All comics by RizzleMcIzzle

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by RizzleMcIzzle
4-20-05
Earl, what did I tell you?
"If your shuriken lands in my yard again, I'm keeping it". I know Mr. Johnson, I'm really sorry.
Well, I suppose if you're really sorry, I can give it back. Don't let it ever happen again though, ok?
Ok, it's deal! Thanks Mr. Johnson!
The hell was that?!
This is the weirdest section of Norwood I've ever been to.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
4-20-05
They call me tater salad.
Really? I call you unfunny.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
4-24-05
*ahem....
....
so...
...
How's riding your sister's coattail to stardom going?
...

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
4-24-05
*ahem...
....
so...
....
You're sister's untalented, she looks terrible with dark hair, and you're a freakin' idiot.
Pizza hut... buffalo wings... weeeee!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
4-25-05
Roll that beautiful bean footage.
After the beautiful bean footage...
Yup, only Duke and I know the secret repcipe and he's not telling...
The fuck I am!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
4-26-05
So let me get this straight: You like her, so you decide to break into her house, make her dinner, and you don't understand why she was creeped out...
No, I don't understand at all. It's like they say, "All is fair in love and war." I live by that.
Uh huh. Hmmm..
What?
She filed a restraining order.
That's not fair!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
4-26-05
It's the comic character summer camp...
Ha, it's kinda funny that we're rooming together like this.
Yeah, we're not even supposed to be in the same comics anymore...
Yeah, not after what happened the last time we were in a comic together.
Uh huh, we have just enough room to flash back about that...
FLASHBACK!
Vietnam!!!!!
LSD!!!!!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
5-02-05
What did you have for dinner last night?
I had imitation crab meat and an ice cream cone.
I had a piece of chicken that was older than me...
I had the flesh of a young virgin cooked in the fires of hell and served with potatoes grown by Lucifer.
What?!
It was one of those dinners from Lean Cuisine.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
5-02-05
(somewhat based on reality, or at least the first line is)
I saw 'Saw' the other day.
Hahaha, "saw 'Saw'"! That's funny!
Hahaha, it is! I didn't even realize I said that!
I think the guy who wrote it must've been thinking about how funny a title that would be just for that sentence!
Hahaha, yeah! What a goofball!
Really.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
5-02-05
Wow, London has monkeys?!
Not just any old monkeys, Sarah. We have talking monkeys!
Aww, that's so cute! So what's your name?
Davey Jones.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
5-08-05
Another date...
So, you said you're a cancer?
No, I said I have cancer.
hmmm....
......
I'm a virgo!
......

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
5-10-05
I like your hat, Sarah!
Thanks. I like yours, too!
Thanks, it's a 30's gangster's hat!
I know. I see it.
You do?! Awwwww, I 'hat' this stupid holiday..... oops, I said 'hat'! Hahahahahahahahhah hahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahaha!
Hahahahahahah ahahahahahha hahahahahaha ahahah (subliminal message: this isn't funny) hahahahahahah ahahahahha ahahhahahahahah ahahahahhahah!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
5-29-05
Hi Ry.
*sigh... hi Dee.
What's the matter?
Oh nothing. I'm just crying on the inside.
That's not good.
Tell me about it. You can't get tissues in there. Believe me, I've tried. They taste gross and they don't feel right going... well, they taste gross.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
5-29-05
At the local milk bar...
So can I, uh, get your number?
Suddenly...
Ryan!
Uh oh...
What are you doing?!
I was just teaching her how to count! I swear!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
5-31-05
*sob
Hey, what's the problem buddy?
Oh George, everything's going wrong. Tami broke up with me when she found out I was cheating on her. She was the sweetest girl, and I broke her hea...
Fucking stupid ass autistic bartender!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
5-31-05
I'd take a bullet for you, man!
NO, I'd take a bullet for YOU, man!
...
...
Would you like to purchase your copy of this shitty comic?
OK...

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
6-04-05
Wow, are you Orlando Jones?! I love you in those Seven Up commercials!
I don't do them anymore...
Oh... well, The Replacements was funny.
No it wasn't.
*Ahem.
I was in The Time Machine...

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
6-04-05
Hey kid! Want a smoke?
No thanks. I'm Ryan, remember?
Hey kid! Want a drink?
No thanks. I'm Ryan, remember?
Hey kid! Want me to sex you up?
Ew, fuck no! ... I mean, I'm Ryan remember?

