All comics by Debaser

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by Debaser
3-03-04
Good day, Mr. Coyote.
Yo, Kenny.... Who's that guy?
I can present myself, sir. I am Mr. DaCat's lawyer, assistant, karate-trainer and chef. My name is Harry B. Saurus.
He will help me with this slave-issue.
In case the UN starts whining about that we're using slaves to build up our country, he will take care of it.
I thought that you were gonna sue me again.

 

by Debaser
3-03-04
Kenny's talking with his lawyer about the slavery in Kennya
Who do you want to use as slaves? People from some specific country, religion or by race or skincolor? People who work in fast-food resaurants, punk-rockers or maybe people with some kind of hobby...?
I was thinking of everyone except you, me and Conny.
That's good. Now, let's talk about my payment....
That you won't have to be a slave.
But you said something about an hour-payment!
What about 300 pounds of freedom per hour?

 

by Debaser
3-12-04
Brian? Is it really you? What's happened to you?
I've got ALS. I can't use my legs or arms. The doctors think that I will die within 1½ year.
Oh my god, that sucks. It would be really cruel to push you down the hill.
.... yeah.
I'm so evil.
AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!

 

by Debaser
3-12-04
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
I dunno.
Think about it.
Okay.
.... What the f*ck? Where's the god damn punchline?

 

by Debaser
3-12-04
I've got a job as a sport-news-reporter on TV!
What do you know about sports?
F*ck you!
Here's the spot where the, uhm.... athletes are supposed to.... run. Fast. Over the field.

 

by Debaser
3-12-04
I'm in the dressing-room for the twenty-eights with Omar H'Abnessar. So, Omar. Are you gonna bring in the Stanley Cup-trophy tonight?
Eh? No, because I'm playing basket-ball and it's the first game of the season.
Oh.... But you will win the NBA-trophy in the season-finals, right?
I hope I will, one day but never with this team we're a 3:rd division-team, for god's sake!
It's an Omar H'Abnessar that's excited about tonights game and that that believes in winning the Super Bowl, we're meeting here today. I'm Kenny DaCat, good night.
This guy's retarded.

 

by Debaser
3-28-04
Suck-ass computer, connect to the f*ckin' internet!
What's up, biatch? Compy-probs? Need help?
Yeah, this fuckin' computer can't connect to the internet.
Oh....
So, can you help me?
Sorry. Didn't even know that they've got internet on computers.

 

by Debaser
3-28-04
Wazzup, homie?
Kenny, why do you always try to sound like a black ghetto-kid when you're 'round me?
Coz I am a mutha-f*ckin' hip-hoppah! This is my style. My way or tha highway. Born, raised and will one day die in tha ghetto. Fo shizzle!
Raised in tha ghetto? You're tha fuckin' president of this stinkin' country! You've lived in a rich-ass family all your life.
Oh fuckah, son of a biaatch, hizzle fo shizzle and check out tha televizzle, fo sho, brotha n' homie! Do it in tha hood, word, bloke!
It's so cute to see ya usin' all of tha ghetto-words ya know! Now get the fuck outta here.

 

by Debaser
3-28-04
Why are you so sad?
The ghetto-childs kicked me outta their hood.
Finally! I'm sorry, but I've longed for the day you would cut out your amateur ghetto-behavior.
Amateur? Fuck you! And I'm still ruding the wued, dude. I will start a rapping-career!
"Ruding the wued"? You made that up!
No I didn't. You just can't cattah the chu-chuckah.

 

by Debaser
9-07-04
Sometimes the author of the world's best comic stops writing and after a long time he returns. Sometimes the author of the world's crappiest comic stops writing and returns. So here they are...
Hi, fans! We're back!
While the comic's been down we've talked with the author about improving the comic. In this new version there will never be any punch-lines left over.
That's right! So... Kenny, you've got a new job beside the King-business, eh?
Yep, I'm a school teacher now.
You? A school teacher??
Yeah, why shouldn't I be, uhm... LINE!

 

by Debaser
9-07-04
Hi kids! I'm your new teacher, Mr. da Cat! How many kan spell "Cat"?
ME! ME! ME!
Okay, the fat kid with a big nose.
My mom says that...
My mom says that your mom is a stupid b*tch. Okay, is there anyone who can spell "Cat"? Hey, the four-eyed girl that secretly picks her nose back there.
Boo-hoo-hoo!!

