All comics by Matchbook_Romance

Profile

 

On to 5th grade. 4th grade wasn't much to remember about.
5th grade meant had a lot of "firsts" for me.
It was my first time having the same teacher, my first time wearing trendy shoes, first time a best friend moved away from me, and it was the first time a girl ever liked me.

 

So, middle school. Those were quite the years.
6th grade, probably my most influential middle school year.
I learned that my math teacher was older than the gum under the desk, and it was the first time I fell in love with a girl and to ever feel heartache.

 

7th and 8th grade were practically the same.
These years started my biggest problems.
I was kind of in a depression, for the girl back in 6th grade broke my heart and I could let go all those years. Everything else in 7th and 8th grade were a blur, and wasn't that important.

 

Whooo... high school! One big, fucking place.
Even though I had an increasing low-esteem problem, my freshman year was pretty good.
I learned that high school wasn't that bad, the library charges you for overdue books, and P.E. was so damn lame.

 

My Sophmore and Junior year wasn't that amazing.
Didn't learn much, but I did find out the true influence of music. Music helped me through some rough spots in my high school years.
I also learned that I liked playing tennis, I sucked at art, and I had a small talent for writing.

 

My senior year. Oh man, what a year.
I learned so much. The biggest thing I learned was that friends are one of the best parts of life. Also, that having a female best friend really, really sucks.
I also figured out that I wasn't good enough for a University or State college, prom is lame, and being straight edge was only a fad.

 

So, this is my first semester at a community college.
I haven't learned anything new even though the first semester is almost over. My friend told me about this site over the summer and here I am now.
I just made 10 comics about my whole school life. What a life I lead huh? Oh God, someone give me a drink.

 

Chumley, I was given an essay assigment about 2 months ago and I haven't even started it yet.
Well, when is it due?
It's due on Decemeber 2nd. Damn, that's so close.
Well, when are you going to start?
I don't know yet. It's looking pretty grim.
In your most dire time of need, turn to Stripcreator Jeffrey. Turn to Stripcreator.

 

I'd like to address a problem I've been having for awhile. As I have mentioned before, I have a female best friend.
A good thing you say? Oh no, no my friend. It may seem innocent to the naked eye but when I grew romantic feelings for her, it all went downhill.
I began to get jealous at all the other guys she hung out with and sad when she wasn't around, and I still do. I'm even sad when she's around, because I know she doesn't feel the same way.
Why should I feel this way?
...
Ah, oh well. I'm off to go hang out with my best friend.

 

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB BRB
I don't know what the guys in the forums are talking about, but I love my spam with rice.
It's delightful with ketchup as well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So welcome to No Word Theater. The first 10 comics will be without words so you can use your imagination. The next 10 comics will have my version of the comic. Get it?
Well, without further delay, on with the show! Use your imagination!

 

Hello!
Hi there, my name is... blah blah blah blah blah blah...
Dammit, this guy is hitting on me. I thought I made it clear...
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...
I prefer the carpet over the dipstick.
Hi!

 

Is there something troubling you Tobor?
Yes Father. I have done something terrible, again...
So tell me again why you want me in my boxers?
RAWRRRRRRR!!! TOBOR CORNHOLE!!!
Tsk tsk. Even a 1,000 Hail Mary's won't save you.
NOOO... I'm so ashamed, again.

 

If you keep reading this letter...
... you'll be set on fire.

 
Well, Jeffrey went to go drop a deuce and now I'm here to take over.
Here are some comics about animals. On with the show!

 

When I'm not probing people, I mutilate cows on the side.
Oh is that so?
Prepare yourself...
Wait, I'm a bull!
Eh, close enough.
Well, that sucked.

 

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Oh God, not this again.
No seriously, why did the chicken cross the road?
Well.. err...
Wait, where are you going?
The chicken crossed the road to get the hell away from you.

 

Heya cat!
Hiyo bird! Did you do anything exciting yesterday?
Well, when Rudy was painting the wall, he got some green paint on me.
Oh darn, let's wash that off with some mineral water!

 

Hey, whatcha' got over there?
Oh, this? It's my new invention! I can change your fur color in a matter of seconds!
Hmm... I was thinking more of a light gray color.
Alright, let me just re-set the color.

 

So, that's the end of the No Word Theater Series.
I say, good job Jeffrey, good job.
Thanks, I do have one concern though.
Which is?
I hope who ever decides to read this series, reads it from the start or they won't get the purpose of it.
And you decide to end this comic by saying that?

 

Again, I was ditched by her.
She didn't call.
Thanks God Almighty for Halo.
HEADSHOT BITCH!!!

 
Yes son, me and your Father fucked all night to bring you into this world.
MOM!

 

And we'll take you back to Dcomposed Unplugged in just a few minutes. We have Janet O'Janet for some late breaking news.
Thanks Bill. This just in, Michael Jackson has admitted to molesting those poor, young boys.
Who would of ever thought that a pop legend could do such a thing?
The judges will decide his sentence within this week.
Wow... I'm at a loss for words right now.
Wait wait, this just in... Michael also admits that it was not him who kissed Lisa Marie Presley at the MTV Awards, it was his stunt double and faithful friend, Manuel Johanson.

