All comics by BigEvilDan

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by BigEvilDan
9-13-01
y0, check 0ut my c0mic d00d!
Does it involve meaningless babble followed by one character catching fire?
Yeah, but...um...
For great justice!

 

by BigEvilDan
9-13-01
........................................................................................................................................
y0, check 0ut my c0mic d00d!
........................................................................................................................................
Does it involve meaningless babble followed by one character catching fire?
Yeah, but...um...er...I use a wacky Zero Wing quote.
........................................................................................................................................
y0, check 0ut l33t sith powers, d00d!

 

by BigEvilDan
9-13-01
Delivery for the Jerry Springer Show.
The white trash is here! Great!

 

by BigEvilDan
9-13-01
My dog ate the punchline.
Yum!

 

by BigEvilDan
9-13-01
...so the bartender says "We don't allow animals."
Well we certainly showed him.
Yup.

 

by BigEvilDan
9-13-01
Yes?
Hi! I'm here to talk about Jesus --
SLAM!
I'll never sell all of these.

 

by BigEvilDan
9-14-01
By not entering a title, you can prevent accidental submissions.
But this contest doesn't allow--

 

by BigEvilDan
9-14-01
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Go away.

 

by BigEvilDan
9-15-01
Wow, that altar boy has a hot ass...
Why thank you.

 

by BigEvilDan
9-15-01
Yeah, he does have a pretty nice arse.
I don't know. I kinda like the altar boy better.
Check out that arse. Third row, second seat from the left.
Now that's an arse!
DAMMIT! ISN'T ANYONE GOING TO COMMENT ON MY ARSE!?!

 

by BigEvilDan
9-15-01
Hey guys, I got comic 33333!
Sorry. It's geeky, but not colossal enough.

 

by BigEvilDan
9-15-01
Hi, I'm here to talk about the Church of Arse.
Go away!

 

by BigEvilDan
9-15-01
Guys, you can dig me out now. It's not funny anymore.

 

by BigEvilDan
9-16-01
Sir, that new "Church of Arse" is becoming quite popular.
Hah! They don't even have a symbol like me to inspire them. How popular could they be?
Well, actually....
Hey DexX, the statue is here!

 

by BigEvilDan
9-17-01
hi, i'm new here. do u liek my comics?
hi, i'm new here. do u liek my comics?
hi, i'm new here. do u liek my comics?
hi, i'm new here. do u liek my comics?
Holy shit! We're being invaded by the stupidious newbie clones from Mars!
Just give them each a nail and the problem will sort itself out.

 

by BigEvilDan
9-19-01
How is our evil scheme coming along, Second Banana?
Well sir, you never actually told me what it was. That makes the plan rather difficult to implement.
Drat, I was hoping you knew. You're supposed to be the details man in this operation.
Look on the bright side. If we can't remember it, what are the odds of Captain Crimesolver figuring it out?
Excuse me, have either of you seen a mad doctor with a cat and a deadly nuclear missile?
Nuclear missile! That's it! Good work, Cluckles.

 

by BigEvilDan
9-22-01
Hi, my name is Gabe. I'm new around here. Wanna play soccer?
Let's see. I don't have any FUCKING LIMBS, so I guess I'll have to say "kiss my ass".
I already did kiss your ass. You left her by the park bench. And I was thinking you could be the ball, turdmonkey.
With those little pansy legs, I doubt I'd notice, asswipe.
Ah, so many fond memories.
Good times, Gabe. Good times...

 

by BigEvilDan
9-24-01
So you want to be my assistant? I'm not really looking, so you'll have make me a deal.
Well I've memorized the bible from cover to cover, so I can easily find loopholes that will bag us some souls.
Really? Identify this quote: "And Saul cast the javelin; for he said, I will smite David even to the wall with it."
1 Samuel 18:11, King James Version. Also read as "Saul popped a cap on that bitch Dave's ass" in the New Ghetto version.
Wow, not many people know the New Ghetto version. Ever read the Book of Arse?
Read it? Hell, I live it!

 

by BigEvilDan
9-25-01
Hey! Cthulhu's dealing from the bottom of the fucking deck!
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone, Satan. Those five kings you had last round were NOT a legal hand!
I need to find a new poker group...

 

by BigEvilDan
9-28-01
ROBO-SAVIOUR SHOWS OFF HIS MAD COMIX SKILLZ
dO YOU LIEK TEH cOMIKS i MADE??!??!!!!111 tHEY R 1337 LIEK MEEEE!!!!!11111
gO AWAY U n00b! u suxx0r more than SuckyBoy81!!
gabe is 0wn3d by teh fire
DO NOT MOCK CYber-jesus!!!1 i 0wn u, biznach!!!11
gah!!!!!!11!1 teh fire it burns!!!1!11
Hey Dan, have you seen the rules for the latest comic? For a guy who does nothing but make fun of those comics, this should be...uh, Dan? Are you okay?
So dirty...must fight the evil...it will not consume me...TEH EV1L ROOLZ THIS FLESHBAG NOW!...no, must fight the evil...

