All comics by 100Faces

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by 100Faces
3-08-08
I can see you there.
No, you can't.
Hey aren't you Mr. Ashby, the manager? What's that disguise for? Trying to catch shoplifters?
Uhm ... no Mrs. Hofmann.
Or trying to secretly peep into the changing rooms again?
You don't see me, do you?

 

by 100Faces
3-09-08
This is the worst day of my life. Someone had stolen my car, so I was late for work.
Mr. Hudson didn't want to hear about it and fired me at once. Back home I found that the cat was dead and my boyfriend gone.
Guess it takes just one little unfriendly remark by a total stranger and I'll kill myself.
Hey fatty, Halloween's over.
I need to start thinking before I say things ...
Don't worry! Unless they don't manage to halt that train before it's running over her, she'll get over it. ----------------- --------------------------- --------------------------- ---- No, she won't.

 

by 100Faces
3-10-08
Dear Jackass! You haven't sent the last chain letter to any of your stupid friends. This is our last warning.
If you moron ignore it again, something bad will happen to you and your imbecilic family. This time you hope-fully know what to do. Sincerely, Mr. X.
I'd throw it into the trashcan but they seem to know me and my family really well.

 

by 100Faces
3-11-08
What about this nerd contest you've been telling me about? They're giving away 1,000 bucks to the freakiest guy?
Yeah, can you imagine? And I own the world's largest collection of Flash Gordon action figures and I've seen the series 23 times.
So you think you've got a chance to win?
Are you kidding? I've got all the comics and I've spent 950 bucks on an autograph from Princess Aura, which might be a fake.
But I'm working 9 to 5 to pay for all that crap. So I guess it's gotta be me.
And just when I thought I could contribute just once to the household income ...

 

by 100Faces
3-11-08
I still think I could win this nerd contest. I've got the DVD editions of both the Flash Gordon TV series from the 1930's and the 1950's.
But ...
I know the first episode by heart in Japanese and Russian. I've read all three novels and I've been organising conven-tions since 1993.
Still ...
And I've voted for George Bush twice.

 

by 100Faces
3-11-08
So you think you'll win the nerd contest because you voted for George Bush twice?
Sure.
But 62,040,609 other people voted for Bush in 2004. Considering that 75% already did so in 2000 that leaves 46,530,458 people who voted ...
... twice for a president who's responsible for the deaths of 3983 US soldiers in Iraq.
See? Now we're down to 46,526,475.

 

by 100Faces
3-12-08
Why is there a talking monkey in a spacesuit standing in front of Santa's house next to an empty canary cage?
It's because the monkey set the canary free.

 

by 100Faces
3-15-08
Our new head of department is said to be quite a strange guy. I wonder when he'll turn up here.
There already.

 

by 100Faces
3-15-08
So you're granting me three wishes? Well, let's see. Hmm, I'll choose money, some loving and a plane.
Hey, that's not what I asked for! Ouuch, where's this sudden pain coming from?
Hahahahahahahaha!
Those humans really have strange wishes.
They sure do. By the way, have you already been to this ear specialist I was telling you about?

 

by 100Faces
3-15-08
I see they've put nails through your hands and feet, my Lord.
Yes, my son.
You know what? I'll help you, my Lord.
Thank you, my son.
See? It's so much better with those wall plugs and screws!
[sigh]

 

by 100Faces
3-15-08
If you call your teddy bear Jesus, you shall be tormented eternally in a fiery lake of burning sulfur.
Oh.
If you call your teddy bear Mohammed, boiling water shall be poured over your head and this will cause your internal organs to melt.
Yuk!
If you call your teddy bear Buddha, you shall never know the supreme state free of suffering and individual existence.
You know what, guys? I'll call him Satan and live happily in peace forever.

 

by 100Faces
3-15-08
Write the best comic in the world or I'll eat your soul.
Okay.
So I wrote the best comic in the world. Needless to say the beast was stunned.
As if there was any need to mention that.
This is not the greatest comic in the world, no. This is just a tribute.

