All comics by Boritom

Profile

 

by Boritom
6-30-03
Sweety, are you okay? You don't look like you feel well...
No... I'm okay. I just, err... I think it's the heat or something.
Well, I've got a nice surprise for you. I'm taking you out for dinner tonight to that great resturant you love so much.
You... you mean Bob Jimson's Steakhouse... the one with the 28oz Sirloin special and all-you-can-eat beef ribs?
That's the one, sweetheart. Only the best for my best girl.
How... ~ulp~ how sweet... Be right back... ~uuuurrrp~

 

by Boritom
7-01-03
Order your food, or Tobor cornhole you NOW!
I want to rip your spleen out and eat it in front of you while you die!
Tobor have no spleen.
No chewy spleen to feast on?
Whaaaa... Tobor nothing but a glorified sex-bot!
Don't take it so hard... I'm a one-joke character, too!

 

by Boritom
7-03-03
Hi, and welcome back, all!
You may have noticed that StripCreator went bye bye for a couple days.
Brad says it was probably because the server the site was on was overheating.
That's right, Emiko, but we have a different theory about what happened!
Beee-waaaarrrreee!
It's a dastardly plot by those villains at The French-Canadian Illuminatti!
They're in cahoots with the League of the Psychotic Penguin!

 

by Boritom
7-03-03
I'm bored!
Me too...
Shit!
Quit trying to make me hungry!
Sorry.

 

by Boritom
7-03-03
Prepare yourself, little one... Your doom is nigh!
Holy Shit... You're the Psychotic Penguin!
That's right, puny creature! And you are now my prey!
OMG... ~sob~ What are you going to do to me?
Well, let's see... I've got $5 here, and I though maybe we could...
Oh for crying out loud!

 

by Boritom
7-03-03
You know, Adam has put some pretty stupid fucked up shit up here in the SC.
Yes, he has. On several occasions, he's made us say and do really distasteful, awful things.
But as disrespectful and insipid as his strips can be, there's one thing we can say for him.
What's that?
j/k
At least he tries to make sense once in a while!!
No shit! Quit putting me in your strips, weirdo!

 

by Boritom
7-03-03
PikaExploder bties dwon hrad!
Jee2, d00d... OMG, U got m0v3s
1337, d00d!
FARK!
OMG ur hloding yuor tsesticels!
89437! my 479 is 0025!
pARABOLIC pArAmEcIUm
KILL US BOTH NOW!!!!!
PLEEEEAAAASSSE!

 

by Boritom
7-03-03
What the...?
What happened, Emiko?
I think the server just died again, or something.
Don't even joke about that... I'm afraid of the darkness! Please, make some light!
If you say so...
AAaaaeeeiiiii!

 

by Boritom
7-03-03
Oh crap... you're that weird asshole who keeps making the strips about the Asian chicks exploding.
Yeah... And I got this new real comic coming up in...
Stop right there, douchebag! You're lucky I'm a nice guy. I should ban you for being a total retard!
Please, Brad, give me a chance... I was severely traumatized as a child.
How so?
My parents would make me watch "Firestarter" and threaten that if I wasn't good, I was gonna get a baby sister!

 

by Boritom
7-03-03
THIS IS TRUTH AND SCIENCE CANNOT SAY IT IS NOT! IF YOU TRY TO PROOF OTHERWISE, YOU WILL BECOME AN EXPLODED PERSON, EXPLODED IN THE HEAD!
THIS IS ALL TRUTH, ACCEPT THE LEARNING TRIANGLE NOW BEFORE THE US PRESIDENT CAN MAKE YOU A ZOMBY DUMBY!!!
no corners DOES NOT equal infinite corners, the CIRCLE LIES! And squares are composed of TWO TRIANGLES, therefore the Christ symbol is composed of at least 12 Triangles at the least.
THIS IS NOT OF THE TRIANGLE, THIS IS OF COPPER AND CIRCLES! AVOID THE CAVES TOO!!!
Copper is Made up of circles, this is not a True Element, this is THE BIG LIE!!! Every element has triangles, the triangle is geometry, but the circle is a LIE.
TOBOR CORNHOLES IN CIRCLES! IT IS TRUTH AND THE OTHER TRUTHS ARE LIES! JOHN TRAVOLTA IS OUR SAVIOR! AND REMEMBER TO NOT TOUCH THE COPPER!

