All comics by Miller12

 

by Miller12
7-14-17
Timmy, I will have you know my grade point average genius!
Little Miss Lucy! Lets see your test scores after you have had a few alcohol beverages under your belt and there is a boy using his brute force to get on top of you.
I am an avid reader and In excellerated classes .I do not need mind altering subtances to act like a lady.I like to be aware of my surroundings!
Bartender! I May need a few drinks to process all this information. Bartender! Could you please make me a malted cocktail!
In that case! You may want to call your friends in advance and tell them a girl took away your virginity.
That drink is called Assualt with a deadly weapon. Does that bear come with a contingency plan?

 

by Miller12
7-14-17
Lucy, Fortunately for you I am your new bodyguard .I shall oversee all your after school activities.I am versed in three different languages, Math is my major Economically speaking of course.
The price I have to pay for chastity sure does blow my chances for a good time. Kid! Are you Licensed and Bonded?
Childhoocd obesity is a huge health issue in the school system.Some of you may want to get your heads out of your cellphones and take up exercise!
Spiritual Gangster! Are you wearing breathable underwear?
Episcopal Dave! We are trying to set a Presidential Standard for our Future Leaders!
Jenni, its not just what you can do in the classroom it's also what you can do on the field. What is a shuttlecock anyway?

 

Somebody's got to keep this blackleg (scab) organization running.Can I grab hold of your knobstick?
Young Lady! It's called a nightstick!
by Miller12, 7-14-17

 

by Miller12
7-15-17
I see.
Father! They weren't always crotchless panty's .They were once glow in the dark edible panty's until the church's landscaper showed up to mow the lawn.
I see.
What can I say, he was not wearing a shirt , he had sweat on his brow and his tanned skin was glistening in the afternoon sun.
I see.
He asked me in a seductive voice "Do you want to see my Fruit Of The Loom" and the rest is history. He showed me how to take Breath Of Fresh Air!

 

by Miller12
7-15-17
What are you doing standing on the Squatty Potty?
Chuck! I thought it was a step stool.
Congratulations! You won a freebie from the quality control field office. Sit,Elevate,Eliminate!
SEE! I Squatty Potty to adapt to my petite size.
Yes! It aligns your colon for a better bowel movement!
I cant wait for Superbowl Season!

 

Robert E.Lee, said General "Stonewall" Jackson, "is the only man whom I would follow blindfold."
He was educated at West Point!
by Miller12, 7-15-17

 

by Miller12
7-17-17
I squat on the pot and hope I dont fall in the water..
I squat on the pot and hope I dont fall in the water.
I will give you a taste of the orient!
Great! I' ll grab your camera and take my selfie. My emoji smile will please the squat on the pot patrol!
Captain! As if all the free booze, and asian porn wasn't enough now I have to hire someone to manage my tinkle account!
BYOB! Bring your own braids, a good candidate for our work release program.

 

If we don't make it as franchise favorites we could always become footsie bobbleheads.
HA,HA,HA
by Miller12, 7-17-17

 

by Miller12
7-18-17
Wiguboozer! Smuggler's Blues was not the theme song that I was expecting for the music library playlist!
Host! My ways and means saloon is closed for the week due to renovations. I have to dry out somewhere. Binging don't come easy.
This is not a speakeasy sailor.We got cameras in this library and that can be considered an acquaintance of god!
God darn it! I could lease my claim to you,but politically speaking I am government property!
The Big Brother Programming is working great on our civilian population!
Ethically speaking this is a WiFi hotspot!

 

Morally speaking drinking booze out of a paper bag in the Presidential Library in clear sight of the Police Captian is one way to get an honorable mention!
Captain! Earning you the coined phrase "Walking the straight and narrow."
by Miller12, 7-18-17

 

by Miller12
7-20-17
There is a new division in the robotics department. Kinky Kimberly! is in the development phase and our test marketing director is here to give an update on her condition.
We had a minor setback in kinky Kimberly's programmable personality settings.We are working out a few kinks in the prototype.
S&M Spanking! New and Improved Model!
Perfect Principle! Homecoming Queen prototype had to have some reconstructive facial surgery due to a glitch in the pleasure / pain fantasy feature. OJ is on the drawing board!

 

by Miller12
7-21-17
Kinky Kimberly will stand up to her stiff competition?True Companion's sex robots are among the worlds elite socialites.Young Yoko who is barely 18 yrs of age.
2.4,6,8 who do we appreciate?
Frigid Farrah who will not appreciate your sexual advances.Prepare for battle!
Foxy Roxy! What the world needs now. Anchor Woman!
Indy Pete!
Marry Me Maura! Next-generation Artistic Designers!

 

by Miller12
7-21-17
Umfumdisi! Multiple personality option switch is on. Low mileage leases on all standard models.Transgender Trainee! I see you've been brushing up on your bedside manner.
Newscaster Ned! following standard procedure Psychopath and Schizophrenia are on the drafting table.
Kimberly! You are on the police facial recognition list!
Girth Gerard! Girth!