 

by 100Faces
3-15-08
I'm confused.
No wonder. You're right in the middle of nowhere wearing a ridiculous outfit and talking to an imaginary goat.
You're an apparition. You're the, erm, holy goat?
Believe what you want.
Ah, that's better.
Don't forget you're still out of water.

 

by 100Faces
3-16-08
I love shooting people at random. It gives me a feeling of potency and power.
Killing innocent people compensates for the lack of control I have over my own life.
Like being placed in a strange town by an idiot hitting the random comic layout button.

 

by 100Faces
3-16-08
Want a banana, bro?
Leave me alone! I'm not your brother.
Hey, just because you don't believe in evolutionary theory is no excuse for being rude, bro.
I just want no banana, that's it.
Don't change subjects, bro. By the way, here on this deserted island your creationism is just as useless as my Darwinism. Neither will your daddy come to the rescue nor will I grow wings and fly away.
Guess you're right. I just prefer coconuts.

 

by 100Faces
3-16-08
Now what kind of silly talk is that? All I wanted you to do is take me to your leader.
Shhht.
And now we're in this ice cave and there's no sign of anything like a leader.
Shhht.
And don't give me that stupid shhht-bullshit all the time. Is this your leader's home or not?
Ah at last! Avalanche's finally coming. Byeeeee!

 

by 100Faces
3-17-08
A Manhattan pub banned the song "Danny Boy" saying it's overplayed and depressing and the lyrics were written by an Englishman. Most of us however don't care.
Oh Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling ...
... from glen to glen, and down the mountainside.
The summer's gone, and all the roses falling.
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow ...

 

by 100Faces
3-17-08
Wow, Jesus is standing right in our doorway. Guess this is metaphorical somehow.
I just can't figure it out. Does it mean I shall stay in forever or take him with me everywhere I go?
Hey, Joe! Will you help me get that fucking cross into the house?
Or grandma has been teleshopping again.

 

by 100Faces
3-17-08
Rudolph? Where's Santa?
Oh, he's kicked the bucket.
You mean ... but that's terrible!
Yes, he's turned up his toes.
And so I kicked this damn water bucket. I never thought I'd break my toes. Doctor says I shall turn them up.

 

by 100Faces
3-17-08
The two prisoners are ready for execution, sir.
Thank you, sergeant. Ask them what their last wish is and then take them to the electric chair.
Hmmm, I guess I'd like to see the sunshine just one more time.
Last wish? That's easy! Play "Girl You Know It's True" by Milli Vanilli during my electrocution.
What? Erm, officer? Could I possibly change my wish? I just wanna be first, okay?
Uh uh uh I love you ... la la la, yes, you know it's true .... uh uh uh I love you ...

 

by 100Faces
3-17-08
They say you're running for presidency.
Not much of a talker, are ya?
Hey, you don't win elections by what you say but by the way you look.

 

by 100Faces
3-18-08
How's your candidacy going?
Oh great, thank you. I've already won Texas, Maryland, Iowa, California and Oregon.
What do you mean, you've won? It's about getting the majority of votes, you know.
Are you saying eating up the governors doesn't count?

 

by 100Faces
3-18-08
I've already won five states and Greenland will be the sixth.
But Greenland's not in America.
Oh, but the Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburgh, Pine Street in Seattle, the Walmart Store in Redlands, Tulsa International Airport and Warwick, RI are, right?
Yes, they're in America, I guess.
See? I told you it's my looks!
You mean you've won the pre-elections in all these places?

 

by 100Faces
3-18-08
Mr. Who?
Mr. Bush, the telegraph's from Mr. Bush, the reigning president.
Ah yes, thank you. Now read this! He's congratulating me on winning the Three Rivers Stadium, Pine Street, the Walmart Store in Redlands, Tulsa International Airport and Warwick, RI.
But ...
He adds he didn't know these were all states, but I could be governor in all five of them if I want.
The good thing about your candidacy is that it can't get any worse.

 

by 100Faces
3-18-08
Have you ever considered running for vice presidency?
No. Is that an offer?
You bet it is. My campaign manager said next to your - quote "ugly visage" unquote - I'll look even more handsome on TV. It's all tactics, you know.
You have a campaign manager?
Negotiating that vice presidency proposal of mine?
Hi, Larry.