 

by Debaser
9-07-04
D-O-G, that's correct Jimmy. Can anyone spell "MOM"?
ME! ME!
You've raised your hand many times today, Tina, you must be a pretty smart kid, am I right?
Yes! M...
Wait, I think you should have a bit more difficult word. Can you spell "CRACKWHORE", huh? If you can't you'll shut up for the rest of the day, okay?
Boo-hoo-hoo!

 

by Debaser
9-09-04
I got fired from the job as a school teacher.
WHAT THE...?!
Yeah, I know. It came outta nowhere.
No, I meant... I was being sarcastic.
Dude... that's so unsensitive.
Did you just say... "unsensitive"?

 

by Debaser
9-09-04
Kenny just said "unsensitive"!
Dude, did I say "unsensitive"?
Yeah! You just said "unsensitive"!
I just said "unsensitive"?! What the hell is happening to me?
I don't know. To hear the word "unsensitive" from a bastard like you is... rare.
Please, don't call me a bastard. You really hurt my feelings.
Feelings? You don't have any feelings! You're pure evil!

 

by Debaser
9-09-04
Dude, mr. president! Some guy told me that you've evolved feelings, is that true?
Absolutely not! I haven't changed a bit! I'm evil, evil, evil.
Dude, really?
Aaahh!! I can't lie! I've got feelings! I want to help people! What's happening to me?!

 

by Debaser
9-09-04
Huh? What happened?
Congratulations, Kenny! Finally you've evolved feelings! Boy, can you imagine how much God have worked with this?
Oh, beautiful! Now how can I get rid of 'em?
What?? You wanna get rid of your feelings? Sure, if you really want to get rid of them it's just to eat me, but-
3½ seconds later...
I might have had feelings when I ate that bitch, but I didn't have no conscience!

 

by Debaser
9-09-04
Hello! Did you hear about president da Cat? They say that he's evolved feelings!
Ya, I heard. It's shaggalastic news, fo sho! At last we might get a decent church on the island.
Yes, that would be wonderful!
Ya, friggin awesome! I think I'll go to him now and tell him about the horrible conditions on the island!
Are you out of yo' fuckin' mind, biaatch? A new church? Let's compromise, you get a 200 dollar bill and a watercooler. A'ight?
---

 

by Debaser
11-15-04
I'm tired.
Tired?
I'm tired of being a king.
What are you say'n...?
Oooh... dang... No punchline!
I want to go back to the United States.
OMFG! OMFG!

 

by Debaser
11-15-04
You can't go back to the US. You've declared war at them once, and d'ya remember why we left?
...
... pollution?
No, dammit, we escaped from the prison and left the country!
Oh. Yeah... Dang.

 

by Debaser
11-15-04
Face it, we can't go back to USA.
BUT I CAN'T STAND THIS PLACE! I'M SUFFOCATING, GOD DAMMIT!!
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE! DROP IT, DUDE!
AAAAAAARRGHH!!!!
Just forget about it.
It said "AAAAAAARRGHH!!!!", but it didn't look like I was screaming. Why's that?

 

by Debaser
11-15-04
Okay. I can't go back to the US. But we can go to almost any other country, right?
Yeah.
I wanna go to Germany!
We can't go there. They might be mad about that we tried to capture it.
They can't have taken it seriously. I was threwing rocks at a castle, dammit!
Oh, but you know how germans are...

 

by Debaser
11-15-04
I'm going to Sweden.
Sweden?
Yes. Sweden.
Who's gonna be the king of Kennya now?
Next episode: Beef the Butcher
Beef the Butcher.
Who the fuck is that?

 

by Debaser
11-15-04
This is Beef the Butcher, the new king of Kennya.
Pleasure to meet you, Conny. I have big plans for the nation.
Pleasure to meet you too, Beef. Tell me, how would you handle a complaint?
Well... I think I would handle it in about the same way as I handle meat.
Oh... that's... really... well...

 

by Debaser
11-15-04
Kenny has chosen Beef the Butcher to be the new king of Kennya.
Well? He didn't seem too bad, huh?
Oh, no... typical republican.
... What's that supposed to mean?
Well, he seemed to be a bit... aggressive.
Who cares? I'll be in Sweden by the time that he's starting to "improve" the nation.
Can I come too?

