All comics by william_wraithe

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by william_wraithe
11-22-07
Only one superimposing thought was on Larry's mind when the roof of the airplane ripped off, leaving him and the other passengers waiting for death ....
Noooooooo!
Must reach ..... for it!!!!
and that was to save the only item he ever won on Ebay by bidding ...
Can't let the only thing I have ever won on Ebay escape my grasp!

 

by william_wraithe
11-22-07
Here is what a stupid comic looks like with no apprent meaning ...
The End is nigh ...
Hmmm .... don't you mean that the end is here?
No. The End is nigh ...
Hmmmm .... don't you mean the end is upon us?
now you know.
No ... I mean your End is here!
Hmmmm ... how could my end be here when there are bubbles, rainbows and butterflies present? Is it because you look like a killer in this beautiful world of fantasy?

 

by william_wraithe
11-22-07
House on Haunted Hill .... the sequel to the sequel that never wants to fucking die ....
and wish it would.

 

by william_wraithe
11-22-07
Kangaroo Jack is back ....
OOOOH! WE love you kangaroo JacK!
Yeah, I loved the first one!
and he's not happy!!
Shit! Do you think he knows who put the exlax in his cookies last time?
G'day, MATES!

 

by william_wraithe
11-22-07
Who would win. the Easter Bunny or the Thanksgiving Turkey?
Give it up, Bird Fucker?
Did you just call me a bird fucker?
Yeah, got a problem with it? Whatcha gonna do, when the Bunny Man comes looking for you!
YAKKKA SENSEI DOUBLE RYU SHODOKON SHUI-NOKO!
We all know the Bird Fucker got his ass kicked that day, then stuffed, the cooked, then eaten ... Happy Thanksgiving.
What the fuck was that?
Well, it works on Street Fighter ... you know, say some fucked up shit and the other person dies?

 

Little did Greg know that this was the last thing he would ever see after his plastic army men retaliated from his abuse ....
CHAAAARGE!
AAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!
by william_wraithe, 11-22-07

 

by william_wraithe
11-22-07
Today we are on the set on the new Star Trek movie.... and we are attempting to interview someone who is actually in the movie....
Mr. Spock!? Is that you?! Are you in the new Star Trek Movie?! This is incredible!!
Ummm ... no. It would be illogical for me to be in the new Star Trek movies since I no longer want to play Spock.
What are you doing here, then?
I am trying to call a cab because I was kicked off the set for eating all of the cookies.

 

We all know the punchline to this one ... and it isn't funny.
by william_wraithe, 11-22-07

 

Afterwards ...
It's ok ... your dead. There are no cars up here ....you can stop jumping now.
by william_wraithe, 11-22-07

 

Being stranded on a desert island, Heathe knew it was time to search for some pleasure .... possibly bananas.
by william_wraithe, 11-22-07

 

by william_wraithe
11-22-07
The most annoying comic ever made ...
Hey, are you my twin?
I don't know, am I?
Do you like yellow?
I don't know, do I?
seriously.
Are you going to repeat my questions with a question every time?
I don't know, will I?

 

by william_wraithe
11-22-07
Things we never want to know ...
I got a boogar out ... yay for me!
Um ...
Can I help you?
Put in the bag and no one gets hurt!
now you know.
You want my boogar?
Yes, can I have it?

 

by william_wraithe
11-23-07
One day in rehab ... Captain Kirk let's it all out ....
And THEN ... he ...said to .. ME ... dammit JIM ... I'm a doctOR ... not a hemO .. GlObin!
Christ, not again ... I swear to all that is holy I will kill myself if I have to listen to this shit again.
3 hours later ...
Blah blah blah blah blah ...
I could kill him right now and no one would blame for it ...
Little did Kirk know it would be his last show in rehab.
Captain's Log .... Stardate 612355.7 1/2 .... I AM ... COmmUnicAting ... with ... A ...friend! HE ... wants to KNOW if he CAN ... take me out!
I am so going to choke you with your starfleet regulation blankets tonight.

 

by william_wraithe
11-23-07
What really happens when you call Bloody Mary ...
WTF?!
It is I, Bloody Dave ... I have come to haunt you!
Um .... I asked for Bloody Mary.
Please hold as we try to communicate with your tortured soul ... we appreciate your business, so please stay on the line .... a representative will be with you shortly ... thank you.
Now you know ...
Well, you're shit out of luck .... she's busy and I am the only one available!

