All comics by Benco

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by Benco
10-25-02
Devil May Cry is the most satisfying game ever
IT SURE IS
Apparently DMC2 is 3 times longer and you can play as a female character
:OOOO SEX!
THAT SOUNDS BIG AND BEAUTIFUL
THREE TIMES LONGER? SEX? BIG AND BEAUTIFUL? FEMALE? IM HAVING TROUBLE DISTINGUISHING #WTP FROM MY DALNET WINDOW NOW :(

 

by Benco
10-26-02
ZZTAE IS BECOME DEATH, DESTROYER OF ZZT WORLDS
I've lost very little data to ZZTAE, and most of it was pressing 'H'
Tom I never lost any for over a year. It waits till you're complacent
Then it STRIKES
FUNK THAT PART WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY HARD TO PROGRAM

 

by Benco
10-26-02
NOTICE THE SHIRT I AM WEARING
is that a homestar runner shirt?
YES!
DID YOU BUY IT?
NO, I STOLE IT FROM THE INTERNET

 

by Benco
10-27-02
MARKLU CAN ME AND CYQ PLZ BE ZZTPLANET ADMINS PLZ PLZ? CYQ WILL MAKE ZZTAE: ZZTPLANET EDITION WONT YOU CYQ
It's like regular ZZTAE except half of the options just lead to a blank screen
AND YOU CAN VOTE ON HOW MUCH YOU LIKE IT AT THE START
YOU VOTE AT THE START, AND THEN IT CRASHES
Well, on ZZTPLANET - they say this: IT's under construction.
MORE LIKE UNDER THE CONTROL OF AN INEPT GROUP OF CHIMPANZEES

 

by Benco
10-27-02
©2003 zztplanet.co.uk, All Rights Reserved. :O WOW ZZTPLANET IS FROM THE FUTURE!
Actually, it means this: It's not done until 2003, therefore, not (c) 2002.
SO ACTUALLY WE CAN COPY THE CONTENT UNTIL 2003 WHEN IT TAKES EFFECT
Yes, but it will be illegal pretty soon.
As we can then prove that we've had it up on our site longer (copyright 2002) and you'll have to take it off yours
Quick set z2's copyright to (c) THE DAWN OF TIME so they can't nick our stuff!

 

by Benco
10-27-02
As the CGI scripts, I read, it is pretty advanced. While most communes are made of all these smart teenagers... Tyrranous is a real professonal.
Mark unless it's using Microsoft-quality CMorris code, I know at least five IRL people who could crack it wide open
Crack the pass, transfer the files
POP THE FIREWALL, SHIFT THE SERVER LOOP
Sooner or later, I am sending legal action.
LEGAL FORCE MARKLU FOR MATCHING SERVICE MILLIONAIRE FIGHTER

 

by Benco
10-27-02
!rules
Yes, I want a set of rules for this channel.
THE FIRST RULE OF #WTP IS YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT #WTP THE SECOND RULE OF #WTP IS YOU DO *NOT* TALK ABOUT #WTP
THE THIRD RULE OF #WTP IS YOU MUST HAVE RAMPANT GAY SEX AT LEAST TWICE A DAY
Why not?
EXACTLY!

 

by Benco
10-27-02
THE FOURTH RULE OF #WTP IS THAT PROFANITY SHALL BE DISALLOWED.
Well, that's what it shall be
AND IF YOU'RE NEW YOU HAVE TO RAPE SOME KIDDIES
CYQ WE WERE JUST EXPLAINING TO MARKLU HOW WE'RE GOING TO POP THE FIREWALL AND SHIFT THE SERVER LOOP
Pop my firewall, and change my server loop.
I LOVE IT WHEN YOU SPEAK DIRTY TO ME

 

by Benco
10-27-02
http://dexter.rocketjump.org/molly/frog.gif
Well, he diden't even put a copyright. I guess I can copy it.
Well, that's not how it goes.
It's the same with ZZTP.
OH TO BE IN THE HEAD OF MARK LU
FISH THERE'S PLENTY OF SPACE AVAILABLE!

 

by Benco
10-27-02
"My names Nickie.Im a 17 year old mommie to a beautiful 13 month old little girl.Im also 19 weeks pregnant with our latest - a boy!"
"Our meaning my husband.He's 19 years old and in the army.We've been together 3 years and we're currently stationed in Fort Bragg,NC."
DEAR NICKIE, YOU'VE RUINED YOUR FUCKING LIFE.
SINCERELY, GOD

 

by Benco
10-27-02
"19 of the biggest baddest water blocks rounded up and tested, just for you guys out there that like your action wet and heavily overclocked."
FREUD IS ROLLING IN HIS GRAVE

 

by Benco
10-27-02
I need money fast
I HAVE AN IDEA
What?
WELL YOU SEND ME £100 BY CHECK
And then?
AND THEN WHAT?