 

by 100Faces
3-18-08
Our team is finally complete, I guess. It's me, my campaign manager and you as candidate for vice-presidency.
Mmh.
You think we've forgotten anything? What more could we possibly need?
Mmh, maybe voters?
Oops. I think I've eaten him up.
[sigh] Never mind, I'm sure you'll find another one.

 

by 100Faces
3-19-08
Sorry to disturb you, sir, but the poll results are in. Bad news, it's still Obama, Clinton and McCain in front.
Those polls are just a complete waste of paper. I guess I'll eat them up.
How on earth could eating up the poll results help? Oh, you mean eating up the other candidates, right?
Yep, that'll put me straight on top.
It's not quite as easy. The poll results see you only in 798th position, only two points ahead of Mrs. Kapersky, my cleaning lady.

 

by 100Faces
3-19-08
It's election day and I'm ready. I'm cleverer than Bush and better-looking than Nixon.
But this is like saying you're better at cosmology than Andre Agassi and a better tennis player than Stephen Hawking.
See? Both of them have made millions. My humble aim is to become president.
Humble aim? The president of the United States is the most powerful man in the world.
What? Being the president of the Three Rivers Stadium, Pine Street, the Walmart store in Redlands, Tulsa Int. Airport and Warwick, RI makes me the most powerful man in the world?
But sir, these are only five states. [sigh]. What am I saying?

 

by 100Faces
3-19-08
Now tell me, have I won?
Unfortunately no, sir. You must go and congratulate your opponent on his victory.
But ... but ... you're a bug!
Yes, it's true what you've always said. Looks are everything and above all bugs outnumber you people by the millions.
But this is against the constitution! You've already been the president for the past eight years.
Damn! I always thought my disguise had been good enough.

 

by 100Faces
3-19-08
Bush's candidacy as a bug has been declared invalid due to his being president for 8 years already. Also his whole presidency has ...
... been annulled. As a bug he was never allowed to run. So Al Gore and John Kerry were made presidents retrospectively. So you're the new ...
Being president is so great!
... president and Al Gore has to return his Nobel Peace Prize because as the president he could have fought global warming more effectively.

 

by 100Faces
3-20-08
Wow! David Copperfield is really the greatest. I'm thinking of one out of 6 cards and just after a few seconds only my card's gone.
It's a simple trick. All cards are replaced but because you're only concentrating on one, you don't notice.
No, David Copperfield is the greatest, the greatest, the greatest!!! And he's really got telepathic powers.
Oh my God. Why do I have to put up with this superstitious nonsense?
Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come ...

 

by 100Faces
3-22-08
I didn't repeat what someone was saying and so I lost my super powers.
I've got no idea how I can get them back.
I don't even have an idea what my super powers are really.

 

by 100Faces
3-22-08
It's late already but stripcreator is such a great site.
Hi, call me 100.
Tobor will cornhole you!
Them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves.
I must have fallen asleep right here at my desk. What a weird dream. 100Faces, Tobor, the inside joke cowboy and a background by Boring.
You're a bookstore, aintcha?

 

by 100Faces
3-22-08
And so I lost all my super powers.
But that ain't so bad, man.
Why isn't that so bad?
'Cause you're free. You can do whatcha want and not care about those damn super powers.
But I wanna be a superhero like you, Drink-til-You-Throw-up-and-always-Make-the-Truth-Look-Simpler-than-it-Is-Man!
Will you excuse me for a moment, Captain?

 

by 100Faces
3-24-08
Doctor says I shall quit drinking so much coffee.
Oh another meteor!Doctor also says the caffeine might affect the quality of my sperms.
But it sure helps against that damn cold spell.

 

by 100Faces
3-24-08
Tell me more about those humans, Dad!
Well, most of them were omnivores. The biggest of them was the homo sapiens sapiensis. But even he was no larger than an ordinary fern leaf.
But his brain was about six times larger than ours. And now go to sleep, Rexie.

 

by 100Faces
3-24-08
It hurts so good.
What are you doing? Is this some kind of s&m practice?
Nay, I'm just trying to win RCD 18.
Hmm.
It hurts so good.
It hurts so good.