 

by william_wraithe
11-23-07
Guess what playing video games for two weeks straight does to your mind?
Bill-eeeeeeee!
???
Did you just say something to me, picture?
now you know ...
Noooooooooo!

 

by william_wraithe
11-23-07
Once again, they found where Britney left her baby ...
Mamma?
K-Fed?
it wasn't a pretty sight.
Paparazzi?

 

by william_wraithe
11-23-07
Did you ever wonder what happened to the Great Pumpkin after the Charlie Brown Special?
Linus, it's been 35 years, man! Please, I am begging you to return me to the pumpkin patch!
I can't ...
Why the hell not?!!!
Now you know ...
My wife says she is going to make you into a Great Pumpkin pie ....
(gasp)

 

by william_wraithe
11-23-07
One day Osama Bin Ladin woke up in the Matrix ... and came face to face with God.
Ok, who in Allah are you?
That's pretty funny ... I didn't know you had a sense of humor.
Due to the explicit graphic nature, we could not show the next three panels due to unknown wrath.
No, really .... who are you?

 

by william_wraithe
11-23-07
For 20 years, Mr. Laugherty tracked Frosty the Snowman ..... trying to find out the truth of where he had gone.
Ha, HA! I found you at last Frosty ... you really didn't melt away after all!
Eh?
Please! You must come back to my hometown! We will make Christmas cheery and festive again!
???
He also found out why Frosty really disappeared that fateful Christmas Eve ...
Look pal, last time I visited the city, some little bastards put a corn cob pipe up my ass. You are on your own....

 

by william_wraithe
11-23-07
A game of cat and mouse down in Crystal Lake ....
Cha-cha-cha ...
???
????
Stop! What are you DOING!
Little did Larry know that it would be only three more frames until his death ....
Ah-Ah-AHHH!
????

 

Nothing like Time and a bowl of fish to make you wonder what the fuck life is all about....
by william_wraithe, 11-23-07

 

by william_wraithe
11-23-07
One fine morning at Mit Romney's house ...
I am here for the soul of Mit Romney ... there is nor running, no hiding, and no drinking coffee...
Huh? You're joking right?
Sorry, no ... I am really Death.
You're joking right? Hilary must have put you up to this, huh? Got some little catch phrase to say like "damn, I got punked!" Right?
shit is going to hit the fan ... kind of like Romney's campaign.
Don't even think about it ... you can fool the public, but that shit ain't gonna work with me ... jeez.
You know, I forgot something in the kitchen, be right back!

 

All of those years of not being able to join any reindeer games finally made Rudolph crack ...
Rudolph with your nose sooooo .... WHAT THE FUCK?!!!
Do come in, Santa!
by william_wraithe, 11-23-07

 

Joey finally admitted he had crabs....
by william_wraithe, 11-24-07

 

by william_wraithe
11-24-07
Santa was in his happy place ...
I am in my happy place ...
Santa was still in his happy place ...
I am in my happy place ...
Now Santa will never leave his happy place ....
Now how in the hell do I get out of my happy place?

 

Sent to prison for life, Mr. Paperclip devises a plan of escape .... but try as he might, no plan comes to mind.
There has to be an obvious route for escape! Think, man, think! How can I possibly escape from this prison?!!
by william_wraithe, 11-24-07

 

by william_wraithe
11-25-07
One day Mr. Fish has a bad dream ...
What the Hell? I must be dreaming...
Yup, Mr. Fish, you are!
What the hell, you can read my mind?
Yes, I can ... this is a dream, remember...
What the hell is that for?
I am going to stick it way up your ass to read your temperature ...because your dream just turned into a nightmare!

 

by william_wraithe
11-25-07
The idea of a fun day by a gothic vampire ....
I am quasi normal ...
Now I am not ...
I am now normal again ...
and now I am not ...
Get the picture?
I am normal once again ....
Now I am not ...

