All comics by ladyjdotnet

Profile

 

by ladyjdotnet
10-01-07
Art can be made far more socially relevant if it displays boobs.
So you're saying you want boobs to be prominently featured in my comic.
Yes.
Ok.

 

by ladyjdotnet
10-16-07
I'm home! I brought home a bucket of legs and thighs like you wanted. It's in the kitchen.
Awesome! I haven't had KFC in ages!
KFC? Oh.
What?

 

by ladyjdotnet
11-04-07
How do you get a nun pregnant?
I don't know. How do you get a nun pregnant?
You have sex with her during the ovulation phase of her menstrual cycle.

 

by ladyjdotnet
11-04-07
This one came from my sister.
A guy walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this!"
I love my sister.
So the doctor prescribes a mild pain-killer and an anti-inflammatory, and two weeks of physical therapy.

 

by ladyjdotnet
1-26-08
I'm just saying that I don't think we should be having so little sex just because we've been married for five years.
I think you may be operating under a misapprehension.
What, you think it's normal to have so little sex at this stage of the relationship?
No.
What's the misapprehension, then?
That we're still in a relationship.

 

by ladyjdotnet
6-20-08
I've been so nervous about our first date. I must have changed my clothes 16 times!
And that's what you settled on?

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-11-10
So did you run in the race for the cure?
Yeah, I totally beat out cancer!
Pretty impressive. Cancer moves fast.
Am I allowed to make edgy cancer jokes too, even though I'm not a cancer survivor?
Oh yeah, absolutely! We all have to laugh at cancer to beat it!
Well, chemotherapy helps, too.

 

Do you believe in epiphanies?
I used to, but then I had this moment of truth where everything suddenly became clear to me.
by ladyjdotnet, 4-11-10

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-12-10
What's on your mind? _
...totally just blew off work today! Playing video games!
What's on your mind? _
...thinks it's way too nice a day for being in the office! Going to the park!
What's on your mind? _
...is pretty sure that his employees have forgotten that they facebook friended him! Documenting unexcused absences for disciplinary action!

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-12-10
Look, I'm sorry I embarrassed you in front of your parents.
Are you really going to give me the silent treatment for the whole 6-hour drive back home?
No, I have other ways of making you pay.
Oh?
Yep. The power windows are stuck shut, and my road trip snack basket consists entirely of cheese products.

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-12-10
Your coworkers have been complaining about your incessant punning.
I'll see what I can do to tone that down. It's just so much a part of my personality. It's like an addiction.
They also have asked me to reprimand you for your repeated RickRolling and frequent emailing of LOLcat picture macros.
I may have to chastise you publicly if it conti- ...what's the matter, man? You're turning purple! Oh for the love of... Fine! Just say it.
THIS IS SO DE-MEME-ING!

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-12-10
The internet is absolutely the single most significant invention in recorded history!
The hammer was a pretty useful invention, too.
Communication, research, the sharing of ideas... everything revolves around the information superhighway!
Oh, I don't know... a nice, relaxing discussion with the missus while she cards wool and I whittle...
The Earth spins on its access!
Scrapple sales have gone way down since people started googling the ingredients.

 

There are no new ideas.
I've heard that.
by ladyjdotnet, 4-13-10

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-14-10
I think my comics may be getting funnier. Maybe my humor is improving with age.
Well, it sure is starting to get ripe!
So's your face.

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-14-10
I'm having so much trouble coming up with ideas for a comic every day.
Maybe I need more discipline.
Never mind.

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-15-10
You know, I think I spent every day of last year just totally drunk off my face.
You did.
So did I. I was right there getting drunk with you. Don't you remember?
No.

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-16-10
A dangerous pothole on my street caused hundreds of dollars worth of damage to my car!
Please hold, Driver's Ed Avenger will help you learn to avoid road hazards.
No! The problem is that I can't afford to fix it because I just paid my taxes - taxes that should fix potholes!
Please hold. Professor Budget will teach you how to plan properly for life's little financial emergencies.
Captain Civil Servant, you can really be a dick sometimes.
We all try our best to do our jobs well at the Superhero Hotline.

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-16-10
You have summoned the wish fairy! I will grant one wish!
I want to be just like Amy Grant!
Your wish will be granted!
No! Wait! Shit! I meant Lee! Amy Lee!
Oh, fiddlesticks!

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-17-10
We're off to go play some DD&D - Drunken Dungeons and Dragons. Want to come?
I'm too young to drink.
I know, but we need a DD&D DD.

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-18-10
I tell ya, Lenny... there are definitely a couple of things I miss about being a smoker.
What's that?
Well, for one thing, there's the gossip. I never hear anything any more- at least until everyone else has heard it.
That's true. Smokers do always seem to be more in-the-know.
...and for some reason, a twice-daily excursion outdoors is way more acceptable when called a 'smoke break' rather than a 'fart break.'