 

by BigEvilDan
9-28-01
One day at the stadium...
Wow, there's a lot of people signing up for the Graviton Generating Cup this year. I wonder why?
It's the new "Donkey Powered Rotor Turbine" rule, I reckon. It puts a whole new spin on the game.

 

by BigEvilDan
9-28-01
jesus is on fire
ahh!!1 i m on fier!!!!111!!1
hahaha. u r 0wn3d!
so is asiangirl2
d00d, u r on fier too!!!!111
nooo!!!111 this is teh n00bs fault
so is the author of this strip, as penance for his crimes to humour
u r hot chick ha ha get it? hot!!!1 LOL
dont make me, uh, burn u more

 

by BigEvilDan
10-01-01
9:00 - Physics
Today's lab will cover the effects of torque on a metal rod.
TOBOR STUDY THIS FOR YEARS!!! THIS IS EASY!!!
11:00 - Argicultural Studies
RARR!!! TOBOR WILL WRANGLE YOU!!!
1:00 - Oriental Languages
Actually, he dropped this class.
Apparently we weren't going to cover translations for "cornhole".

 

by BigEvilDan
10-01-01
So how did you do on the Calculus exam?
I totally bombed it. Unlike you, of course.
What are you talking about? I got reamed anally on that exam.
You? You get A's in everything. You do nothing but study. What could have possibly happened to affect your grade that much?
TOBOR SORRY ABOUT CALCULUS EXAM. INTEGRATION MAKES TOBOR NERVOUS.
It's okay, Tobor. We all cope with stress in different ways.

 

by BigEvilDan
10-01-01
Hah! I am here to destroy you in yet another crappy comic.
I've learned something from my first 5000 encounters with you. I'm wearing a supercooled fireproof shirt.
You think that can stop me? Eat this!!
Hah! Your stupid Firebitch Telekentic Laser Powers or whatever the hell you have are usless against me.
Never underestimate my Icequeen Psycic Deathray Powers.
Brrr....

 

by BigEvilDan
10-01-01
Ah, my machine works! At this very moment we're moving into an alternate universe.
Cool. So everything is going to be the exact opposite of what is in our universe?
That's what my calculations said, but everything looks the same. I wonder if some fundamental principle of the universe has changed...
You don't mean--?

 

by BigEvilDan
10-01-01
We've got to be careful here. This is the territory of the Australian Chameleon Trout. It tries to pass itself off as other species, then eats them.
Got that Bob?
Got it.
Good.

 

by BigEvilDan
10-01-01
Did you see Tobor? He looked pretty excited.
Yeah. But he didn't go for us, and there's nobody else in the office. I wonder who he's going fo--
BZZT!
Fuck, he did it again.
You get the candles, I'll get Tobor out of the electrical socket.

 

by BigEvilDan
10-01-01
This comic was deemed "too funny" by the Strip Creator Ratings Board. It has been censored to prevent laughter-related injuries.

 

by BigEvilDan
10-02-01
...and if we identify two seperate bases for the vector space...
...we can convert the linear transformation into a simple mxn matrix...
RARR!!!!
After class...
Well I appreciate the sentiment, Tobor, a simple nudge would wake me up next time.
BUT TOBOR NEED SOMETHING TO KEEP HIM OCCUPIED AS WELL!!

 

by BigEvilDan
10-02-01
Do you think those stories of the Blair Witch Beatnik are true.
Don't be silly. There's nobody in these woods except us.
Don't be so sure...

 

by BigEvilDan
10-02-01
I wish I had some arms and legs...
Bitch, bitch, bitch. That's all you do. At least you have a fucking torso.

 

by BigEvilDan
10-02-01
Sucky sucky...
In Brad we Trust
...Five dollars!

 

by BigEvilDan
10-02-01
Stripcreator Mint.......
You're a colossal geek who should spend less time making donkey rape strips and more time outside.
.......My two cents.......
.......Stripcreator Mint
You're a colossal geek who should spend less time making donkey rape strips and more time outside.

 

by BigEvilDan
10-04-01
4i Dollars --- Imaginary Money
This bill is legal tender in places that have lost their grip on reality.
Imaginary Money --- 4i Dollars

 

by BigEvilDan
10-05-01
I'm Roger Starflier, captain of the USS Tobor. I only obey the rules when it suits me.
I'm Maura, the by-the-book first officer. I always remind the captain of the rules, even though he ignores me.
I'm X'xyx, the alien security chief. I compensate for the lonliness of being away from my people by blowing up everything I can.
I'm Doctor Martin, the ship's medical officer. I'm consistently grouchy because of the endless stream of alien viruses I have to cure.
I'm Volgor, the chief engineer. My strange alien habits lead to many wacky misadventures with the human crew.
I'm an extra with no name. I won't live to the end of the show, but you can bet I'll be back next week anyway.

 

by BigEvilDan
10-07-01
Stripcreator characters can be difficult to spot in their natural habitats.
Wait a minute...how are you camoflauged?
RAAR!! TOB-ER, ASIANGIRL2 IS PLENTY CAMOFLAUGED!!!