 

by william_wraithe
11-25-07
An important message was being sent to the kids of the world through Mopey the Muppet ...
Well, kids ... I have an important message for you all ...and it is (inaudible because of phone)
Ring ring ring ring
but the phone keeps on ringing just when he is going to say his message to all the beloved children who watch his show ....
As I was saying, I have an important message ...and that is (inaudible because of phone)
RING RING RING!
which goes to say that his show was cancelled due to a huge misunderstanding of the message that was directed at the phone...
I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!
silence

 

Another misunderstanding goes awry ...
Hey, buddy, got any ice you can spare for my beer?
by william_wraithe, 11-25-07

 

by william_wraithe
11-25-07
Ever wonder what happens to people who never return their games back to Blockbuster?
Answer #1 ...
glub ... glub ... glub
Answer # 2 ...
It really pisses me off that someone keeps the games that I want to rent!

 

by william_wraithe
11-25-07
How did the Mormons get their Religion?
Hello, Jedadiah!
What the Fuck?!
I am a sign for you to start a religion. One that gives you the right to have 7 wives, drink too much alcohol, and then worship me, the Fiery Salamander!
Now you know.
Ok, I'll bite ... it does sound liek a good idea.

 

by william_wraithe
12-21-07
One day downtown ...
I told you not to try and fucking eat me, asshole!
Whaaat?!!
You created a fucking accident, homo-plantus!
Big Deal!
It's like that fucking joke! What goes through a bug's mind on impact after hitting the windshield of a car? Give up?
IDK, his ass?

 

by william_wraithe
12-21-07
What really happened on the riverbed with Sam and Gollum....
Hey, Buddy. What ya got there?
Um .. it is nothing, precious.
No, really. What ya got there?
Seriously, it is NOTHING! GOLLUM ...GOLLUM ...
Now you know .... and you hate it, don't you? LOL
NO! REALLY! WHAT .... IS ....IN ... YOUR ... HAND, YOU CREEPY LITTLE BASTARD!
Uh ... ok. It is just a fish. Happy?!! (my precious!)

 

by william_wraithe
12-21-07
The Devil went down to the county morgue, he was looking for a soul to reap.
Where can that dead fucker be!!!???
Shhhh!
He was in a bind, cuz he couldn't really find, that soul he wanted to eat!
FUCKER?!!!!
IS HE GONE?!
He picked up his pitch fork and cursed his fucking luck ... cuz now he'd have to go Wendy's, and spend a lousy buck!
I CAN SMELL YOUR TACO BREATH, DOG FACE!

 

by william_wraithe
12-21-07
Wanna know why Burger King had that hoax on TV?
Mr. Burger King ... I want to ask you a question...
Shoot, little kid.
Um ... did you really get rid of the Whopper at Burger King?
Well, let me put it this way... no, it was a hoax. It was only to see if valued customers would freak out, piss their pants, and then riot the store killing everyone inside.
Now you know ...
Why?
That's a good question, my boy. I think that Burger King just wanted some attention because everyone was going to Wendy's more often.

 

by william_wraithe
12-21-07
Ever wonder what it's really like for a person who quits smoking for only three days?
Hiiiiiiiiii - Deeeeee - Hoooooooo, DAVE!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! The cigarettes found me!
Bet your thinking of toking on my tail pipe, aren't ya, big boy?! Yep, you can smell the nicotine now can't ya?!
Please God! Puh-leeeease! Make it go away! (sob)
Now you know .... not to ever start smoking.
Bet you wished you had bought that pill now, don't you Dave?!!! Smell the aroma! I can hear the little nicotine demons in your brain, dave! SMOKE ME! SMOKE ME!
AGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

 

by william_wraithe
12-21-07
When the world dies ... who will be left?
This just in! Mankind has just killed planet Earth! It is no longer safe to live here!
Figures...
Global warming has resulted in ripping away the atmosphere! We only have days left to live!
Dumb asses ...
What are we to do?!!!
Die, I guess. Man isn't the only intelligent life in the universe. Fuck it, I think i am going to go sip on my amaretto nut daiquiris. See ya, suckers!

 

by william_wraithe
12-21-07
Have you ever wondered if prison is a bad place to go?
Dear, diary ... prison life isn't to bad, I guess ...
it has only been 3 days and I still have twenty to life to serve... I guess I was pretty lucky in getting a single cell .. by myself?
CREEEEEEEK! SLAM!
Now you know .... never to go to prison.
Fuck!
Top bunk, or bottom bunk, buddy?