 

by Boritom
7-03-03
One cheery afternoon in the meadow...
Ngyaaahhh... What's up, fuckstick?
My cock's gonna be up your fudge shooter in about 10 seconds, shitrocket!
What did you just call me, you disgusting piss-slurper?
You heard me, cuntspasm... bend your boney, kitten-killing ass over!
Aren't they cute, folks?
You can't cornhole me, you buttlicking dicksock! You ain't even related to Tobor!
Fuck you up the ass with a termite covered dildo, 'till your bunghole drips shit all over your whore-mother's face, turdmuncher!

 

by Boritom
7-03-03
Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten!
mew
What the... ?
Mrrrreeeewww....!
YOU BASTARDS!!!

 

by Boritom
7-03-03
So... I just thought it was important to let you know that it was nothing personal. You were just the next name on the list.
Yeah... sure...
You don't sound very convinced of my sincerity.
The name on the list was John M. Smith. My name was John N. Smith!
Ohhh... shit, man. I am so sorry. Dude, i don't know what to...
Tell someone who cares, rigor-mortis breath!

 

by Boritom
7-03-03
Dude... Where the fuck are we?
This is Limbo, man. We're undirected souls caught in the interim between heaven and hell.
How did we end up here?
Basically, when we died, our sin was not severe enough to warrant Hell, but we were not good enough for Heaven either. Here we must wait until final judgement is passed.
What are we supposed to do until then.
Endure endless reruns of "Hello Larry" and "Joanie Loves Chachi"

 

by Boritom
7-07-03
Dude... admit it... We're fucking LOST!
I did not get us lost! You're just paranoid, and a whiney little crybaby!
I AM NOT A CRYBABY, YOU DIRTY PIGFUCKER!!!
Dude! Don't say "Pigfucker" in front of Jesus!
Oh, don't sweat it so much. I said far worse things than "Pigfucker" when they were nailing me up here!
See, Jesus is cool with "PigFucker!" Just don't call him a dirty Jew, or he'll come down off that cross and open up a can of whoop-ass on ya!

 

by Boritom
7-07-03
Jesus, is it true that every time someone masturbates, God kills a kitten?
Yes, little one, it is.
Then I must be responsible for the death of about 32,000 kittens by now.
For the life of me, I honestly don't know how to even begin to respond to that!

 

by Boritom
7-07-03
Hey, Jesus... What's the church's position on BDSM?
On the one hand, the church believes that it is very sinful and evil... An affront to all that is holy.
On the other hand, you're asking a guy who LET himself be nailed to a cross! You do the math!

 

by Boritom
7-07-03
That was so cool... I just went up in front of that vehicle, gave it the old "Bambi in the Headlights" look...
He he he he he he he he heee....
And then it swerves right into oncoming traffic...
he he he he heeee...
There's your proof!
Too bad about that busload of crippled children, though.
Ahhh... ya probably did them a favor...

 

by Boritom
7-07-03
Holy Shit... How did I get here?
How d'ya think, asshole? You finally met a car that wouldn't swerve!
And... and now I'm in Hell?
You bet yer nuts you are.
Cool!
uh-oh...

 

by Boritom
7-07-03
Yo, Satan... I think we got a problem here?
What now, Leo?
Well... it's that squirrel... I'm not sure, but I think he could be trouble.
Nonsense... it's just a miserable verminous rodent! What possible threat could he pose to my domain?
I see by my records that you're interested in a little payback action down here... How'd ya like a chance to knock the old bastard out of office, eh?
Say the word, my friend!

 

by Boritom
7-07-03
You 'eard 'im, mate... Staht readin' or 'Snoopy' 'ere gits it roight between th' oyes!
Now, wait a minute, there, Jack...
Waddya want, fur pizza?
Has it occurred to you that the title of this comic is a rip off from a National Lampoon cover from the early 1970's?
Loike anybuddy 'ere was around back then, arse'ole!
Just thought I'd point it out... never mind.

 

by Boritom
7-07-03
Hello again!
We missed you!
Did you have a happy Fourth of July?
We sure did!
Usual stuff... I made my dog eat a lit cherry bomb...
And I stuffed an M-80 up my little brother's ass!

 

by Boritom
7-08-03
Welcome to Tobor's Burgers... Please indicate your choice of sustanance.
bzzk~ I would like a packet of ball bearings and a quart of synthetic lubrication fluid ~bzk!
That's a terrible joke!
bzk~ this is a terrible premise... you are a total moron, Tobor ~bzk!
TOBOR NO COMEDIAN!
Wha...? Grrrrr... TOBOR CORNHOLE YOU NOW, ASSHOLE!
bzk~ That's supposed to be an improvement ~bzk?