 

And then when you're at the target, you push the button on your chest and everything goes BOOM.
So, it's like I go for the winning touchdown and do the final victory dance?
Well yeah, you die. But, your deeds are in honor of Allah.
Allah? Oh, so he's like the coach? LIKE COACH DUNSKY BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL!
Goddamn Americans and their football...
WHOOT WHOOT! FOR ALLAH, FOR ALLAH! NUMBER 69! GOOOOO TOWEL HEADS!!!

 

Art class was enthralling today.
I mean, the piece had such line definition, symmetry, and warm colors, gosh I love post-modernistic art!
What did you think of the piece?
DAMN! DID YOU SEE THOSE TITS! HOLY SHIT THOSE WERE BIG!

 

Mr. Mario, why do I have to work on Thanksgiving day?
Well, Thanksgiving is one of the most busiest days of the year.
Aren't families at home celebrating Thanksgiving? With all that mashed potatoes and turkey, I'm sure those no room for fast food.
Thats true, but this restaurant opens as a shelter for the poor, and we serve them free hamburgers on Thanksgiving day.
So, you want me to get out the gorilla meat subsitute for our hamburgers?
You read my mind.

 

Oh no...
What is it?
Santa's been into the Rum again.
Uh-oh, let's just hope he can't can't get into the stables this time...
Heyyyyyy.... Dasssssssshuuuuuuurrrrrrr... wanna "guide" myyy sleighhh tonighttt?
He gets so frisk sometimes.

 

*Gobble gobble*
*Gobbbbbbbblee GUAKKKKK*
I sure stuffed that turkey.

 

Hey Accentuate, I was just looking over your thread and I just noticed I almost posted as much as Hom did.
Yeah, you have. All good comments by the way, I really appreciate it.
Yeah man, I really admire the fact that you're open about your homosexuality. You do it in a way, where it can make any person laugh regardless of sexual preference.
Thank you.
With that being said, can you help me out with my winter wardrobe?
Shabby chic right?

 

I tried calling you the other day but you weren't home, where were you?
I went to the beach by myself, just to relax a bit and take a walk.
Oh really? How was that?
The shoreline is really pretty at night with all the moonlight and stuff. Plus, there was something there that reminded me of you.
What was that?
The abundance of crabs.

 

Hey man, why the hell are you reading a book?
It's a very interesting book.
Actually, the cover looks pretty damn stupid to me. What's it about?
It's actually one of those For Dummies books.
What is it? "Cooking For Dummies?" "Shaving Pubic Hairs For Dummies?"
Actually, it's "How To Get Rid Of Fucking Annoying Friends For Dummies."

 

Jon, I don't think this friends with benefit stuff isn't working out, I mean, sometimes I feel like you only want me for sex.
What are you talking about? You know I enjoy your company. Now let me just take off your blouse...
Yesss!
Ohhh baby!
Wait Jon, why do you want me to leave so fast? I thought you enjoyed my company?
Yeah about that, when I mean "I enjoy your company" I mean I enjoy your company when you're mouth is shut and I'm riding you doggy style.

 

Hey man, why the long face?
Man, me and Shanice got into a fight yesterday night.
What did you do this time?
We had an argument, but before she left I called her a ho out of anger.
Calling your girl a ho is like the worst thing you can say to her.
Yeah I know, but the weird thing is that before she slammed the door in my face she said- "HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?!"

 

I can't forgive you this time!
But... but...!
You're gone for days at a time and I don't know where you are or who you're with!
Please, just hear me out!
This is the third time you've cheated on me! Don't you feel guilty at all?!
Don't I get one of those "Cheat Twice, Cheat Again Guilt Free" coupons?

 

Dad, I'm a little nervous. This is my first piano recital!
Hmmm... don't be son.
DAD! What are you doing with that gun?!
I want you to take my lucky gun son. If anybody even drops lint from their pocket, I want you to take this gun, cock it, point, and shoot at the person. That ought to shut them up.
Wow! Does it really work?
Well, it did work on your mother.

 

Yeah, I could see right through you!
*Grumble grumble*
Excuse me Ted, what was the fuss with that elderly woman earlier?
Sir, she tried buying cigarettes. But I knew she was under aged so I wouldn't sell it to her. Upholding the law sir!
Ted, that woman had to be at least 60. Couldn't you tell from her face or her rather slow walk with that cane?
I know that sir, but here's the thing. How could anybody be that old if they were trying to by diapers for themselves?

 
God, those Alaskan people think they're so cool.

 

Here's a picture of my nipple Match.
His nipple kind of looks like mine.

 

Hey, I'm hungry and I feel like eating out.
Wait, what are you doing?
*Unzip*
Sweetie, when I say eating out, I don't necessarily mean you. Please put your pants back on. How about some McDonald's?

 

So we failed again last night. But on a lighter note, this is my 200th comic.
I feel a bit worn out, but congratulations Jeffrey.
So, what are we doing tommorrow night Chumley?
The same thing we always do Jeffrey.
TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!
TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!

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