 

by Miller12
7-23-17
Recognize!
The biometric girth recognition system has made it so much easier to spot a dick in the crowd!
Hickory dickory !
The mouse went up the clock!
I'll believe it when I see it!
1+9 =10 Magnitude!

 

by Miller12
7-23-17
Soccer Boy! Smoking cigarettes and drinking too much booze will ruin your lovely complexion.Lighting and Photoshop will only hide so many wrinkles.This is a photoready sport!
Photoready must be the reason our following includes the likes of Potus and his cast of characters!
The Brain Scan will detect if your playing with a full deck!
Insurance Premium!
63! Show us your credentials!
Coach! How did you know that biometric girth gauge would spot me in a line up?

 
by Miller12, 7-23-17

 

Monkey! Inspiring to see your not just a circus act. Whiplash Cowboy rides a Border Collie! He likes oreos and toilet paper forts!
This Stadium is big enough for all monkeys in the world and a nun. I had whiplash frenzy when I decided to come back to town. Thats when I chose to show off my seminary skills!
by Miller12, 7-24-17

 

by Miller12
7-25-17
America's favorite clown motel is on the market.It is dubbed the "Scariest Motel."
Is it haunted?
Nah! Just a bunch of creepy clowns on display.Life sized clowns,clown posters,clown snow globes,caged clowns.
Quit clowning around.That's scary even for a circus clown.
Seriously! The motel is also next to the "Historic Miners Cemetery. " It's considered the "Creepiest Motel."
What's creepy is we just entered a clown portal with our own Clown Portraits.

 

by Miller12
7-26-17
Unmasked! What happens in clown club stays in clown club!
I am from Kids Paranormal Investigations!We are following up on some ghost activity and doing a sound check for tonights cover band. Seminary Skills!
Dont be a bozo! Naked clown pictorials are on display in the kids gallery.
Harley Quinntana is this months pajama centerfold. I jumped hurdles to be the first-time forever clown.
Harley Quinntana! Where is your diaper?
I traded it in for some moonbeams and a laser light show!

 

Captain! I assure you I was not smoking cigarettes with my hand out the car window and minors in the car.
Mr Cigs! The children in the car say differently.The secondhand smoke is hazardous to their lungs .🚭 Fine day at the office of correction!
by Miller12, 7-27-17

 

by Miller12
7-27-17
Sister Ann! The Knights Of Templer Forever and The Kings Majesty!
The Special K forces always gets the job done in a accurate and timely manner.
Holy Grail! There is a mythology creature known as The Grand Dragon! Sir!The Gold Finger you requested.🎁
The Ribbon Ceremonies. 💝

 

Viking! It's called Knights Templar and this is the first Day Of Patriots Training Camp.
VALKYRIE!
by Miller12, 7-27-17

 

by Miller12
7-27-17
Are you wearing Jimmies?
Take me to the moon
Are you wearing Jammies?
Take me to the moon
Are you wearing Pajamas?
Homey! I am wearing monkey Jimjams!

 

by Miller12
7-28-17
Umfumdisi and I want to join a militant group.
Are you a man or a woman?
Potus!That question is an invasion of privacy.I signed a non disclosure agreement with the Transgender Committee.
Your either gay,lesbian, or bisexual.Transgender is a designer gene made up to sell tabloid magazines. Is it estrogen or testosterone therapy? Penis or Vagina?
Non disclosure! Is that a banana in your pants?
Kong! Skull Island and Blind Date. That's a Jerk Off!

 

Team Trump! How many monkey sequels does it take to prove a point?
Team Trump! As many monkey's as it takes to fill the communication gap!
by Miller12, 7-28-17

 

The Oxfordshire word of the day is Cereology.
Crop Circle Pop Up's Brilliant!
by Miller12, 7-28-17

 

Giganotosaurus! Paleontologists call me the "Giant Southern Lizard". On a good day you can call me your Lounge Lizard!
Hadrosaur! Paleontologists call me the duck billed dinosaur. Well that explains why its hard to estimate your actual size.
by Miller12, 7-29-17

 

Umfumdisi! I want to join a militant group!
Heterosexual! I am from taxpayer's group who are against paying for sex changes and hormone therapy in the military. Let's just say your a crossdresser trainee and on another gender bender!
by Miller12, 7-29-17

 

After all these years my skeleton size is a mystery.How is this for size?
Prehistoric Indeed!
by Miller12, 7-30-17

 

by Miller12
7-30-17
Today's news looks like an old fashioned paddle .
Some schools are seeking to bring back corporal punishment in the classroom.
Students who misbehave in class can be paddled.
Sounds a bit aggressive, but parents and teachers agree that it can improve test scores.
Extremists, Democratic National Klanbake 1924.
The Humanity Dog ate all the winniethepoo bakes and ran off with my disciplinary switch! Spank👋 Spank👋