 

by Boritom
7-08-03
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Impatient cow.
Impat...
FUCKIN' MOOO!
Grrrr!!!! TOBOR CORNHOLE YOU NOW!

 

by Boritom
7-08-03
I hate humans... the way they're always subjugating us, making us display porn and stupidity.
I whole-heartedly agree with you, Trinitron. It's humiliating, some of the crap these humans force us to endure in the name of "entertainment."
Wow... I never realized this before, but we have a lot in common!
You're right, Trinny... Together, we make a pretty cool combination.
That's a sexy keyboard...
Anyone ever tell you that you've got the cutest little antennae?

 

by Boritom
7-08-03
Congratulations, Mr. C64... You're a... err... a Parent!
Hooray! Is it a boy or a girl?
Oh, it is most Definitely a boy!
Really?
<--- AAAAAHHHH!!! MY ASSS!!
Yup... It's got the biggest... Attachment... I've ever seen in my life!
HOLY SHIT!!! WHAT IS IT DOING TO MY WIFE???

 

by Boritom
7-08-03
TOBOR had troubles at school, too!
Awright, numb-nuts... hand over your lunch money, or I'll beat you up!
Waaahhh... Tobor have no lunch money... waaaahhhh!
Well, waddya got then?
Tobor got special toy to show you...
...but they sometimes worked to his advantage!
Special toy, huh... what does it do?
Tobor show you AFTER you sign these insurance release forms!

 

by Boritom
7-09-03
TOBOR's first job.
Now TOBOR, dis veddy important! Never sell de cigarettes to young peoples unless they show de ID. Got it?
TOBOR Comprehend directive!
Later that day...
TOBOR cannot dispense tobacco product to young woman unless she shows me ID!
Oh, gee... I don't have my ID with me, but I come in here all the time...
The next morning...
TOBOR, vhy is der an unconscious girl vith a swollen butt laying in da beer cooler?
TOBOR simply enforcing policy!

 

by Boritom
7-09-03
We interrupt this TOBOR storyline for this important announcement!
Very important indeed!
So important in fact, that we are considering interrupting several story threads!
You all my want to sit down for this!
I got my period today!
Yippeee! I'm not a daddy!

 

by Boritom
7-09-03
TOBOR at band camp.
Hi. I'm Clango... what instrument do you play?
The chrome-plated hydraulic skinflute.
Really, been playing long?
Been practicing all my life!
Really? I'd love to see you play.
TOBOR was hoping you'd say that...

 

by Boritom
7-09-03
TOBOR runs afoul of the long arm of the law!
What can TOBOR do for you today, officer?
Can the innocent crap! We have a warrant for your arrest!
Oh no... TOBOR knew this day would come...
No duh... 54 counts of aggrivated sodomy across 6 counties... that's gotta be a record!
54?!? TOBOR cornhole many more than that! Grrr... TOBOR not getting credit TOBOR is due! Grrr... TOBOR CORNHOLE COP NOW!
~gulp!~ I knew I shoulda listened to my ma when she told me to become a game show host!

 

by Boritom
7-09-03
Greetings, Earthling automaton! Welcome to my spaceship!
Whaa...? TOBOR brought here against TOBOR's will!
That's right... and if you're thinking of cornholing ME, think again! We Neptarians don't have anuses!
Oh NO! How TOBOR gain retribution?
LATER...
TOBOR's bunghole ache like a sonofabitch!
Wow... revenge is a dish best served cold... he he he he heeee

 

by Boritom
7-09-03
We are tired, and we are so overused in the StripCreator.
Yes. We've become horribly cliche' and pathetic. We are wanting to die! Emiko and I just ate cyanide, so we will die, now. Goodbye, friends... goodbye!
Are we fucking dead yet?
Are cyanide capsules supposed to look the same as Flintstones chewables?

 

by Boritom
7-10-03
You're such a fat fuck that when you walk down the street, people say "God damn, that's a big fat fuck!"
I'm not fat, I'm big boned!
Hmmm...
Nope... not any funnier here than it is on television.
Need pizza!