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
6-05-05
At the National Poop Monument...
Well Sarah. Here it is, the biggest turd in the world.
Funny, I thought it'd be bigger.
....
....
THE END? ... yes.
poop.
poop.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
6-05-05
Hey Meggie!
Hey Bryan! Want to come out and play?
Okay, Meggie. After I finish my juice box I will!
Yay!
Later that day...
He never got to finish his juice box...

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
6-07-05
A comic...
OMG! I looooove Ryan!
I do, too! He's so fine!
Still a comic...
I think he's kinda cute.
Yeah, he's definitely my kinda boy...
The comic is being made by, you guessed it...
*sigh... this is making me feel better, even if it won't last long. Oh comic girls...
(To be continued...)

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
6-07-05
Dee! Oh man, I did not know you were there until you said, "To be continued..." in parentheses!
Ryan, shut off that computer! We're finding you a girlfriend. You're in desperate need of one.
Minutes later... (well, first Ryan had to get ready and my goodness, he takes FOREVER! Definitely more than a few minutes let me tell you.... anyway...)
Well, here we are.
Um, this looks kinda familiar...
Hahaha! I've got you in my clutches now, Ryan and Dee...
(To be continued...)

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
6-07-05
Dee! Oh man, I did not know you were there until you said, "To be continued..." in parentheses!
How could you not think that this would be possible?! You just put it in your comic! C'mon, you're coming with Sarah and me.
Gosh, what a strange series of events...
Yup. Now you understand the reason why we're here right? You're going to go over there, and you're going to talk to that girl...
Hahaha! Yes! Yes! I have all three of them stuck in comic form! With them out of the picture... and in the comic, hahahha, (what a clever joke!) I shall rule the world!
To be continued...

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
6-07-05
Cripes! I knew I forgot something. Sarah wasn't in that last one! Damnit!
I guess you can't rule the world, huh? That's ok, I forgot to speak in parentheses.
That was my fault. I make the comics around here. So, where are we going?
You, Dee, and I are just going to go hang out in the cementary background. Oh, and 'Mystery Girl' is coming along too...
'Mystery Girl' you say? Hmm, maybe these comics will have some romance after all... Say Sarah, does Mystery Girl lik- ...
No, she hates you.... THE END!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
6-07-05
Hello, folks. I'm Ryan, star of my own comics, creator of my own comics, and only reader of my comics (by now, I'm thinking that's close to true).
Anyway, I would personally like to apologize for that last series of convoluted and just plain stupid comics. You see, I'm really just a lonely kid with no self-esteem, no life...
I really don't have a lot going for me, really.... *sigh....
Wow, what a shame. If he didn't wallow in his own self-pity so much, maybe I would've slapped his ass... oh well.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
6-07-05
Hello folks. What you just witnessed was an elaborate scheme... That's right, I want ass slaps.
So if you truely love or wuv someone, and know they won't sue you for sexual harassment, give them a big slap on the ol' butt cheek.
Thanks and goodnight.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
6-07-05
Well kid, I have to go away. I've made too many comics lately. I need to move on.
No, don't go!
I'm sorry, but sometimes you have to be strong.
Please don't! I'll help you make comics! Good ones! Just don't go!
Geez, kid. Calm the fuck down. I'll probably be back in a couple of days, weeks, maybe even months. Gosh, kids are so fucking hyper these days...

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
6-29-05
I told you kid, I'm not John Oates ok?
Well, you sure do look like him.
I know I do, but I'm not him ok?
Ok, but will you sing Maneater?
Get the fuck away from me, kid!
Gez, looks like somebody lost that loving feeling...

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
6-29-05
Hey Sarah! I just -
....
Oh yeah. Fuck.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
7-03-05
So Dee, did you enjoy Live 8?
Yes, especially the part when we drunkenly danced through a fire hydrant.
Cool, so do you now realize the pain and suffering people are experiencing in Africa?
Yeah, I was touched and i didnt have money for a vegetarian cheesesteak so i felt their pain.
So was Live 8 a success?!?!
HELP ME!!!
What's a cheesesteak?