 

by Debaser
11-15-04
Kenny is going to announce the people of Kennya about that he's quitting the job as the king of Kennya.
Ladies and gentlemen... the king of Kennya; Kenny da Cat!
*Clap clap clap... clap... cough*
My dear Kennyans. A sun that reaches the horisont, the blue that observes the life of one man. I am quitting the job as the king of Kennya.
YEEEEEAAAAAHH!!!
I now announce Beef the Butcher as the new king of Kennya!
He'eey!

 

by Debaser
11-15-04
Beef the Butcher has just started working as the king of Kennya
Your majesty, Beef Butcher the first, how will you improve Kennya?
Well... I will first proclaim Kennya as a democracy instead of a monarchy.
BOO!!
WHO SAID THAT?!

 

by Debaser
11-15-04
Kenny and Conny is leaving Kennya
Ahh! Once again are we sailing, Conny!
Oh, yeah!
Next stop: Gothenburg!
SKÃ…L!! But Kenny... how do you think it's goin' fo' Beef in Kennya?
I dunno. Guess he's started building some concentration camps or something.
Hah, probably.

 

by Debaser
11-15-04
Ah, sweet, sweet Sweden!
Passports, jaa.
There you go, my fine sir.
Kenny DaCat and Conny Coyote, jaa? Very good.
Taaksamiikseh!

 

by Debaser
11-15-04
Why are you visiting Sweden?
To experience the traditions and culture, the neverending winter and the only car made entirely out of wood; Volvo.
...
And the blond, beauties that only can be found in this penis-shaped land, and to observe the native swedes performing the over 1000 year old, Swedish sport of skiing.
Dude... native swedes? We're not vikings for real, you know... but you maybe meant -
- Oh, I'm sorry. The Vikingal-Swedish inhabitants.

 

by Debaser
11-15-04
Dude, I think that you made that swede at the toll upset.
What? For calling him a native Swede instead of a Vikingal-Swede?
Dude, it was like 800 years ago that vikings lived here.
But he...
... was wearing a costume, you fucking idiot!
Oh...

 

by Debaser
11-15-04
... and Volvos ain't made entirely out of wood!
Oh...
Please, shut up and let me speak from now on.
Okay.
Kenny swedish-translation: You c**ks*****g f**k.
Let's go.
Jävla kuksugare.

 

by Debaser
11-15-04
Conny and Kenny is standing in line in a super-market in Sweden.
Dammit, they didn't have any Düff in the entire store!
For crying out loud, Kenny! Moe only made it up in an episode of The Simpsons! It doesn't exist!
Don't yell at me! I'm in a bad mood since I had to sit next to Ornulf in the bus.
AND ALL SWEDES AREN'T CALLED ORNULF!! AAAARGGHH!!
Americans...
-THERE YA GO, BITCH!! - AAAKK!! Taste this! - No, NO!! NOT THE NOSE! AAAHH!!

 

by Debaser
11-15-04
Kenny takes a walk in Gothenburg, Sweden
She's not too shabby.
Ursäkta mig.
Huh, what?
Oh, you're american? You see, you can't smile at people you see in Sweden, cause they'll think you're a pervert or drunk. But since you're american it's okay for this time.
Wuh? Buh?

 

by Debaser
11-15-04
Fact: In Sweden Quarter Pounder with Cheese is called QP cheese at McDonalds.
Varsågod att beställa.
I can't speak swedish.
Order, please.
I would like to have a Quarter Pounder with cheese.
No. Food. You understand good? Food here. Nous faisons le cuisine.
CWAARTEER PAWNDER WID CHEESE! KVÄRTER PÖÜNDER WITH CHËËSË!

 

by Debaser
11-16-04
I know how I'm gonna make a living here in Sweden.
Oh, yeah? How?
I'll start a new, american, christian church!
Church?! But you're almost as bad as the devil himself! Maybe even worse!
Okay... then I'll start a new church that is mainly for teen-agers! I'll teach them how cool God is!
That actually sounds as a good idea.

 

by Debaser
11-16-04
Kenny has started an english-speaking church in Sweden, for younger citizens.
Yo, wazzaaaaaahh?! I'm reverend DaCat and I'm gonna tell y'all 'bout a dude that was called Jesus.
This guy Jesus was sent as a gift from God, and he came out through this chick called Maria. He was sent to make the world a beautiful place.
Then came the holy Shakur.
!!!