 

by 100Faces
3-25-08
Hi Melvin.
So, Chen, what are you doing in my backyard?
I've just come to say hi and bury the hatchet.
Bury the hatchet in my bed of award-winning roses you're standing in?
So why are you digging an even larger hole in the middle of it?
Bury the jackass.

 

by 100Faces
3-25-08
It hurts so good.
What do you mean, it hurts so good?
Ever noticed how our popularity's sinking these days? But it's not death that people fear the most, it's the pain!
So what?
It hurts so good - it's my new slogan.
Yeah, like terminal skin cancer, an electric shock of 2000 volts, death of thirst, AIDS or ebola - you name it!

 

by 100Faces
3-26-08
Hi Melvin.
So, Chen, what are you doing in my backyard?
I'm looking for that UFO that landed somewhere around here.
Don't give me that aliens-are-trying-to-steal-our-technology-bullshit again, Chen.
Hi folks. I just can't figure out how that damn toaster works. Aren't you guys keeping a manual?

 

by 100Faces
3-27-08
Yeah baby! Don't stop, yes! Aaah!
Mummy, Mummy! Daddy's on TV.
Yeah! That's wonderful! Oh, oh, yes!
And Auntie Helen, too!
A little later ...
Helloooo! Anybody home? Where the fuck is the TV? Hello?

 

by 100Faces
3-28-08
Best coffee in the world, Bill.
Thanks, Bob. Got a cigarette for me?
I just can't understand you nicotine and caffeine junkies. Can't you see what you're doing to your bodies? Anyway, I'm off for a bike ride.
A couple of hours later ...
How was your bike ride?
There's nothing like a little exercise. All I can say is it hurts so good. You should try for yourselves.

 

by 100Faces
3-30-08
Comic writer 100Faces meets evil Punbug ...
Hahaha, 100Feces!
Aaaah, an insult! Captain Repeat to the Rescue!
Captain Repeat would be ready but he lost his super powers ...
Here I come, most annoying superhero ever!
Captain Repeat rushes in and tries to help but all his efforts are in vain ...
Hahaha, Captain Defeat!

 

by 100Faces
3-30-08
Captain Defeat is still trying to get his super powers back ...
Hey, I heard that!
Oops! Sorry, Captain!

 

by 100Faces
3-30-08
Desperately trying to get his super powers back, Captain Repeat contacts double-agent Trevor ...
This is my latest invention. It's called the Resurrectionator. You step in, get killed, and come out alive again after 60 minutes.
And you think this could also restore all my super powers?
Absolutely, Captain! But I also have to tell you there are side effects, which ...
I don't want to hear about any side effects. Let's get it over with.
One hour later ...
Are you new here?
Are you new here? [It worked, but it feels different somehow.]

 

I told you I was good.
The car's stolen, I've got bruises all over my body but I admit it was worth it.
by 100Faces, 3-30-08

 

by 100Faces
3-31-08
Schopenhauer interprets death as the aim and purpose of life. He maintains that to live is to suffer, that the triumph of death is inevitable and that existence is a constant dying.
Heidegger regards mortality as man's defining characteristic. Dasein individuates itself by choosing among its possibilities. Yet with every choice, it annuls all other possibilities.
Have you had a little too much to drink?
It rather feels like I had much too little.

 

by 100Faces
3-31-08
Captain Repeat regained his super powers but was transformed into a squirrel.
Here comes Captain Repeat, most annoying superhero ever.
Oh my dear, what a cute chipmunk!
Oh my dear, what a cute chipmunk!
Here comes Captain Repeat, cutest superhero ever.

 

by 100Faces
4-01-08
Wow!
Daddy, Daddy! Quick! In our backyard there's ...
Not now, I'm watching TV. They say aliens have landed. Go and play with those earthworms you've found. Gee whiz, they look awful!
Hmm.
People say if you cut them in halves, both ends live on, but in fact it's just the front part that survives.

 

by 100Faces
12-29-08
It's amazing how fast children grow.
You bet it is.
My son has grown another foot in just three months.
Oh really? Mine two.

Showing page 4.

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