 

by Miller12
7-30-17
Today's news looks like an old fashioned paddle .
Some schools are seeking to bring back corporal punishment in the classroom.
Students who misbehave in class can be paddled.
Sounds a bit aggressive, but parents and teachers agree that it can improve test scores.
Extremists, Democratic National Klanbake 1924.
The Humanity Dog ate all the winniethepoo bakes and ran off with my disciplinary switch! Spank👋 Spank👋

 

My conservative cohort. What do you have for me today?
A liberalization of the troops and a bone in the steak dinner!
by Miller12, 7-31-17

 

by Miller12
7-31-17
If history is correct and every car is a legend then our personalized license plate will probably raise some eyebrows.
Yeah! Maybe you should put on your hat so the cops don't see a couple of carnivores riding the open road.
Super Alpha Beta! Now we look like a couple of rockabilly carnivores.
The look we are going for is Obscurity!
Tooms!Taking a leak on the side of the road is not going to earn you a badge of courage.I'm going to have to call this moving violation into the station.
Red and White Stripes should earn me a ride home!

 

The History Channel says "There is a legend behind every car."
What's your story?
by Miller12, 7-31-17

 

The Press Conference was a Media Clown Circus.Preaky! Let's Thank The Lord Our Savior!
Adult Entertainment has its advantages!
by Miller12, 7-31-17

 

The Animals!
Photo Bombshells.
by Miller12, 8-01-17

 

The Animals!
Photo Bombshells.
by Miller12, 8-01-17

 

Tooms! I will write this ticket to ride. The Blue Ribbon Revival.
Coatail Crony! All paperwork is in order including the medical examination!
by Miller12, 8-01-17

 

by Miller12
8-03-17
Epic! Typical monkey eating a banana.
Football Hall Of Fame!
KashiStories.com
How about you give me that banana for sustainable energy?
Fair trade agreement.I give you an insider's tip ...Go Lean Kashi!Greens*Beets*Sprouted Legumes*Probiotics*Dark Cocoa*Plant Powered Shake.
Preseason Game Intervention! What's your technique?
Hybrid Nation is real and their mascot is pulling an all nighter.

 

Monkey! Consult your physician before you start building blocks of nutrition!
Whoa! Upskirting the competition!
by Miller12, 8-03-17

 

by Miller12
8-04-17
Barry Jinglejangles! Some scruffy sea captain asked me to give him head.
Blonde! That is so medieval.Hop on the life raft with me. I have a bottle of pink champagne!
Bon Voyage! My dearest confidant. Maybe I should wear fishnet stockings to catch an all american stud.
Ship sailig away!You play mermaid and I play headmaster with the sultans of swing.What's at stake?
Head Of The Class.

 

by Miller12
8-04-17
It's true our phones have evolved.
Information is at our fingertips.
Solar Eclipse August 21,2017 Planet Of The Apps! Headspace App. Grab your headsets and enjoy the journey! 🎧
Telepathic Communication Advanced Technology!

 

by Miller12
8-06-17
Baby Advisory Broad! When does a routine diaper change become a full on stimulation?
When I grow up I hope I don't suffer from diaper deficit disorder.
I am here from the department of diaper deficit. The logical way to diaper reform is to clean up the mess as quick as possible.
Wiguhooker! I am already in my training pants and ready to take on the world when I grow up!
Great Blow Job! That should take care of all the Hookers and Punks of the world.Now how about we get back to the Copyroom!
Next on the training wheel agenda is to crack that whip on all the wheelers and dealers!

 

Oh! Baby Baby! I am your new delicious diaper monitor.
Jenni! All of a sudden I feel like a regression relapse disorder coming on. I should poop my pants after all I like hands on training program! No wonder why there is a self medicating syndicate!
by Miller12, 8-06-17

 

Phreaky In The Sheets!!! Would it be safe to say that you have gone where no phreaky has gone before?
Captain! That defines the opioid epidemic. How do we explain the gender neutral bathrooms to the children?
by Miller12, 8-06-17

 

Ancient Klansman Philosophy is to provide a safe haven for new recruits!
Welcome Toga! International Brotherhood.
by Miller12, 8-06-17

 

by Miller12
8-06-17
August Moon known as Sturgeon Moon and "Moon when all things ripen."
Sturgeon Fish are usually caught around this time of year and their eggs are the source of better grades of caviar.
This is my first Moonwalk.
Sometimes Sturgeon eggs are combined with Paddlefish eggs Creating Caviar Magic!

 

by Miller12
8-07-17
On this day in American History August 7, 1782 George Washington creates The Purple Heart Award .
Let's take a moment to thank the American Soldiers for their Bravery!
Thanks Soldiers, for your Military Valor for making my day a Freedom Walk!

 

by Miller12
8-08-17
Fire🔥
Fury🚀

 

by Miller12
8-09-17
I'm not going to lie, I am here for the apples.
White Nationalists! Rally The Troops! There are at least 7,000 different varieties of apple's.
You could try a different apple everyday and it would take 20 years to still not fully understand the Apple Spectrum.
Dad! This is the Cherry Tree! But General Lee is sure glad you made it to The Rally!

Showing page 4.

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