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
7-03-05
Hello, I'm Jeff McHenryson. Jill is off today. She's having her period and ...
*ahem Jill! Sorry, my mistake.
That's quite all right Jeff... Breaking News: That piece of paper Jeff is holding is being used to hide his erection...
Now over to sports.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
7-03-05
I wish I had a friend...
Maybe I can help.
Really?! Wow, this'll be just like that movie Iron Giant! Only you won't get blown up into a million pieces and -

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
7-03-05
Nice hat, man!
Thanks, you too!
Nice shorts, man!
Thanks, you too!
Hahaha, purple hoodie! Whatta fag! Hahaha!
Shut up!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
7-03-05
What Mr. Devins, the science teacher, does after school...
Well, it looks like it's just you and me...
Yeah, you like this don't you?! Yeah, it makes you hard like calcium! Oh shit, yeah!
I'll see you first period tomorrow.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
7-03-05
No, I don't...
C'mon!
Ok, but...
Regrets under the newsdesk at 11:00!
Hey!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
7-05-05
Crying again?
Actually no, I was playing peek-a-boo with this little baby and... hey, where is she?
He seems like a better role model.
Maybe it's not in deep enough...?

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
7-05-05
You were wonderful...

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
7-08-05
Ryan, I want to have your baby...
Really...?!
After a brief conversation...
*talking*
*talking*
Moments later...
Five bucks sound good? It's my final offer.
Hmmm... nah, fuck it.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
7-08-05

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
7-08-05
Hey, Jake! Did you hear about that new zombie movie?
No, Phil. What about it?
It's rated, "uuunnnnggghhh".
Haha! Phil, you are the living end my man!
Haha, thanks. See you around, dude.
You too, kemosabe. Bye.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
7-08-05
So did you hear about that new alien movie?
No, wait. Let me guess: it's rated "bleep bloop".
No, it's called "War of the Worlds" or something like that. I heard it was gay. it had Tom Cruise in it.
Oh, Mr. Publicity. Yeah, I'm so sick and tired of hearing about him and that Katie Holmes chick or whatever.
Seriously, he's only with her because Dakota Fanning isn't 'legal' yet...
I have a gun!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
7-09-05
Were you watching Comedy Central?
Yeah, that son of a bitch Mencia was making fun of us.
I've never seen a guy base his "comedy" on stereotypes so much... well, besides Martin Lawrence.
Yeah, let's go enforce some stereotypes.... on his house!!!! hahaha!!!!
Damn, looks like the people who hated the show beat us to it.
Yeah, remember his segment "Why the F@#& is this in the News" or whatever? Well, why is his show on COMEDY Central?! Stupid network executives...

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
7-10-05
Martin Lawrence? Is that you?
Yup, you're just in time to see me in action in my new film, Black Knight 2: Black Ninja.
Oh, isn't that kind of... um... how shall I put this... 'fucking stupid'?
Hey, let's see you come up with an idea for a movie.
Oh, what a 'Rebound' that was, Martin. Looks like you got that shred of dignity back and you're ready to dunk it into the 'shitty movie' net.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
7-10-05
Hey buddy!
Don't screw with me, kid! Give me the game cartridge with the plans... NOW!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Somebody's been watching 'Cloak and Dagger' a bit too much...
Don't you mean 'DARYL'?
No, I meant 'Cloak and Dagger'. Get your 80's kid films straight here, mister.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
7-11-05
Refer to Ryan's classic comic "Spanky Goes to Hollywood" before viewing.
"That's one big pile of shit."
And if you still don't get it, don't worry. I probably still love you.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
7-11-05
Ok, I may have found you a role in a new summer blockbuster. However, you might not be too pleased.
*sigh... just say it.
Resident Evil 3
Geez... no no no!
I'm sorry. It's just, you fit the role so well, and i-
I told you, I want to do romance! Fuck, you're fired.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
7-13-05
Aw, Ryan, what's the matter?
Oh, Ted. Everything's been going so wrong lately.
Why don't you tell me all about it. Maybe I can help you.
Um, ok. I guess.
C'mon. Just sit on my lap, take a shit in me, and I'll flush your worries away.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
7-13-05
So I was watching 'The Birdcage' the other night. I just don't get it.
What do you mean?
I don't know. I just didn't get it. I thought it was supposed to be funny.
Well I've never seen it before. I just know of it. Well, I gotta go. Bye.
Back at home...
I don't fucking get it!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
7-19-05
So Harry, I see you're snogging my sister now?
Yeah...
That's fine. Better you than any of those other guys, but Harry, don't take this snogging business to far...
I won't.
Some time later...
Hey Ron, um... are there aborions in the wizarding world?

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
7-19-05
June...
July...
August...

Showing page 4.

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