 

by Benco
10-27-02
I KNOW THIS GIRL WHO SKIPPED TWO GRADES
AND SHE'S WASTING IT ON ENGLISH AND PHILOSOPHY MAJORING
HAHAHAH PHILOSOPHY MAJOR
TELL HER THAT SHE CAN BE A WAITRESS WITH THAT UNDER HER BELT
"NOW, DID YOU CHOOSE THE PANCAKES WITH BACON, OR WAS IT FATE?!?!"

 

by Benco
10-27-02
wtf i just downloaded crono cross disc 2 from u and it dint work, y
UHH IT WAS 32KB, DIDN'T YOU THINK IT COULD'VE BEEN INCOMPLETE
ur a fuckin deceptive bastard ur banned for life from downloadin from me have a nice day dickhead!!!
UH OH I'M DOWNLOADING YOUR JAY-Z MP3S, BAD BOI
Downloading: aint_no_nigga_Jay-z.mp3
fuck u! ill hack u if u do that again!!!
...stop it

 

by Benco
10-27-02
YOU KNOW WHAT'LL BE NEAT ABOUT LIVING ON MY OWN?
Being able to run up and down the hallway naked but for a sock on your erect penis?
BEING ABLE TO DRINK STRAIGHT OUT OF THE MILK JUG
Oh.
Man, you need a better imagination.

 

by Benco
10-27-02
All of you, press 1 5 times in 5 lines if you are using IRC.
WE'RE ALL USING IRC AND WE ALL LOVE THE COCK
THIS IS SO TOTALLY BENCOMIC MATERIAL
Ye Yes
Thank you for your understanding.
One more thing, D_O, and you're on Ignore (very dishonorable)

 

by Benco
10-27-02
No more disorder in this channel, or I might leave, forever, and leave this boring.

 

by Benco
10-27-02
SO GUESS WHAT I'M GETTING SOON ... A BACKUP POWER SUPPLY
BUT HERE'S THE BEST PART!
I WILL MAKE PEOPLE RENT IT FROM ME ... WANT TO COOK YOUR FOOD? THAT'S $10
THAT'S DUMB YOU'RE DUMB
MY WHOLE COMMUNITY HAS A BIG BACKUP POWER SUPPLY SO IF ALL OF AMERICA'S POWER GOES OUT I'LL STILL HAVE POWER
THEN I WILL BE KING OF THE INTERNET

 

by Benco
10-28-02
Hey Hey Hey !! Yes I am MarkLuNY
THt wasn't funny
HAHAHAHA IT'S PATHETIC TO NOT BE LIKED
MORE PATHETIC TO BE PICKED ON ONLINE
BUT BY THE LOCAL LOSER? THAT'S RICH
Hahaha! what a day

 

by Benco
10-28-02
I like the joke.
DO YOU LIKE THE COCK
no I like the comic written by Benco. It is like so funny.
MARKLUNY WHY ARE YOU DISCRIMINATING AGAINST COCK
*Please explain cock

 

by Benco
10-28-02
oftentimes i'll be looking at porn and feel the urge for movies so i'll go on random filesharing programs and start downloading some
but by the time i orgasm the movies still aren't done and i delete all of the movies.
That happens to me too. You want to know what's worse?
I have a 2Meg/sec LAN connection.

 

by Benco
10-28-02
Madtom asys, Funk, that you are having a hard time using FTP without hacking.
Mark please readjust brain before attempting communication
Now, how do you expect to be able to do a real hack across a firewall, if you can't even use FTP without hacking?
madtom told me you put the ftp backwards and turned it around and then tried to resolve the conference

 

by Benco
10-28-02
MARKLU DO YOU LIKE PINK FLOYD
NO She sucks.
MARKLU PROBABLY THINKS PINK FLOYD IS LIKE BJORK OR SOMETHING
Pink Floyd is a ugly person.
get out mark!!!
YES MARK GET OUT OF TYRRANOUS' CHANNEL

 

by Benco
10-28-02
Mark LU you are a prepubescent paper boy who has to much time to play with other
In my school, there is no desks.
Just big tables.
Stools.
WELL THIS IS CERTAINLY A BATTLE OF THE HALF-WITS

 

by Benco
10-28-02
A long time ago, they say I won't live much over 10 years old.
TUT TUT MARK LU MOST PEOPLE WITH DOWN SYNDROME HAVE AN AVERAGE LIFESPAN
BUT IF THIS IS TRUE, I'D LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST
YOU'VE ONLY GOT 3 YEARS LEFT