 

by BigEvilDan
10-11-01
Sex, donkey, wirthling, gabe_billings, ObiJo, Brad, DexX, Tobor, Pedantic, fuck, cornhole, manrape, sodomy, rotor turbines, generate gravitons...
What the hell are you doing?
...collosal geek...I'm trying to abuse the new search feature and make this the most viewed comic on the site...Spock, free porn, fire prop, l33t, 0wn3d...
...Jesus, ass, stripcreator, asian girls, all your base are belong to us, someone set up us the bomb, moh, Scotland, haggis, Australia, kangaroo....
I'm not sure which is stupider, your plan or the fact that it might actually work.

 

by BigEvilDan
10-11-01
Morning
Noon
Night

 

by BigEvilDan
10-11-01
Morning
So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
Ha, ha!
Afternoon
So I says, "All your base are belong to us!"
What you say?! Ha ha ha ha!
Evening
Yet another punchline falls into our evil grasp!

 

by BigEvilDan
10-12-01
.....................................................................................................................
Numbering panels with integers is SO yesterday!

 

by BigEvilDan
10-15-01
Go for it Gabe! It's what you want, and I'm sure she loves it.
I'm still not sure. What do you think, Jesus?
"Whatever you do unto the least of my creatures, you do unto me." So sure, go wild.

 

by BigEvilDan
10-17-01
You've got to help me, Doctor Worm. There's this exquisite dead guy who I just find S-E-X-X-Y. It's like everything right is wrong again.
You think you've got it bad? Youth culture killed my dog, I've got a rabid child, and I'm forced to be a counsellor for psychos.
Come on Doc, my emotions are in turmoil. I can't just become a robot. I can hear you have problems, but right now you're your own worst enemy.
I mean, I did great things for science! I discovered a new particle, man! But order one hooker from Istanbul (not Constantinople as some claim), and suddenly...
The next day outside New York City...
He didn't help. I'll just have to accept fate. Kiss me, Son of God. I'm ready for that first kiss.
*sigh* I need to find a way off this fucking website...

 

by BigEvilDan
10-19-01
#2: Make sure you radiate a special je ne sais quoi from birth.
There's just something about you that hits me when you enter a room, but I can't put my finger on what.
Every night I bathe in donkey sweat and cheap booze. It gives me a distinctive presence.
#5: Act like a lunatic when you feel like it.
Jesus and the aliens control the government! Repent and you will be shaved!
Get off my street corner, you crazy bitch.
#9: Go out with an almost-as-popular varsity athlete.
This is my boyfriend. He's the skip of the curling team.
Hi!

 

by BigEvilDan
10-19-01
THIRSTY BEATNIK, the US army has CALLED for our support in Afghanistan!!!
THOSE TERRORISTS ARE STEALING FLUIDS FROM THE PEOPLE!!! THE PEOPLE ARE THIRSTY LIKE TRUE BEATNIKS!!! WE MUST HELP THEM DR PEDANTIC!!
HOW CAN WE HELP THEM, THIRSTY BEATNIK?!
YOU HAVE GREAT CAPS SKILLS, YOUNG ONE. TOGETHER WE WILL STOP THE TERRORISTS!!!
EXCELLENT!!! THE TALIBAN WILL NEVER SEE US COMING WITH OUR BEATNIK CAMOFLAUGE!!!
DO WE REALLY NEED TO KEEP UP THE CAPS THING? THE TERRORISTS WILL HEAR US....

 

by BigEvilDan
10-19-01
One day in the trench...
...So I said, "Well, those stealth bombers won't generate megatons by themselves."
Ha ha!
Soldier, what the fuck are you talking about?

 

by BigEvilDan
10-19-01
Five minutes before the U.S. military didn't accidentally unleash a radioactive monster on Chicago.
Perfect. These chemicals are all I need to finish Project Allizdog, my radioactive monster.
Radioactive monster? You should build a robot instead.
A robot? Why are you always pushing this robot idea? You're just a janitor.
A robot would be cheaper, more efficient, and less likely to destroy Chicago with it's radioactive fire breath.
Hmm...sounds interesting. Now, what did I come in here for, anyway?
You could paint it red and give it an unending desire for manrape, too.

 

by BigEvilDan
10-19-01
Hello there.
Hi.
What's your name?
U.S. Military, Model C1A-NG0.
Beer makes time die!
And I make Commies die!

 

by BigEvilDan
10-20-01
Missile Silo, USA, Earth, Universe
Ocketray illway ornholecay In-ladenbay!
***Y3a|-|, Y0u G0 R0cke+!***
Ardonpay?
***| |)0|\|+ sp3/\K pIG 1a+i|\|. | sp3/\K |)0g 133+1N.*** ***lol lol***
Wait a second, who's style is this?
With this trend of people hiding behind new user names? It'll be someone's style in a minute.

 

by BigEvilDan
10-21-01
You really think you can get comic 40000? Andy Dougan's been trying to get it since comic 39936.
His mistake is announcing it. I'll boost his confidence by remaining silent, then WHAM! Comic 40000.
What makes you think you can beat him?
I have no life to interfere with my plans. And to increase my comic posting speed, I'll omit the punchline.

Showing page 4.

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