 

by Debaser
2-28-05
Double-U Tee Eph?
Kenny!
Ey, who are you?
I AM GOD!!
Woah! Did you come to give me a holy mission?!
No, I've come to tell you to stay the hell outta my church.

 

by Debaser
2-28-05
Kenny meets God
Why can't I continue being a priest?
'Cause you're a stupid asshole...
Because... because... I've got a holy mission for you!
But you just said that you had'nt.
Hey, I'm not 4 billion years old anymore. I've started to forget things.

 

by Debaser
2-28-05
What's my holy mission, then?
You... are going to... IMPROVE THIS CRAPPY COMIC!!
B-but... how?
FIRST... you're, eh, gonna have to change name... to, uhm... Caneufes.
Caneufes?
Uh, no... you pronounce it Caneuf's... the "E" is silent.

 

by Debaser
2-28-05
God have just changed Kenny's name to "Caneufes".
Dude, "Caneufes" is lame.
Haha! Yeah, it sure is!
Can't you give me a cooler name. Like "Fizz-a-pop"?
DON'T MAKE ME RELEASE MY WRATH ON YOU, CANNEFES!!
Ah, come on! You don't even remember what the name was!
Canufiss? Cathedrus? Cannes? Canneloni?

 

by Debaser
2-28-05
God has just named Kenny "Caneufes".
LAME!!
Come on, is it really THAT bad?!
YES!!
Okay... you can keep your old name then. I just thought "Caneufes" would be better for the comic.
Well think again.
Get tha hell outta here.

 

by Debaser
2-28-05
Ever had the feeling that you want to give someone a fruit?
Uh, no... wait! Maybe, actually! Maybe when I see a homeless boy or a ho-bo! Or...!
SHUT THE FUCK UP, I WAS'NT FINISHED!!!
Anyway, I'd like to give that girl an orange!

 

by Debaser
4-24-05
Hi, I'm Debaser. I am the creator of Conny Coyote and Kenny da Cat.
Lately, the comic has been sucking. A lot.
So I've decided to stop making Conny Coyote and Kenny da Cat-strips.
I will keep making strips here at stripcreator, so don't go kill yourselves, all fans.
Aah-aah-aaoohh!

 

by Debaser
4-24-05
A buddhist monk... a catholic nun... a forbidden love...
Hi.
Hi.
A VERY forbidden love...
My name is Pana'Ma Shi'ling-Pa.
I'm sister Camden.
Pana'Ma Shi'ling-Pa & sister Camden - A modern Romeo and Juliet-story. In theatres now.
Suck my balls.
WHAT?!

 

by Debaser
4-24-05
A priest starts getting messages from God...
Michael...
... the WRONG God!
God?!
You must burn the church down
Reverend Hellraiser - in theatres june 24.
I'm on my way!

 

by Debaser
4-24-05
Dolores is getting abused by her husband 24/7.
MILK THE COW, BITCH!!
I have already done that!
But now he have gone too far.
I'LL TEACH YOU TO LISTEN TO ME - BY KILLING YOUR BUNNY!!!
NO!! Not Ted Bunny!
Dolores wreaks havoc - on VHS and DVD in may 2005.
I have to. BITCH!!
Enough!

 

by Debaser
4-24-05
There's a new kid in school.
Chrrllp!
Check out the new kid! What a fuggin' penis!
He's not like everybody else.
Bzz!
What's your name, Penis-boy?
He's Satan!
BLLZEE-BOB!

 

by Debaser
4-24-05
Look! It's a fairy!
I can't believe my eyes! It can't be real!
It truly is a fairy - in theatres in october
It is real! It is actually a fairy behind my house!

 

by Debaser
4-24-05
From nowhere, a wizard suddenly appeared.
The wizard had come to share great wisdom with the human race and prevent the end of the world.
The end, which is very near.
Stay the hell outta my lands, you stinkin' faggot!

 

by Debaser
4-27-05
Do-o-onald...
What?
OH MY GOD!! NO!!! I DON'T WANNA DIE!! PLEEEAASE!!! WAAAAHH!!
Do you kno-o-ow whe-e-ere the ne-e-earest McDo-o-onald's is?
Huh? Oh... down the street, to the left and about 500 metres ahead.

Showing page 4.

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