 

by Benco
10-28-02
_ry0suke_ don't come to my house please, that's that. Thank you.
SORRY MARK I CAN'T MAKE THAT PROMISE
AND I'M AFRAID I'M UNSTOPPABLE
_ry0suke_, could you please avoid my house?
MARK HACK MY CAR

 

by Benco
10-28-02
I got a trap set up outside the dorr.
According to my calculations it will make you trip out the car.
And send a hammer into the window of the car...
When you go in the door, ytou will trip and band you head, and die.
MARKLU YOU'RE AN IDIOT

 

by Benco
10-28-02
WELL MARK CONSIDER THIS: WHAT IF I COME IN THROUGH A SIDE WINDOW
I don't have a side window. It has locks.
OKAY NOW YOU'RE JUST LYING

 

by Benco
10-28-02
WE COULD BUILD A FACTORY
AND MAKE MISERY
If you built a factory, my neighbors will notice.

 

by Benco
10-28-02
In this neighborhood, all neighbors are good friends.
two of them is a police.
24/7 duty
Mark we'll just wait till they die of exhaustion

 

by Benco
10-30-02
WHAT DOES "PHONING" SOMETHING MEAN
I MEAN JESUS YOU CALL A PHONE. DO YOU TURKEY A TURKEY?
You call somone VIA a phone
Crank it's an accepted colloquialism
HA HA CRANK
YOU PROBABLY THINK A FORT NIGHT IS FORTY NIGHTS IN FORT KNOX

 

by Benco
10-30-02
WHO ISN'T A TOKEN BLACK KID NOWADAYS?
PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE HERE
THERE AREN'T ANY BLACK PEOPLE ON IRC
THEY DON'T USE COMPUTERS, THEY JUST STEAL THEM AND MAKE LOW-QUALITY BLING BLING OUT OF THE PARTS

 

by Benco
10-30-02
My dad is a high clearence US necular saftey inspector. Clearence: Q. It's a US top secret.
Mark does he make the floors safe by cleaning them?
Does he put up those "DANGER! SLIPPERY SURFACE!" signs?
Is your dad saving the earth from the scum under the sink?

 

by Benco
10-30-02
MY DAD EARNS JACK SHIT EVERY YEAR AND I EARN MY OWN WAY THROUGH LIFE
YEAH YOUR DAD'S LIKE A PROFESSIONAL LOSER
DOES HE MAKE YOUR CHRISTMAS GIFTS FOR YOU?
"SON, I KNOW IT MEANS A LOT TO YOU, SO HERE'S A COMPUTER"
"DAD THAT'S A BLOCK OF WOOD SAWED AND SANDED IN THE SHAPE OF A MONITOR"
"YES, I WORKED VERY HARD FOR IT"

 

by Benco
10-30-02
JUST BECAUSE IVE LEFT IS NO REASON NOT TO PUT ME IN THE COMIC
...YOU'VE LEFT?
YOU'VE LEFT IN THE SAME WAY CRANK LEAVES
IT'S GOTTEN SO THAT HE DOESN'T EVEN FINISH SAYING "COMMUNITY" BEFORE HE COMES BACK

 

by Benco
10-30-02
I'VE SEEN SOME PRETTY GHETTO FORD TAURUSES
SO GHETTO, THAT I HAVE TO JUMP FROM THE DRIVE-BY SHOOTING OCCURRING BECAUSE OF THE CAR LIKE MCGUYVER
MCLAREN F1S ONLY GO UP TO LIKE 220 AND THAT GUY WHO FUCKS WITH CORVETTES CAN GET THEM UP TO 230 ON A GOOD DAY
CAR GEEKS ARE NO BETTER THAN COMPUTER GEEKS
AND AT LEAST MY HANDS AREN'T GREASE-STAINED
JUST STICKY

 

by Benco
11-04-02
nadir's a fat fattie :(
DEXTER IS LIKE SHORT OR SOMETHING
dave2: i'm 6'1" :X
which is like eighteen meters or something. i don't know.
I MEANT SHORT IN THE PANTS

 

by Benco
11-05-02
FIREWORKS ARE SO GREAT
THEY GO LOTS OF COLORS AND THEN THEY STOP GOING COLORS
AND THEN YOU SET FIRE TO MORE FOR 3 HOURS UNTIL YOU'VE RUN OUT OF MONEY
THE BEST THING ABOUT FIREWORKS IS THEIR NAMES
SUPER SKY EXTREME AERO FIREFLY ATTACK JUMPING CENTIPEDE
I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK

