All comics by dcomposed

Profile

 

by dcomposed
10-26-02
Hello, my name is Arab.
And my name is Blue.
dcomposed has asked us to come here today for a series.
'though he still has no idea what he wants to make it about.
Lets make it about necrophelia.
sure, why not.

 

by dcomposed
10-26-02
Since we are making a series about necrophilia, you should fuck some dead bitches so we know what it's like.
why me?
I fucked a camel for our documentary on Osama Bin Laden.
It wasn't a DEAD camel.
yes it was.

 

by dcomposed
10-27-02
HEY LENNY! WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE SF GIANTS AND THE ANAHEIM ANGELS?
THE GIANTS DIDN'T WIN THE WORLD SERIES!
TAKE THAT BASTARD GIANTS!

 

by dcomposed
10-31-02
Did I ever tell you about the time I turned into a deer and threw up all over a pumpkin?
I'm going to be sick!
OH NO!
Yeah, I think so.

 

by dcomposed
11-01-02
Hey, Blue. It's been a week and dcomposed still hasn't continued this series.
yeah.

 

by dcomposed
11-01-02

 

by dcomposed
11-01-02
I'm bored.
yeah.
Let's go play some poker.

 

by dcomposed
11-01-02
I have a pair of twos.
I have a flush.
Poker is fun.
yeah.
THE END!

 

by dcomposed
11-08-02
Not anymore. I had an associate of mine take care of your husband?
You killed my husband?
Yes. I had him thrown off a sky scraper.
But he's a duck. ducks can fly.
Oh yeah, we cut his wings off too.

 

by dcomposed
11-08-02
Now you have no choice but to marry me.
oh, ok.
I know pronounce you man and duck.

 

by dcomposed
11-08-02
Trick or Treat!
Dude, I came to your door. You're supposed to give me shit.
Trick or Treat!
Just gimme some candy.
I have a kitty!

 

by dcomposed
11-08-02
Yeah, I'll have a double cheeseburger, large fries and 3 pepsis.
Trick or Treat!
WHAT'S THAT BEHIND YOU?!?!
Ha ha, Tricked ya. Now give me my food.

 

by dcomposed
11-08-02
TRICK OR TREAT!!!
Trick or Treat!
No way am I eating that cat! Cat's are people too you know.
Trick or Treat!
fuck it, might as well.

 

by dcomposed
11-08-02
((SINGING CHRISTMAS SONGS))
Trick or Treat!
It's christmas, Sir.
*SLAM*

 

by dcomposed
11-08-02
Trick or Treat!
I have come to take over your planet!
Your costume is pretty.
*SLAM!*

 

by dcomposed
11-08-02
Kitty!
I am a very intelegent kitten, you will refer to me as sir.
Trick or Treat!
You mean Trick or Treat, Sir.
Kitty!

 

by dcomposed
11-08-02
Trick or Treat!
Hey, your one of those retarted guys from TV.
I was on TV!
Yeah, so give me some candy.
Trick or Treat!

 

by dcomposed
11-08-02
Trick or Treat!
I'VE GOT MAIL!
Trick or Treat!
I'VE GOT MAIL!
Trick or Treat!
I'VE GOT MAIL!

 

by dcomposed
11-08-02
Trick or Treat!
Hello sir, I am a representitive from SC Phones co, would you like to purchase a cellular phone?
Trick or Treat!
ah, a halloween phone phone, we have one of them.
I have a kitty!
I'll trade a phone for him.

 

by dcomposed
11-08-02
Trick or Treat!
I have been sent by Gabriel Billings to collect candy.
Trick or Treat!
*Trick or Treat* does not compute.
Trick or Treat! Trick or Treat! Trick or Treat! Trick or Treat! Trick or Treat!
ARGHH! SYSTEM OVERLOAD!

 

by dcomposed
11-08-02
Trick or Treat!
I rob from the rich and give to the poor. you seem to be rich so I will take your cat.
Poor Kitty.
Your cat is poor? I will instead give him a wide screen TV.
*SLAM*

 

by dcomposed
11-08-02
Trick or Treat!
I'm here to fix the sink.
Trick or Treat!
you must be the guy who took a dump in it.
Trick or Treat!
I'll come back later.

 

by dcomposed
11-08-02
Trick or Treat!
what's up doc?
Trick or Treat!
dude, I've beaten Hitler, if I want candy from you I can get it.
*SLAM!*
but I don't have any thumbs to open the door.

 

by dcomposed
11-08-02
Trick or Treat!
hello.
Trick or Treat!
what? is that code for something? are you with the FBI?
Trick or Treat!
OH NO!

 

by dcomposed
11-08-02
Trick or Treat!
I want candy.
Trick or Treat!
If you don't give me candy now some thing bad might happen.

 

by dcomposed
11-09-02
It was a regular saturday moring.. I woke up...
I just woke up. What a great dream I had last night.
I had my breakfast and watched my telivision catch fire...
I'm eating breakfast and watching my telly burn, but at least it's better than watching Dr. Phil.
When suddenly there was a knock at the door...
Look at that, there's a knock at the door.
*knock knock*

 

by dcomposed
11-09-02
Where's the fire?
The fires been out since last week.
So there is no fire? We've got a problem then.
Yes we do.
I'll send someone around next week to make a fire for you.

 

by dcomposed
11-09-02
Can I help you?
Is thatta your catta over therea?
yes that's my cat, his name is Mr. Sparkles.
oh he'lla bea sparkling alrighty.
Now whera did I puta my lighter?

 

by dcomposed
11-09-02
I like fire, but only when it's in it's place - The kitchen!
Well this is what I think of your sexist ways.
I'll just take your cat!
KITTY!