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-19-10
Bad news! Your insurance declined to pay for your treatment. Trepanning is excluded under the 'Darwin clause' of your policy.
Oh no!! I don't want to die!
Never fear! Your injury will be featured on a reality show we're airing in a few minutes, and if it's popular, viewers can pay $1.99 per vote to save you.
Won't this reality show idea just encourage an epidemic of idiocy-induced injuries in the name of fame-seeking?
Oh, of course it will... but this allows us to eventually weed out of humanity all but the most entertaining idiots!
I'll do it, then! Especially if I get to bleed on Simon Cowell!

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-20-10
Hey, buddy. Whatcha doing?
I just got an email from Foursquare, letting me know that I was ousted as the mayor of the Cinema 18 snack bar.
So I'm writing my concession speech.

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-20-10
In other news, gun enthusiasts recently congregated in Washington
to protest gun control and the decreased availability of weapons
because a show of superior numbers will make us want to arm them.

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-21-10
Your lungs are seriously damaged from exposure to bad weather over the last several months. What were you doing?
I was outside from sun-up to sundown, in front of the Blue Cross & Blue Shield offices, protesting.
Got sick protesting a health insurance company, eh? There's some irony in that. Was it worth it? Did you raise awareness for your issue?
Some. This comic was written by someone who has driven by us every morning on her way to work for the whole winter.
Does she know what your protest is about?

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-21-10
I have to go down to the plasma center and sell my dignity for $25 after work today.
I hear ya. It is a little demeaning to wait around for hours for your turn to be milked like a cow of your body's byproducts, all for a few measly dollars.
No, that part doesn't really bother me so much...
I just don't understand why they make me dance naked first.

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-22-10
Mom! I'm getting married!
That's wonderful news, dear! Have I met him?
Him? Mom! I'm straight! I'm marrying a girl!
Of course you are, dear. My mistake.
So this new girlfriend of yours... does she know you're gay?

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-23-10
Sweetie? I want ice cream. Why don't we have any ice cream?
Because we didn't buy any.
That's true. But why don't we have any now?
Because you're a bitch?

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-24-10
I told you so.
Slut.

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-24-10
If you buy these pink Susan G. Komen M&Ms instead, a portion of what you pay goes to the cure.
Hmmm.
Sure. Why not? They don't cost any more than the regular ones.
And Robert Smith has been out of work for a while. I'm sure he could really use the money.

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-25-10
What can I do for you, officer?
I'll need to see your citizenship papers.
Citizenship papers? I was born here. What the hell is this all about?
Arizona law allows us to require suspected illegals to show us citizenship documentation.
Do I look Hispanic?
Sir, we're not allowed to profile anymore. We now have to harass every minority equally.

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-26-10
Not one person ever in the history of karaoke has ever sung What a Wonderful World without affecting an overdone gravelly Louis Armstrong voice.
Won't you please be the first?
Brought to you by Citizens Overcoming Ridiculous Karaoke.

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-27-10
At. Cat. Fat. That. What's that? That's a fat cat. Look at the fat cat.
I am think that it not very nice to calling people fat. Is maybe make person very sad. Is true?
Ha! Good point! I think it's okay to call a cat fat, though. Ok, lesson over for today. We'll pick up again tomorrow.
I am thanking for the help understanding American words and customs!
Hello, my American friend! You are looking most especially like a cat today!
Thanks, buddy!

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-28-10
Since I came back to Stripcreator, I have made a point to create at least one comic every day, without fail.
I was just about to crash for the night since I've been feeling under the weather, and I realized I forgot to make today's strip.
Uh oh. Too late. NyQuil's kicked in.

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-29-10
I ordered the German pancakes, but I don't know what these are.
That is the correct meal, sir.
But they're all dark and dense.
What were you expecting?
I guess I kind of thought they'd be light and Aryan.
Might I interest you in some luftwaffles, instead?

 

by ladyjdotnet
4-30-10
So tell me everything that happened, and we'll figure out what our plea is.
Well, I got this last minute text message that there was a pirate themed costume party... and I do love a costume party. I really get into my roles.
Go on...
So I get there, and no one is in costume. They're all Frat Douches with their ridiculous backwards hats, and they're laughing at me! So I did what any pirate would do.
You set the bar on fire.
No, I set the Frat Douches on fire. Their pussified flailing is what set the bar on fire.

 

by ladyjdotnet
5-01-10
I have been finding inspiration from real events in my life for comics, but I have a problem.
Oh, what's that?
If I write about friends, they might be offended.
You won't have to worry about that after a while.
You mean I'll find more ideas to inspire me and I won't have to mock my buddies?
Nah, eventually you'll run out of friends. The problem comes with its own solution.

 

by ladyjdotnet
5-02-10
Mmmm. Meat, meat, meat, God, I love meat. Nom nom nom, meat!
I bet you could adapt to a vegetarian diet if you really tried.
No way! I love meat way too much!
What if you were abducted and placed in a vegan community where the only available food was salad and gardenburgers?
I would have to eat the vegans.
See? I told you that you could eat vegetarian!

