.
However, we must be cautious and aim for the ultimate Good.
France Circa 18th Century
We must re-kindle the light of democracy. Secular, humanistic, and rational. Wine and Cheese!
However, we must be cautious and avoid placing too much power in the wrong place. Oui-Oui!
America 2004
We shall represent the masses, for they are too weak to think for themselves.
However, we must be cautious and aim for ultimate profits.

 

by Trippingbillee
2-07-04
Think about Calculus. Think about the derivative of a curve. That's just as arbitrary as assigning "length" to a straight line. Most people think of the derivative as a useless concept that only...
...scientists care about. But the notion of "length" is exactly the same. Infinite points? How is that measurable? Yet we think we "know" length, but don't "know" derivative. I think you hear me.
Are you trying to say that it is fundamentally impossible to truly "know" a line, point, or derivative? And so therefore they are all equal?
I guess I really don't know.
I've heard this line before, and so I find your point to be extremely derivative.

 

by Trippingbillee
9-29-04
Internet porn has gotten really unsexy lately.
This girl is less attractive than my girlfriend.
*Unzip*

 

by Trippingbillee
10-21-04
John Kerry announced today that he would be taking a hunting trip in Ohio.
Apparently people's voting choices can be influenced by the candidates' hobbies and irrelevant personality traits.
That is ridiculous. I'm voting for Kerry because of his effective health care plan.
Yes, his health care plan that makes sense.

 

by Trippingbillee
10-21-04
Here at the Fair Farm, we don't slaughter our chickens. We wait for them to die of old age.
I like grain.
In fact, most of our chickens are blissfully unaware of the violence that befalls their kin.
I like pooping.
Can I take your order?
Yeah, I'll have the "Ethical Gray Area" meal. Supersized.

 

by Trippingbillee
12-27-04
I'm just saying... I think you should switch internet browsers.
Internet Explorer is fine.
No, it's really not. It crashes all the time. Seriously man. I care about this.
THE WORLD HAS ENDED. PLEASE STOP TRYING TO GET ME TO USE FIREFOX. IT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SHOULD HAVE THIS MUCH OF YOUR TIME INVESTED IN.

 

by Trippingbillee
12-27-04
Tonight's top story: I contracted Hepatitis B from a transexual hooker.
In other news, apparently Hepatitis B is an STD.
I thought it was an fat person disease, but it turns out I was thinking of diabetes.

 

by Trippingbillee
1-02-05
Do the right thing. And by right thing, I mean fuck over poor people. And gay people.
Do the wrong thing. And by the wrong thing, I mean fuck over poor people. And gay people. Also, pee in your wife's soup while it's still in the kitchen.

 

by Trippingbillee
1-18-05
Three murders took place in Illinois last night. The police have no leads and no clue as to the motive of the killer.
In other news, a little girl in a field just generously donated five of her kidneys and three of her hearts to the organ transplant unit at Illinois Central Hospital.
I guess it's safe to say that this one little girl as a lot of heart!
Hahahahaha.
Hahahahaha.
Ha...hahahahahaha. Good one, Jake.

 

by Trippingbillee
6-04-05
The only clue I have is that each person murdered had a candy wrapper near the body.
What kind of killer kills for a single piece of candy?
Granted, it was Reeces' Fastbreak, the most deliciousest candy bar in existence. Almost worth killing for. Almost.
Nancy, do you have the shits again, or are you just hanging out in the bathroom because my mother is here?

 

by Trippingbillee
6-04-05
Back at the field...
Say, little girl: What's your favorite candy?
Fastbreak bars. Mmmmm. I would KILL for one right now.
I mean, not that. Not what I said. Something else less violent and suspicious that I would not kill for.
Like fun-dip?
Yes, fun-dip.

 

by Trippingbillee
6-05-05
Well, the first murder was comitted by a grandfather. So you definitely couldn't be the murderer.
Right.
Unless, of course, you are a grandfather.
Hahahaha. That is probably not true.
Good point.
Unless you're talking about Bill, who refers to every relative as his grandfather, including his asian daughter.

 

by Trippingbillee
7-14-05
It's true. My little asian female grandfather killed my wife.
You realize that was your daughter, right?
Yessir, my grandfather. Say, would you like some lasagna? I made it out of sunshine!
And my dead wife.

 

by Trippingbillee
7-14-05
Come with me, Bill. I need you to identify someone.
Sure. Let me grab my wife's ribcage as a hat.
I should take him to a psychiatrist right after I get him to identify the murderer.
Boy, this is hard to get out of her chest! *Crack* Oops! Haha.

 

by Trippingbillee
7-14-05
Is this her, Bill?
Grandpa!
Freeze, kid. You're under arrest.
Ok, actually, I have no authority to arrest you, seeing as I'm a P.I. I will, however, call the police and file a report. A big report.

 

by Trippingbillee
7-14-05
Aw, shucks.
Do you want to go to the police station and press charges, Bill?
Not really. Besides, I found a dead skunk in the field. Soup's on! Hahaha. No, seriously, I'd rather just pretend that my grandfather didn't kill my wife.

 

by Trippingbillee
7-14-05
And in other news, a private investigator tipped the police off about those murders.
A small asian girl, known only as, "Grandpa," is in police custody.
Sounds like someone is her own Grandpa.
Hahahahahahaha. Oh Jake. Sigh.
Did anyone see that movie with Tom Arnold? "The Stupids?" I think he is his own grandpa in that movie.
You heard it here first. Coming up, an area man has built a working automobile out of his dead wife's rotting carcass! Details after this break.

 

by Trippingbillee
7-21-05
Thanks for nothing, Nancy.
Sorry, kid. I guess that rich industrialist didn't want his delicious candybar associated with murder.
It's no matter. My dad will bail me out.
It's his choice, I guess.
I smell chocalate....and peanut butter cream. And....nougat.
These are thick steel bars, so don't even try it.

 

by Trippingbillee
7-21-05
Thanks for bailing me out, dad.
No problem, Grandpa. Your mom came to see you! Hold on, and I'll go get her.
Look, grandpa! We're making a snow angel! Hahaha. *Snap* Oops! Hahaha.

 

by Trippingbillee
7-21-05
Sigh. It is just as I feared. I have finally created a candybar delicious enough to make children kill for them.
Wait. Do you mean that kids will kill in order to have the candybar, or that the candybar will somehow command children and make them murder people?
The first one. The one that just happened. I haven't made a sentient candybar that willfully commands children to commit murder...
Well, I'm off. Thanks for hiring me.
DUM DUM DUM!!!!
...yet.

Showing page 3.

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