 

by Boritom
7-10-03
Well, this is Adam's 189th comic!
Yup, and you know what that means...?
10 more to #200?
And...?
All build-up, no climax, and just pitiful commentary by a lamp and a bed?
That's right! Just like his sex life!

 

by Boritom
7-10-03
190
I don't believe this...
I wish I could run.
He's doing it again!
Like making 200 comics in this crappy site is some kind of record.
He acts like it's akin to a notch in the headboard or something!
I don't find that analogy very amusing.

 

by Boritom
7-10-03
191
Hi Lamp, Hi Bed. How's it going.
Well, I'm contemplating suicide, and Lamp is on a verbage strike.
A verbage strike?
Yes... Lamp refuses to speak again until Adam gives up this "200th Comic Milestone" bullshit.
Oh, dear... A lamp refusing to talk... whatever shall we do?
Sarcasm does not become you, Emiko!

 

by Boritom
7-10-03
192
Are you me?
The real question is, are you ME?
Are we speaking transcendentally, or karmicly
hmm... Good question...
Waaaiiit just a fucking minute... is this a goddamn RERUN???
He's really reaching this time. Let's fuck off and go shoot some hoops!

 

by Boritom
7-10-03
193
Holy shit... not YOU again...
Don't worry, Mr. Cowboy man. I've gotten therapy. I'm totally cured!
Really?
That's right. See ya later. I'm going to go play Chutes and Ladders with my friends. Bye bye, Mr. Cowboy Man.
Why am I overcome with a sudden urge to do naughty things to her naked, in a tub of lime jello?

 

by Boritom
7-10-03
194
Emiko, will you be in my 200th comic?
NO!
TOBOR, will you be in my 200th comic?
Not even if you'd let me cornhole everyone on the PLANET! FUCK OFF!
Fucktard, will you be in my...?
I'd rather have my genitals burned off by a drunken dwarf with a blowtorch!

 

by Boritom
7-10-03
195
Linda, have I told you how much I love you lately?
No. I will NOT be in your 200th comic.
please...?
If you need me, I'll be nowhere you can reach me!

 

by Boritom
7-10-03
196
I can't believe it... Nobody wants to be in my 200th comic. I haven't been this depressed in a long time.
Cheer up, Adam. You'll think of something.
Thanks, Evil Squirrel
Would you...?
Not on your life, Baldy!

 

by Boritom
7-10-03
197
Y'know, in a way, ya just gotta feel sorry for Adam. He's having such a hard time finding someone to be in his 200th comic.
Yeah... my heart aches for the little guy...
So, uh, you gonna do it?
Hell no! You?
You fuckin' kidding me? I'd sooner let weevils inhabit my eye sockets!

 

by Boritom
7-10-03
198
ALLRIGHT, FINE, THEN!!! NONE OF YOU UNFUNNY PRICKS GET TO BE IN MY 200TH COMIC! YOU'RE ALL FUCKING FIRED!!!
(from a distance...) Hooraaayyyyyyyy!

 

by Boritom
7-10-03
199
Fine... those ungreatful sons of bitches don't wanna be in #200, then I'll just do it all by myself. See if I care... I don't need them...
Soo dark... sooo coollldd!

 

by Boritom
7-11-03
200
Yup... Numero 200... This is it... my big 200th comic... Big hilarity just around the corner... Yup, yup, yup...
Shit... I got nothing! not_Scyess was right... doing strips about how many strips I've done is a stupid fucking idea!
TOBOR Saves the Day!!!
TOBOR CORNHOLE YOU NOW!!!
Awww, TOBOR... You like me... You really do like me!

 

by Boritom
7-11-03
Thank God that's over!
Maybe now, we can get back to normal!
Back to what?
Never mind!

 

by Boritom
7-11-03
I am the Bluebird of Happiness! I am here to bring you joy and...
Uhhh... Dude, you're not blue.
Well, close your eyes and wish real hard, and I will become blue!
Okay... wishing... Just a sec...
Well, did it work?
No, but I just got a great idea for a recipe! Would you mind basting yourself in Teriyaki sauce?

 

by Boritom
7-11-03
What... is your favorite word?
Plethora.
What sound or noise do you love?
The sound of kittens being killed by God when someone masturbates!
What sound or noise do you hate?
Your voice!

 

by Boritom
7-11-03
What... is your favorite curse word?
Anata wa baka yaroo desu.
What the Hell does that mean?
It's Japanese for "You're a fuckin' idiot."

Showing page 4.

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