 

by dcomposed
11-09-02
*ring ring*
hello?
Yeah this is Henry at Big Ass Dildos for Big Asses, I'm calling to tell you that your anus size is too large for our dildos, you'll have to try somewhere else.
I seem to be getting that ugly bald guys personal phone calls. With this information who knows what I can acomplish?
*ring ring* I know you have my phone...
Oh no! It's ugly bald guy!

 

by dcomposed
11-09-02
Can I help you?
I'm here to put out the fire?
That was over a month ago.
LOOK BEHIND YOU!
what?
Here's your fire!

 

by dcomposed
11-09-02
We'll be together forever.
BLEEUUURGGHH!
what? are you trying to ring?
I WILL DESTROY THE WHOLE WORLD... STARTING WITH YOU!!!
Nooooo.. HELP HELP! Security!
BLEEUURGHH! *gobble gobble* mmm, granny meat.

 

by dcomposed
11-09-02
Hi, I'm a lawyer here to help with your car crash case.
But the trial was 4 days ago. I'm going to be in here for a week then 100 hours of communty service.
So you want out of prison?
yes.
I'll send someone over next week to help you out.

 

by dcomposed
11-09-02
Hey I heard you're busy so I came to help you.
naw, we were busy last week but know it's really quite.
But I came here to help.
Well if you really want to help my wife wants to leave me, can you watch the prison while I go talk to her?
Your wife wants to leave you?, I'll send someone over to sort her out next week.
But she would have left me by then.

 

by dcomposed
11-09-02
Damnit Gerrold, Did you have your wife killed again?
Sorry Martin, I couldn't resist.
you know the penatly for the third time is death.
So there gonna kill you? I'll send someone over next week to help you.

 

by dcomposed
11-09-02
So how's about getting me out?
why not just go out the door. You're a cop, you have the keys.
hey good idea.
hey, you locked me in!
Sorry, I'll send someone over in a week to help you out.

 

by dcomposed
11-09-02
Hey I'm here for the mateing.
You! You started all this. I should gore you right through the wall.
Can't we just mate instead?
sure.
ONE WEEK LATER......
So why don't we have a baby yet?
It could have something to do with us both being males.

 

by dcomposed
11-11-02
I bring news from above, sir.
What is it?
dcomposed has just won a comic compitition!
Did someone turn down the heat?

 

1
by dcomposed
11-11-02
How could you fail me? It was such an easy mission!
I'm sorry but it was..
SILENCE!
What I need is a warrior so powerfull I can finally defeat that little girl! but where can I find one...?

 

2
by dcomposed
11-11-02
You! You look like a noble warrior, will you fight for my army?
I have dreamed of this day for years, my liege.
Very well. In the morning you shall venture to Houston, Texas and defeat the little girl who has caused my regime much humiliation
A little girl? You want me to kill a little girl?
This is no ordinary little girl, this girl has a very powerfull artifact in her possession. She has... The Golden Yo-Yo of Death!

 

3
by dcomposed
11-11-02
At the Houston airport...
What brings you to Houston?
I have been sent here to destroy a little girl and recover a lost artifact in order to save my race.
No, really? Are you here for the hookers? 'cause my roomate can fix you up with whatever you need.
Well I still have 10 minutes before my mission officially begins, I guess I could go a hoe.
great, wait here and I'll hook you up.

 

4
by dcomposed
11-11-02
I hear your looking for a hoe.
That is right, have you seen her?
I'm the hoe, and before we start I'm going to need you to tell me what you want to do.
Well first I need to find a little girl, then I need to take her sacred artifact so my race can live on.
I've heard about all I need.

 

5
by dcomposed
11-11-02
Ah ha! This whole time the hoe was really me. Walker, Texas Ranger.
We're still going to have sex, right?
You, sir are under arrest.
FIGHT SCENE!

 

6
by dcomposed
11-11-02
I will never be able to defeat the little girl from in here. but how can I get out?
Hey, Officer. That Walker guy was trying to solicite sex from me.
He was? well I'll just have to arrest his punk ass too.
Idiot.

 

7
by dcomposed
11-11-02
It appears the tables have turned and it is now YOU who is in jail, Mr. Walker.
At least I'll have the cell to myself when you get the chair in 5 minutes.
That's what you think.
I used to work here and I'm pretty sure that dead bodys are still relocated to the morgue. So with you dead I can have the cell to myself.
But I have a genius plan to escape leaving you behind.
I'd like to see you try. The officer on duty is the states finest you'll never get passed him.

 

8
by dcomposed
11-11-02
okay sir, come this way to die.
Look! Billy Bob Thornton is behind you!
Where?
Oh, damnit, that's the third one this week.

 

9
by dcomposed
11-11-02
Now where will I find a little girl?
I know! The World Association for Little Girl Sexers is in town, I'll go to their meeting and find out if anyone has seen her.
Maybe I'll get some action while i'm there.

 

by dcomposed
11-11-02
So have you seen a little girl with a Golden Yo-Yo of Death.
When I was staring at that girl over there's buttocks, I think a yo-yo might have gone in front of it breifly.
Thank you, you've been a great help.
I wish the wind didn't change when that little girl's pants fell down, my face looks so ugly like this.

 

by dcomposed
11-11-02
Little girl, I have come for the yo-yo.
But this is my yo-yo. I found it outside the supermarket.
Either you give me the yo-yo or I cut off your head.
You wouldn't do that.
Wouldn't I? Why do I carry this sword around then?
Because it takes the attention away from your mullet?

 

by dcomposed
11-11-02
What will it take for you to give me the yo-yo?
I want the Hitmonchan pokemon card?
What? It took me years to find that card!
Take it or leave it.
urgh. take the card.
yay.

Showing page 3.

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