All comics by DMSO

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by DMSO
9-22-03
What about stealing from large corporations? Is that more forgiveable than stealing from an individual?
I suppose so, but it's still not really acceptable...
What about, say, shoplifting from Tesco?
Again, only if you have valid reason, like having to feed your family or -
What if I want the cute security guard to catch me red-handed?
- or anything but that, in fact.

 

by DMSO
9-22-03
I wouldn't mind getting roughed up a bit by that guard.
I don't need these images...
I'd like to have him in hot pursuit!
Stop this.
I wonder if he carries handcuffs?
You are the principal source of badness in the world.

 

by DMSO
10-04-03
(CHANTING)

 

by DMSO
10-04-03
(CHANTING)

 

by DMSO
10-06-03
"I had a strange day at work today..."
Ah, the paint delivery. Do you need a signature?
Just here, thanks.
Aren't you going to bring it in?
I can't do that. If I left the van unattended, someone could just walk off with something, and I'd get in a lot of trouble.
But there was someone in the van with you...
Yeah, but he's Jesus. If someone tried to steal, he'd just turn the other cheek.

 

by DMSO
10-06-03
Wow. That guy sounds like a right arse. So did he stop messing around and help you at all in the end?
No, it actually was Jesus in the van. He sat and watched while I unloaded the entire delivery.
I nailed the lazy swine to a board.

 

by DMSO
10-06-03
Unit ZX-81, nothings happeni-
*Beep*!

 

by DMSO
10-06-03
*Gasp*!
Why hast thou summoned me, Robot?
*Beep*!

 

by DMSO
10-06-03
I want to sell my immortal soul!
That is novel, for one of your kind. I have the standard contract here...
Actually, I was hoping to meet with the Devil himself.
Such impudence! Very well, metal one, I shall take you to our Lord Lucifer...
AAGH!
...Though youi may not live to regret it.

 

by DMSO
10-06-03

 

by DMSO
10-06-03
Jesus Christ, that was awful! Why did nobody tell me Hell would be so unpleasant?
Using that name will gain you no friends here, robot.
I thought the road to Hell was paved with good intentions. Couldn't we just have got here by thinking positive thoughts?
You have some strange notions of Hell...
Well, I certainly wasn't expecting it to be on the moon...

 

by DMSO
10-06-03
Enough banter, tool of mortals. The master will see you now.
Good, I can't say I was overwhelmed by your conversational skills. So, how do I get -
- theAARRGGHH!

 

by DMSO
10-14-03
I'd like to be a modern-day Robin Hood.
Only instead of just plain stealing from the rich, I'd hit them in the face with a baby sized lump of gold, and then take their money.
And give it to the poor?
I'd probably spit on the poor...

 

by DMSO
10-27-03
One, and..
Lift banana!
Two, and...
Lift banana!
Three, and...
That's right, you lowly baboon! Keep up those rhythmic gymnastics, and one day you might just be good enough to join the Astro-Ape Corps!

 

by DMSO
11-11-03
Life is so terrible. If it weren't for my poetry I'd kill myself.
You goths irritate me. Life isn't that bad; at least you're not Brad.
Gosh, that's true. I hate Brad even more than I hate life.
If Brad had been alive during World War II, Hitler would have ignored everyone else and invaded Canada.
I wish I were dcomposed.
Yeah, I love him almost as much as I hate Brad.

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