 

by ladyjdotnet
5-02-10
Screechbot
I am a destructobot that gathers energy from the unnecessarily high-pitched noises that children make when they're playing outside.
The Buffet Troll
I live under the salad bar and gobble up children who run around unsupervised at restaurants.
The Downstairs Neighbor
I swear to Jesus that if that kid doesn't stop galloping through the halls, I'm going to string fishing line across the hallway at his neck level.

 

by ladyjdotnet
5-03-10
I've really been working hard on sticking to this new Ultimate Body Transformation challenge. It's been tough, but I'm proud of myself.
Transformation? Tough? Nah. It's a total piece of cake. Watch.
Very funny, Satan.

 

by ladyjdotnet
5-04-10
Wait a second. You, the Lord of Darkness, have been pretending to be a corporate middle manager for the past 16 months. Why?
You remember your vacation in Jamaica last year, how you did a crossword every day to keep your mind sharp? It's like that.
You're on vacation and you've chosen to spend 70 hours a week in an office? How is that better than Hell?
Well, there's air conditioning... and nearly anonymous broadband internet access.
I can post all kinds of evil crap on message boards and forums, and the sysadmins just know that it came from here, but not from whom!
Yeah, about that. I'm here from the IT department.

 

by ladyjdotnet
5-05-10
You've been using the company's connection for unauthorized websurfing, because of our anonymous proxy server.
Yep. That's exactly it.
But what I am showing here is that you have disabled the safe surfing filter.
Of course I did.
But without the safe surfing filter, your computer, and then the entire company network, is at risk for viruses.
Yeah, baby... but with it on, I can't feel the internet.

 

by ladyjdotnet
5-06-10
Stupid broken copier! Hey, chickie. Where's the damned toolbox?
Um, sir... I can't help you while your demonic genitalia is so freely exposed.
Fine, I'll change back into the form I was using before.
That would be better.
NOW can you tell me where the damned toolbox is?
I really should just turn around and leave at this point, but I must know. Where do you buy crotchless business suit pants?

 

by ladyjdotnet
5-06-10
Where I got the crotchless business suit pants is immaterial.
That was a terrible pun, sir.
Regardless, the important thing is that you look at my exposed crotch.
Um, why?
The manual for the broken copier said to examine the ball barings.
Two puns in one strip, sir? I quit.

 

Oh shit! I forgot my lunch cooler on the bus!
by ladyjdotnet, 5-07-10

 

by ladyjdotnet
5-08-10
It's a tough job being a rare, scary, scaly, nasty, tentacled creature.
At least you get lots of work. There's not quite as much for many-eyed creatures.
That's true. Besides my regular gig as Cthulhu, today I'm playing Medusa, and right afterward I'm a character in the Legend of Zelda.
Which one?
The fireball-spitting creature that lives in the river and surfaces in a semi-predictable pattern.
If you leave the Medusa costume on, you'll be a Gorgon-Zola!

 

by ladyjdotnet
5-09-10
Hey, how did that recruitment thing go?
I totally drank the kool-aid, if you know what I mean. I'm just here to say good-bye.
You mean you're joining their cult?
No, I mean I literally drank the kool-aid.
Was it laced with some sort of drug to make you susceptible to their indoctrination?
No, thank God. Luckily it was only laced with a slow-acting lethal poison.

 

by ladyjdotnet
5-10-10
Welcome to my butcher shop.
I'm so glad to find this place! I run a gay vegetarian commune and we totally need your services!
Why would vegetarians need my services?
Well, we're all afraid to squish spiders, and too prissy to change flat tires...
...so we figured we need someone butcher.

 

by ladyjdotnet
5-11-10
How are you going to get there? I'll be at work, so I won't be available to drive you.
The dojo is a short bike ride away. I can get there on my own!
The lessons are very expensive. I can't afford this if this is just a passing fancy.
It's not! I have never wanted anything more in my life! I just want to learn martial arts! Pleeeeease!
...I suppose if I don't get you any birthday or Christmas gifts... and with that new self-discipline you'll gain, you can do a lot more around here...
Perhaps I spoke hastily. There are many other, less expensive pastimes to consider.

 

by ladyjdotnet
5-12-10
My name is Chen, and I'm an addict. I have been clean for 6 weeks now, but I think about using constantly.
Hi, Chen! Welcome! You're among friends here. We all understand the allure of the forbidden and the difficulty you face every day.
And despite the gastroesophageal erosion and tooth decay, people think a Lemonhead addiction is somehow not as "real" as a heroin addiction.
...get out.

 

by ladyjdotnet
5-13-10
I think this Kanji is very appealing, but I don't know what it means. I don't actually speak or read any Chinese.
That symbol means "Dragon," but its placement on a person's body modifies its meaning, as well.
What do you mean?
On an ankle, it means "Sorority Dragon." On a hip or buttock, "Sexy Dragon." On the neck, it means "Unemployed Dragon."
What about right here?
Little Dragonfly.

Showing page 4.

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