 

by Benco
11-05-02
THERES ONLY 3 TYPES OF FIREWORKS ANYWAY
'ROCKET' 'TRAFFIC LIGHT' AND 'THING THAT CANT DECIDE IF ITS A ROCKET OR A TRAFFIC LIGHT BUT GOES EVERYWHERE AND NORMALLY HITS A FEW FAMILY MEMBERS SO FISH DOESNT MIND'

 

by Benco
11-05-02
Fish, can you give us a final thought on the subject of fireworks?
YES FUNK, AND MY THOUGHT IS
STOP MAKING BENCOMIC AND GIVE ME HEAD

 

by Benco
11-05-02
MY SEMEN SMELLS LIKE BLEACHY-CHLORINE
That was my excuse for jacking off in the swimming pool
"But I thought it would make the pool cleaner :( :( :("
THAT WAS YOUR COURT DEFENCE? YOU COULD HAVE CLAIMED IT WAS AN INVOLUNTARY SPASM
An involuntary spasm that made me hold a 6 year old underneath me for the duration?

 

by Benco
11-05-02
ALRIGHT LIVEJOURNAL FRIENDS IM KILLING MYSELF NOW! PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS TELLING ME NOT TO!
SEE YOU TOMORROW FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF "IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF"
[CURRENT MUSIC: NIN]

 

by Benco
11-06-02
So anyway, I trust you've mailed my phone charger?
YES
How much did it cost you? I'll post you a cheque tomorrow
FINAL POSTAGE WAS 250 POUNDS
Well in that case I'll just send you a photocopy of my buttocks
:o YOU'RE THAT HEAVY?

 

by Benco
11-06-02
OK SO I INSTALL THE SIMS ONLINE RIGHT
I CLEAR OFF 1.6 GIG AND INSTALL IT
AND THEN MY LAPTOP GOES OMG LOL NO
THEN IT DELETES IT =(
YOUR LAPTOP SOUNDS MUCH SMARTER THAN YOU

 

by Benco
11-06-02
I THINK YOU'RE TOTALLY SUCK
I THINK YOU'RE SICK WITH RETARD DISEASE HOHOH
..HO =(
I think you're sick with Mooseka. Recommendation: ban.
STAT

 

by Benco
11-07-02
HOW AWESOME WOULD IT BE TO COMMIT SUICIDE LEAVING FAMILY A NOTE ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER DONE EVER
DONUT I'M NOT SO BIG ON THE SUICIDE IDEA
RY0 THEN HERE'S A BETTER ONE, AND ONE I USUALLY FAVOR OVER SUICIDE
FAKING YOUR OWN DEATH
FAKING YOUR OWN DEATH HAS ALL THE BENEFITS OF SUICIDE, AS WELL AS SOME MORE REALLY FUCKING AWESOME PERKS, LIKE ATTENDING YOUR OWN FUNERAL IN DISGUISE AND SEEING HOW EVERYONE REACTS TO YOUR DEATH
BUHH HEY I'M TOM SAWYER

 

by Benco
11-09-02
I'M BISEXUAL BECAUSE I LIKE FUCKING THINGS. HELL, I HAVE SEX WITH PILLOWS
Donut that's omnisexual
DONUT IS PILLOWS ALL YOU'VE HAD SEX WITH?
NO THERE'S MY HAND. AND I MASTURBATE TO ALL KIND OF THINGS - A PILLOW DOESN'T TURN ME ON, BUT IT'S FUCKABLE. MALES AND FEMALES TURN ME ON. AND COMPUTERS SOMETIMES. AND HENTAI!
YOU CYBERPUNK
I'M MORE OF A CYBERMISCREANT

 

by Benco
11-09-02
"[IJ] Quit being a smartass or you're gonig to find that ass in world of hurt, got that?"
IJ WANTS YOUR ASS
I THINK THE IRCOPS DESPERATELY WANT TO BE REAL COPS
IT SEEMED LIKE A POLICE BEATING VIDEO TO ME
ZAMROS THEY'RE NERDS WHO WANT TO BE COPS IN THE SOUTH IN 1955!
EVERY TIME THEY KILLED ME IT WAS LIKE A NIGHTSTICK TO THE HEAD

 

by Benco
11-09-02
FUNK CAN YOU BELIEVE IT AN ATHEIST CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS
actually, I celebrate (heres the atheist name for it) "National Present Giving Day"
GODEDERP YOU CELEBRATE "NATIONAL FUCKNUTS DAY" BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE
I'm bisexual

 

by Benco
11-09-02
I think I'm turning into a woman...
I just ate a whole box of Girl Scout thin mints because I'm depressed.
bisinfiniti eating girl scout foodstuffs does not make you a girl
selling it.. that's different.

Showing page 4.

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