 

by william_wraithe
12-21-07
They say that Mediums are like phone calls to the dead ...
BRRRRRING! BRRRRING!
Sometimes they get an answer ...
BRRRRING! BRRRRING! BRRRINNNG! CLICK!
And sometimes they get the answering machine ....
YOU HAVE REACHED THE AFTER-LIFE, BUT NO ONE WAS ABLE TO ANSWER YOUR CALL AT THIS TIME. PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AT THE BEEEP, AND SOMEONE SHOULD GET BACK TO YOU! BEEEEEEEEEP!

 

by william_wraithe
12-21-07
Ever wonder what insane people think about when they are all alone in their cells?
Heeeey! It's Billy! Hiya Billy!
Shut up you little cock knockers!
Heeeey! Don't you love us no more? We are your ooooonly friends in the WHOLE fucking world, man!
Yeah ... if it weren't for you fuck nuts, I wouldn't be in this insane asylum!
Now you know ...
Nobodeeeeee said that friendships were perfect! We are together and that is all that matters, right? Now be a good little bitch and gives us A HUG!!!
GUAAAAAAARDS!

 

by william_wraithe
12-21-07
After 20 years of being under water, Jason finally gets to dry land .... on a remote island.
I wish I had someone to talk to ...
and like a Cast Away Movie rip-off, makes a friend he can talk with about all of his killing ....
and uh then, there was this one I pretty much skewered with a ham bone ..
That is fucking sick ... I thought I had seen a life raft somewhere?
which pretty much ends in disaster, because Jason's true nature takes over ... thus ended the life of Jason's only friend.
Kill! Kill! Kill!
Buddy! Jason! Whatcha doing Man!

 

by william_wraithe
12-21-07
Bob was a man searching for truth .... so he travelled to a remote region to ask a wise man the meaning of life....
Oh, holy wise man of the boonies! I have come in search of an answer!
Bob never got his answer ... because all that travelling caused a heart attack ...
Yes, Yes! Ask me any - ting!
What ... is ... the .... meaning .... OF .... AKKK!
Coffee was never a good thing to drink ... and that is the meaning of life.
The meaning of AKKKK! You come over here 20,000 miles and all you can ask me is what is the meaning of AKKK!!?? GET UP! LEAVE MY VILLAGE DUMBASS!
AAAAK!

 

by william_wraithe
12-21-07
Oops, I did it again ... was becoming more popular for losing her children, than her number one songs ...
Baby!? Baaaaabeee? This ain't funny y'all! Where is my BABY!???!!!
I'm right here, momma!
Once again, the baby is left all by it's lonesome self ...
Hey y'all .... has anyone seen my baby?!!! I can't find it, again!
Momma?
The Truth is sad sometimes ...
Did y'all see my baby somewhere? I could've swore I left my baby here, somewhere ...shoot!
I am your baby, momma!

 

The World According To Gumby.
Martha, lock the door! We got Gumby all to ourselves now!Remember, he's made of clay which means we can make him any size we wish!
Hey, what's with your friend locking the door? Why are you looking at me like that? Why is your friend getting nekkid!?
by william_wraithe, 1-15-08

 

The World According To Gumby.
Martha, lock the door! We got Gumby all to ourselves now!Remember, he's made of clay which means we can make him any size we wish!
Hey, what's with your friend locking the door? Why are you looking at me like that? Why is your friend getting nekkid!?
by william_wraithe, 1-15-08

 

The World According To Gumby.
Martha, lock the door! We got Gumby all to ourselves now!Remember, he's made of clay which means we can make him any size we wish!
Hey, what's with your friend locking the door? Why are you looking at me like that? Why is your friend getting nekkid!?
by william_wraithe, 1-15-08

 

The World According To Gumby.
Martha, lock the door! We got Gumby all to ourselves now!Remember, he's made of clay which means we can make him any size we wish!
Hey, what's with your friend locking the door? Why are you looking at me like that? Why is your friend getting nekkid!?
by william_wraithe, 1-15-08

 

by william_wraithe
3-30-08
Oh, great fucking pumpkin, grant me my wish! If you can hear me, appear!
Yeah, and what do you wish for?
I wish to be different than all the rest of these primates!
Um......
???
You sure you need my help?

 

by william_wraithe
3-30-08
Always wonder where Frankensein went to when he died?
Am I in Heaven or Hell?
Uh, Well ...
Come on, I can take it ... really!
Well, you are not in Heaven and you are not in Hell.
Where am I then?
You are in the used parts section of the Cosmos.

Showing page 3.

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